Son Won't Go Potty in the Toilet

try putting cherrios in the potty. boys like to shot them. Let him stand at the potty get him a stole so he can reach. Try to make it a game " How many cherrios can you shoot?" Also try M&M's after he goes in the potty he gets on. Good luck.

For my son we went with bribes...he would go on the pottychair but not in the toilet, so I would get a small toy and tell him he could only have it if he sat on the big potty...after the first one, we moved to sweet treats like m&ms...6 months later he is getting on and off the toilet by himself

Hi, J.!

I have two boys myself...both successfully potty trained. The entire process is frustrating to say the least, I know! It gets easier...hopefully I can help.

When I read your message my first thought was this....What's Daddy doing? Get him involved in this...I promise it will help immensely. Some men feel weird about peeing in front of their kid....get over it! Both my boys learned to pee standing up by watching my boyfriend. Thank goodness, because I don't do to well standing! :-)

A few tidbits of advice to try:

Control the fluids. Other than some water after hard play or a small sip here and there, limit drinks to meal and snacktimes only. Having a sippy cup to carry about all the time will hinder the process because you won't have a good idea of when he usually needs to go.

Break it down for him, step-by step. Give him a narrative example of "What to do when you go potty." Our little ones are so much smarter than we give them credit for. Let Daddy do this one. Start with "when I have to go poopy or potty I get up and go into the bathroom, open up the toilet, pull down my pants and underwear...." and so forth. While narrating Daddy can be showing him exactly what to do. Every little boy wants to be just like Daddy, so this will make him quite happy.

Schedule. Your little one won't recognize the urge to go on his own for a while. You'll have to teach him what it feels like by repetition. The first thing to do is to establish a schedule. He should go and sit on the toilet every 2 hours. Also, right before and right after nap and bedtime. It doesn't matter if he says he doesn't need to pee or not...he doesn't really know, does he? Let him have a stack of books, a few cars, anything to keep him sitting there on the potty. I'd say that he should stay for 15-20 minutes, or until he goes. Whichever comes first.

Give him some privacy. Neither of my boys would go while I was sitting there with them. On that note, make certain that your bathroom is childproofed. There are a lot of dangerous things in a bathroom and he'll be hanging out in there a lot! I bought a digital timer and set the clock for two hours, then when I sent him in I set it again for 15 minutes (still cheecking on him every so often to make sure he was still on the potty). Mount your timer right outside the bathroom and tell him what it is for. You can make it a game.

Start using Pull-Ups. I used the cheapo brand from Wal-mart. They don't absorb like a diaper, so he will feel wet if he pees in it. Diapers absorb TOO well so he can't feel if he's wet. Use the Pull ups for a while until he is peeing regularly in the toilet, then switch to "big boy underwear" during the day and use Pull ups for nap and bedtime.

If he poos in them take him and the mess in the pull up (the sides tear apart so you don't have to slide them down his legs!) and show him that all poo goes in the toilet. Plop it in there and make a big show of cleaning off the yucky poo ("ew! yucky! You don't want that on your bottom!") from his bottom and throwing the "icky, yucky, nasty" pull up out. Finally, let him flush the yucky poo down (they LOVE that!).

Let him go with Daddy. Daddy can go first and then let your little one go. Get a step-stool if he's too short to stand up and pee.

Try a target. Get a big bag of cheap-o Froot Loops and toss a couple in the toilet when he goes in with Daddy. Tell him to pee on them and see if they sink.

Bribery. It works. Find a small candy. We used jelly beans (Smucker's has a fruit based jelly bean). One jelly bean for every success. No treats for peeing anywhere except in the toilet.

Praise. OF course you already praise when he goes in the toilet, but he does need to know that peeing elsewhere is completely unacceptable. Make him stand there and watch you clean it up while you are upset. He needs to know that it IS upsetting. It's okay for you to show him this emotion...it will teach him about consequences and eventually, empathy. He SHOULD feel badly for making you clean up this mess, and he should feel badly for upsetting you. That is the consequence of his bad choice. Praise is a consequence of his good choice of going in the potty.

