Potty Training - Elgin,IL

This is not the way I would have done it, but it worked for us! My son was three and didn't want to use the potty. It was fall, and my dad told him that if he didn't start using the potty, Santa would bring him diapers for Christmas. I thought, oh no, how am I going to deal with that? I couldn't do that to the kid. I thought maybe I would just stick one in his stocking or something. Well, we had an early snow, and my son got excited and decided Christmas was coming. He started using the potty, right away, no more problems! He didn't want diapers from Santa ! He knew what to do, he just didn't want to do it.

Tell her to drop the subject. If there is one thing kids have control over, it's their own bodies. Tell her to stop bringing it up, to just forget about it for a while, and move on. Three is still really young and it's totally normal for kids not to be trained at that age.

Hi, K.. My son will be 4 in February and just finished potty training just before the summer started. I learned early on that we were working on his schedule, not mine. I had to back off for a while and we would talk about it from time to time, but I didn't force the issue. As part of his morning routine, though, I would put him on the toilet as soon as I woke him up in the morning so he could get used to being there.His attending daycare helped me, because he wanted to keep up with the other boys who were using the bathroom. On weekends, I would invite him throughout the day to go and gave lavish praise and plenty of high fives for every little step forward, whether it was actually going, or having a dry Pull-Up---anything.

Although grandparents mean well, they can possibly be adding stress to your friend's situation. I'd encourage her tell them that no, nothing's wrong; her child is just not ready for potty training, but they're working on it.

I hope this helps.

Sometimes it is good to move on the child's timeline but with some children they will never take that step unless you help move them along. You have to decide what type of child your friend has. My son showed no interest until one day I anounced that when the box of diapers he had was gone, there would be no more diapers during the day. I told him that diapers were expensive and I would rather use that money to buy him fun things like toys.

So we went out and bought some cloth underwear and made a big deal about wearing them and like the other poster I just kept putting him on the potty every chance I got. First thing in the morning, before a tv show, after a tv show, before we played outside, while we played outside, etc. We used jelly beans as rewards and made a big deal about it when he went. There were accidents but that was part of the process. In our case, just making the decision, explaining why, using tons of praise and sticking to it got us there.

Good luck,
H.

Hi, I had a very easy time with my son, so I don't have too much advice, but I kept a bowl of M&Ms (his fav.) and every time he went or even tried he got 2 M&Ms. He would get soo excited. Maybe she could try something like that. Wish her luck!

My little one was the same way, she wouldn't even sit on the potty. I dropped it for a couple of weeks (lots of kids aren't trained by three). I would talked about it positively during those weeks though. Then I bought and wrapped a load of "potty presents" (cars, stamps, plastic animals, etc) and put them in a bowl in the bathroom. I explained that she would get a present each time she went in the potty. I also had a small bowl of m&m's and she got one for just sitting on the potty.

It could be that the little one is just not ready - and that's perfectly okay. I second the comment that it's truly up to the child to become potty trained, not the parents.

As someone attempting to potty train a stubborn boy I really sympathize with your friend! With my older kids, it was a combination of things that got them wanting to use the potty. We'd offer candy as a reward and a big prize for making all their business in the potty for a week - like a tricycle or dance classes or train ride. It was something only big kids who make in the potty could do. Something they really wanted to do or have. For this guy, who is obsessed with bicycles "bi-dih-duhls!" he knows if he goes in the potty he'll get one. When I ask does he have to go potty he says bicycle! It's hysterical, but he's so stubborn he still will run away when I ask him if he has to go. aye aye aye! I won't force the issue, I just offer when I think he has to go & when I catch him going I'll put him on there to finish up.

Good luck to your friend.

D.

