Potty Training - Houston,TX

My grandson who is 3 1/2 wanted to go to a gym class. We went over to
sign him up (now keep in mind I gave the women the heads up about
potty training). They said they would love to have him as long as he did not
wear diapers. They then asked him if he did. He said yes. Then they said
as soon as he was potty trained to come back. Well that afternoon the
diaper came off and that was that. Signed him up three days later and he
loves that class. So that is what worked for us. Believe me, I tried everything.

It's a control thing at this point, time for her to "own" it. Back off, no reminders or nagging. Put the potty where it's most accessible to her and tell her it's her business to do her business, but along with that comes responsibility for her actions.

Get rid of the diapers and put her in cloth training pants. When she goes other than in the potty, she gets to clean herself and the mess up, whether it's in her pants or the floor. Always have her put the poop in the toilet and flush it, to reinforce that "poop goes in the toilet." Have her clean the mess (pee, poop or both) with paper towels and cleaner, (there's a natural antibacterial one by Method at Target and of course you can go over it yourself, but don't let her see you) and rinse and scrub her undies in the sink. There's a bar of pink soap called "Zote" that she can use for scrubbing. She puts the soiled laundry in the dirty clothes hamper. Then after that she gets to stand in the shower and wash herself off with soap. (Some parents recommend a "cool" shower to make them uncomfortable.)

The point is to make it time-consuming and not fun for her to miss out on activities she likes, (TV, playing, etc.) which will help her to learn that it's much easier to use the potty. I've also seen that some moms tell the child they have to do laundry before the child can put on clean undies and bottoms so she can't go right back to playing, another time-consuming way to teach the child it's easier to use the potty.

Also, find out what her "power" incentive is. Yes, you've used books, dvd's, charts and rewards, but you haven't found what works for HER. ALL kids are different so what works for your best friend's or sister's child won't necessarily work for her. Ask her what would help her to remember to use the potty, or take note of what she gets excited about, then buy it. The key to this is YOU own it, not her, she earns the privilege of using it for 30-60 minutes when she uses the potty on her own with no reminding. This way the incentive doesn't lose it's motivation like it does once a child owns the new possession, once they own it they figure, why use the potty? And you want to have it on hand, going to the store later doesn't give her the instant reward needed to make this work.

It may take a few cleaning sessions to get her on board, but it will happen, just be consistent. Hopefully she will be trained before the new baby arrives, but remember, potty regression is fairly typical when a new sibling arrives!

I think you started way too early. Once a child is ready, it should take a couple days to get it and a couple weeks to perfect it. I think you just need to let her go in her diaper like a baby. Let her do that until she tells you she is ready. Don't mention the potty, nothing. Don't be in hurry to change diapers either. Let her stew. I think pretty soon, she will be telling you she wants to go on the potty.

Like Patty, my four year old had something she wanted to do (VBS) and couldn't do it unless she was potty trained. It worked!

My girls were potty trained at 4,5,4,4. The five year old had to be fully using the potty for a week and I'd give her the fancy Disney Princess castle cake from the grocery store. It worked!

Some kids really aren't mature enough to be potty trained.

By the way, the VBS potty trained child is now doing number two in her panties again, and will be 5 in March. That's very frustrating for me, and she cries about it. :( My girls, by the way, are on various levels of the autism spectrum. Children with autism, ADD, and other similar things often potty train late.

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It summarizes just about everything I have ever heard about successful training, including a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html

And another excellent site that discusses delays and problems, and gives a specific strategy for dealing with them: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

You've done everything right. Now you just need to take the pressure off. She knows what to do and will do it when she's ready. Do NOT punish. Punishment during potty training can cause all kinds of biological and emotional issues. Even the poster who suggested punishment didn't use it herself. Bribes, incentives, and consequences (like the cleaning up) are all great, though. Everything needs to be delivered in a matter-of-fact way. No scolding for the cleaning up, just this is what happens. Praise for success but don't go overboard. My daughter was very similar to this and it didn't click for her until a full 3 1/2. With more going on in your household (I only have the one), I can see why it might take longer. I really think the big thing at this point is to take off the pressure. Hang in there. It will happen.

what do you do when she does go potty in her pants or anywhere other than the potty? i think its time to move on to punishment! it sounds harsh but she is playing games with you and is in control of the situtation. i would scold her first time she does it again then set her in time out the following times. i am a spanker but do not believe this calls for a spanking situation as she is not putting anyone or her self in danger. btw we finally got our three year son to be fully potty trained by telling him if he goes three weeks with out an accident we would take him to the big boy zoo. A month later we went to the Houston Zoo! Sometimes bribes need to be big ones! ;D good luck.

Put underpants on her and let her be. If she wets her pants, teach her how to change her pants and clean her mess. My almost 4 year old did the same thing. I put her in a bath and cleaned her really fast without saying a word... for some reason, it helped and she started going on the potty herself with no accidents after that.

I agree with others, relax and try not to stress out about it. She needs to decide that she is going to do it. The more you push then less likely she will decide for herself. What worked for my son is telling him when he goes on the potty he can pick out his big boy underwear. That got him trained in a weekend because he was ready and decided to do it. I'm not sure if there is an incentive you can give your daughter and let her know when she is ready to go in the potty like a big girl she can do XYZ, but it may help. Then just leave it alone, she'll train when she's ready!

Hang in there I know it's frustrating! But this will pass!

Don't force it. It will only take longer. My daughter did the same thing. She refused for 6 months, then she decided she would use the toilet and it was over quickly. I got very helpful information from a website: http://health.med.umich.edu from the University of Michigan. Type in "toilet training resistance" in the search field to get good info. Forcing her to sit on the toilet until she goes is a battle you are not going to win. Are you sure she is ready to toilet train? Read about toilet readiness and toilet training resistance. Sometimes changes, like having a new baby, will cause regression. Any time she shows any initiative towards using the potty, praise, praise praise her! For my daughter, we made a HUGE deal when she finally decided to poop on the potty - we took her immediately to the dollar store and let her pick out a prize. I also kept a bag of prizes in the closet she could pick from when she went #2 for a couple weeks. You have to find out what is rewarding for her - maybe a special mommy/daughter play date without sibs along, or a daddy daughter date. The website I referred to says to say nothing, do nothing for a month, then try again. I know it's frustrating, especially when pregnant. Also, my daughter showed more interest after I put her in preschool when she saw other children going to the potty. Do you have a friend with older kids who could take her for the day and watch how the "big kids" do it? Or maybe a cousin she adores? Of course get their parents permission and ask the child to help. Use peer pressure in a positive way!