Nightmares: Fear of Going to Bed Alone

Ok, this idea may sound silly, but I have seen it work :) Get a small spray bottle, decorate the outside with some permanent markers or how ever you would like. Draw a Monster on it with the Crossed out sign (No Smoking sign) Then write something to the effect of Monster Repelent. Fill it with a bit of water and next time you go to the store, slip it in the bag so she thinks you bought it. Give it to her at night and tell her its ONLY for if she sees a monster. Also, have you ever heard of a dreamcatcher? Let her pick one out and hang over her bed, tell her it will help her have good dreams and take away the bad ones :) Hope this helps :)

My oldest son had this same problem. For us, fixing it was too easy. I just told him that if he wanted to make sure he has good dreams all he has to do is think of something he loves just before he falls asleep. So now before bed he sort of chants..."I like ice cream...I like ice cream... I like ice cream..." He woke up the next morning and said..."It worked! Now before bed every night he says different things. I can even hear him sometimes in the middle of the night saying " I love" and whatever it is that he wanted to dream about next... It is really too cute and it worked for him. Good luck to you with this....
Steph

Your poor daughter! What an awful nightmare for such a young one to have to deal with.

When one of my daughters is scared at bedtime (doesn't happen too often), I sit with them and we talk about happy, exciting things. This gets their minds going in a positive direction and then I give them something really fun to dream about. For example, I'll say, "Why don't you try and dream about what you think Santa will bring you for Christmas next year" or "See if you can have a dream about what you'd like to do next time we go to Disneyland" or "Dream about all the fun things you like to do when we go to the beach." I tell them that I want to hear all about their happy dreams in the morning. This usually does the trick.

If you've gotten your daughter past the habit of needing to be next to you to fall asleep, do not go back to co-sleeping! This will teach her that you don't think she can handle being on her own. And once she believes that, it'll be extremely difficult to get back to where you are now.

Validate her feelings (I know you're upset, that was a very scary dream), but talk about the difference between real and pretend. I play this game constantly with my newly 3 year old daughter. Pick any old thing (alligators, dinosaurs, monsters) and ask her, "Are they real or pretend?" She'll feel like a big girl for knowing the difference and you enforce the idea that pretend things can't hurt us.

Good luck!

I practiced attachment sleep until 2 years and found that after that, no matter what, my daughter could manipulate the situation. These babies are smart and want you to bee with them as much as possible. You don;t want to hear this, but you might have to go back ton harsh regulations. Tell her you love aher and will be there for her, but if she wakes from a nightmare, you only talk to her form the doorway, or if close enough, your bedroom. Reassure her you love her and are there for her, but you will not come into the room. The clearer you are, the quicker she will respond and go back to sleep on her own. She will be fine in the long run, and will respond quicker if you stay in the hallway, and not in her room. Hard to do, but the results speak for themselves. good luck, and remember, Halloween was almost 15 weeks ago......Make sure you talk about her day, in full, just before bedtime so she can relive her day and be happy that you wanted to know what happened. sometimes they just need time to process whats going on. You can also talk about her dreams at this time, and tell her that you will be close throughout the night, she is safe and secure, nothing bad can happen. Good Luck!

My boys are older now, they are 14 and 12, but they both were plagued with bad dreams at nite around the same age as your child. This may sound overly simplistic, but dream catchers really worked in our house. We purchased them at a local native american store and hung them over our children's beds. We told them that all their bad dreams would be caught in the dream catcher and they would only have good dreams. I know it sounds crazy but I swear it worked!

My daughter covered her face with her blankets until she was 7/8 years old! I would have to go into her room after she'd fallen asleep to remove them so she wouldn't sweat so badly! Her closet would also have to be closed all the way-even so today and she in now 9. And nightlight-still uses that every night. I say let them do whatever makes them feel secure. We may think it's silly but their fears are REAL!! Don't know anything about attachment parenting so I can't comment on that other than I grew up sharing a bed with my grandma until I was 18 because we lived in a small 2 bedroom home and I turned out fine! I would not go backwards in your decision. Take her back to her bed until she goes back to sleep and it should pass in time.

Aloha J.,

I am sorry to hear that your precious girl is having bad dreams... My 4 years old girl has similar problem. She does not have that specific monster in her mind yet has nightmares that frustrates her so much that will keep waking her up in the night.

My husband and I discussed about the concern to her class room teacher. She said that there are nightmare and nighterror (sp? sorry, English is my second language).

If it is nightmare, she eventually grow out from it. If it is night-terror, there is a effective therapy.

Difference between two conditions are...
Nightmare: she experience it while she is sleeping. She may make some noise or even screaming while her eyes are closed.

Night-terror: Usually, there is one condition to frighten her. Such as Monster come out from her grandparents head. (Yes, it is very vivid and scary)

I think that your daughter has night-terror. If you think so, I recommend to speak with Pediatrician. Therapy is usually like let a child draw the monster who frighten her/him and tear up the picture of monster...

Hope things get better and you will have a good night sleep :-)

Funny that you post this today because my 4 year old daughter had nightmares after Halloween. She would fall asleep in her bed then come to our bed between midnight and 3am. A month ago she stopped sleeping in her bedroom. She said that there are nightmares and Monsters in there. She has a toddler bed so today moved her bed in our room in hopes to get her back in her bed and then back in her bedroom. My neighbor said that they go threw these phases. Her 7 year old is now scared of natural disasters so I guess that will come next.

Good Luck.