Potty Training - Newtown,PA

M., when I had my first child, I took the attitude of, when she's ready, she'll let me know. Hahahahaha! When your kid is 3 years, 1 month and trains in 4 days, you've (I've) waited too long. Incentives and soft reminders aren't going to do it. Using the toilet isn't optional, it's expected behavior at three years old. She's shown you that she can use the toilet all day, so if she isn't doing it, she is choosing not to. Don't give her that choice. Do not ask if her if she needs to use the bathroom. Do not make it optional. Take her to the bathroom, every hour or so, without asking if she wants or needs to. Simply make it a part of the routine. Then when she pees her pants, do not say "it's ok" - if she didn't bother taking herself to the toilet or asking you to take her (but my three went by herself and did not require assistance), then she needs to learn that's not okay and that you are disappointed that she did not use the bathroom as you expected. I'm not saying to berate her, hit her or anything like that, but once you know they are capable, it is really okay for using the bathroom to be a rule, an expected behavior, just like anything else you expect such as wearing shoes outside and brushing teeth twice a day. It's not that your child didn't bother using the toilet all day, it's that you did not bother to take her. You may not think you have to be responsible for the toileting routine, but you do at this stage.
Good luck!

There is no big "switch" for most kids. most kids will keep on peeing in diapers or pull-ups as long as you allow it.

pee and poop go in the toilet. 3 year olds wear undies. I'm with Mindy: when they know how to do it, have control of the muscles and are able to do it, it is an expected behavior. They will regress and have occasional accidents, but while potty training isn't a real all or nothing behavior, if you aren't consistent in your expectations, they will of course keep peeing their pants just because.

So, you say things like, do you want to go pee before or after a snack? Do you want to go pee before or after mommy. No soft reminders here. You need to help cultivate the habit, just as you did with teeth brushing.

Take her to the store to buy her special, pretty cute underwear with her
choice of character on them. Telling her she's a big girl so she gets to
pick them.
Whenever you go pee, take her in there with you and let her pee first.
Whenever you run an errand, pee at the house before you leave.
When you're out, take her to the bathroom wherever you end up like the
bank or the store.
Don't get mad or berate her when she has an accident. Just change her.
This way you don't give any negative attention.
Getting mad at her won't help the situation any. While I understand the
frustration of potty training, know that kids are bound to have some issues w/it AND some accidents. Know you are right around the corner from pure success so just hang in there and keep at it.
Don't let her sit in her filth for hours. Check on her frequently & change her as soon as you notice. If you check her all the time, you'll catch it
quickly.
Take her to the bathroom all the time so she is prompted.
Praise her when she goes in the potty like a big girl!!

Ive heard that with some kids it just takes a little longer. Dont be frustrated just continue on being patient. If she use it at school and is using it at home, Im sure she will be 100% potty trained real soon. She is 3 and Im sure she is very smart. Part of your frustration may be because she is doing everything else except going to the potty. At this age, she know exactly what she is doing. She know when she have to use it and she know where to go use it at. She use it on herself because she can. My dauughter was the same way! She was almost 3 when she was trained. At first I did potty training the nice normal way. But then I took my moms advice and she was FULLY potty trained within 24 hours. She will be FULLY potty trained real soon. Keep up the good work mom!

I'm really with Mindy and Julie on this one. You're the mom. It's up to you to teach her and reinforce the expectations. Kids don't magically train themselves. She's gone in a diaper her whole life up until now; how is she supposed to know what to do? Especially since there's no clear communication as to what exactly is supposed to happen, or that when she pees in her pants, it's kind of okay (because those are your exact words to her, right?) - what is she supposed to make of that? You need to be very, very clear with her as to what's going to happen. From now on, no diapers. She is to pee and poop in the potty every single time. And then, it's up to YOU to make sure she gets there. Watch her closely. If she starts doing the potty dance, run her to the bathroom. If she has an accident, don't tell her it's okay. It's not okay. I'm not saying to get mad at her (we all make mistakes), but definitely let her know that you expect her to make it to the potty next time. And make sure she does!

Sure, potty training is not anybody's favorite part of parenting, but in order to make it as quick as possible, you just need to be in charge of the process. Be clear in your expectations, and recognize that all of the "heavy lifting" on this belongs to you, and not to her. Stay on it and she will be potty trained in no time.

Do you have her clean up her own messes? How about a bribe. Think of a fun activity that she will be able to do once she stops peeing her pants, like an amusement park. Tell her that when she is a big girl, and doesn't pee in her pants anymore you will take her to the amusement park.