Hello all. My daughter is 29 months old and was off to a great start potty training. We went several days of being dry (except for at night) and even using the potty in stores and resturants. One day she said "no more potty Mommy" and since then it has been a nightmare to get her to use the potty. We ask and ask and she just says "no thanks" and continues on her way. I have gone as far and forcing her to try and that, obviously, does not work. A very nice person emailed me the Potty Train in Three days book but I don't have the capability of devoting 3 continous days to her while I am still nursing my 9 month old and substitute teaching a few days a week. Any ideas why she decided to stop using the potty and how to get her to change her mind about it. We used rewards (M&Ms for #1 and Thomas the Trains for #2) singing and dancing when she went but I guess she is finished with all the excitment. We even tried an old fashioned training pant and she didn't seem too concerned when it ran down her leg. She just sat there and finished her dinner. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks all.
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Good Luck.
A.
I was in a similar situation with my 3 y.o. a while back. We tried rewards of all kinds, putting her in panties all day, sitting her on the potty every 15 minutes, etc, etc, etc. Then we gave up, put her back in the pull up, and waited. We continued to suggest she go potty without any pressure. When she was ready, she went. She was just stubborn and it had to happen on her timetable. This was not the advice I wanted to hear when we were trying to get her trained, but in the end it was the only thing that worked for us. Good luck.
At this point, follow her lead. Forcing the issue is going to make you frustrated and make her engage in a power struggle with you. Kids this age are all about independence and self-assertion (and saying no to the potty is part of it). Kids often need to know that, even when they assert themselves, mom and dad still love and support them. It's part of developing an "authentic self" or self trust. Don't worry, she will get potty trained.
Sometimes peer pressure is helpful. Does she go to school/daycare? Sometimes hanging around with kids who are potty trained will make the kids who are not more interested in going potty.
BTW- my son did exactly the same thing. So we just let it go for a while. Now he's 3, and even though we still have our fair share of accidents,he insists on wearing underwear all the time. He does much better at school than at home, because he goes potty with all the other "big" kids.
She's just not ready. I think it was just a fluke that she was successful, however briefly, at all. Lighten up. You're not going backward; just accepting the reality of the fact that it's just not the right time. So, give yourself a break, relax, and wait. You'll know when she's ready; and from the way it sounds, she'll be the one to tell you.
I don't know why your daughter doesn't want to use the potty, but for my daughter it was traumatic for her to actually poop in the potty. Potty training started off well, but the first time she pooped it freaked her out. She realized what she did and wailed, "I dropped it!" All progress came to a halt. It took almost 2 years to completely train her. We tried various rewards with some success but what I feel worked in the end was giving her some control as to when to use the potty. Previously, I had made it a rule that my kids were required to use the potty upon waking, before leaving the house, after returning home, before nap, etc. My daughter would throw major tantrums when I enforced it...and she wouldn't put anything in the potty. I finally started giving her choices such as, "You need to go potty this morning. Do you want to go right now before eating breakfast or after you finish breakfast?" She took to that and hasn't given me any problems since. She makes her choice and sticks to it without throwing a fit. One other thing about my daughter, she doesn't like a lot of praise for using the potty. She'll say to me before entering the bathroom, "Don't say 'good job', Mom." So I give her a quick smile or wink. GOod luck!
You might want to try a different 'reward'. My 3 year old regressed for a while there and I took her to the store and let her pick out a new reward candy and then she was fine. I think sometimes you need to change up the treats to keep them interested. Good luck!
I don't think it's at all unusual for a child to make a go at it and then back off for a time. It's like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. It might be easiest to use pull ups since she kind of already knows the drill. If she uses the potty, she can pull them down, if needed.
Let her take the lead and she'll let you know when she's ready to REALLY do it. She'll get it. Hang in there!
