Potty Mouth

My 2 1/2 year old daughter started repeating my very popular sh-t word, which was really embarassing considering I am a teacher. Right away I deleted the word from my vocab. I started to substitute the word for other words such as Oopsie Daysies, Ay Ay Ay, Oops Oy Vey, Geeze Louise, Oh No, are just a few of what we use now. She has somewhat forgotten about the other word. I also told her that the other word, without making a big deal, was a word we were not going to say anymore.

It's a hard habit to break! Okay When my son was 2, he's now 5, he started in with a few of the worst ones. It was baaad. What I did, and it seemed to work, was word replacement. Instead of yelling and making him remember the whole scene...i said "Yes honey the "ocean" is pretty"...or "no son you don't need a "fork" right now" and pretty soon the ocean WAS pretty and he DID need a fork lol it was cute :)

Young children repeat what they hear. It is unfortunate that we cannot control what is heard outside our homes. (Sometimes it is difficult to control what words are used by others in our homes too.) Also the potty "jokes" are some of the first jokes learned. My almost 3 yr old just started "poo-poo head" and similar terms recently.

No mater what the words or phrases are there are only three ways of dealing with it. 1. Ignore (Use only if it is done for attention and they know better.) 2. Educate - Tell them the words aren't nice and aren't ok. Tell them that these words hurt others feelings. This is one of the better choices in public and best done loud enough for all to hear. 3. Punish - This is never the favorite and is always less than ideal for this situation. Make it age appropriate. I suggest telling your child that you/we don't want to be around people that use that language. Either go away so you can't hear (and he doesn't get the pleasure of your company) or send him away (time out) so he can't subject you to that language.

No matter what you do the purpose is to teach your child that these words aren't nice and that most of us don't want to be around it. Best of luck to you.

Hi. Don't make a big deal out of it. If you make a big deal out of it then you're really imprinting what was said in his head. Just redirect your child's focus. He's only 2, it's a phase. Just make sure he's not learning inappropriate vocabulary from somewhere else.

Hi S., you said you work full time, which I will assume your child is with some one else during the day. Almost 2 doesn't learn to have a potty mouth on their own, they learn that by listening to pthers talk, my advice is to make sure who ever is watching your son, who ever comes into your home, and who you have around your son that there is no unapproptiate talk. Also what is your son maybe watching on TV, or what kind of music is beeing played in the car. I am a day care provider, and some of my parents pull up to the house with the music turned up, all kinds of daragatory messages and bad language, this is what some of my day care kids are listening to on their way to daycare. Children learn only what they hear see, and by the examples of those around them. J..

My best advice: ignore ignore ignore. give absolutely no credit to the words. if he tries to get a reaction act like you've never heard the words before in your life!!! sounds like you've already said they are wrong. at this point, just pretend he's speaking a foreign language. do not respond until he changes his words, but don't prompt, just ignore until he says the right things. worked for my stubborn attention seeker ; )

My 3 year old son started saying alot of "potty" words in regular conversation just out of the blue not long ago. He would say them even when I gently asked him not to, because he wanted to see how far and how long he could get away with it. I finally had had enough, so I told him if he couldn't keep his mouth from saying yucky words, I would have to help him out by washing his mouth out with soap. He didn't believe me, as he did it again not long later. So, I really didn't want to, but I knew I had to follow thru-- I took a clean bar of Dove soap and wet it just alittle. Then I asked him to stick out his tongue and I just wiped it across his tongue once-- enough for him to taste it. He cried and cried and drank lots of water, but you know what?? He has never said those words again! Just an idea that worked for me!!

Hi S.,

I have 3 children, also (16, 14, 3). My youngest son had the same issue! I know it can be quite embarrassing but we've managed to break the habit. At first we would get upset but that only seemed to amuse him and he'd say the words more! What actually worked for us was just completely ignoring it (and making sure we were watching OUR language!). That took about a week & then it just seemed to stop. If he says "Oh, sh**" we calmly say "oh, that's not nice...we should say Oh, shoot." We also make sure to tell him that it's not O.K. for mommy & daddy to say that either. Now, if we slip up he tells us, "that's not nice." I know all kids are different but that worked for us. Good Luck!

