Potty Training - New Baden,IL

Updated on February 02, 2010
M.R. asks from New Baden, IL
12 answers

Hi mama's!! My son is over 3 and we have been working on potty training for a while. My husband is bound and determined he is going to get potty trained and I am wondering if he is maybe just not ready. When you ask him if he wants to sit on the potty or if he needs to go he always says no and usually does not even want to sit on the pot but if you make him sit on the pot he will usually go but we can't seem to get him to tell us when he needs to go and if you don't take him and he has big boy pants on he will just go in his pants. Does anyone have any advice? Are we rushing something that maybe he is not ready to do or what should we do next? Thank you in advance!!!

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K.G.

answers from Wichita on

It sounds like he's not scared of the potty, which is good. With my three-year-old, I eventually had to just bite the bullet and put him in the thick cotton training pants. If he did have an accident, I wouldn't get mad, but I would tell him that he was too old to be going in his pants and I would stand him in the bathroom for a few minutes before changing him. Again, I WASN'T MAD and didn't punish him ~it wasn't "time out"~ or speak sternly as if he had done something bad. I was just very matter of fact that he was too old for this and that I didn't have time to clean him up just then. I would go do something for only a minute or two, but he didn't like standing in his wet clothes. I would remind him that if he just went in the toilet, he wouldn't have to be in wet clothes.

I only resorted to this after trying everything else, and I still took him to the bathroom often throughout the day and reminded him to go. I just think he didn't mind his diapers. They are so absorbent that they weren't uncomfortable to him, so he wasn't very motivated to go in the toilet (and yes, we also did M&Ms and a sticker chart). Once he was uncomfortable, he was trained in a couple days. I think he only had 3-4 accidents. Good luck... I know it's frustrating!

More Answers

D.B.

answers from Wichita on

Sue H has it right! Don't give him a choice of yes or no. You need to take a little more control of the situation and you also need to implement a reward system so he'll be inspired to go to the potty. You need to make him go quite often especially after he's had a meal or drink. My kids usually have to go potty within 30 to 45 minutes after a meal or drink. You don't want to be negative about the potty training but you also have to explain to him that he's too old to be wearing diapers and to be "going" in his underwear. Be consistent and don't give up.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Very Important Lesson in Parenting: no matter what you want, your child will do it in his own time/way.

Next Very Important Lesson: NEVER, EVER ask a "yes" or "no" question! Simply state your intention...."it is time to try the potty". ..... as opposed to "do you want to potty?". Always be in charge!

Kids will nail you everytime & chose the answer you do NOT want.

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B.K.

answers from New York on

Boys are tough! My son was around 3 when we started potty training him. You will know he is ready if he stays dry and night and his diaper stays dry for a while. Boys usually take long than girls to train for some reason.
My son didn't want to sit on the potty at all. I was anti bribery for a while then gave in. At first bribery with raisins worked, then I had to switch to M&M's. I didn't do it all that often though.
After your son has had his breakfast wait about 20- 30 mintues, then have him sit on the potty. He should be ready to go about then.
It's definitely not easy. I also trained my son in the summer, so letting him run around in underwear or naked helped because he soon realized that HE didn't want to pee on himself.
I feel your pain though. My son took a while. Especially with #2.
Don't force it though and make it a bad thing, just be patient and consistent.
Good luck!

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

first i would start taking him regularly, once an hour or so, and yes, reward results only. we used m&m's at first but then he started going more regularly so we went with a sticker chart. don't ask him, tell him he needs to go sit on it. reinforce good behavior and show how disappointed you are when he has an accident. don't make it personal, i.e. you're a bad boy if you don't, just make it natural consequences. when you do it right, you get a reward. when you do it wrong, it makes mommy so sad :( he will figure it out if you're consistent.

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K.J.

answers from St. Louis on

my son is almost 3 and we were going through the same thing. I ended up setting a timer for every 20 minutes one day and made a big deal about getting on the potty before the beeps stopped. He seemed to think it was a fun game and he got 2 m&m's if he went potty. if he didn't I just thanked him for trying and made a big deal of it. he started telling me after a while that when he hear beeps he was going to go potty. I was surprised! It seemed to help so fast with him. I started the next day stretching out the time on the timer to a more appropriate length of time, based on how often he went the day before. It was about 40-50 min. It just took a few days then he was going on his own without the timer. we are still working on pooping on the potty but that is starting to make sense for him now too. Hope this helps. You'll still be washing out pants a lot at first so make sure you have plenty of underpants.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

A 3 year old boy is old enough to learn to go to the bathroom. Having said that I have who won't go either. He has made remarkable progrees since we started giving him jelly beans when he goes. 1 for pee and 2 for pooh. We get rewards for doing things, kids should too. Not bribes, dont say "if you go potty I'll give you .....this or that, just say when he actually goes in the potty "what a good job, here, have a jelly bean". We keep them up high in the bathroom on the shelf over the toilet. You can get the little rubbermaid bowls with lids for just about $2.00 at Wal-Mart, they even have some in the infant department made for carrying snacks in the diaper bag, by the tippy cups.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Make it fun for him - put a few cherios in the toilet and have him aim for them!

On the serious side, consistency is key. Stay patient, and set up a routine, start in the morning, then mid-morning, then after lunch, you get the idea. This way, he knows what's coming rather than parking him on the toilet at random times.

Good luck! This too, shall pass! (no pun intended...)

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C.D.

answers from St. Louis on

He may not be ready yet, and if you're trying to push it too much, he knows he's in control of this. My daughter wasn't ready until after 3 when it was time to go to preschool...she didn't really start trying until 3 weeks before school...and did fine by the time school started. But we got her the potty before she turned two and it was a very long process. If I had it to do again, I'd introduce it and then let her take the lead. We tried sticker charts, prizes, everything, and none of it worked very long. In the end they have to decide they want to do it, and maybe he can't tell yet when he needs to go.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

some you can ask, others you have to TELL. my first is now 6.5 and we must still TELL him to go pee!
my second is 3.5 and he knows to go!
they are all different.
do not ask! TELL.
reward when he tells you, rather than you telling him.
he is READY.

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Every kid is different and doesn it at different times, but make sure you and your husband don't get frustrated with him. Make him feel like he's a little champ when he does do it and like it's not a big deal when he has an accident.

Have you tried giving him a reward for using the potty? I potty trained my oldest right at 24 months and my youngest is 22 months and she's working on it now. We don't give the girls a lot of candy, but she gets four (4) M&Ms when she uses the potty. She also gets to tell her sissy and Daddy that she used the potty (that and their excitement is more exciting for her than the M&Ms).

When we potty trained our oldest, I read a book called Potty Training in 3 Days (or something like that) from the library. It was great. Our daughter was almost 2 and we did it on vacation so when we came home she wasn't totally potty trained but she was well on her way. It only took a short while longer before she was done.

Good luck!

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H.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We used a sticker chart, which help because we could both see the progress made over weeks (the beginning of the chart is kind of bare, and the last days of the 5th week are pretty full of stickers). Once we were done with the charts and reached a agreed upon level of success (no accidents in underwear and willingness to go) the charts were 'sold' to a potty fairy for a toy. I will just say that with some boys, running around naked is not a motivating factor, since it doesn't 'run down their legs' like it does for girls.

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