Potty Training - Almost 3 Year Old Boy

Mine was close to 3 1/2 before he trained. And when he did, it took a grand total of a day.

If you miss one window, okay, so what. It only takes a few weeks or a month for another, even easier developmental window to open. It's not as though children either train at 2 or go to college in diapers.

The one general suggestion I have is to make it a game. My son was a little embarrassed to be talking about his bathroom needs, so we came up with all kinds of code words. I used my special "spy voice" and called him a "special agent" -- do NOT ask. That (and a steady supply of one Skittle per "success") sort overrode his impulse to be resistant, b/c he was caught up in the game.

It takes more than one day. You need to dedicate a,long weekend to it. Don't give up. He is way old enough to get it. Just can't be bothered. Keep at it. No pull ups at all except at night.

All 3 of mine were late to train (later than yours). Each and every time their pediatrician was not worried and said if they don't want to there is nothing you can do to make them. They'll do it when they are good and ready. No amount of bribery is going to work if they aren't ready.
Once my boys were ready it was done and over with very quickly and easily. It only took a little longer than it could have because my husband and I made them stay at each new step at least a week, if not 2 until we moved on to the next to make sure they were not going to have accidents.
Quite frankly I have a lot more important things to do with my time than lots of extra laundry, floor cleaning, furniture cleaning, setting timers so I have to drop everything I'm doing every 20 minutes to scoop up a reluctant child and sit them on a toilet. And we sure as heck are not going to put a potty in the middle of the living room floor, how gross! I also didn't want to spend all that extra money on all that extra laundry. Quickly changing a diaper is much easier until they are ready and I bet a lot cheaper than the extra laundry.
There is no "window" to be missed. When they are ready and have hit that "window" they will practically train themselves instead of you training yourself to run around after them, hoping to catch them before they make a mess.

Well you likely did miss a 'window' - the time before they turn 20-24 months and decide to be their own people. But since you can't go back in time there is not much point in worrying about that.

I would just make it a fact of life. In the morning we eat breakfast, use the toilet, brush our teeth and get dressed. I don't remember my son ever wanting to brush his teeth or get dressed - but we did it anyway. We also did NOT make it a big deal.

I would explain it to him this way. We are done with diapers (donate them). He will wear underwear (get the colorful kind he at least will want to wear) and pee and poop go in the potty. When he has accidents, he will help clean them up (not punitive, just a fact of life). Make sure he knows it takes way more time away from playing to change clothes than it does to pee in the toilet. Then remind him (ideally take him) to the potty whenever he wakes up, after each meal and if it has been a few hours since he has gone or when you notice he looks like he needs to go (the potty dance). Plan on staying home for a long weekend to get it done. No rewards, no punishment.

Honestly - most kids live up to our expectations as long as they see no reason not to. This should not be a battle of wills - it is just a fact of life. Three year olds use the toilet. Just like three year olds wear shoes to go outside and brush their teeth.

If he's willing to go or at least try at school then he's both READY and capable at home too.
Don't fall into the old "he'll go when he's ready" argument. The only reason kids today are trained later rather than earlier is because of pull ups and disposable diapers, there's nothing (well, rarely) biological about it.
Does he like to watch TV? I don't believe in punishment when it comes to potty training (or eating) but I do believe in using rewards if necessary. So make a deal, every time he goes potty, in the potty, he gets to watch 15 minutes of TV.
Seems like that would work for most stubborn three year olds.
If not TV then whatever motivates him.
I would also make sure he is cleaning up his own pee messes, rinsing his undies, cleaning the floor with a rag, etc.

You'll never win this. Parents cannot control a childs bladder.Yes, he is purposely being defiant. He doesn't hate the potty, he is showing you he is in control.

You have two options; let it go and he'll eventually do it on his own or find something that he will respond to (a toy, an outing, candy, etc). But understand the more you fight with him on this, the less likely he will do it.

One of my daughters was and is still the defiant one. She finally agreed to go on the potty 2 weeks before her 3rd birthday. She told me she wanted a booster seat like her brother. I got the booster seat and kept it in the box in the family room. That's what it took for us.

