Potty Training - Cinebar,WA

I would contact the doctor. At a certain point it can be very difficult to train her,so yo may have to get the doctors help

The book "Toilet Training in Less Than A Day" would work. It is the culmination of research that was developed to toilet train retarded people, then modified to teach small children. It works if you follow it 100%. I used it successfully on my 27 month old, who has been in underwear for 6 months now.

My best advice is to back off. My son had major potty training issues, and we tried everything. We ended up causing some bowel issues. Finally we just let him have his way until he decided he could do it with NO PRESSURE! He was almost 5. His preschool, although they said they had to be potty trained, was very understanding.
Hang in there! I know it's hard.

I think she will do it when she is ready. I am a firm believer in that. No matter what you do, say, promise, etc-it's all going to be up to her. Having an irritable bowel throws another loop into that as well. She may not be able to control her bowels yet. One worry at a time.
True, if she isn't potty trained she won't be able to go to school-but if she's not potty trained yet-she's not ready to go to school. If she is 4 1/2 now-that means between now and August she will be turning 5. Is she truly ready?
My 6 year old (December B-Day) was born with alot of challenges all of which, he has overcome. He is 1 year behind his peers (no denial in this house) and didn't want to go to school last fall. We talked about it, visited where his class and teacher would be-and he wouldn't have anything to do with it. The last time we talked about it (in our nicey/nicey tone) he got upset immediately, started to hyperventilate, and went to his room, cried for 20 minutes and fell asleep (at 1:0pm) We spoke to alot of people in the educational field (Kindergarten teachers, grade school teachers, and 2 grade school Principal's) all of them saying, "if he is not ready, don't force him to go, it's not going to hurt him by not going this year". Before all of this-he refused to be fully potty trained (pooped in a diaper until 8 months ago) because he knew, he was going to school. He is ready to go in the fall. He knows his A,B,C's, Counts past 20, spells, writes his name, and is more ready than my older son was (and he wanted to go to school when he was 4).
If she doesn't go to school this fall, it's no big deal.

I would push to see a pediatric gastrointestinal specialist. My son had major bowel issues and that also affected his ability to maintain bladder control. He was potty trained for pee in two weeks at 3 years old, but he'd have accidents when he fought against bowel movements. If I had to do it all over again, I would have pushed my doctor to refer us to a specialist when he was 2-1/2. As it was, I had a friend who had their daughter at a gastro doctor and she shared information with me that helped us with our son a year later...when he was 4.

I agree with the other posts, that her pediatrician should be consulted, because the IBS may be getting in the way. If not, then the only suggestion I have is peer pressure. How much is she around other kids? I have found that sometimes, when kids get around the other kids, all of a sudden they want to be like the other kids and do what they can do. If your granddaughter is around other kids her age, maybe you (or her mom) can make a big deal about how the other kids use the potty, and wouldn't it be great if she used the potty like them. You could even go as far as having a friend's daughter demonstrate how it's done...bt other than that, you might want to not make a big deal about it. Hope this helps.

IBS can be the symptom of many physical and psychological problems. I suggest a naturopath first and perhaps a good pediatrician second. This might be about manipulation but then again it might not. This might be the start of some life long problems and should be investigated deeply prior to making any quick judgments. Chris RN

I'm a Kindergarten teacher and we have had children who are not potty trained, but they are also generally coming with an IEP because they were previously in a special needs program. Kindergarten teachers aren't "supposed" to deal with potty issues, but honestly, our kiddos are 5 and most students have an accident or two. I'm assuming you are talking about Kindergarten, you may be talking about preschool. I would definately consult with a pediatrician about this. I do have a funny potty training technique that I wanted to share. I read it once in a parenting magazine. It was called the 70 dollar potty training technique. You let your little one run around without pants for a week. After awhile, they do not like the feel of pee going down their legs and they run to the potty before they have to go. This is a great technique to try in the summer where they can be in the backyard and water the grass rather than your carpet. They call this the 70 dollar technique because it costs 70 dollars to clean your carpet.

I would not push it, she'll do it when ready. Also, what does he doctor say about this? Is it just number 2, that she is not going on the potty? Is Tethered Cord a posibility?
My DD was 4 1/2 when she finally decided to potty train. We tried everything to no avail. I too was worried about school.
Finally one day, she did it. It was her choice, not ours. Of course we made a huge deal about it. She also had bowel issues.

K.,

I am kinda in your spot too my son is 4 1/2 and he suffers from contapation. so we are almost there what i find is haveing him sit on the potty befor he goes outside to play or befor we get in to the car for town, and befor and after a meal. also we have cheerful potty time every time he sits and uses the potty he gets a happy face on his potty chart and so many happy faces earns him a prize. i have notice we have fewer acidents and have been able to have a couple of dry days in a row we also have him sit on the potty at lest 2 to 5 mins timed when he is on there

i hope this helps

My brother was 6 before he would cooperate. He was told he
couldn't go to school and poop his pants..he knew how to detect the urge, but got more attention from having the mess! Mom didn't make a big deal out of it..just told him what to expect when school time rolled around. No more from
the parents, and he marched to the right tune!

