Potty Training - Ortonville,MI

Updated on May 28, 2011
N.S. asks from Ortonville, MI
14 answers

My son is 22months old and is showing signs of wanting to potty train. Sits on the potty, able to pull pants up and down, doesn't seem to want to wear diapers. So I've 'gone with the flow' and sit with him, read books, etc.

My question is, should I start promting him to sit on the potty and get into a routine? As in, should I have him sit on the potty when he wakes up, after his sippy cup, before nap/bed, before getting into the car? I don't want to overwhelm him, just wondering what other moms have tried and if it was successful.

My daughter showed interest at the same age and we blew it off because I was pregnant and didn't want to deal with it at the time. Then it seemed to take a whole year to potty train her. So I felt like we missed the window. Again, I'm pregnant, but maybe it's worth the effort and planning at this point???? Let's hear it. BTW, I just need to hear about your experiences and not your judgement on whether you think I'm a good or bad mom. Thanks Moms!

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

Before you start prompting him or doing a routine I'd HIGHLY recommend you use the 3 day potting training method (http://www.3daypottytraining.com/pages/help.htm?official). It worked really well, its intensive, but really takes away the confusion that many kids get with a more drawn out child lead program. BTW she says 22 months is a perfect age to start, so you're not too early!! Its totally worth the $25 for the ebook, and you get online help if you get stuck as well. I had used a different method that had set times for sitting child on potty, and it did not work with my daughter at all. This one did.

Best wishes!

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

My son did this at 18 months; I had a friend whose son was 6 months older and had done the same thing and she ignored it and told me that I should capitalize on his interest because she regretted not doing it. We "potty trained" our son in a week. We just set a timer for every 15 minutes the first day, 30 minutes the second etc and put him in underwear. We went to the library and got a ton of books about busses (his favorite) and read a lot on the potty. He has a laid back personality so it really was pretty easy. He got it pretty fast and that was that. There are all sorts of moms who say that he wasn't potty trained because 1) I had to remind him to sit on the potty for the next year, about once every 3 hours...essentially before all meals/naps and before we left the house 2) he didn't stay dry during naps or at bedtime, but we just put a diaper on him--he's almost 4 and still not dry at night so I'm glad I didn't wait for that milestone 3) he's "too young" to really be potty trained 4) He couldn't pull down his own pants

But, I didn't really care. At the time I knew only two other moms and none of my friends had kids (I am an academic who had kids while in grad school, we're kind of rare) so I didn't know it wasn't normal--I just knew that eventually they had to use the potty so 18 months seemed like as good of time as any. I literally had no idea that it wasn't typical so that obviously affected how I went about it; I didn't have the baggage of not knowing that I was "pushing him." It was seriously easy. Everyone in our family is pretty laid back so there were some accidents, but it didn't bother me or his dad; and our boy is happy-go-lucky so I think the stars aligned.

Honestly, after reading some judgy posts on her about early potty trainers I started researching and clearly our vision of what is appropriate has changed through time and varies across cultures so I think the idea that no child is ready to potty train till 3 is ridiculous and honestly I think the signs of readiness are even somewhat problematic. I say capitalize on this moment and if it works great and if it doesn't there's nothing lost. We have a very loving, positive home and was approached potty-training from that perspective too. If it had become too unpleasant or stressful for our son we would have quit, but he seemed to like the process. Just make it fun. If he doesn't want to sit on the potty suggest he take his toys to sit there instead or race him to the potty and see who can get there first!

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son started showing interest at about 20 months and we went for it. I felt like he "got it" after 3 days, but we still had accidents every couple of days and sometimes we had a day with 3 or 4 accidents. By 21 months we rarely had accidents at home and he is now 25 months and he still has 2-3 per week at school (usually because he's having too much fun playing to tell them and then on the way to the bathroom he has an accident). I can tell you what we did and it worked well for us.

We talked up the getting rid of diapers for about a week and then on the big day it was just me and him-with me focused on him all day. He got to run around naked and have as much juice as he wanted (but I didn't force him to drink or anything). As soon as he would start to go I'd say "Pee pee goes in the potty" and move him to the potty. In order for this to work you have to be with him all day-no phone, no computer, no in depth cooking, etc. The first time I think nothing went in, the second time about half and so on, but by noon he was telling me potty with about 5-10 seconds of warning. He got a diaper at nap and bedtime, but no other times. We put him in just pants for the first few weeks because I read that underwear can confuse them, plus it takes less time to pull down just pants and it feels much worse if you have an accident without underwear on. We didn't do rewards other than lots of praise for how much of a big boy he was and how proud of him we were and we did not ever punish him for accidents. I also never made him sit for more than about 5 seconds, it just frustrated both of us. I would tell him it was time to try and we had to count to 5, if he didn't go I just assumed he didn't have to because the hurdle for us was definitely getting him to leave his toys and sit down.

As far as the baby goes I haven't been in your situation, but a friend of mine just went through it. Her daughter had been trained for about 4 months and regressed when the baby was born. They didn't make an issue of it and just put her in a pull up so that she could take it off and go if she wanted. After about 3 weeks things normalized a bit and she is right back where she was. My friend said she is glad they did it before the baby came because she is so tired and much more busy now than she was 5 months ago.

