Potty Training for a 26 Month Old Girl - Won't Go Poop on the Toilet.

Updated on February 05, 2009
K.R. asks from Saint Paul, MN
14 answers

My daughter turned 2 in December and she is definitely ready to potty train. We've been gradually introducing the concept for a while now and she definitely gets the whole going to the potty thing, loves to flush the toilet, etc. She is to the point now that she won't use a little potty or even a potty seat on the big potty. She is bound and determined to be like mom and dad and just use the toilet as is and calls it a big potty.
She is in daycare twice a week and has been dry all day on 3 different occasions and has worn underwear on these days. She was lucky enough not to have to go poop on these days or she was holding it.
Yesterday, she wanted to wear her Dora underwear around the house. She has been really good about going number 1 in the toilet, but hasn't gone #2 yet. She pooped in her Dora underwear for the first time yesterday. She told me right away and also knew that I would change her right away. I've told her that Dora doesn't like to be pooped on and that if she goes poop in the potty, she'll get jelly beans like she does for #1.
I've never pressured her to go to the potty. I ask her if she wants to go and she typically says yes because she enjoys the process. Every once in a while she'll tell me no. When this happens and I know she's been dry for a few hours, I'll say that its mommy's turn to go and she'll immmediately changes her mind and wants to go and usually goes #1 successfully.
Any advice on how I can motivate my daughter to go #2 on the potty? She is physically ready and I figure if she can successfully be #1 trained, that #2 can't be in the too distant future. Her daycare has also told me she is definitely ready, but that its a control issue with her. Any success stories or advice would be appreciated.

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A.K.

answers from Eau Claire on

With my daughter is sounds like the same thing!!! I struggled for awhile with it. But I was being silly with her one day since she likes to sing so i made up a little song that if she went poop we would sing together and she could flush the toilet and it worked GREAT! no accidents after that..
The song was " I went poopie on the potty, poopie on the potty I'm so Big" and just repeated it. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from La Crosse on

How much sitting time does she get on the potty? We timed out how long our daughter usually has between #2s. when it got to be that time frame, say every 4 hours(example) we let her sit and read a book or watch a travel television for as long as she stayed patient. if she got up and had gone either she would get a treat. when she pooed she got her special poo present. All it took was that one time sitting long enough for it to happen and she realized that she could do it when she had to.

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T.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi K.,
I don't know if this will help or not, but it worked for my 2nd boy. He, too, was successful at #1 but when it came to #2 he would rather just go in his underwear than on the toilet. One day, I saw him "get into position" to go (squatting a bit, face turning red) and I grabbed him and put him on the toilet. He really didn't want to sit on the toilet, but the #2 was on it's way out and so he really didn't have much of a choice. I sat with him and held him under his armpits while he went and when he was done, he was no longer "scared" of going #2 on the toilet anymore. He was rather proud of himself. He did just fine after that and didn't go in his underwear again. I had sat him on the toilet many times before that go to #2 but he didn't until that day where I caught him just in time :-) I think for him it just took doing it once (I know, that's the hard part!) so he knew it would be OK. Maybe this will help some.
Good luck-
Tami L.

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I.L.

answers from Madison on

Maybe you could tell her she can now have jelly beans only if she goes poop since she already goes pee. We did that with my daughter and marshmallows. She didn't mind that we changed the rules a little bit.

Hope this helps!

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Since it's so early, I'd ask her if she wants to wear a diaper for pooping. Offer it now and tell her you'll put one on her anytime she wants to go poop. She'll start to get curious about going on the toilet but I really wouldn't fight this battle at 26 months. Once kids know you care about where they poop it becomes a big deal and they don't want to cooperate.

J.

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M.T.

answers from Des Moines on

I love the responses so far. I have one suggestion though. The closer it gets to time for the baby to be born, so you don't have 2 using diapers, you might want to try a little bit of "I know you are a big girl, and not a baby" thing with her. If she grasps the concept that big girls use the potty and babies go in their pants...it might just be the additional motivation she needs! I am not saying to berate her with this notion, but just maybe gently introduce the idea every once in a while. It worked wonders with my boys when they became big brothers...you know, cuz babies poop in their pants, big boys don't!!! Good luck and congrats on your soon to be new arrival!!!!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Going #2 requires a lot more understanding of the body's signals and a lot more muscle control than #1. Even think about how sometimes we feel like we need to go #2 and then it isn't quite ready. And we can almost always get #1 to come out just by relaxing even if we don't feel a strong urge.

Just keep encouraging her and it will come. With my son he complained that he couldn't feel when he had to go #2 and by the time he did, it was too late. Talking with him about the sensations he did feel was helpful for him becoming more aware, but be patient. In summary, just because a child is using the potty doesn't mean they are completely ready to be considered "potty trained". She is working hard at figuring it all out, be happy with that.

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K.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Might sound a little nasty, but if she doesn't like having the mess in her pants and wants to be cleaned up right away, don't do it. Make her wait. If you clean her up right away, she's getting immediate attention and not really absorbing the "no poop in the pants" concept. It won't hurt her, just might be alittle messier on the cleanup for you. Worked for all 4 of mine... And please don't misunderstand, I'm not talking about leaving her sit in it for a half hour, maybe just 5 minutes or so. But remember, both toilet functions are controlled by different sets of muscles. When my daughter was haivng similar problems with her son at 3, his doctor told her that he usually expects more wet accidents than solid ones, since urine can just leak or flow out, but poop usually has to be pushed to some extent, and the child should be able to feel the urge and have sufficient time to announce their need to go on the toilet. Think about it, how many times has YOUR fully trained bladder all of a sudden screamed "RIGHT NOW" and had you running for the toilet? A 2 1/2 yr old child's bladder is even more undependable, and those urges generally come at the last minute for them. So if she's able to stay dry, she should be able to feel the urge to poop coming on and get to the toilet on time. Above all, remember, patience is the key. It just takes time, every child is different and the ability to control body functions develops differently too.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son wasn't trained until age 3 and wouldn't poop in the toilet because it scared him. My pediatrician told me to sit him on the toilet with his diaper on when he had to go poop. He also told us to go shopping for a toy that would be his reward if he poooped on the toilet. He picked something out, knowing we'd go back to the store to get it once he was successfully pooping in the potty. He went A few times in his diaper while sitting on the toilet and then quickly moved onto the real deal. After he had pooped every time on the potty for a whole week we went and got his toy and that was it - he never reverted.

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S.R.

answers from Appleton on

It seems that with most children (mine included), the #2 always came later. Just be patient. She sounds like she is doing well. Keep doing what you are (it seems to be working), and it will soon come. I'm sure that by the time your little one joins the world in July, she will truly be a "big girl" and will then be ready for the "big sister" role.

"This too shall pass"

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just be patient, positive and prepared to wait. Sorry, no big success story for you here. This is a VERY common problem (you can probably look up prior postings on this website on the same topic) and both of my boys were almost 4 before they were successful. We did what one poster suggested with my older son--he wore underwear, asked for a diaper when it was time to poop, we changed him and put him back in underwear. This was suggested to us by a behavorial specialist. Whether it's a control issue or not you really don't want her to get into the habit of holding it. It can cause all kinds of problems--physical and behavorial. It's an issue we've had with my younger son for years. It sounds like you are getting an earlier start than we did so you will probably have much earlier success too, but just know you are not alone with this issue and it can take some time. Good luck.

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L.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is really common, so don't worry. This is what worked for my son.
He would wear his underwear during the day and I told him if he needed to poop he could tell me and I would put him in a pullup. Then he would have to go into the bathroom to poop. Even if he wouldn't go in the toilet, he would have to be in the bathroom. Then we'd cleanup in the bathroom, flush the poo and get back in the underwear. I bribed him with toys and candy, ect. , but I think what really worked was just being in the bathroom. I think he figured since he's going to be in there he might as well do it right.
Good luck!

J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

This may sound silly, but make sure she has something to steady herself with/put her feet on while she is pooping. she can balance hrself well enough to go potty, but imagine pushing a poop out while trying to hold on, balance yourself and not fall in! (you didnt mention i yoiu were on a potty or a toilet). Put a stool under her feet so she has some leverage. :)

J.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is a little over 2 1/2 and we are still dealing with this. She goes potty on the toilet just fine, but will not poop on it. I've posted a question on it in the past too, but most people just said give it time. That is what I'm doing.

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