Pooping on the Potty--or Lack Thereof!

After two children of my own I have learned that if you have to use pull ups at night they are not 100% ready to be potty trained. My first child did exactly what you are talking about. What we ended up doing is putting her in undies even at night, just put a mattress cover on the mattress to protect it. Kids will regress when they were not totally ready to begin with. It is normal my oldest daughter was not 100% potty trained until she was 3 and a half also. Just be patient.

C.~Can I relate with you! My son was 3 1/2 years old when my daughter was born. He would hold his bowels and bring me a diaper to put on him and then go poop in the corner...come back to me to change him and then he would wear "big boy" underwear until he needed to poop again. Even when trying to sit him on the potty, he would refuse to go. Very nerve racking. Solution....when my daughter was born and he and I took her to the pediatrician for her first exam, I asked the doctor about our problem. He took my son aside and talked with him. He told him he was now a big brother and a big boy and big boys do not poop in a diaper, they poop in the potty. Told him he needed to learn to poop in the potty so when his sister was old enough she would have a good example. In my opinion I thought the doctor was talking to a brick wall. That same night my son started pooping in the potty and never had an accident. I personally do not believe in pull-ups as this confuses the child and defeats the purpose of potty training. You might try talking to your daughter or having a friend talk to her and go to her doctor and talk to him. (The cost of the doctor visit will pay for itself in lieu of diapers and pull-ups.) I know it worked with my son...much to my surprise. Good luck...I felt like I was fighting a never ending battle but much to my surprise the solution was quite simple. My husband and I had tried for about a year without any progress...one word from the doctor and he was trained. I also purchased a seat that would fit on top of the regular commode so he felt like a big boy, too. Good luck!~S.

THERE IS A CHANCE THAT SOMETHING HAS SCARED HER ABOUT GOING POOPOO. OR MAYBE SHE WAS SOMEWHERE WHERE SOMEONE SHE WAS WITH MAY HAVE SAID SOMEHTING OR SHE MAY HAVE SEEN SOMETHING THAT SCARED HER.

JENNY

you might try not changing her right away. let her sit in it and talk about how yucky it is for a while (as long as you can stand it without letting her get a rash). i was very lucky with my son as he has never had any pooping issues (except that he won't go in public). he turned 3 in july and was trained in may. sat right up there and was so proud. but my best friend's daughter is the same age as yours and she had the same problem. she just let abigail wear the diaper whens he wanted it till she was ready to go on the potty.

you may try buying her a new potty, or putting her in diapers all the time, "because that's what babies wear."

i hope she's good and done with this when your twins are born. good luck.

S.

My two year old daughter regressed to pooping in her panties after I had my baby. Out of sheer frustration one day, I made her help to clean it up. My two year old hates yucky icky things. Not only did it make my life easier, (having her help cleaning up,) it meant that she had to help and touch the yucky icky poop and she did not like it one bit. After three or four "clean ups," she decided to go back to the potty all by herself. Hope it helps you out figure out how to get yours to go in the potty.

The only advice I can offer is positive reinforcement. Usage of reward charts and gummy bears worked for us. Once Celia used the potty she could put a sticker on the chart for that day, and when she got a certain number of stickers we took her to the Dollar store to pick out an inexpensive toy. We also made sure we (literally) jumped up and down when she did use the big girl potty and made a big deal out of what a big girl she was, calling Grandma/Grandpa, etc., and of course we also bought a big bag of Gummy Bears from Sams and she would get a few ONLY if she went on the big girl potty. When we went out to stores, etc. it was a pain, but I carried a cushie Dora potty seat in a large purse/diaper bag so if she had to go she would be more comfortable. She may like the reaction or attention she gets when she does go in her panties, so you may need to just try not to react as much if that is an issue. Pull ups for us just had to go completely, but I wasn't pregnant at the time with twins. I know you must be exhausted in early preganancy bless your heart! Ultimately, she will go in the big girl potty when she is ready or when the decision to go in the big girl potty is just more appealing. Congratulations on your pregnancy!! - M. Margaret

C.,

Even though my daughter, also 3 never went through this, rest assured that this is somewhat normal. I think the worst thing that you could do is to put pressure on her or punish her. You have to use positive encouragement, and have lots and lots of patience!!! Don't worry about what others say and think, either. Slow and steady wins the race when it comes to toilet training. Most likely, your child is fearful of having a BM in the potty for some reason. You can help ease her anxiety just by talking with her and explaining to her that having BM is natural. Also let her know you think she's old enough now to be able to go poopoo on the potty. You can even ask her if she's scared, showing her you genuinely care for her feelings. A great tool for this is a book called Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi. Be careful not to make her feel bad or ashamed about her refusal to have the BM on the potty. I think it's better for her to have the BM in a diaper than to get constipated because she is scared to go on the potty. Try to be patient, I know it's very hard with a 3 year old, but just remember that she won't do this forever!!! She will eventually start to go on the potty, you just need to keep with the gentle encouragement, and don't ever, ever punish her. If she has an accident, you just tell her, that's okay...you're still learning, let's get you cleaned up. Next time try to remember to tell mommy you need to poopoo on the potty. Hang in there. It won't last forever!!!! Congratulations on your twin pregnancy!!!

