My son is 3.5 and will not poop in the potty. He just won't. We've tried rewards, he won't poop for a ride on Thomas the train (2 years running), marshmallows, Lightning McQueen underwear, underwear like daddy's, or aiming at cheerios. We tried giving him cold showers, warm showers, and baths when he soils himself.
He's a bright, likeable little guy who enjoys talking, books, and playing in the yard. I hear boys are slower to potty train, but help! He can't go to Sunday School, kindergarten or mother's day out until he's potty trained.
I had this same problem! My 2 girls were easy and my boy just didn't want to poop on the potty. We tried everything and nothing worked--even though he could say whatever he wanted he could not tell us why he would not poop on the potty. We gave up completely and all the sudden at 3 and 5 months he went all by himself. We stopped getting upset and frustrated and he was potty trained.
Hi A.,
I have a 3 yr old boy as well and he will not poop in the potty either. It must be a boy thing. I have tried everything you have tried also. I spoke to his pediatrician and she said to just hang in there. She told me he will just start going on the potty when he is ready. It is frustrating I know. If I find anything that works I will let you know. Good Luck! I feel your frustration.
K.
A.,
I had the same problem with my oldest daughter. She was was tee-tee trained but would not poop on the potty. I took her to the doctor and they said she was constipated. I never thought that because a lot of her bowel movements were messy. He said some children are afraid to poop because they may have been constipated at some point and it hurt when they went. I guess because we were constantly at her, trying to reward etc. like you, it stressed her and then she began to hold her bowel movements until it constipated her. It occured to us that she although she ate a well balanced diet she ate a lot of cheese. We began to give her baby food prunes or prune juice and told her that most times it doesn't hurt to go poopy. She finally became fully potty trained at 4. By the way, she went to 3K at our church and they were supposed to be fully potty trained. I told them she was trained but she had a constipation problem and they allowed her to come. They knew she trained because she tee-teed. You might explain that. In any case, take him to the doctor or talk to him. Maybe he was constipated at some point and it hurt him when he went and he just doesn't want to experience that again. We still try to provide fiber in her diet as well as the rest of the family. Good Luck!
A. ~
I was actually glad to read your post b/c I know I'm not alone. I have a son who will be 4 in August. He's still not potty trained! He knows how to do it (My birthday was in October & he used the potty ALL DAY & said, "Happy Birthday, Mama!" each time!) We tried Cheerios, Sticker Charts, A Penny For a Small Gumball Machine we kept on the potty, Food Coloring, & Bubbles ... nothing worked. We tried switching to just underwear for TWO WEEKS ... he just went in his underwear & CHANGED HIMSELF! It was frustrating. Both my older daughter & older son were trained easily by age 2years.
We decided it was a defiance issue & DROPPED IT. In the last couple of days, our son's started putting on "Big Boy Underwear" himself & going potty - both pee & poop - a/b 90% of the time. We just hug him & tell him we're proud, then drop it.
I KNOW it's hard to hear that you just have to "let go & give up," but if your child's like mine, this may be more a/b control.
I wish you the BEST of luck & a LOT of patience. We're seeing the light @ the end of the tunnel ... hopefully you will, too, soon!
[update: we told our son that we were "Stopping the potty training" ... we showed him the drawer where his Big Boy Underwear was kept & told him it was "up to him" to use them when he wanted ... w/in ONE week, he'd put on a pair of underwear & he has NOT worn pull-ups since ... totally trained HIMSELF in a week!]
it's hard at 3 1/2 to say quit trying so hard. But generally kids will do it when they're ready and at 3 1/2 it may be more of a defiance issue to get on mom's nerves. Let him wear real underwear and not pull ups, and send him to the bathroom every hour to hour and half depending on what he's eat and drink and when. Good luck
Throw away the pull-ups and put him in real underwear 24/7. Plan to stay home for a week or so. When he makes a mess, he has to help clean it up (even the poop). Give him an immediate reward (we used lollipops because he never got to have them at other times). Put stickers on a chart and tell him when it is full, he gets to go to the toy store. It doesn't matter how long it takes to fill up (a week or a month or whatever) he can go to the toystore when it is full. Also, make sure to give him plenty of water and fruiit to help make it easier to poop. If he is constipated it will make everything more difficult.
