Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

I'd be more afraid of living with these feelings, than a label of PPD or PTSD or whatever - as long as it meant getting help. I think councelling is a MUST at this point. The best thing is to be HONEST with your doctor; hopefully you have a good doctor you can feel safe with and trust. In the meantime, reach out. There are so many on-line forums with women who have gone through what you have. Look for them, read them, share with them. Sometimes just knowing we're NOT ALONE can make a HUGE difference in perspective and help us heal.

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It's hard for other people to understand what you are going through if they have not gone through it themselves, period. You cant hold that against them. There are MANY people that think women who get sick or have pain all through pregnancy are faking it for attention. It's unfortunate that we have people that do believe like that.
You sound strong to me, you know what happened and you did survive it.
How you get over it or when is going to be your personal decision.
What are you gaining by feeling resentful?
You have a great story to tell when women start talking about their pregnancies and my guess is that you went through this because someone is going to come across your path one day that will be experiencing the same thing and guess who will be there to understand and help her through it? YOU.
Don't expect the family to give you applause.
We applaud you here tho. Clap Clap Clap.
You are a survivior and don't put stock in what the others are thinking.
This could have just as easily been a car wreck that took a year to come back from as well, you cant beat these things into the ground.
Let it go, but I'm pretty sure I would not get pregnant again, right? Seems like even looking at a big round belly might make you want to gag...
I bet when you let this go, it will. It will softly float away and you will find yourself not obsessing on it anymore and you will finally feel relieved and take that big deep breath with a sigh of accomplishment.
Prayers for strength.

I puked every day, at least 3 times, for 8 1/2 months. I worked in child care and could barely function. It was bad for me and I can only imagine how hard this was for you since it was obviously much, much worse.

I worked in the field of Developmental Disabilities for many years and was attacked by consumers on lots of occasions. When a person is institutionalized they become less of a person and tend to react badly when they are under stress. I don't blame these people for their actions. I ended up in the hospital ER once and the next day I totally broke down in class at college. I called my friend and met her at the Library and I couldn't go in the door. I'd be trapped and couldn't get out...I went in the hospital that day and got out a day later with meds to help with the anxiety and it took several years but I eventually just got over it. I have had no regular meds in years and, even though I still do some of my avoidance behaviors, I can usually function well in most situations.

I hate being trapped at signal lights unless I am in front on the right side so I can turn right after stop if I want to get out of traffic...I sit by the door in all situations, church, meetings, class, movies, plays, etc...I am always in the back half in the seat by the aisle. I can do public speaking again if I am in control of where I stand and have my exit strategy in place in my mind, if I need to get out I can step out for a moment, I am always by the door. I found that performing in my singing group really helped, these ladies knew my issues and they always just smiled and moved where ever I needed the group to stand, if I needed to walk away they just kept singing and when I came back they just moved a part a bit and I was back singing.

What I think helped most was the singing in the group to help me over come the anxiety. I had a well protected feeling and was able to stretch the wings a bit...If I failed it was no big deal.

What I'm trying to say is it made me get out of my comfort zone but in a somewhat safe way so could get stronger and eventually be able to do it without thinking my exit plans out over and over in preparation of going anywhere. The preparatory anxiety is the worst part of anxiety disorders.

Anxiety disorders can eat you alive and then you think about that verse in the Bible, Luke 21, about Men's hearts failing them out of fear...it took on new meaning to me. I just knew I was going to have a heart attack or something like that just from the fear of sitting at church on the bench that was 5 feet from the door instead of the one directly by the door.

If you don't get treatment for this anxiety, whether it be meds, therapy, counseling, etc...it won't go away for a long time and you CAN live better now if you treat this now. There are tons of anti anxiety meds out there and some are really good, they just keep you on an even keel and you don't feel like you've taken anything. Paxil is one of those, it made me itch all over but I took some others that were just as good.

Just know, you will feel normal again, it will take some time but it WILL come.

H.,

My kids have issues, and we have been to many psychiatrists, and I really think that if you went to one, they would listen to you and would not diagnose you with a condition just because you have just had a baby, they are going to hear what you have to say, and help you with appropriate treatment for your trauma from your experience, and that description does not sound anything like PPD at all. I would really encourage you to find treatment, you will likely have some considerably therapy and many choices of medical treatment to try, and there is going to be something that will help you. Once you feel better, a little couples counseling and maybe family therapy could help you deal with the lasting issues and move on with less stress and forgive them for what has happened to you.

Labels don't hurt people. What matters is what kind of treatment you get and whether it makes you feel better. Once you are in therapy, non of your discusion is going to be about PPD, it is going to be about how you feel, and what happened to you, and not about any lable. Don't worry about that, and don't let that be a reason that you suffer any longer. Call a psychiatrist, and get on the road to feeling better.

I wish you well.

M.

You know, if it were me, I'd be happy to have a label. If it's PPD or PTSD, it isn't YOU, it's something that is happening to you. However, in your case, having a label would be stressful, so try not to focus on that.

