Potty Training - Saint Paul,MN

Updated on August 24, 2009
B.W. asks from Saint Paul, MN
11 answers

I can't seem to get my toddler to poop on the potty. I have been hearing that this is very common but I want to know what other moms did in this situation. She's almost pee trained and tells us when she has to go, she even tells us when she has to poo but won't let us put her on the potty to do it. I have tried asking her why (not sure she understands) she won't poop on the potty. She asks for a diaper when she has to go so she doesn't have to go in her undies and I'm not sure what to do next. She doesn't go for sticker charts or bribes...we've tried all that. She just screams when we put her on the potty to poop and holds it in. We usually put her on her training potty but we've also tried the big people potty which she sometimes likes but not to go poo.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just entering this phase myself so don't have any personal advice... but I will tell you my neighbors daughter went thru this same phase... peed fine on the potty but would ask for a pull up to poop.. she has since worked out of that - it just took a lot of patience ( and about 6 mos)on the moms part! Good luck.

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C.K.

answers from Madison on

Hi B.,
Not everything works for every child, but I will tell you what we did. When our 2-year-old asked for a diaper to poop in, we obliged for a couple months. He was already pee trained, including at night. At one point I decided it was time to force the issue (we had a newborn at home). We just started saying no when he wanted a diaper. He is just as stubborn as we are, so he would go a few days holding his poop when we knew he had to go. He would hold it so long that he'd barely make it to the toilet (and had about 2 or 3 floor accidents), but he would use the toilet because his bowel movement was very imminent. THen he would see how "easy" it was. We rewarded him with a sweet treat every time he went on the toilet or even put in a good faith effort. As time went on, he spent less time thinking about and arguing about using the toilet to go #2 especially since we were totally consistent once my husband and I decided it was time. Most people give in and I don't fault them for it.

One day he had a stomach bug. That was a turning point because he had no time to argue or hold his poop. So getting ill was a blessing in disguise. Obviously you can't predict a stomach virus, however I hav heard that others have had success toilet training at times like that. Unfortunately, most toddlers get nasty stomach viruses once or twice, esp. those in daycare, so if you're lucky (or unlucky however you want to see it)...

Oh, and I should say that our ped had us give him a little Miralax (other things work as well such as prunes, etc) to soften his stool since having big hard stools deters little ones from wanting to go. Make sure you check with a professional of course.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

You are the parent.. you need to take control. Your daughter is controlling you about when & where she will go. My youngest son tried this and I was just as adament as he was. He was put on the potty (chair) until he did his business. There was no stickers.. no awards. I don't feel awards should be given for a natural process. Bribing your child is not going to be good in the future. Be strong and patient and let him scream all he wants. But simply say.. You will not get a diaper to go poo.. you will go poo in the toliet.. period. No yelling no screaming just be direct. If he has an accident don't make a big deal about it.. clean him up and proceed to the next time. He will learn in short time what is expected of him.

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M.G.

answers from Fargo on

We are still potty training our 3 year old. He is almost there, not quite. The funny thing with him is that he is absolutely against any poo in the pants and will make sure to make it to the toilet, but peeing is completely a hit and miss. It all depends on his mood.
What I have heard from others is that a lot of times children do that because it is a form of control. It is one of the very few things that they, themselves, have total control over. It's not like you can force them to do it. It's a struggle for independence (so to speak). I've also heard that by putting the contents of the diaper into the toilet and having them flush it down, helps. Don't know, as I said, we are fortunate to not have THAT problem, just the opposite!
Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from La Crosse on

When we were first potty training, there were a few times when I was pretty sure my son had to poop, but he didn't want to go on the potty. Instead of making it a big power struggle, I'd tell him things like, "Well after you poop on the potty THEN we can go outside." "After you poop on the potty THEN we can watch that movie."
It seemed to work pretty well. It let him be in control of when he pooped, but also let him know that if he did, he'd get to do something fun. Stickers and all that didnt' really work for us, and he pee trained in a matter of days. I was worried about the poop thing becoming an issue but it never was for us.
Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

You really just have to wait until she decides she is ready to poop on the potty. Give her a diaper, like she's asking you to. In time she will decide to use the potty. You don't want to force the issue if she is becoming upset. She will hold it in and become constipated.

My two daughters were both like that. My last one peed on the potty long before she would poop. It took about six months for her to decide she was ready to poop on the potty. (At least your daughter asks you for a diaper. Mine used to poop in her underwear, Yuck!!!) No reward system, treats or special present worked for us either. Just be patient with her and don't force the issue.

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My twins didn't want to be potty trained just a few months ago (they just turned 4). Well my one daughter was easy to train a couple of accidents and she had it down pact, my other daughter did good the first day but then asked to be put back into a pullup and I let her. Well a couple weeks later and a little jealousy bug about one getting stickers and the other one not she told me one day mommy I want to wear panties and we have been like that ever since - the amzazing thing from her is she has had no accidents.

Good Luck it will come sooner or later,

M.

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K.P.

answers from Fargo on

You are doing all the right things.

One thing is important to remember, it is UP TO HER when she decides to go on the potty. When she is ready, she will do it. Some people seem to have luck in "training" their kids, but I think it is really more of a coincidence. When they start doing what you are doing with your daughter, their kids are ready.

Don't worry. She won't graduate from high school in diapers...

p.s. don't let anyone make you feel bad for what you are doing. You are doing great!

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J.O.

answers from Wausau on

You could do what I did- take all the pressure off. Just give her a diaper when she requests it. Soon enough, she will want to be done with diapers altogether. It's hard waiting, but worth not pushing the issue, IMHO.

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J.N.

answers from Lincoln on

I had the same exact problem with my son when he was 2,he is 3 now. Honestly dnt stress she eventually will do it on her own. He just decided one day to do it and has ever since. Encourage it but don't force it. She sounds just like my son knows when she has to go, so she knows and when she is ready to take that step she will. I promise you she will just one day suorise you!!!

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J.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm having toilet training issues of my own, with a very stubborn little boy, so I did a bunch of reading. Interestingly, I read about how some kids have a sensory issue when it comes to pooping. Either they don't like the sensation of the poop "falling" out of them or they get some comfort from the pressure provided by their diaper when they go. One of the techniques I learned was cutting a small slit in the child's diaper and then leaving the diaper on when setting him or her on the toilet. That way, they get the idea of pooping in the toilet, but it feels more familiar and at least some of the poop ends up where it's supposed to go.

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