Hi C.,

Something that I had not thought of until I read it recently was to take the poop from the the diaper/pull up and go flush it down the toilet. There is supposedly somthing about the poop going down the toilet that freaks some kiddos out. So, to show her that it is no big deal, after she poops in her pull up, take it to the toilet and let her watch you flush the poop, or let her flush it. Maybe sing a "poop" song or something like that. But then she can see it go down the drain and see that it is nothing scary. Maybe you have tried that as well, but it was a new concept for me that I just wanted to share. Good luck....keep us updated on what works!

M.

Here is what I did with my niece. My sister was going nuts with her not pooping in the potty so I took her for a few days. I bought her a tiara and girly barbie heels. I put them on the counter in a clear box in the bathroom and told her that when she pooped in the potty she could wear them and play with them for 30 minutes. When she had an accident I dropped the poop in the potty and said "I am so sorry you chose to poop in your panties. I thought you wanted to wear your crown and heels. Maybe the next time you will chose the potty instead of your panties". Everytime she went to the bathroom she was checking out that box. When I had to do my business, I set the timer and played with the crown and MY girlie heels for 30 minutes while she watched.....she crossed her arms and pouted. Girl the next time she had to go poop she came and got me to show me that she had pooped in the potty. I set the timer and she played with the tiara and shoes. She has not to this day pooped in her panties again and if she poops in the potty at the store my sister gives her a sticker to keep to remind mommy that she gets to play with her crown and heels. You may not like the heels but she is a shoe bug big time. That kid will spend hours in the shoe department. One time she got away from my sister at walmart and we found her in the shoe department on the floor with about 40 pairs of shoes trying them all on. It had only been about 5 minutes. Toys are okay but shoes are the bomb for her. Imelda Marcos watch out.
good luck,
C.

Did this happen when you got Preggers? Maybe she is acting out because of all the attention that the pregnancy is getting. Try to make her a part of the pregnancy by getting her a big sister tee-shirt or big sister books to show the babies, let her pick out some clothes for the babies, make it special for her some way.
Try reverse psych. Dont make a big deal of it, tell her that when she is a big girl then she will be able to go in the potty like Mommy and Dora. Tell Her that Big Sisters go in the potty so that they can show the babies how to do it. Then Just let it go. That worked on some of the kids at the day care where I worked.
Good Luck
Jas

My son was the same way. I finally made a game out of it and told him to poop Mommy a dinosaur in the potty..I know its silly, but it worked. SO, we look at his poop and he tells me what he thinks it looks like. Somedays he will tell me ahead of time i am gonna poop a giraff today or what ever. He even makes my hubby get up off the couch to come see all his wonderful animals, but hey it worked. We also had to take the pull ups away...i think they confused him. I hate cleaning the big boy underwear but he learned to use the potty faster because it wasnt as comfortable.

My friends daughter was doing the same exact thing. She would only go in a daiper and when they put her on the potty she would hold it and finally get constipated. She brought her to the doctor and he said just to let her do it in her own time. Also, to give her more juices and water throughout the day. She has finally started to go in the potty again and not in the diaper. Just give her time and she will decide to go on her own when she is ready. She might also feel like she won't be the baby anymore since you are pregnant again. So this might just be so that she can be a baby again. If you have any concerns I would talk to the doctor about it. Congrats on the twins by the way.

Sounds like this is related to the new babies arriving. It is not uncommon for children to regress when there are big changes in the family. Lots of positive attention and discussion of her new role as the big sister can help her uneasyness at the change.
My son has been trained since he was 2 1/2, but the pooping on the potty was the biggest obstacle we faced (BTW, night time accidents were the easiest part of the whole process for us). This is really gross, but it worked for my son. My husband had my son in the bathroom while "Daddy" went "poop." They made a game (this is gross, sorry, but it worked) out of listening for the "plops" that hit the water and they would giggle. Then, it was Jake's turn to make "plops" in the potty. It worked!