I hope that all of this helps. The most important item on this list is the schedule. You have to teach him what it feels like to need to go. He used to be able to go whenever, wherever. The toughest part is teaching him that "feeling." If you can get that you'll be home free!

Good luck!

C.

Hi! I just finished reading the "Everything potty training book" (although I haven't even started with my son...I'm kind of dreading it:)). But the book really stresses the importance of backing off. A lot of kids have set backs and it says to wait until they show interest again, and not to push it. SOmething might have happened to discourage his potty training. (According to this book, it can be the smallest of things...again one of the reason's I haven't started:). Is he in day care? Something could have happened there. Well, good luck to you. I'm sure I'll be writing here shortly, as soon as I brave the unknown territory. Hang in there!

I have 2 sons aged 6 and 3. Although both of them were interested in the potty around age 2, neither was potty trained until their 3rd birthday.

I pushed my 1st beginning at age 2 to become potty trained and finally he just decided on his own he was ready when he was just a few weeks away from his 3rd birthday. The day he decided, there were no more accidents, no wet sheets, nothing!

With my second, I decided to take a more laid back approach. I waited until he was a few months from his 3rd birthday and then every few days I'd ask him was he ready to be a big boy and get rid of his diapers. He always said no, until one day he said yes! We put the diapers away that daym and that was it, after 2 days and a few accidents he was trained. Like magic!

I'm a working mom too, so I understand how hard it is to do this when you are not home during the day. My advice -- wait a while -- and then when he's a big older potty training will be easier and faster!! Good luck!!

Sounds like he just needs to get back into the habit. We just had to do this too. Last Thursday I took my 2 year old with me to Walmart and it flushed while he was on the potty. The rest of the day he refused to use the potty and potty chair at home. Friday was more of the same. Saturday morning my husband was home for a change and was giving me grief about the lack of clean underpants when I realized I needed to get the kid back on schedule. I set the timer (which resets for another 20 minutes after it goes off) for 20 minutes and we took him for the first day, sent him the 2nd day and asked him if he needed to go the third. Now he's back to self service again.

My son went through the same thing. We started out with praise, kisses, hugs and high-5's. He also lost interest. Then I tried rewarding him with STICKERS. It works!!! I'd let him pick out the sticker sheets. I also made up a chore chart (ex: go potty, eat dinner, take a bath, brush teeth). When he did well, he got his choice of sticker. We'd do this Monday through Friday, then when the weekend came around, he'd get a special treat or trip if he had enough stickers. We take him to Perfect Swing or Chuck-E-Cheese. He's 3 1/2 now and still wants his stickers for doing well.

Hi J.,

I can understand your frustration. My son is 3 and he just starting controlling himself. At night I have to put a pull up on but during the day I don't have to. What I used is putting him on the toliet every 15 to 20 minutes. But I also remember that he starting potty training then decided that he didn't want to do it anymore. So I let him be when he was ready it was less stressful and frustrating.

My son is a big fan of spiderman, superman and batman so we would go to the store and we would pick him out underwear. He said that he wanted to be a big boy.

I also told him that if he went on the potty for the whole day I would give him a sucker. That also worked. I also worked fulltime when I lived back in Chgo and my husband was looking for a house out here for us to come when his job transferred. So it was like being a single mom but when I put my son in Preschool like daycare they also worked with him.

