Hi there,
Thank you to all of you for your support on my post about depression, stomach troubles, etc. I went to the family doctor who diagnosed postpartum depression, and anxiety. I suspected for the last several months that I was suffering from this, but kept pushing it under the rug, chalking it up to hormones. Plus, some days were okay, I had energy, felt happy, so on those days I dismissed things. However, the anger should have been a dead give away. I have been so horrible to my husband and sometimes even my kids. I waited so long, and that was unfair to myself and my family.
I decided to try going on a low dose of Zoloft. I am nervous about taking it...I am on day two and have had a few dizzy spells which, of course, raised my anxiety even more. I have to make myself more aware of PPD...for example, today I had a really low appetite and at times felt overwhelmingly tired,and weak...but other times felt ok. I still worry a lot about my stomach problems, but all three family doctors diagnosed irritable bowel syndrome and said they wanted to see if the Zoloft helped with it. I tend to lose weight in my face so a few people have commented that I look thin....which also raises my anxiety, and makes me start cycling in to a slew of negative thoughts that something terrible is wrong. But, between a low appetite and breastfeeding full time...I am of course going to shed pounds.
In any case, thank you to all of you for your support. I am feeling like I am doing a great job of holding myself and my family together, but I feel like a shadow of myself and long for happier days, days when I feel strong and healthy, and energetic.
Good for you for seeing your doctor!
It takes a few weeks to feel the full effect of your medication.
I know I began feeling a lot better at the 2 week mark - like I said it felt like the hair on the back of my neck could stop standing on end all the time.
Give it some time.
You should be feeling better for the holidays!
Don't feel so down on yourself. I have a friend that had the same. She was diagnosed 17 months after her son was born.
Baby steps and one day at a time. Those negative feelings and thoughts are the ghosts of the depression. focus on doing your best today, congratulate yourself for what you have accomplished.
Every time you have those negative thoughts ask yourself - would you talk to some one else the way you are talking to yourself? If the answer is no - knock it off! LOL. Be as kind and gentle with you as you would an ailing friend. You're doing good - good luck!
Another thought... did your doctor check your thyroid levels? I know it sounds like a wacky question, but it doesn't hurt to check, and some/all of your symptoms may in fact be coming from hypothyroid. I say this because I had horrible PPD with my first child, as well as some of the tummy troubles, anxious and negative thoughts, extreme exhaustion, low appetite, poor sleep, fuzzy brain... on and on it went. People kept saying patronizing things like, "That's what it's like being a mom!" Well, let me tell you, it didn't get better. For years! Finally, someone here on Mamapedia suggested I have my thyroid checked, and I did. Turns out my pregnancies had triggered a hypothyroid condition, and ALL of the symptoms I was experiencing were triggered by my thyroid. I wish I had known that years before. I could have saved myself years of trouble and felt so much better.
So... if that isn't something you've had checked, please do. Just to be sure.
Best of luck!
