Potty Fears

Updated on December 13, 2012
S.L. asks from Rochester, NY
4 answers

My daughter is going on 5 years old and she seems to never want to use the potty. Is that normal? I don't think it is. She will hold it and hold it, doing the potty dance and wiggles and I ask her if she needs to go potty, and she says, 'No.' "then why are you doing the potty dance?" "because I like to dance this way." She will wiggle and wiggle and when I take her to the potty, she would scream and refuse to go, even if I sit her down on the toilet. She has refused so much, that she has started having accidents. She's doing the same thing at her preschool. Bounce around and wiggle 'dance' and when asked if she has to go, the answer is always no.
I know I'll be needing her to her doctor for her yearly physical and I'll be asking her doctor about this, but has anyone else have the same problem?

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More Answers

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

It's common if kids are playing to put off going. More fun to dance around and play. You need to just say, " You need to run to the bathroom now" and see that she goes. I had a son that did that because he couldn't take time out from his busy life to go and he would go outside to play and have accidents once in awhile. I would watch out the door and have to call him in the house to go.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Could it be an embarrassment/privacy thing?

My nephew is 4 1/2 and he's just started this phase where he's shyer and more embarrassed about bathroom issues. What I do with him is whisper, "I'll create a distraction, and you can run and use the potty and no one else will know." Which gives me a chance to jump up and down and shout "yada yada yada." Fun times.

My 6-year-old son will whisper "I have to use the b-a-t-h-r-o-o-m," since, you know, no one else alive today can spell.

This is developmentally normal and healthy, but it comes out in all kinds of weird ways.

I wonder if your daughter would benefit from a similar distraction or code word or something.

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C.B.

answers from Houston on

Maybe she has a uti? She could be avoiding pain? Make her a doc appt...they should have her pee in a cup.

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H.B.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it's potty fears. Most kids don't want to stop playing to go use the potty. Thinking they can put it off and it turns out that they can't. My son at 4 years old kept peeing when playing video games. It was hard to get him to realize he can always pause the game. I really can't blame him though...I hold it myself. I don't know why, but I will get a drink of water if I'm thirsty...yet I'll put off using the bathroom when I need to. I've always have been that way, such a procrastinator.

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