The thing that worked with my boys was just putting them in undies. The first few days there were a lot of accidents, but once they knew diapers were no longer an option, they put the effort forth to succeed. At 4 1/2 I assume your child understands about potty training and should be ready. I don't know of a Kindergarten that will take children who can not use the potty on their own.

She needs to consult with her pediatrician about the IBS. As far as 'training', the little girl has effectively trained her parents at this late stage of the game. This is about control and attention, some of it was lacking when the training should have been occurring. I would also talk with the pediatrician about a therapist to help them as a family.
Bribery will probably be needed, not such much if you do this we'll get you this, but if you don't do this, this is what will happen. Choices and consequences. My niece did this with her bladder control until she was 7 years old. She made the conscious decision to wet her pants whenever she wanted to get someone's attention (usually her mom's). To her, even bad attention was a good thing because Mom had to take the time to care for her. I remember taking her shopping during the holidays and visiting the carousel. She wet her pants in my new car. I was upset with her. I had brought along clean clothes as I had been warned this might happen. So we changed. Every time we went into a store our first stop was to the ladies room. She had to go to the bathroom before we could shop in that store. We made so many trips to the bathroom we didn't have that much time to window shop and see all the sights downtown. I remember putting her on the carousel horse and she started to wet. I took her off and to the bathroom. I wouldn't go back. I asked her why she did that to the horse, to me. Her reply was because she could. (She was 4 yrs old then.) My sister-in-law passed away when my niece was 6. For a year after that she had to learn how to go to the bathroom, nighttime was especially hard. She still used it to get her Dad's undivided attention, she has an older brother. She ultimately learned that she got no attention and could go no where with wet pants. She had to strip her own bed and help make it. Bottom line, 1st make sure there's no physical problem preventing her from using the bathroom. Set guidelines, consequences that even a 4yr old can understand and then live with them. That's the hardest part as the family may not get to do somethings because the 4yr old isn't ready for public activities. No trips to the zoo, the park, visiting family or friends, no friends over. Upcoming school maybe the prime motivator for all involved. I wish everyone well.

Have they tried child directed? She is in charge of the whole thing. She says when she sits on the potty you can't force her. It is working well with my 3 year old. Also is she still in pull ups or pull on diapers. We had to just accept the mess and put ours in cloth panties, she couldn't tell when she was wet.

Good luck.

I am 54 and now have a 5yr old son who has also had problems both with BM's and using the potty. I thought I would pull my hair out with the endless dirty underware. But you have to get the BM problem under control and once it is the little one will find for herself with encouragement that going potty is not bad at all. I still do the potty dance when my son goes in and goes poop on his own.
I have heard with little girls one reason why they won't use the potty is because it feels good (warm) when they pee.
this is some of what we tried, differnt potty seats, let her pick what she wants to pee in, a timer, started out at 15 mins, and when it went off, it was time to sit on the potty, you need to keep track once she starts going, the time between each one, then the next day increase the time, this worked for my grandson. Actually as for peeing, we started letting our son pee outside, once we got the potty training done then we had to teach him he could only pee outside at home. There is alot more I could go on, but I have to run off to work. But the main thing is to get the BM's under control , it was our sons biggest problem and then things should fall into place. I am home most days after 4pm or in between I can be reached on my cell so feel free to call and as they say two heads are better then one and more is even better
R. Reed
home ###-###-####
cell ###-###-####

Others have given good advice about the potty training and IBS.

I will just add that you shouldn't worry about school in the fall (I assume you are referring to preschool). SOME preschools exclude children who aren't potty trained, but not all. Just do some checking/calling around now to find somewhere that will be understanding if your granddaughter is still not potty trained in the fall. It would be wise to remove this aspect of pressure from the scenario.

I don't know that I can help about the potty training (I have a two-year-old I'm working on right now with only partial success!), but my first thought with the IBS is to ask what her diet is like? I would suggest seeing a naturopathic doctor or reading some good books on diet. I'm afraid most mainstream doctors and mainstream diet books will not be helpful and will only prescribe medicine or something without addressing the root problem. One book I would suggest is "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. You can find it on Amazon.com. It has some excellent info about nutrition. Hope this is helpful!
R.

K.,

Y'all ARE NOT alone. I had this same problem with my son back in Feb. With the great advice from this site he was there in about 6 weeks. I'm adding a link to the advice I got. If y'all have any questions please email me at ____@____.com://www.mamasource.com/request/8244745171971866625

Hope this helps,
Melissa

take the pull-ups off and they will choose not to sit in potty! I had to bring my bottle of cleaner and a towel to target and trust me it was not fun! I think when we talk them up too much they don't understand just let them understand it on there own. What dose her Dr.say? There could be more to the problem. Your a good grandma your granddaughter is lucky!
-A.