I hope that this helps out alittle.

i have a little boy too, but he's only 5 months old. Everyone has told me that boys take a lottle longer to potty train than girls. I do think that you should try and make it fun. i saw these little things at Babies R Us for potty training boys...they're like little targets that they aim for. i think they dissolve when they get hit by pee. or you could use cheerios or some other cereal.
hope this helps :)

I just went through this with my son who is now 3 1/2 and saw my brothers go through it and I will say there is no trick, no controling fluids and all that hype. Simply, every kid is different you just have to figure out what works for him. First the stickers worked then he got bored. For my son letting him pick out fun underwear and just letting him pee his pants for a while, then it started bothering him, so he would go. Ya the mess and laundry were not fun but this worked after like 2 weeks. So just try different things, this is not a science there is no right or wrong way. It will happen before you know it! Good luck and God bless

Hi J., It has been my experience that kids don't really do too well much before age three, both boys and girls. So I would just give it up until he gets closer to that age and the key is to be consistant. You don't need the added stress of cleaning up a mess and a cranky little boy and it goes MUCH easier once they decide to do it and not a second before, literally. ;)
M. B.

How does he have the opportunity to go in the closet? Does he wear regular undies, or run around naked or is he taking off a diaper? I would keep up the positive reinforcement as well as make him help clean it up. I wouldn't allow anything but diapers or pull ups until he is ready to try to properly control where he is going to pee. If he stands in the tub to do it, tell him we don't pee in the tub and take him out thus making him lose bathtime. If he is wanting to be in that tub, he will learn quickly to at least stop peeing there....my boys did. The other thing to think about is what is going on that has caused his stress about it? Is he trying to get your attention because you work out of the home and your time needs to be divided between him and his brother? If that is the case, include him more in the happenings of the baby. Otherwise is there something negative going on wherever he is being watched? Good luck!

B. :)

First of all, as positive as you are trying to be, he needs negative reinforcement when he goes places other than the potty. Make it a game of some sort. For example, keep a box of cheerios on the back of the toilet, throw in a handful and tell him to aim for the cheerios. Other than that, you might want to figure out if he was somewhere on a regular toilet and fell in, etc. and find out what is causing his sudden fear of the potty. Good luck.

Jenib

Has there been any major changes since he was potty trained?, were you a SAHM then started back to work? Did he get hurt while sitting on the potty have a bad bowel movement that hurt? If your stressing over things he may be sensing it. Have him help you clean and let him know its wrong to do potty on the floor and that it needs to be done in the toilet.

Hope that helps

G.

I have a 2 and a half year old boy, and he was so excited about the potty chair when we first brought it home, that was six months ago. He has peed in it once, and refuses to do it again, he wants to sit on the potty, but he won't go, the first time he peed in the potty, he freeked out because he thought he made a mess. so i explained he didn't that he was a big boy, i tried underwear, and he didn't respond to it as well. so i have given up for now, until he is ready, my opinion is that in situations like this, it's better to not push them to hard, let them watch you go or watch daddy stand up to pee pee, until he gets the hang of it, when he is ready, you'll know...just remember they have to learn sometimes. but boys don't care about being dirty, he obviously knows he shouldn't be peeing outside of the toilet or he wouldn't hide in the closet, i knew a friend that had a boy, and he did the same thing, helping to clean up the mess is a good idea, i guarantee after a couple times, he'll remember not to pee on the floor, but being consistent is definately the only way to teach a tolder anything. hope this helps!!

From my experience, you just need to let them decide when it's time. I know!! My 3 year old (b-day in Nov) JUST decided right after Christmas that he was ready. We worked with him for almost a year trying EVERYTHING I could think of. I researched online, asked for help and finally POOF! He just did it one day like it was no big deal. A friend of mine said that with both of her boys just after they turned 3 they just decided it was time as well. So, if I were you, I would just wait it out. I know it is sooooo frustrating because you want them to "just be done with it!" so you can move on. Good luck!! :)

J.,
I am in the middle of potty training my 2 1/2 year old son. Now I'm to the point where I need more self discipline to take him potty and he would be potty trained in no time...but with a nine month old little girl it's kinda hard so I feel your pain!! My son loved doing a potty chart. I would just make my own from construction paper and use some cheap stickers. He would put one up every time he pottied. It's worth a try!!
Good Luck
B.