My 3 Year Old Daughter Has Absolutely No Interest in Potty training..please Help

Updated on October 17, 2009
L.O. asks from Copiague, NY
11 answers

My lovely daughter has absolutely no interest in going potty. She is very strong-willed and will not give up her diapers. When she was 2 , we showed some interest --- I don't know what happened --- she had the dvd potty-time Elmo and would watch it and come to the bathroom with me etc etc ... One day she decided didn't want to watch the dvd anymore and had no interest in going potty again....I knew not to push the issue and didn't but now she is going on 3 1/2 and still no interest. She will tell me after she went pee but not before. She is very tall for her age and I have to buy goodnights small for her because she does not fit in the pullups anymore. I would really like to have her trained by the new year and don't know what to do.....I have tried rewards and everything. I even told her we would go do a special mommy and me class that she wants to do --- once we loose the diapers and that she could sign up for the dance class she wants to do but she has to go potty .... nothing is working and now I don't even know where to start...please help

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from New York on

Just make her do it....take the diapers away and deal with the mess for a couple of days....she is old enough, you are not dealing with a child who is too young to understand. I found with both my kids, it really wasn't about them, it was about me....when I finally put my foot down they were fully trained in a couple of days. You always hear, you shouldn't push them, but I don't agree...I tried the don't push approach for 6 months with both my kids (nope, I didn't learn the first time!!) Once I was ready, they were trained. A little tough love won't scar her!! Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.D.

answers from New York on

Why would you let your child dictate whether or not she is going to do something? Do you give her a choice of sitting in her car seat and being buckled in? Im sure she doesnt like it. Do you make her sit at the table for meals? I hope so. Potty training has become a touchy emotional issue, with the "experts" telling parents not to scar the child by pushing. Take away the pullups (they are the same as diapers)put underwear on her and tell her to sit on the toilet every hour. Dont ask. Keep her there for 3 minutes and tell her she can get up. Dont fuss about if she made or not. She knows what she is supposed to do and has made it a power play. Think of all the attention she is getting by NOT using the toilet. If she pees on the floor give her a rag and tell her to clean it. Or else clean it yourself, but dont complain or give her attention. If she happens to go in the potty, you can sing, dance, call dad and celebrate. But stop all negative attention.
PS if you have another child train them BEFORE they can talk.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.Q.

answers from Albany on

At this age, it is clearly a control battle. Don't make it a huge battle, just tell her, that when you run out of diapers, there are no more because they don't make them in her size because she is getting to big for diapers. Then, just tell her where the potty is and put her in underwear. Don't put the timer on, or make her sit on the potty... let her go when she wants to. She may have accidents, or hold it for a while, but she will get bored with the control battle, as long as you don't play into it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from New York on

well I have a 2yr old granddaughter that I potty trained, what I did was wake her up in the night and sat her on the toilet until now she goes on her own, buy her some pretty panties, does she like any cartoon character? that might interest her to put them on and use the potty,

hoped I help
be Blessed

D.D.

answers from New York on

She's 3 1/2 and should be using the bathroom on her own at this point. Instead of getting frustrated and using bribes I'd use a more direct approach. Tell her that you are sorry but you don't have the money to buy diapers any more. Tell her that she'll have to wear big girl panties from now on because there aren't any more diapers. When she has an accident tell her that now that she's a big girl she has to help clean up after it.

At this point you are making it sound like an option to use the bathroom but in reality it's just what everyone does as they grow up. It's not fun, it's not exciting, it's just what people do.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.
My daughter who is now 5 did not become fully trained until after her 4th birthday. I tried everything ie: bribes, rewards and telling her big girls go on the potty. Since she became trained she has not had one accident. Be patient she will get it. The one thing I did was have her just wear panties for a week this worked with peeing.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from New York on

HI L.,
We were in your shoes not too long ago. My son will be 4 late November and we struggled for months trying the potty thing. Back in April or May his dad took him in the bathroom and showed him what to do and that was it. Not wet accident to date. Poop was a different story. He would ask for a diaper and after trying to get him to the toilet and not to get him too frustrated we would put on a pull up and let him do his thing. And then magic....one night he took dad to the bathroom and went in the toilet. this was 3 weeks ago. My point is stop stressing. I was so stressed over this I really feel your pain. She will get it. Just be consistent and let her know this is what has to happen. Best of luck, D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Try putting her in the coolest panties around (that she picks out) - cold turkey. Tell her the dipes are too small because she has grown. Maybe give her a special prize every now and again (not so much for using the potty, but for being such a big girl who is trying something new). The random prizes may make her feel proud of being a "big girl" and having big girl accomplishments. good luck. dont worry, she get it eventually.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from New York on

BTDT. Once morning when she wakes up wet and needs to be
changed, send her for a diaper. However, when she goes
to get one, low and behold, you will have gotten rid of
them and replaced with big girl panties. I am sure there will be a tantrum, and a few accidents but she
will get the idea. Make this non-negotiable. You cannot
go back. Tell her Mom forgot to get diapers and we just
cannot get to the store.

This may sound cold and heartless, but it worked in my
house. And to quote a little 3 y.o. boy I met, "I want
those diapers back again" after being potty trained. His
Mom asked him why and he said "it makes my life so much
easier." What a hoot he is. Obviously he did not get
the diapers back. Your daughter just might find it
easier and just can't be bothered. Hope this helps.
Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.K.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,
We told our son that once the diapers we had were gone, we weren't getting any more. He definitely understood the concept. Once the dipers were gone, that was it. I had him wear his underwear or just be naked around the house. He had accidents, but soon learned that he didn't like to pee on his own leg 8-)
About 1/2 hour after he would drink anything, we would go into the bathroom and sit on the potty. It wasn't easy, but now he's potty trained and we are saving alot of money, not having to buy diapers.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi L.,
She is not going to decide on her own to use the bathroom. You are the parent, take control. DVDs and stickers are not going to make her wake up one day and just start using the toilet. I say put her in cloth diapers or heavy cloth trainers with waterproof outer layer/plastic pants. Once she's in cloth, she'll realize what happens when she pees, she gets very, very wet. That may motivate her to use the toilet, and it will also make her more aware of what it feels like just before she goes. Then I'd take her to the toilet every hour or hour and a half, just for 5 minutes. Don't ask her if she has to or wants to, this is not an optional activity, using the bathroom is expected behavior. You have given her control by allowing her to still be in disposable diapers or waiting til she expresses and interest. Remember that you wouldn't allow her this control over other issues of expected behavior. Bribes and rewards just reinforce the idea that it's optional and that it's something they can choose to do or not to to please you, rather than something that is expected. The reward is not to be sitting in wet/dirty diapers all the time and not having to have your diaper changed in front of everyone anymore.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches