Potty Training - Cypress,TX

Updated on February 11, 2009
K.J. asks from Cypress, TX
24 answers

I have a 21 month old daughter I tried to potty train her but she seems to only want to sit on her potty when she does not have to go but when i catch her in the act of making a "poo poo" I say do you want to go potty and she immediately says no. I have read articles about do not pressure your child, leet them take the lead, they should be able to wake up with a dry diaper. all the readiness things. I admit I have not been consitant all the time. I know that important but being that I am the main person taking care of the children my youngest eats every 2 hours..so it is hard to be consistant.
However I have a 2 month old and I need make my life easier. Is there something I can do? I dont want to make her hate the potty but I do need have her master it. Any suggestions or thoughts are greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance.

by the way when she sits on her potty I try to entertain her with singing ABC's or asking her where her eyes and nose etc.. She will say "all done" when she wants up but he doesnt use the potty with the exception of 1 time when she was making her poo poo my husband picked her up and ran her to the potty even though she didnt want to go...

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P.H.

answers from Austin on

Since you are doing this to "make life easier" I have good news for you! Two in diapers is way easier than trying to toilet train an unready toddler...so stop and just wait until she's unhappy with wet or poopy diapers or talks about trying to use the potty.
(This is coming from a mom who's lived through 2 in diapers for the better part of the last 6 years...so I know what it's like!) Hang in there!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

There are several methods to do this. But, in my experience, I pushed my older 2 kids and had some success with a lot of irritation, anger, and frustration on both the child and myself. Neither were fully potty trained until 3 anyway, though I had started at 18 months with serious training around age 2. With my 3rd, I decided to wait it out until closer to 3. Potty training was easy and completed in days. It was a pain and expensive to wait, but it was much easier on the peace of my household. Also, running a 2 year old to the bathroom when out and about is not fun, especially when you have a baby too.

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R.M.

answers from Houston on

Personally, I found it much easier on me and my son to wait. I had a newborn and a just-turned-3 year old son. My son was not ready to potty train---he knew what to do, but he was adjusting to a baby brother, and even though he was very excited about the baby, he simply didn't want to use the potty. I waited 6 months, then one day he informed me that he was going to wear big-boy underwear and use the potty to stay dry all of the time. By waiting until he was emotionally ready, potty training was simple. I found it much easier to change diapers for two, rather than get aggravated and impatient with a child who did not want to use the potty yet. Just because they are physically ready does not mean they are emotionally ready, especially when there's a new baby around. Be easy on yourself and your daughter and hold off 3 or 4 months. It sounds like she's just not ready yet. (By the way, it is very rare for even a girl to be potty trained prior to 2 years old. More often, it's the mom who is trained in exactly what time to sit her child on the potty to avoid wet panties.) And, don't worry about your child not being potty trained when her friends are. Every child is different, and at a certain point, she'll notice what her friends are doing in the potty and want to join in, too.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Yep, I'm in the too young camp, also.

When she is ready it will be much easier! When they are not ready, it is a ton more work and very frustrating for everyone.

Don't feel pressured by how early other toddlers are potty trained. I learned the hard way. My neighbor's son was potty trained by 2 and a half and my boys were not interested at all until closer to age 3 and a half. I was getting very stressed and felt like a bad mom b/c my kids were not trained. Both my mother and my mother in law had to straighten me out on that!

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

I understand about making your life easier. I have a 3.5 year old, a 19 month old, and a 6 week old, the last of whom is breastfeeding on demand (which can be every half hour at times!).

However, your daughter is NOT ready. She's not even two and she's not showing you signs. Pressuring her very likely won't work anyway. People will tell you about different methods of doing it, but if you can't consistently take her every 15 minutes or so, you're dealing with a lot of accidents. WHat's harder, changing her diapers, or cleaning up all her accidents AND taking her to the potty AND all the stress you'll be putting on yourself and her??? I'd rather change the diapers myself.