Hey K.,
I didn't start trying to train my son until he was over 3 1/2. Kids go through alot of developmental changes around this age and pushing them to use the potty can be very stressful for them. I would tell your friend that she should wait.
Usually the child will show signs of rediness. Like waking up dry. My son had an easier time with pee, but it took a while for poop. All and all it took me about 8 months to train him fully. The following is what worked for me, but like I said- pushing the child before he/she is completely ready can only cause stress and anxiety for both child and parent.
So as I said, I waited until my son was 3 1/2 to start. We put together a sticker chart to just get him acclamated with the potty process- not to actually go. He was still wearing diapers, but 4 times a day we would put him on the potty. He got 1 sticker for coming into the bathroom, one for taking off his diaper, one for sitting for one minute, one laying down so we could put his diaper back on and 1 for washing his hands. If he got all 5 stickers then he could have a cookie (we used animal crackers and swedish fish).
We did that for two months. Then we knew he was used to the process and could do it by himself- as long as there were no zippers or buttons on his pants. So we set a timer and when it went off we said it was potty break time. If he gave us a hard time, or if he refused to participate willingly then he didn't get the sticker and then at the end he didn't get the cookie. This only happened a few times. After that he knew that he wanted that cookie and that he had to do all 5 things by himself to get it. We did this for another month.
After that I got some M&M's and told him 3 for pee and 5 for poop. This worked for pee, but not for poop. So I went and got some dollar store toys and wrapped them up and told him he could pick out a toy every time he went poop on the potty. That worked awesome. In the beginning though I was putting his potty behind a chair in the livingroom cause that's where he did most of his diaper pooping. I woud encourage him to sit on the potty behind the chair with the diaper on so that he could get used to pooping sitting down. His teacher told me that developmentally they have to get used to sitting rather than standing up when going. We did the dollar store toys for about two weeks and then faded them out and praised tons instead.
Also, when we were at home I put underpants on him- usually something that he's into- Wall-E or Buzz Lightyear, etc.. We had a few accidents, but I think that's all part of the process of them getting in tune with what's going on down there. The diapers we have today are so absorbent that I doubt they actually feel that they're going.
He's almost 5, but still needs help wiping and we still do a pull up at bedtime. Its definately a process, as you know but I think patience and compassion are the keys. I hope that helps. :)
Blessings,
J.

Tell the grandparents that the only thing wrong are family members who don't mind their own business. I have an almost five-year-old girl who will not go to the toilet independently to pee (strangely, she will poop on the toilet by herself - hey, I'm not complaining!). I get snotty comments all the time from her grandmothers about her not being trained. I remind them that we're working on it and they can either focus on the progress she is making or keep going on about what a pity it is that most mothers of kids her age already have this behind them.

Plus, three years old is still kind of young. Plenty of kids are still "working on it" at that age - and if not being ready is part of your friend's kid's process, so be it.

I suggest the following resources...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az7.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az24.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az36.asp

http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/

I hope that this can help her.

Best wishes,
J.

My oldest son was almost 4 before it happened. We couldn't send him to 3 year old preschool because they only accepted potty-trained kids, but we found some other classes and he did it on his own time. My other son was 3-1/2 and only did it because he was starting preschool and had to wear just underwear or old-fashioned plastic pants over the underwear (no pull-ups). You don't mention whether the child is a boy, but in my experience, it takes them longer. It helped to tell the grandparents that the diapers and pull-ups are so comfortable these days that the kids aren't in as much of a rush. When we were kids, cloth diapers were difficult to use and felt really bad when wet. I imagine the early disposables of the 70s weren't that absorbant either. Wish your friend luck, and let her know that they'll all have an easier time if they give the child some say in the timing.

Tell your friend "readiness for the child" is the most important part of potty training. But in case mom is determined, then first step is to condition the mind of the child, talking about potty training. Take at least two weeks to tell him we are going to start potty training. Tell the child about underwear and how cool are they and every one has to use them. If possible potty training video's( you should be able to find it free on some websites or even utube)will add to his readiness. Another way of telling him about potty training is to let your child, watch other members of the family go to the wash room and use potty. Parent, are the best examples of it, as they know how to act when doing it for the child to copy ( step by step).

Make sure, child observes same sex parent. otherwise, child will get more confuse about body parts

All this with some warming motivational talk to the child will make him ready and then start it.

Hope this works.