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A.N.

answers from Detroit on

i say go for it but just know that he may regress when the baby comes.

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L.L.

answers from Detroit on

I say go with it. It is not too early if he shows interest. However, it may be just a brief interest so do not despair if he has many accidents and goes back into diapers. This can happen. My youngest children were completely trained by 2 and 2-1/2, one boy, one girl. We just needed the right carrot. My son just did not want the diapers anymore and younger cousins kept saying do not wet in my presence when he was getting dressed and running around the house butt naked. My little girl wanted to sleep at a relative's house and could not until she was potty trained. That was all it took. We were done in a very short time with diapers and there were very, very few accidents.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

My son started to show interest around the same time, so we went out and bought a little potty and just put it in the bathroom. If he wanted to sit on it, great. If not, no big deal. I noticed that he consistently had to tinkle the MINUTE he got into the bathtub, so I would have him sit on the potty before getting in and he would go each time, but not even close to potty training!

He will be 3 this weekend and we actually "potty trained" last month. He was interested last year, but not actually capable of monitoring himself and when he had to "go" until this spring. I asked the pediatrician and his "rule of thumb" is to actively potty train when they can go 2 hours b/w wet diapers and wake up from a nap dry. When he showed those "signs", not just "interest" I took a week off of work and that's really all it took.

If HE is ready, potty training won't take you more than a week. If he's not actually ready (different than interested) it will take you forever.

E.G.

answers from Daytona Beach on

When my kids "showed signs" I bought the cheepest diaper possible and asked them often if they had to go potty, no routine. We went to every public potty there was because they wanted to see and use it. Worked both times. We never used pullups and very little used training pants.

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B.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I would start prompting a little bit especially at key times like before bed and as soon as he wakes up. But if he starts to resist it at all then back off quickly and go back to just following his lead. One of mine showed interest but the moment that I started prompting it, she pulled back and quit completely. So I just gave up completely. I wish that I had gone back to following her lead instead of quitting as we may have had more success. But about 3 months later, she said that she wanted to wear underwear one morning and she never had an accident. I did very little prompting this time around and she did it all herself. It taught me to let her be in control.
Best of luck!

B.
Mom of Twins
Owner or www.babybearsden.com

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Keep going with the flow. Suggest that he sit on the potty when he wakes up and before you go in the car (especially if he isn't wearing diapers!) but don't push it.
Also don't be disappointed if he gets bored of it in a few weeks. Some kids show a whole lot of interest but aren't quite ready.

I don't really think there is a "window" and if you miss it, it's harder. There was a lot going on in your daughter's life that could have contributed to taking so long to be trained (like a new baby in the house!). Don't sweat it, just follow his lead.

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S.S.

answers from Lansing on

I don't have any advice, just wanted to say good luck! And, I LOL'd at your judgement comment. I've had a few of those myself! :)

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Here's an informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

I've known lots of young parents who have done exactly what you're doing – followed their children's lead. Sometimes it results in a fully-trained child within a few weeks.

Not uncommonly, a child seems trained for a few weeks, but then completely loses interest for a few weeks or months. This very common outcome has resulted in some pretty sad power struggles – parents are so reluctant to see their child "backslide" that they forget he got as as far as he did because he was choosing freely. I've noticed that in families where the child is allowed to change his mind, it usually doesn't take too long before he decides the benefits of using the potty are more attractive to him, and then training takes for keeps. (You read many such stories on this site.)

My own daughter trained at her own speed, and decided she was trained shortly after age 2.5. Her son did the same, just before he turned 3. No sweat or tears, no rewards or punishment, the children had just heard enough positive messages about the joys of using the potty, and they went for it. I've come to realize that this is a developmental step much like walking or talking – most kids WANT to do it when they are ready.

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I'd jump on the chance! Start putting him on the potty about every hour. I used the potty watch as a reminder for my daughter, and she loved it. If you're not too worn out, I'd switch him over to underwear when you do this, too. It should take about a week, but he should get it.

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R.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi N.,
You have received some great advice here. I would agree to go ahead and try if your son is showing interest, but as one wise mama said, realize that interest may not equate readiness. I think we missed the "window" with our second daughter because I had a miscarriage and was struggling emotionally and did not have the energy to potty train. Later, it was a battle of wills with her. My advice would be to go for it but keep your expectations very low. If you try for a while and it isn't working, give it up. I learned the hard way that you cannot force potty training. Yes, you can force your child to sit on the toilet (not pleasant for anyone involved), but you cannot force him or her to go. Also, depending on how soon your baby is due, you may see your son regress with the training, but I think you can still give it a try.
Blessings.

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B.V.

answers from Detroit on

My 22 month old daughter seems interested too. We have let her take the lead. When she gets up in the morning she will tell us pee and we put her on the toilet and she will go. She is still in diapers, and usually tells us when she makes stinkynpants. There are times she will tells us pee pee and we will take off her diaper and put her on the toilet. I figure we will just keep with this until she shows more interest. It is a pain sometimes to let her sit on the toilet and do nothing, but I don't want to discourage her. Good luck!

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