Honestly, I've seen my friends go through it. You will not be simplifying your life if you push her to potty train too early. You'll be adding more stress that you don't need.

Remember, too, that even when little ones are close to potty trained or ARE potty trained, they very often regress when a new little one enters their lives. The new baby isn't going to make anything easier on her psyche and readiness. Even if she's physically ready (which, if she's not staying dry she may not even be physically ready) she is probably not emotionally ready, and kids need to be both.

Honestly, people that have their children trained early will admit that they are the ones who were trained - it will be training yourself to take her every 15 minutes and put her on that potty in order to have her finally understand the association. Do you have that kind of time? I didn't when my little nurslings were 5 months old. Potty training at an early age is potty training the parents, and the little ones follow along. If you wait until she's truly ready, you will have a "potty learned" child in no time. I'm not knocking people who manage to train their children at an earlier age, but they do it with consitency and with predictable patterns. I'm just trying to tell you that attempting this right now is not going to make your life easier or simpler in anyway.

Good luck in whatever you do.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

Potty training a child - especially one that is not ready will not make your life easier. I know it's not what you need to hear but you probably need to wait. You are also going to need to wait until you are ready to be consistent and can focus on it a little more- when your newborn is a little older this will be easier. For now just have her go with you when you go and maybe have her sit on her little potty when you are on yours. I did this with my daughter for several months before she was really ready. I would also put her on at times I knew she would ussually go- before nap, before bed, before bath, after dinner, ect. But for now- don't put preasure and don't take her unless you are already going. When you are ready to focus some time and be consistent- then put her on a schedule and rather than asking if she has to go- just tell her "time to go potty" and set up a reward system or however you choose to go about it but right now doesn't sound like the time. Trust me- when she is ready it will be MUCH easier.

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R.B.

answers from College Station on

Your 21-month-old might very well still be a little young for potty training. I've known some kids potty trained just before or right around 2, but that hasn't been the norm. My 2nd child (a girl) was incredibly easy to train just before she turned 2 1/2. She was going pee and poo in the potty in just one weekend (and I wasn't even serious about it, just wanted to see what happened over the course of the weekend!!) Also, I read that you want to make your life easier. I have to tell you that having the older child potty-trained is not necessarily going to make your life easier with a new baby. My son was not trained before my 2nd was born, and the main hassle where he was concerned was that he wanted me to change his diaper everytime I changed his baby sister's! And there were many times after my 3rd was born that I WISHED my daughter was still in diapers! When you're at McD's and have to pick up baby and bag(s) and make a run for the bathroom *right now*. Or when you're trying to feed the baby but your older one won't go potty by herself even when she's perfectly capable of doing so. Etc. I recall one horrible time at the bookstore where I had stopped because the baby was screaming. She had pooped out of her diaper, and she was hungry. I changed her and sat down to feed her, only to have my older daughter announce that she needed to poop, so we headed back to the bathroom where I proceeded to nurse standing up while pulling down pants and eventually wiping a bottom. All of that is to say that if you're daughter isn't ready, don't stress yourself out trying to make her ready, and don't think you have to get her trained just because it will make everything easier. Good luck!!

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

We tried fairly early with my daughter as well (around 19 months) since she liked to sit on the potty (she was also VERY verbal VERY early), but ended up going back to diapers for awhile until she was really ready. She told us when she was right at 2 1/2 that she wanted to wear her underwear. That is when we really started training. We still had some issues and it was frustrating for awhile (we also had a new baby in the house and she used it as a control thing), but we finally got there. Even after 4 months of no accidents, she started going poo poo in her pants again, so they can still have setbacks even after you think it's all behind you. Again, that was a control thing, so I would maybe wait a little longer for her to get a bit older and more adjusted to the new baby and then try again. One thing I learned is that if they don't want to do it, they won't!

