Potty Problem - East Saint Louis,IL

Please do not use punitive measures like spankings or timeouts. This can really backfire. I had a well meaning educator who told me I just had to be tough with my strong willed boy on potty training. I tried to force the issue. He ended up constipated on medicine for over a year. He was horrible in school because he didn't feel well.

The constipation is a self fulfilling cycle. When he pooped it hurt so he withheld which made it hurt worse. When this happens kids have an aversion to going at all because they know it will hurt. It is self preservation. He eventually potty trained on his own schedule at about 4. I tried everything to potty train him - stickers charts, videos, candy, etc. He was so strong willed he had to do it when he wanted to do it. Incredibly bright kids can also be very strong willed.

Also, making her responsible for cleaning herself is good. Don't make potty training a negative experience. You have a very young baby. This can also cause some family issues as well. Your daughter has been the "baby" for over 3 years. My son and daughter were closer in age than your children. However, he definitely saw some advantages to being the baby. Pointing out what things that big kids can do that babies can't is good too. As well as reaffirming to her nicely that big kids use the potty to poop and pee. Isn't being a big girl great!

The upside was that his sister who was 19 months younger trained really fast because she memorized all the potty training videos. I did not believe that my son would ever become potty trained even though everyone said he would. Luckily his birthday is in the fall so the cut off for getting him into school was later as well.

Good luck

My niece was the exact same with her pooping on the potty. She was over 3 when she discovered that it didn't hurt to go on the potty. Sometimes they just need some extra comfort. A friend's daughter did the same and her Dr suggested putting a diaper on her when she needed to go and then she out grew that, she decided on her own to use the potty. Sometimes kids need to figure things out for themselves.

Hi A., I can totally relate to your problem! My son did the SAME THING! He would hide in his room and poop all the time! We were afraid he wouldn't be able to go to kindergarden because of this. Part of the problem with our son was it would hurt to poop, so he wouldn't for days. So finally when he would go it would be huge and alot of it! The doctor told me to have him sit on the pottie many different times in the day. Like in the early stages try every hour or so. Give her something to do (look at a book, a special toy, anything to keep them busy). I even was told about a special "poop toy" that you would only get to play with while you were pooping!! That did help alot! Make it something cool that she would really like to play with. We also had to start him on something call Miralax (it's now over the counter) and you just mix a small amount up into some juice or what ever (it's tasteless) and have her drink it. It's not a laxative, but it is a stool softner. If it dosen't hurt so much, she may tend to want to poop more. I hope it helps! Try to be calm. They say they will do it when they are ready. You know kids!! Good luck!!

When I had this same problem with my (now 49 yr.) daughter, the peditrician told me to relax. He said this was an attention getting behavior. So I let up on her. Back then we didn't have the pullups that are available now.I put training pants on her and ignored the behavior. Praised her greatly for when she did use the potty but never a negative response or "Your going to be the only one at school with baby pullups." It only took a month or so before whe was using the potty. Make sure she is getting plenty of positive time with you and hubby. Let up on the negative respnses and focus on the positive. It might work

Hi A., my name is L. and 23. I live in Glen Carbon IL, the city next you. I am not married and don't have any children but my cousin went through the same thing. She didn’t want to go potty till she was 5. WE didn't know what to do, so we let her go around with regular cloths no diaper, but that is about it. Anyway I am a Christian too, and will be praying for you, I hope it will help.

Dear A.
I had a niece who was having the same problem she got to the point that she would not go at all so we had to start laxatives. We found out what the problem was that she was afraid of the water splashing up and hitting her behind when she went. To solve this we allowed her to use a potty chair until she was a little older and wasn't as afraid.