R.

My 4 year old was using potty talk all the time, thinking it was hysterical. I asked his preschool teacher how they handled potty talk in school. The tell them that if they want to use those words, they need to go to the bathroom, since that is where we go pee and poop. Otherwise, we do not use those words. Potty talk is happening ALOT less now. It was rather amazing and so simple. Not sure a 2.5 year old will get that, but you never know.

I walk with a friend whose daughter attends a different preschool. Potty talk was a problem at her house too. I told her what my son's teacher told me, and it is working great.

Another mom, who uses this laugh's, because her son will go to the bathroom, request a bath, and sit in that tub saying all the potty words. When he done with the bath, the talk stops.

What I find is happening is that potty talk is not to fun in the bathroom now. We have been doing this for a few months, and like my sons friend who is all about taking a loooooong bath, my son is rather bored with the talk alone in the bathroom and is sort of moving on.

No Offense but he learned those words somewhere, so stop letting who ever is cussing in the presence of your son to do so. You need to be a good example. M.

Have you heard of Turrett's Syndrome? You may want to research the condition on the internet, as well as take him to his pediatrician for testing. Good Luck!

He must have learned that potty mouth somewhere... I recommend that you change what you say and ask others around you to do the same. To set a good example.

My Daughter was 3 1/2 when she found a couple of words that she would say together... I don't even want to say them... because we both know where she heard them... :) I had the summer to get them out of her vocabulary before she started preschool at 4. I switched the letters and changed the words to Truckin Cash and we told her that when she used the other version she would not be allowed to watch TV... any trade that is important to your son should work. It worked for her. Now at almost 6 she still knows that some words you just don't say or else no TV. She can be super sassy sometimes at 5 and I really have let her get away with more than I should have because I am home alone with her a lot and I'm not the best at discipline but on occasion a good scrub with baking soda on a wet toothbrush does the trick... It whitens her teeth and tastes terrible. :) Good Luck

Hi S.,

I agree with the others....children are imitators...they repeat what they see and hear...it's how they learn.

My son is 7 1/2 yrs old and has yet to ever repeat a bad word. He knows that even stupid and idiot are not allowed because they are degrading to others. If he hears something at school he'll ask me what it means and we discuss it...whether it's an ok word or bad word.

So you really need to see who is around your son and who is influencing him. If it's other older children around him, they need to be told as well that certain words are not allowed in your house, and are not to ever be used at all. You said you work full time...does that mean he's at day care all day? Then I'd be questioning those in charge of the day care what they are allowing to go on where language is concerned. The kids should be learning respect for one another as they learn to interact and play..... they shouldn't be allowed to be saying inappropriate words...especially at their young age!

As far as breaking the habit...only you can know what works for your 2 yr. old son to get him to stop. If he has certain toys or something else that he likes....that can be threatened to be taken away if he doesn't stop using his potty mouth? Maybe time outs every time a bad one comes out of his mouth?

If he is very verbal and has great comprehension then maybe you can sit down with him and tell him why these words are bad....and that consequences will take place if he doesn't stop.

The flip side of all of this....is he doing it specifically for attention??? Has he caught on, knowing full well that when he's potty mouthing that he gets attention - good or bad - it's still attention.
If he's been told why it's bad, and does it anyway because of the attention, then some form of punishment will have to take place for him to get that it's the WRONG way to go about trying to get that attention.

But removing the 'source' of him learning all of the potty mouth words to begin with - is the first place to start.

Good luck....he's still young but hopefully compliant.

God Blessen

A child mimics his parents, even when his parents don't know that the child is listening. This may simply be a matter of being more aware what is coming out of your mouth and talking to him about what is appropriate coming out of his. When my son came home from pre-school saying words that I found inappropriate, I explained to him that some words are not okay. They hurt mommy's feelings and make other people feel bad too. After explaining to him that some words are bad and that if he said them he would be in time out, I had to talk to his teacher about what words are being said in her classroom or on the playground. We can't stop our children from hearing words that we would rather they didn't, but we can limit their exposure and tell them when something is wrong and will be punished. Once or twice in time out should do the trick at this age.