Also, it was much easier to just change her diaper after the fact than it was to stop nursing my son to run her to the potty because inevitably, this is when she would decide she needed to go (did I mention anything about control!). Anyway, I wouldn't put the potty away or anything. Let her sit on it when she wants to, but don't push the issue, trust me when I say that it will backfire. I'm speaking from experience. Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Austin on

Hey K., I don't want to be the nay-sayer... but my daughter was the same way as yours. Honestly, potty training (#1 and #2) didn't click for her until she was around 30-32 months. You're doing a good job in making sure she's comfortable with the idea of the potty, not scared of it, etc. Plus she probably really values and enjoys the attention you give her while she's trying. However, at least with my daughter, she had to mature to a certain age in order to recognize the physical sensation of needing to go, plus the mental ability to be able to control muscles and acquire time planning capabilities (as in, recognizing that its something you need to do in the next few minutes as opposed to right this moment).

If I were you, I'd set the timer to remind yourself to take her every 2-3 hours. But keep her in pull-ups or diapers (because with an infant also, you don have time to be constantly cleaning the floors and carpeting)... and just set your own expectations accordingly. You can try stickers, candy, and reward incentives for going, however I read (during my own potty training research) that child psychologists say children under age 3 do not understand the "conditional this for that" reward system.

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W.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi K.,
That is too young for potty training. I would wait another 10 months minimum to start. Diapers are pretty easy too when you are busy. My two kids are 15 months apart and my youngest wanted to be fed every hour. Keep yourself sane. Having very young ones is really hard work. No one expects you or your house to be perfect at this time. It is ok to be concentrating on the kids and let other things slide.
Good luck.

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J.K.

answers from Austin on

Hi K., I have had two children of my own as well as two grandchildren. One of the things I regret is the fact that I was so anxious to potty train my son before he was really ready. It was a difficult time because I wanted him potty trained to get into a particular school and they insisted he be potty trained. it all backfired when I put him into the program , he backtracked on the potty training and I had to pull him out. After that, I changed my attitude about potty training. I have taught PPCD for ten years as well as an inclusion pre-k. Children need to show signs of readiness and willingness to potty train before you push forth. I suggest that you give up on it for about three months and then try again. Your child is still very young and there is plenty of time for potty training. When you do decide to do it, start out with a routine and have potty training as part of your day. If it is part of the schedule, it will be more natural for your child. Also, use clothing that is very easy to get on and off. Use little blouses and pants with elastic waistbands. Jeans with zippers and snaps,belts, tights, onsies -cute as they are, overalls, are out for this period. Start with pull-ups and move into little panties. Go gradually. If your child attends a pre-school, or a mother's day out where some of the kids are being potty trained, this will give her additional cues and motivation. It just sounds as if she is not quite ready. Many kids take until they are three. Be patient. It will come together. J. K

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi K.,
Just wanted to echo what others have already said...21 months is a bit young to expect her to be potty-trained (none of my 3 girls trained until they were at least 2 1/2--and they are advanced in other ways--the one that was 2 1/2 is now my GT kid!). Because she is not only not interested but actually seems a little resistant to the potty, I would totally lay off the training until she starts to show interest. Eventually she will start to get into the whole 'big girl' thing, and if she goes to preschool she will see her classmates using the potty; then she will start to figure out that the potty isn't scary and is a part of growing up. Until then, trying to force her when she's not ready will just add tremendous stress to all your lives, and may in fact delay her readiness--the exact opposite of what you want! Best of luck to you.

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A.M.

answers from Brownsville on

K.,

I know you don't want to hear this but she may be a little to young. I trained both of mine at 2 years with great sucess.

Tips have her go shoping with you and allow her to pick out some "big girl" panties. Have her wear them at home while she is awake. Ask her to try not to pee on who ever ( for us it was Mickey) have her tell you when she does. This will let you know that she really has even grasped the whole Pee pee concept. As for poop that usally takes longer, we had ours wear the big boy pants all the time and tell us when they had to poop, we then allowed them to put a diaper back on and poop. We then did a diaper count down, "only 10 diapers left" they began to join in the count down till there where no more. Then we began to put them on the pot with a book. A big reward was offered and given for there sucess. For mine it was a talking book they had been wanting.

Anyway I know with another little one to care for you are anxious for her to master this skill but enjoy her and be patient she may just not be ready yet. If it any consolation the secound one is usually eaiser!!

Best of luck to you.

A.

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K.K.

answers from San Angelo on

I know you might not want to hear this, but she may not be ready. I've always heard that it's time to start potty training little ones around 2 years. This seems to be about the time they are ready also. My little one, who is 28 months, started sitting on the potty around 20 months, but I had a little potty seat in the restroom and she started doing this without my encouragement. I didn't think she would be ready this early because my oldest one wasn't. She is still potty training because she doesn't like to have bowel movements in her potty. That seems to be the hardest aspect of potty training. But, my point is, we started it because she was ready. One thing I found that was always a good help in getting her (and my oldest when she was training)to go was to reward her for going. As soon as she tinkles, I would give her a small piece of candy. At my house we rarely eat candy, so this was a treat. She knew that she didn't get one unless she used the potty. I had to stick to that rule like glue or it wouldn't do any good. This seemed to work well, though. I hope this helps at least a little! Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Sharing the potty training experience with my daughter, who is 5 now, and friends with their children, I have found that most children are ready to potty train much closer to 3 than 2. Be patient mama. It will happen. Then next thing you'll know, we will all be asking for advice on how to keep her happy without giving her the keys to the car every night of the week.

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J.M.

answers from Austin on

Candy is the key. I know that is horrible, but you will be amazed at what your child will do for 1 little M&M. My sister has worked at and run daycares for many years. She has potty trained all of the children in our family. We send them for a week long visit to Aunties and they come back potty trained. We call her the potty training nazi. It is a little harsh, but it works. If they wet there pants, she puts them in time out. She gives lots of opportunities to sit on the potty. She lets them know if they potty in the toilet they get one M&M. 2 for Poopy. Once they start really going for the M&M. She makes them go twice before they get the M&M. She then increases the amount of times they must go to get the M&M. They eventually just go on there own. I don't know if you really want to do the time out thing but, the bribery always gets them. If she doesn't like candy or you don't want to use candy, use something else she really likes and only let her have at potty time.

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L.P.

answers from Austin on

well I am not in the to young club you can start intro to the pot now but just don't exspect them to get it right away take your baby to the pot every 30 to 45 min. I also let my 3 children sit in front of the TV, read book, and have a toy just to get them comfortable by 26 months they were off and never ever wet the bed. So if you think it is time go for it. You have another small one so that kinda pushes the other to get to the next step. Kids are smarter that people think and believe me it is not to early.... just have fun with it

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S.A.

answers from Houston on

She is too young. But, I did at her age with both of my 2 children, play a dvd about potty training and left it on the TV playing throughout the day, they both would stop and watch it and then do something else then go back and sit and watch etc...I also left the little potty chair available for them to use anytime. Then one day, all of the sudden they both were trained within 3 days. I also never used pull-ups. I would let them go w/o bottoms so they could just sit down whenever they felt like it. When they would sit down on the potty I would just smile and kind of hide and let them either go on their own or they would just sit there and do nothing. If they did go, I got excited, if they just sat there I would just smile. They seemed to like the fact that I left them alone when they were just checking it all out. Good Luck-do not push it!

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L.J.

answers from Houston on

When you find her in the act, don't ask her if she wants to go to the potty, TELL her "time to go to the potty!!" Take her and let her pick out her own big girl panties! Make a big deal every time she sits on the potty, even if she does not go, even bigger deal when she does! Maybe try stickers to reinforce! Hope this helps!

