Almost one year ago, my 2 1/2-year-old started going to the bathroom on the potty. At first, it was several times per week and she even went poop in the potty. Now, it's very sporadic and she'll sit on the toilet when she feels like it, rarely actually going pee. I've purchased different potty seats, books, let her pick her own underwear, etc. She understands the concept and will even tell me when she went so I can change her diaper, but she's very stubborn. We've tried making a habit of talking about it, asking her first thing in the morning and while she'll say yes at first, she decides she doesn't want to go when she gets close to the toilet. I've also tried the no diaper thing for several days, but she'll just mess on the floor, over and over. The timer idea for getting her on the potty, we've tried it - you're making her do something she doesn't want to do at a time she doesn't want to do it. Does anyone have any other ideas? Any good DVDs you can recommend? Our second child is due in July and I'm hoping that my toddler will figure this out soon. It's not even so much that as it's just frustrating because I feel like she knows what to do, so why isn't she just doing it?! Other people's comments don't help, either, when they keep asking why "I" haven't gotten her potty-trained yet. I feel like the more effort we've put into this historically, the more she's backed off of potty training...
She's backing off with your increased effort probably because she's not ready. She may understand the "concept" but that doesn't mean she's ready.I would tend to view her potty use at 1-1/2 as more of a fluke. I'd back off for awhile. She's still little. If she was ready it wouldn't have taken this long. Follow her lead on this. She'll potty train when she's ready, not when you're ready! LOL
Sounds to me as though she is not ready to give up being the baby. Often a child will regress when a "new" baby is added, because they can't figure out that the "old" baby is not being discarded. Maybe if you try involving her a little more in preparations for her sibling?
You are correct in assuming that the more you try to push her into this, the more she is likely to resist. Kids can only control what goes into and out of them and sometimes they use that as a weapon.
I think I would just put her back in diapers until she is ready to co-operate and not make a big deal out of it. A wise woman once told me " They are all potty trained before they get married".
You already answered your own question--she isn't ready. Many kids don't train til closer to three. I know the thought of having her trained before bringing home #2 in diapers sounded heavenly, but I wouldn't hold my breathe. Honestly holding off will probably just be easiest on you. (I know not cheaper tho) Trust me, sometime having her trained will actually be tougher at first. Just think-- when you are out with her and baby and she has to pee. And she means right that second. You will spent 75% of your time searching for the nearest potty, spend 20 minutes sanitizing it, then hold your little one over the toilet, all while balancing baby #2 on your hip! Just finding a shady spot and laying her down for a diaper change at your convenience doesn't sound so bad anymore, does it! Back off the potty talk til baby gets here and you are all adjusted to being a bigger family and her the big sister. Keep her in diapers, NOT PULLUPS, til then. Giving her pull-ups, just lets her have her cake and eat it too....she can go on the potty when she wants, and have an accident when she wants-no incentive to train to underwear and creates more accidents when you finally go to underwear. When she is well adjusted to being a big sister, around age 3, then re-introduce underwear and go cold turkey no diapers. Have her get all the diapers and give them to the baby, because she is the big sister and doesn't need them anymore. I hope this helps and don't worry mom she won't be walking down the aisle in a diaper--it will happen. Enjoy your new baby and the summer time with the kids--don't go crazy with potty training =)
I used the Three Day Potty Training Method (you can research online) but pretty much for 3-5 days my daughter only wore underwear...we didn't leave the house. I didn't while I was off work and she had a lot of accidents but I had about 21 pairs of undies ready. By the third day she was telling me. Switching back and forth is too confusing for them. it is just like when you only discipline some of the time...they learn that you sometimes give in so if you are smetimes putting diapers on and sometimes putting underwear on she knows that she doesn't HAVE to tell you because you'll put her diaper back on. There are children under 2 yrs that do this method and it works great. The only thing that didn't work for my 2 yr old was wearing underwear all night, which the method suggeested. I tried that for a week and never did it get better so I do put a "big girl pull-up" on her at night only, not even during naps because she can hold it for 2 hours. God luck and please let me know if you have any questions. Oh yes, and don't forget a LOT of positive encouragement. Good Luck!
I have no solid answers for you about potty training but I do know my 2 yr old who is not potty trained likes the video "go potty go". We got it at the library but I've also seen it at babies r us. We are about to restart our efforts with potty training. Good luck and don't fret. She will get this!
A DVD that my daughter loves is 'Potty Power'. She's been trained for 9m, and still loves to watch it and sing along.
My main suggestion is to go back to the no diapers/pull-ups during the day and just stick with it. Invest in a lot of carpet cleaner.
When my son was training, he didn't like the bathroom because it was dark and cramped. So I put the training potty in the corner of the kitchen where there was lots of light and room. He took to that better.
When she does mess, don't race to change her. Don't leave her forever, but let her feel it long enough to know that she doesn't like the feeling.
Good luck
M.
I agree with those who say put her diaper back on. It's no big deal, she just isn't ready. My guess is that once she becomes the "Big Sister", and falls in love with her baby sibling, she will wake up one day and decide she will use the potty like the Big Girl that she is [will be]. If wearing a diaper gives her some comfort until the baby arrives and becomes someone she loves and no longer fears will be taking her place, so be it. You have enough to do without adding the stress of unnecessary potty training. As you said, she understands the concept, but has a different need right now. Get her involved in decisions at her level about the baby [colors, furniture, etc.]
She's not ready. Its not her being "stubborn".... but its her body.
Toddlers, know in their heads what is going on and they may understand... but for a Toddler, 'knowing' something is NOT the same as being 'able" to do it. Thus the reason for tantrums at this age and in tandem with their emotions which are not even fully developed at this age.
Denise P. below gave good advice.
Once a child is truly "ready" for using the bathroom, they will. But even then there WILL be regressions or some days they are not perfect. And they WILL have accidents. Normal. So you have to accept that. Even 7 year olds have pee accidents.
And, keep in mind, that even if they are day-potty-trained... this does NOT mean that they are night-time potty trained. Night-time "dryness" and during naps, can even take until 7 years old. And is normal. Night time dryness is an entirely DIFFERENT ability. It is biological. Not the child being lazy.
The adult "expectations" are often too much, too soon, and expecting it to be too "perfect." Thus it does not work.
All the gadgets and gizmos will not work... if a child is not ready.
My kids, I never bribed them or punished. I just encouraged or went by their cues. My son, is 3.5 now, and only very recently has he been "ready" for pottying He even told me "IT'S MY BODY!"
Plus, you are going to have another baby. In my experience, this will not "make" an elder child potty train. They are dealing with your pregnancy and the upcoming baby and their emotions are not matured yet.
Even if a child is potty trained, seemingly... they will regress.... and this indicates in a child that they are "stressed" or unable to cope with external expectations upon them.
All the best,
Susan
Put her in real underwear, keep her home for a weekend and off the carpet/fabric furniture, and have her sit on the potty every 15-30 minutes. Kids get confused when you go back and forth between diapers and underwear. You have to commit to training and deal with some messes for a little bit. Don't chastise her, just say "opos! let's clean it up" and have her help.
Giver her all the special drinks and snacks she wants to make sure she needs to go often.
