I have a 4 year son who has been potty trained since 2 years 9 months. He has been fully trained day and NIGHT for 6 months. I have had several pee pee accidents just out of forgetfulness during play time, pretty normal. Up until lately I have never had a poopie accident. The past 2-3 weeks he has pooped his pants every other day or so. I am pretty sure the reason is due to my husband being away. He is active duty Navy and is now on deployment, so he will be away 6-9 months. This will be the first time my son will remember him being away. We are also out of a normal environment. We have been living with my mother-in-law for 5 months now, we will be moving at the end of the year to Japan. This year has been nothing normal or steady in anyway, I am also preparing for a jaw reconstruction surgery that may change my appearance. He is very happy and has grown emotionally very much this year, but I can't help but think all this change is piling up on him. He will be starting school in 2 weeks and I would like to find a way to get him on the potty again when he needs to go poopie. Any and all suggestions are welcome I am at a dead end on my solutions to the problem.
I.:
Have you tried telling him that he is "the man of the house now" since daddy is away. Also the "men of the house" go to the bathroom whenever they have to tinkle and poopie. Sometimes thinking that they are the "man of the house" makes them want to act like the "man of the house". I hope that your son returns to being potty trained 100%.
P. S
The moving to Japan sounds like a wonderful experience your about to embark on. I had two of my little boys have some relapse on pee and poop at ages 4 and 5 a few times. So sometimes it can happen for many reasons changes taking place I just used to chalk it up to they've been potty trained less time then say me so they are bound to have a relapse or accident. I can say when sleep times changed with them or being sick it seemed like they'd have accidents. I figure it's just part of being a kid. My sister is 8 yr older then me and she recalls even when I was 4 having accidents at times. It happens and it's just something then can be worked on but it doesn't seem like he's being very different then a lot of other children, it does happen.
It is not uncommon for children to relapse around age 4 or 5 with potty training. Just try to be as patient with him as you can. I know it's really frustrating. I was not happy when my daughter started having poopy accidents. It is so gross and frustrating after going so long without accidents. Fortunately she outgrew it quickly. As for the other life changes, children are very resilient. Just keep your home routine as normal as you can despite all the life changes. He'll be fine in the long run. I moved around a lot growing up when my father was in the Air Force. It didn't scar me. :-) I wish you the best with all this.
What worked for me in a situation similar to this with my daughter was to not get upset, send her into the bathroom and have her clean herself and her clothes up herself. Of course I made sure the panties did not get flushed down the commode but she had to do it. After a couple of times doing this clean up she never pooped in her pants again. When I stopped letting her "push my buttons" she decided it was easier to use the pottie for this. V.
Well you've definitely figured out the reasoning behind all of this more than likely. The only thing I can think of that *might* stop him (I'm sure you are already very compassionate about what he is dealing with right now) is having him clean up the mess himself. I don't know if you are doing it for him or not, but just very empathically and very nicely have him clean it up or ask him how he is going to clean it up. My sister went through this with her 2nd child (newly divorced) and she had her child clean it up herself and she stopped...of course this was going in the bed at night, but this might perhaps work? It's the only thing that came to mind.
Hi I., I feel your pain. My husband is stationed out of Japan in the Navy. He's on a carrier right now so even if we did go to Japan, we wouldn't see him too often so I decided to stay here near the grandparents so they could get to know them. My kids are five and three now. My husband has been stationed in Japan for about two years now and we've only seen him once last Christmas. It's hard! My son started school while daddy was away and we had behavior problems. The thing that changed my son was letting him know that daddy was not happy that he was causing problems in school and making mommy upset. Being bad made daddy upset and of course he didn't want daddy to be upset at him. He was left in charge... man of the house and wanted to make daddy proud of him so he changed his attitude. I'm not saying he's perfect or anything but we didn't have problems at school. Aside from that, I would let him know what would happen if he goes to school and has an accident. It's harsh but you know how kids can be. Make sure he understands what you are going to be going through and how he has to be the "man of the house" for you because you won't be able to do things for a while. He has to be like daddy and daddy doesn't go in him pants. I hope it works. Good Luck!
I have an almost 4 yr old and he is put on the potty every day at the same time. Before bed and before nap. Cause this is the time of the day that he usually needs to go poop. So to avoid having to get him up after bed time I put him there until he goes. Does your son go on schedule? if so you can put him on the potty at that time with a book and have him sit there until he goes.
What part of Japan are you moving to? I live in Okinawa, Japan. I may be able to give you a few tips to make your transition a great one. Sorry I don't have much for your son's issue though. It sounds like just stress and he will get through it. Keep your head up. Good Luck. SMILE!!R.