Good luck

Okay, so if he is physically able to go pee/poop at daycare, then you're probably dealing with more of an issue of him being strong willed.

When you make the decision to potty train, come hell or high water, you've got to stick with it. He has learned that if he throws a fit, then you'll back off. He apparently isn't given the option to back off at daycare, so he continues to try for them. As I say this, I DO understand how tough and frustrating it can be to potty train a willful boy!!! :) So, first thing's first, STICK WITH IT!!!

One of the things that worked well for my son was that we had to train someone else. Get a doll (you can buy a Once Upon a Potty Joshua doll that comes with his own potty chair OR just use a stuffed animal OR whatever you have). Explain to your son that "Teddy" needs to learn how to go potty, and you're hoping he can show Teddy how to go potty on his own. Instead of you asking your child to go sit on the potty, use Teddy as an excuse. "Oh! I think Teddy might need to go potty! Let's take him into the bathroom and see if he's able to go. Oh, Teddy's not sure if he can...Can YOU show him what he needs to do?" "Yay! Teddy went potty!!! Teddy gets a sticker for his potty chart. Yay, Teddy!"

I know it seems like an elaborate ruse, but it worked really well for our son. It took the pressure off of him and put it on Teddy. Plus it kind of tricked him into the process, since before he was refusing to try. Now it was more of a game and allowed him to help Teddy.

Good luck!

You have nothing to worry about...take a look at this:
http://www.babycenter.com/400_five-year-old-will-not-poop...

No window missing here. Boys who are smart are stubborn. Sometimes it ends up being peer pressure that makes them change.

You say "we" does that mean dad is trying, too? Sometimes it's all about them doing it together. Sometimes it's another boy over who asks him if he's still in a diaper.

I'd say you have, at least, 120 more clothes changes. That's why it's easier in the summer. Just keep it up.

He didn't miss any dang window. Boys are harder to train than girls, and some are stubborn. Mine was.

Bribe him. We bought Smucker's jelly beans (they're made with fruit). One jelly bean for a pee, two for a poop. Both of my boys loved getting jelly beans. ONLY give jelly beans for peeing and pooping and for NOTHING else. They're supposed to be special.

Pause for now and start again tomorrow. It's likely that he pees as soon as he wakes up or right after, so be ready to put him on the potty for a jelly bean and start the day off right. Only give him drinks with meals and snacks so you have a better idea of when he'll have to pee. If he usually poops about 30 minutes after a meal, be sure you are ready to put him on the potty then.

Really, potty training is partially about training you. :-)

I don't know. My son was trained before that age (he was done around 30 months?), and I have often wondered if late training boys have simply "missed the window" as your son's preschool teacher has suggested. I didn't have any drama with my son. No tantrums. No refusal. No nothing.

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Oh, and as for ideas? What I did was simply bribe him.
No, not some big something he wanted that he had to earn through some randomly assigned number of checks or stickers or what have you. Not a prize for 10 stickers. Not a prize for anything at the end of the week. But something for RIGHT NOW and something that involved him getting a choice.

It was simple really, but it may not work for your son. I don't know. But I bought a big bag of multicolored/fruit flavored lifesavers candies (individually wrapped). I dumped the candies into a clear ziploc bag and kept it on the kitchen counter, where he could see it but not reach it (at least not without scaling the front of the cabinets, which he could do if I wasn't watching).

Every time he used the potty successfully, after washing hands, he got to chose a candy out of the bag for immediate consumption. Every time. Didn't matter if it was bedtime. Didn't matter if it was right before dinner. It was a lifesaver. It wasn't going to spoil his meal. And if it was bedtime, we just brushed teeth again.
He LOVED getting to CHOOSE. In a way, it was an exchange of control. He went to the potty when I expected him to and in exchange, he got to choose what color/flavor candy.
After a couple of bags, I stopped buying "refills" and left only the candies that he had declined to choose (I think they were the pineapple ones, that are rather plain looking). He could still choose a candy after pottying, so I wasn't removing the reward... but he began to choose skipping the reward. And eventually, he just didn't bother to ask about it anymore.

I did the same thing with my daughter. She had a tendency to like the purple (grape) ones, while our son had liked the green (apple?) and red (cherry?) ones the best.
And I don't recall (it's been over 10 years now...) making a big deal about the bag of candies, either. Just said, hey, this is what we are going to do. He was a smart kid. And he didn't have access to a lot of candy (well, almost NONE to be exact)... and this was his ticket.
No pee, no poop, no candy. Really simple. But it isn't punitive. An accident where they run but just don't make it in time? Your call. If they really made a legit effort, I gave them candy anyway, but only AFTER they helped clean up whatever mess there was.

My 2nd child did not want to go to the potty because he couldn't bear to miss anything his older sibling was doing. So, rather than trying to make him stop playing with his brother to go into the bathroom, we brought the potty to him. Then, to get him to sit, we bribed him with screen time. At our house, playing Wii and watching TV are limited. So I put the potty in the game room in front of the Wii, and said he could play Wii while he sat on the potty (and his brother played with him). Once he started peeing while he was sitting there, we left the potty in the game room in front of the Wii, and let him hold the remote, but didn't turn it on until after he peed. It was only after he really got the hang of it that we moved him to the bathroom.

I don't know what your son's currency is (what is most important to him). Whatever it is, you need to figure out how to leverage it.

And, FWIW, my 1st son trained at 2 and half, and my 2nd son trained the month of his 3rd birthday, so I think you are right on track with timing.

I just wanted to say that daycare and home are like two different universes. It's like saying that well, you sit in a desk at work so why in the world would you want to pull off your bra and flop on the couch at home :)? He will go, but at home he isn't on, it's a chill space and maybe he hasn't realized the potty is a life skill. He may see it as a daycare thing bc others are doing it. He is very young and 3 is aVERY normal age to train. Both my older boys trained around 3, both trained easily. Hang in there, he'll put it all together soon :)

Some train sooner than others and others train later.
Our son was trained at 3 1/2.
I let daycare take the lead on it and he came home showing me what he learned to do.
The whole class went to try at the same time and they had these tiny child sized toilets which were easy for the kids to get use to.
Adult sized toilets can seem pretty intimidating when you're little.
He wore pullups at night till he woke up dry every morning for 2 solid weeks in a row - he was 7 1/2 when he finally was finished with night-time pullups.

It seems like you are getting into a power struggle with him.
The more you want him to go potty the more he doesn't want to.
Do they use 'excitement' at daycare about potty training?
Ask and/or observe what they do if you can.
It could be it's the 'making things exciting' for him that's putting too much pressure on him and he's rebelling against it.
Try keeping it low key.
Aiming in the potty is tricky at first and boys seem to want to stand to pee sooner than later.
Maybe you could let him use the bathtub.
We let our son stand in the dry bathtub and aim for the drain - then it was easy to rinse with the hand held shower.
Try to be patient.
It seems like it's taking a long time right now, but he won't be going off to college and still be in pullups.
This will pass eventually!

I don't agree that you missed your window at all, my youngest trained much later then my older child, because I let them set the pace and decide when they were ready, and they are two different kids. But, if he is throwing tantrums and purposely peeing on the floor, that is behavior I would address for sure.

The first day I put my son in underwear he had 13 accidents and was asking for his pull up back, I said no, he understands what to do and he can do it. The second day he had 2 accidents. It gets better if you just stick to your guns as long as you know they understand the basics.

You said "we" have been trying, you and father? The way we got our son to tairn was let him go to the bathroom with dad. I'm not sure how he would feel, but your son will watch him and start to mimic his actions. Could help.

I put a bag of toys on the back of the toilet. Every time my dd went in the toilet, she got a toy (I got a whole bag full at the thrift shop for practically nothing). That did the trick (she was especially scared to poop in the potty)