Potty Training - Ionia,MI

C. C

At the age of 3, I'm going to assume that he's pretty verbal. He's told you already that he's scared of the poo in the potty. Fear is a really strong deterrent to do anything, and what seems silly to us may be very real to him. If I were you, I'd try to dig a little deeper with him. Find out what about it is scary, and then try to squelch that fear once you know what it is. You might even try emptying the dirty diaper in the toilet to show him that all it does is sit in the water until it is flushed. Let him flush it down to make it all gone.

Good Luck!!
K.

My son learned to pee in the potty in less than 2 days, but would hide in the corner to poo and then come and tell me afterwards. I found that the only thing that worked for poo was downright bribery. I took him to the store and let him pick out a toy that he wanted. We put it back on the shelf and I told him after he went poo in the potty 3 times, we would go back to the store and get it. We went back in 4 days. It worked like a charm. Good luck!

I know this sounds horrible. But is there anything he eats that makes it soft or "the runs". Then rush him in there put him on the potty. my son was afraid of splashing. lol WE gave him loose bowels and suddenly after that it didnt seem so scary. He was fine after that. Have Fun!

I am not sure how to advise you on this one because my 3.5 year old has the same fear. He's afraid he'll go down the potty with the poopie. I am working on trying to get him to use the potty chair to poop if he cannot handle the big potty for this. He will only stand up to pee at the toilet.
Good luck.

Hello Cindy:

My son did the exact same thing at the exact same age. I made the mistake of not giving him a diaper for a week! He became constipted and it was awful. The advice from my pediatrican was to just give him the diaper. I was worried at the time that he would never have any motivation to go in the potty. But, the doctor told me eventually he would. Just relax and don't worry about it. Keep giving him the diaper, and every once in a while you can suggest he may want to try the potty. One day he'll surprise you and actually do it. Good luck!

It takes time - keep doing ehat your doing. You can also try taking his little kid potty out of the bathroom and having him sit on it in a different room or while watching TV. Change of environment sometimes helps.

Good luck!

I had the same problem when my little guy was 3 and learning. It is a little bit of a control thing too because he can not poo or he can poo. What I did was take his favorite thing (for mine it was a game) he could not play it until he pooed. He would go and force some out just so he could go play with it. Something like that might work.

Hello C.

My duaghter did that for a long time! I thought she would never poop in the pot. When she had to poop she would ask for a diaper and if you didn't give it to her then she wouldn't poop. So I gave in. Finally about 2 months ago I started telling her once she turned 4 that was it no more diapers at all! Then out of no where about 3 weeks ago she started asking me if she was 4 yet and that. I told her almost. And then as I was leaving she went into the bathroom and closed the door (something she doesn't do, but I didn't think anything of it) and then my husband called and said that she had pooped in the pot all by herslef! And ever since then she goes when she has too. You just have to let them deside when they are ready to go! It will happen.
Good Luck

Hi Cindy,
This is probably going to sound strange, but when your a mom with a child having this difficulty you get creative. My son was 3 1/2 and would not go #2 either. He absolutly loved match box cars, so I created the poo poo fairy. I went out and bought a bunch of match box cars (very inexspensive)and would wrap them. I told my son that everytime he went #2 in the potty that the poo poo fairy would leave him a gift. And sure enough he would go and I would put a wrapped car on his bed so that when he was done we could go see what she had left. He loved it and we had no further problems with him not wanting to use the potty. It of course just became habit that eventually she faded away. So maybe this is something you could try. Best of luck.

L. T.

My daughter had a hard time pooping on the potty, too. Here are a couple of tips that I have heard:

Have him ask you for a diaper when he needs to poop. (This avoids constipation with him holding it for three days.)

Try having him wear a diaper to poop, but sitting on the potty at the same time. When he's done, put the poop into the potty (shake the diaper upside down over the potty - most of it will come out) and have him flush it. This will help him associate pooping with the potty.

After a few times, he may be ready to try it without the diaper. If not, you can cut a hole in the diaper and have him still wear a diaper, but the poop still goes in the potty.

Another idea is to find something he would really like and tell him it is a reward for pooping on the potty (without a diaper on). That may motivate him to face his fear.

Good luck! Potty training can be SO frustrating!!

My mom said I was the same way at 3. I went a few days, so she gave me an enema and it was never a problem after that. I guess I didn't want to get that enema again.

I agree that you shouldn't push the issue of pooping on the potty. As much as you want him to get past it right now, the more you try to force him, the longer it will take. I would say even back off for a week, giving him the diaper and not mentioning pooping on the potty at all...give him a chance to reset his brain on the issue. Then start slowly. Try to find out why he's scared, and (if you don't already) the adults in his life should talk about how they poop in the potty. Just in passing so that he starts to understand how normal and "everyday" it is. He should be allowed to come into the bathroom with you when you go (or mom and dad). My husband is uncomfortable with that idea and won't do it, but I'm ok with it, and I think that's why my son never really expressed fear. Then it's a motivation issue. My son loves little match-box type cars, and we would put one out where he could see it and tell him that it was his prize for pooping on the potty. Worked like a charm.

I love the idea of encouraging him to poop on the potty with a diaper on to help with the fear. It sounds like a good transition step.

Good luck!

Find out why he's afraid to deposit poop in the pot. Try and get across it's perfectly okay and if he doesn't it isn't going to make him feel good (he'll get ill from holding it in too long and it potentially has the "coming out party" in the form of the runs.

He's 3. But if he's able to say he doesn't want to poop in the john, he's able to tell you why too. Just ask him.

My son had the same problem. Here's what worked....

He has this teddy bear that he's in love with, so what I did was take the bear and placed him on the potty (we had one of those kids potty's) I had in my hand some raisins (of course he didn't know this) and put the raisins in the potty and made it appear that the bear went poop. He was shocked. I showed the bear and extreme amount of praise and even gave the bear a starburst. I showed my son how we take that "poop" and put it in the toilet and then wave bye bye to the poop as it flushes down the toilet. I even told him that the poop goes down the tunnel in the toilet to join with all his poop friends. Gross i know, but he thought it was hilarious and it took the fear away. Of course i had to do this raisin thing a few times before he did it. And let me tell you, we had a party as soon as he did it. It worked like a charm.

good luck.

Dear C. C.,

I have never had this problem personally, but I was wondering as I read this, if it would help to ask your grandson what it is about pooping in the toilet or potty chair toilet that scares him exactly. Perhaps if you ask him lots of questions, you can determine exactly what it is that scares him so much and change it so he is not scared and can begin to poop inside the toilet.

Sometimes little ones perceive things so differently from us as adults and we don't know it if we don't ask the right questions. They don't see/hear things the same way we do and it has been so long since we were that little that we don't remember all that stuff.

L. C.

my daughter was potty trained around 2 1/2 but it wasn't untill after she turned 3 she pooped on the toilet. she never had an accident and one day we were outside and i had her little toilet outside and she pooped in it. it will happen on its own, i know it feels like it won't but i went through the same thing and we got through it

Hi Cindy,

My SIL had the same problem with my nephew. He'd go in his underwear if she didn't catch him first and drag him to the potty. They came to our house for a weekend, and I told him I had a magic potty - when you poop in it, the water turns colors. He got on the potty and pooped, so we told him to lean forward so we could check. Then we snuck a couple drops of food coloring in there, so the water turned green when he flushed. Just a fun way of getting them excited about the potty :)

Good Luck
A.

We made a bit of a game of the doo-doo going plop. Now my daughter takes her toys to the potty and says doo, doo, doo, doo, plop. We still count the plops. Not something we want to do forever, but it works for now. Good luck.

There are a lot of reassuring books and videos out on potty-training. This won't last long. He needs to feel safe and in charge of this. Let him talk about it and take his time.

My son was 2 and 1/2 when he potty trained. He caught on to peeing on the potty almost instantly. However, the poo thing was elusive to us too! Finally, one day he said to me. Mama, I don't like poo going to basement. He thought that when we flushed it down it went into our basement! Of course, we had a laundry shoot that when you put clothes down it they went into the basement so he assumed poop did too! I just love how their little minds work! So, we talked that poop goes in the tunnel and rides it down like a slide to the sewer where all the dirty stuff goes to get clean. That was good enough for him and we didn't have much of a problem after that! Figure out why he's scared and what he's thinking, it may surprise you!

since it is summer, it's the perfect time to let him run arond 1/2 naked (in the house). get a little potty chair for him to sit on when he has to go. not the kind that sits on top of the toilet. I think they feel funny to let it drop sucha distance and maybe get a wet splash. It worked for us.
P.