Hey make sure you don't set an example & then ignore it. Don't give it any attention at all. Above keep your sense of humor. All parents have been through this one! My Wise Grandmother who was born in 1902 once made my sis-in-law feel a lot better about her 2 yr old's mouth when she told Sis that "I can't believe what they learn on Sesame Street"
As a 50+ yr old mother & nurse,I can tell you is that any one who ever said "terrible twos" never raised a teenager! Have fun with your little one.

It means not exposing him to movies, t.v., places where people curse freely.

My son started saying a bad word at 10 months because he heard his father use it in traffic when someone cut him off on the freeway.

I waited until he said the word again, got up really quickly and held his hands and asked him to look at me and said "I dont like that word. Dont say that word again its not a nice word" and he stopped.

Don't make a big deal out of it when he says something inappropriate. It might be the reaction that is causing additional action. Ignore him for a bit. Then say, "you could say this instead...try it." And when he says something else, praise him profusely.

Ask the teachers in pre-school, too. They'll have ideas on what to do.

At that age, it is extinguishing behavior things I would do through ingoring and praising when appropriate words are used.

I am a new mom, so you are very much a pro, compared to me. However, I am around children and I know they repeat what they hear. Any chance your little one is around people who are using these not so appropriate words? Kids are kids, but maybe it wouldn't be such a problem if he didn't hear the words so often from other sources? Just a thought! Good luck with your little one. I am sure this will pass :)

Where did your son learn this language? That's the more important issue. I have a four and a half year old son who still thinks "stupid" is the worst word you can ever say. :-) He has never been exposed to any cursing or bad language anywhere. So remove the negative influence and I think you've got your problem solved.

I remember when my twins were that age and did the same thing. We had all the support with the babysitters, family, and friends helping me. We would just be on them all the time. we would just keep reminding them that it is not right to say those words. And we would give them postive words instead. It didn't take to long for the twins to get it. And we would make sure that they wouldn't go around anyone who was saying those words. We even started to watch what we would be saying too. Maybe you could get the same kind of support.

I have always felt that humans love the shock value of words and action. As a mother of four, I have always learned that when you call attention to behaviors you re-inforce those behaviors, positive and negative. Your two year old is learning to master speech. He is learning from you, his parents. I always amazes me how shocked parents are when their children speak like them, but get in trouble for it. This is very confusing for them. How does a two yoear old know what he is saying right or wrong? You have taught him what to say. You are "Gods" in his eyes and he wants to be just like you.Focus on how you want him to speak by prasing his appropriate use of language, ignore the rest!!!!!
Just my opinion, I could be wrong....
Sincerly, M.

Well you can not let him be around cursing and start a cursing jar for the whole family, and if her little one uses the potty give him a nickel for each time using the potty and put it in a piggy he can get money out of easy and make him use his money for each curse but you and your WHOLE family must do it.

My experience:

My daughter has a habit for the F and S word. Never leave your kid alone with people who use curse words unless you want this to happen, been there done that. My brother is no longer allowed around her at all because he taught her them. Mean yes but he knew the rules no cruising around her no bad behavior or no more niece even if his wife has to suffer he will learn some day you don't teach other peoples kids how to curse.

Good luck though.

I have 2 sons, and my 4 year old at about the same age as yours would do the exact same thing...and they use it in context..well the more I or anyone else would respond to it then the more he would do it for the reaction...So I simply ignored it at home, didn't over react and gave both our family a new word to use...so instead of a 4 letter word...we would use something funny....it was hard to change but you notice that even when you wanna curse but say something silly you laugh and forget what made you mad...our little ones learn by example so soon mine would use funny phrases and everyone just laughed and he got some positive attention, which everyone loves!!!! Good luck!!!