I used the above method with my son shortly after his 3rd bday and he was trained within a week. Good luck.
Hi A.. I have a 4 year old son, and we had the same problem with him. We had worked and worked with him. We had our fourth baby in March of last year, and that made it even difficult, because he all of a sudden wanted to wear diapers again. No doubt that was for attention, so I would actually let him wear a diaper and we left him alone on the potty training. Finally close to his 4th birthday, he got up and went in the bathroom. He peed and pooped and was so proud of himself. He had made the decision all on his own! Your son may be the same way, you may just have to leave him alone and let him make the decision for himself. Hope this advice helps!
Tricia D.
Hello A., I can't promise this will work for you but what you have to do is everyday at a certain time, put him on the potty and make him sit there for awhile. After as long as you can deal with it then let him up and try it again in about 30 45 minutes and keep on until he goes. Then you have to do this everyday until he gets the point! My oldest son would wait until he went out to play to poop in his pants so I had to put him on the potty and make him sit there until he went then he got to get up and go play. After about 7-10 days that was the end of the problem. my second son wasn't as easy because he didn't care if he went outside or not so it took about 2-3 weeks for him. what it amounts to is that you have to figure out the time and put him on until he goes! Good Luck..let me know how he does.... D.
When your son is ready, I promise he will start going into the potty. You have to be patient. Keep rewarding him when he atleast tries, do not push him, and when the time is right, he will go. Usually when they start seeing other little boys go they will start. Just remember to keeping asking him if he needs to go even if it is every hour. There is a book about pottying....look for those type of things, and remember, never give up!!!
John Rosemond (johnroseman.com) recommends that you have the child clean his own underwear. Obviously he can't do a good job the point is that he faces the consequences of his actions. Why should Mommy or Daddy pay the price when he refuses to do what you ask. It should gross him out then he may stop. It's a matter of wills now. He just doesn't want to. If promising a reward doesn't do it why not take something away? "Oh, sorry, only big boys who poop in the potty get to..." Whether it's go to the park eat a special dessert or whatever. Let him miss an opportunity to do something fun instead of rewarding him when he does what you want. When you do that it's his choice to do it or not. He's not only doing what you want, he's doing what he wants as well. So make it worth it. Good luck.
I did not have as hard of a time with my son. He was completely potty trained by 3. I encountered set backs when I went back to work full time. I rewarded him just trying and that seemed to help. Think of something he really wants to do and if he goes some on there reward him. My son wanted me to play something outside and I specifically said if you go poop on your potty I will, he did. I then made up a poop/pee on the potty dance where I cheered for him and it made him happy. Positive is the way to go. My son is stubborn and difficult at times but he responded greatly to it! I tried all the other bribes from stickers to food to other things. Try doing something he really wants to do, Bowling or my son golfs something. He also loved my mother and I cheering for him. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and goal attainment. He had to do it when he was ready and suddenly I offered to do that and he said okay. Kandoo is also a great product it is like wipes, then graduate to toliet paper. It lets them have something special for just them to use. Try that puppy toliet paper too. Good luck, I am here if you have any questions!
N.
My son turned 3 in January. We went through this whole deal right before Xmas and I decided to tell him one day that Santa would bring him baby toys because that would be what he thought since he was still running around in diapers. He decided he didn't want baby toys and we went within two weeks from diapers to underwear and that was going all night in the bed with out wetting. Xmas Eve till now we have had one accident in the bed and he goes to the potty for both now. Maybe with Easter coming up you could use the Easter Bunny!
