I am so sorry you are having a rough time right now. You are going through a lot right now, and it's totally understandable why you are feeling this way. My mother in law had some ppd after my sister in law was born 20 years ago. Back then, the doctors didn't check for that sort of thing with every new mom like they do now. She was paranoid, and felt that people were trying to steal her baby from her, and actually got to the point where she was unable to sleep, for fear that someone would take her. Anyway, she waited a long time before she actually told her doctor about this, and was prescribed a medication (I'm not sure which one). She was also breastfeeding. She took the med. for 6 weeks and then was gradually weaned off of it. She felt way better and never had a problem after that. I would suggest that you go ahead and take it for a short while, then gradually wean off of it. Also, if you told your OB that you are breastfeeding, then she would have prescribed a med. that is not passed through your milk. So it will be safe for both of you. It sounds like you could use all the help you can get right now. Good luck, and if you need someone to talk to, please send me a message. :)