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A.O.

answers from El Paso on

I have twin girls and the timer was my best friend during potty training. The first few days were the worst because you have to be very consistant. For the first have of the day I set the timer for 15min. Each time it rang I took them to sit on the potty and asked them if they had to go. Although I think they understand what I was asking, they were timid at first so in order to give them the general idea of what I was asking of them I did two things 1)I took a glass of warm water and poured it between their legs as they were sitting on the potty to simulate pee 2) I used the bathroom also while they were there and when I finished I explained what I did. The second half of the day I set the timer for 30 minutes. The first 2 days I left their diaper on and then we switched to panties. We had hardwood floor so an accident was easy to clean up but that may not be the case for everyone. By the end of the week they were potty trained when it came to pee but going poo took longer. They would tell me when they had to go but wanted me to put a diaper on. I would, and then change them afterwards. We ended up using a sticker chart to encourage the use of the potty for this particular area. The trick is to be consistant and take them to the potty when the timer rings regardless of whether they say they dont have to go. Once they started using the potty that first week I started setting the timer for longer periods and then stopped using it at all. hope this helps

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

My firsthought was she is young . My 2nd thought was both my kids were trained at that age . My trick was to use a timer and underwear. Pull-ups didn't work with my kids they thought of them as diapers.
Buy a timer ( the ones you set and ring, and you can carry them with you through out the house with you-Target and Walmart sell them).
Have her in panties and take her to sit on the potty. Don't ask her if she needs to go b/c it is not a choice she has to go sit in the potty.
Sit her there for 2-3 min. Stay with her. After 2-3 min. take her off the potty. Set the timer for 10 min.and when it goes off, take her to the potty again. Keep doing this.
This is how the Montessori schools my kids went to trained them.We did this at home afterschool and on the weekends until they were trained.
It took 2 weekends ( 4 days!) and they were trained.
Potty training is a commitment for us parents as well as the kids. They are young to tell us they have to go,so that 's why we take them to the potty.
You will find that after taking her every 10 min. that she will eventually not go every 10 min. and you can set the timer longer. When she does go in the potty, still set the timer and have her go again.
We also used rewarding . We kept a jar of m&ms on the counter and they kids got a reward for going pee or poop. They don't get a reward for just sitting on the potty. My kids learned really quick the reward thing and eventually forgot all about the candy and went potty on their own without getting candy at all.
Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Austin on

I never like giving potty training advice because every kid is different but this is what worked for me. Took a week when I had nothing to do. Put his potty in the middle of the floor in the room he spends the most time in. Stripped him naked for the entire day. He was clothed for bed. We had two accidents but within 3 days he was going regularly on his potty. We worked our way to wearing underpants and then to clothes. Downside is you can't leave the house for a few days.

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A.C.

answers from Austin on

I trained my son at 27 months and did it the old fashioned way, bribery! When he would produce something on the potty he would get a chocolate chip or jelly bean. I kept a little tin of candy in the bathroom and he could pick something out (one for pee pee or 2 for poo poo). I also got a book called "No more diapers for ducky" and it was a huge hit. I would read it to him while he was on the potty. I did it over 5 days and it was pretty horrible. Woke up one day and I told him we were out of diapers. I used pull-ups at nap and night for about a month. At first he would sit on the potty and then hop off, say he was done, and then pee on the floor. We went through a lot of laundry and frustration but my advise is to stay tough. I kept putting him on the potty about every 30 min the first couple of days and then as I started to see his pee patterns I cut it down to about every hour and after meals. There were times when I wanted to give up and go back to diapers but it is well worth a week of suffering for the end result! I know this is too much information but I just went through it two months ago so it is all fresh! She might be a little too young but I've heard of it being successful before age 2. Good luck!

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B.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi K., Keep doing what you are doing but don't be discouraged if she doesn't pick it up for almost another year. Now that you have a new baby, it's likely that potty training will be very difficult for her. A lot of change. If you find yourself exhausted from frequent potty breaks, accidents in public places (and at home) and a new baby, just stop for 3-6 months. My son showed signs of readiness at the same age but then regressed. He didn't actually potty train until he was 3 and a half. I would have pushed it before that but I had a baby when he turned 3; it was just too much for him to handle. The majority of my friend's children didn't potty train until late 2's and 3 as well. Don't stress yourself (although, having your oldest diaper free would be nice).

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