I think you are really angry, and you have a right to be. Getting help -- a good therapist -- would go a long way to defusing the anger and figuring out how to move forward. It is possible that medication would help, so you should also talk to your doctor. Getting therapy, getting meds -- these are not signs of weakness, but signs of strength. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to get better. Leaving things the way they are will only make things worse.

You are the mother of three and one of them is a baby -- just THAT is really hard. Add all the other stuff and you are in an incredibly difficult situation. Get help so that it can be better and you can be happy without the flashbacks, anxiety, anger, and sadness. I wish you all the best, and want you to know that I think you are really tough and resilient and I admire you for your strength.

There are a lot of forms and levels of PPD. I had severe anxiety... I was not depressed but I was scared of EVERYTHING! Riding in the car, baby getting sick, etc etc etc. PPD is not just depression, feeling sad, or the thought of harming yourself or your child. It comes in many forms. Call your doctor. They will HELP!

Even if they call it Gladys or Geranium,
whatever it is you're experiencing would be helped
by working with a therapist or counselor.
If you want to, you can state strongly, in the introductory session,
that whatever it is that's bothering you,
you do not want to HEAR the term (ppd shhhh) applied to your situation.
You're in a major metropolitan area.
There are multiple universities and other resources.
You sound like a strong, intelligent person.
I think, with a little exploration (I LOVE GOOGLE),
you'll be able to find a therapist who'll work with you
who won't feel any need to describe your experience as PPD.
Good luck.

I had a rough pregnancy and a traumatic birth experience. A few months after the birth, I was diagnosed with PTSD with severe anxiety. I have medicine I can take and I also attend therapy – that combination has helped me. It does take time but I am glad I was proactive about it. The longer I waited, the longer it went on and the more miserable I was. Almost 17 months later, I am still not “healed” but I am better and I am stronger.

I recommend getting help now, not being ashamed of any “label” and being proactive about it. I am sorry to hear about your experience. I wish you the best. I know the one thing that helped me was talking to people – especially those who really did understand. You can email me anytime. I’m here and I understand.

Don't worry right now about what to call your feelings. All that matters is that you start talking to a professional about your feelings, now.

I am so sorry for what you went through. I would feel the same resentment and anger as you do. After talking to someone about this and getting help, I really really think you should speak on this and educate people on the reality of sickness and the severity of it that some have during pregnancy. This could be very empowering and therapeutic. So many do not understand and downplay it. Maybe speaking or teaching a class at the area hospitals would be an option. Also, please make sure to get "me" time. I know this is hard with 3 kids. I finally started working out after I put my 1 year old to bed and I have my husband put the other 2 to bed. This has worked wonders for me...I am a much better mom and wife when I exercise. Best wishes.

I'm sorry for the awful pregnancy you went through. Relational difficulties and a lack of support are really hard, too. I put a link to a website that might help you. God bless you! You're not alone.
http://www.solaceformothers.org/index.html

If you think you will get better without help then don't go. But it doesn't seem that you will b/c you are so upset up about this still. Are you postpartum maybe? Tell your doctor and get a recommendation of someone you can talk to about this. DOesn't make sense not to. If you can't do it for yourself do it for your kids.

Want to add-did you want them to stop eating because you couldn't eat? You need to seperate the realistc argument from the unrealistic. I

I could've wrote that letter two to three decades ago. With each pregnancy. My husband was a workoholic. Mother and mother-in-law would seem resentful for having to babysit while I was hospitalized. After my first delivery I almost bled to death, was not given blood and spent months trying to regain my strength. Our son was very sick and colicky. Required surgery when he was a few months old.
And yet I went on to try for more children. That's another story for another time.

You are very strong - don't sell yourself short. And you have a right to be angry. A counselor may be able to help you find that forgiveness you seek.
And maybe a little marriage counseling would be a good thing. Your husband is probably selling himself short for not being able to provide for his family at this time. How was he with your previous pregnancies?
Your in-laws even though more than willing to help at this time by letting you move in, may be feeling resentful for having to help as well. I have been on that end as well now. I would do anything for them and was glad to be there when they needed to move home again, but would miss the freedom and the quiet of that empty nest. Even the financial strain on them could have caused stress on their end.
I even understand not wanting to be in counseling. I prided my self on my strength and always being able to pull myself through. It was so hard to let go and admit, this time I couldn't do it on my own. Pride goeth before the fall. All this will heal faster with counseling, do it for the health of the entire family.
I can also assure you that this too shall pass and that time will heal all wounds, even the IV scars. But stretch marks are forever! :-)

Too me this does not sound like PTSD. I think you have a lot of anger though about your family not being there for you. I think you should consider going to a councilor for a few solo sessions, and than possibly bringing hubby along as well so he can understand how alone you felt.

wow you have every reason to be pissed off an very resentful...first talk to your doctor-then go see a therapist-you an your babies life was on the line an noone jumped in to help??...SHAME ON THEM!!!!...mainly your hubby...you may need a mild antidepressant along with some therapy...glad you an the baby pulled thru ok-even without the much needed help of your family...if it wouldve been me-once i was on my feet-id leave them all in the dust.good luck to you