Hide Pull-ups? Child Grabs Them to Poop.

Updated on March 15, 2012
M.G. asks from Novi, MI
17 answers

My daughter is 2.5. A few days ago I started putting her in underwear only. She went from 10 accidents a day to almost none in 2 days. She goes pee on the potty, at home or out and about. She also gets 2 M& M's when she does this. If she has to poo, though, she grabs a Pull-up. She has never pooped on the potty, and if I try to sit her there when she needs to go, she gets up and becomes upset.

She in on and off Miralax for painful poops, holding it too long, etc. so has never had an easy time with poops. Lately she's been going in her Pull-Up just fine though.

Do I hide the Pull-Ups, listen to her scream for them, and then end up cleaning a poopy mess in her underwear? Or do I allow her to grab a Pull-Up when she needs it. She is good about getting one right before she goes poop. I don't want to start bad habits, but I don't want her to become super upset with the whole poop thing.

What can I do next?

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A.T.

answers from Chicago on

Let the kid use pull ups. Age 2.5 is young to be potty trained in general. She already had issues so why add to the kid's stress? She isn't ready to use the potty to poop yet....so relax, let her take her time, quit stressing out and when she's ready she will use the potty for that too. Don't worry---she won't be grabbing a pull up when she's in college.

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

You have a smart little girl! It sounds like she is self-aware/body-aware and understands that there's a certain process for pooping. I think she'll make the change from pooping in a pull-up to pooping in a potty in her own time. Congratulations on raising such a thoughtful child!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter did the same thing when she was potty training. She would go pee on the potty just fine but was scared to poop. I found that if I didn't let her use the pull-up that she would hold it in. I talked with the pediatrician and he said the problems caused by holding it in can actually be worse than having her be trained to poop on the potty later. He said not to make a big deal out of it & she will poop on the potty when she's ready. So we let her use the pull-up and she did eventually start using the potty. She never could tell us why she was so scared to poop on the potty so we couldn't do too much to help her. It seemed like it was just something she needed to get past herself and once she did, she was fine. I know it can be frustrating but your daughter really will start using the potty!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was the same way. There is no benefit for your or her to try and force her to poop on the potty, especially if she already has constipation issues. She'll poop on the potty when she's ready too. (and a pull up is easier to clean up than the panties.) She'll go on the potty when she is ready to.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

PLEASE let her keep the pullups for now. Poop training is a separate and later stage of training for many children. The signals are different, the sensations are different, and fear of pooping on the potty becomes a very real problem if they are forced faster than they can handle it physically and/or emotionally.

Since your daughter is already upset and has experienced pain from pooping, give her lots of room on this. She WILL be ready at some point, and it will happen more smoothly, and probably sooner, if you let her take the lead.

Letting kids proceed at their own best pace does not confuse them or teach them bad habits – her life-long "habit" is already established, is it not? And it's what's worked best so far.

Kits want to train when ready, just as they want to walk and talk when they are physically and emotionally mature enough.

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

Continue with the pull-ups! You don't want her to continue holding the poop since it can damage her colon if she does it too much. My son would hold it for days.

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter refused to poop on the potty - would pee any time, any where. I found a book called "It Hurts When I Poop" on Amazon.com for about $15.00. I know the title is odd and very straightforward, but it is a GREAT book! We read the book only a few times and she pooped on the potty the next day - no tears, no fight and she was SUPER excited and proud that she did it. She was the one who got up and simply said, Mommy, I need to poop" and walked right into the bathroom! Good luck!

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

there is a method you can use - first tell her she can have the pull up and wear it to poop BUT she has to do it IN the bathroom only. Then the next day you tell her she can have it but has to be sitting ON the potty wearing it. Then after she does that for you consistently, you cut a hole in the pull up and since she is sitting on the potty to poop the poop will go into the potty. After this she should be able to go in the potty without having to have the pull up on at all because she will be used to it and it was a gentle transistion.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Dear Mommy G,

I have a 3.5 year old who also has issues with pooping in the potty. When we first potty trained her she would pee in the potty just fine, but she would hold her poop for days at a time often dancing around, crying, and holding her privates until she couldn't ignore it anymore. We started giving her Miralax so that she wouldn't go so long between poops. We were very worried for her well being.

We tried reading her books, explaining the reasons for pooping, and even letting her see her same aged cousins use the potty. She STILL tries to hold it and recently she had a trip to the doctor for bleeding because holding it so long caused her to tear her anus. Needless to say it's been a very emotional and difficult battle for us, but I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She has gone from holding it in for a week, to 4-5 days, to 3 days, and ever since her visit to the doc we are every 2 days.

She is not my only child and I didn't have this much difficulty potty training the other 2. That being said, I am truly a believer now, that they MUST be mentally ready for it and if your little girl is comfortable with pooping in a pull-up, then for now, let her do so. BUT, give her a time limit, for example buy a large package of pull ups and tell her that once those are all gone, you are not buying any more and she will have to start pooping in the potty like all the other big girls her age.

Of course that is just an example and you are the one that knows your daughter best, so you need to gauge it based on all you know of her. Also, I would recommend discussing the issue with your child's physician to make sure that you are doing everything you possibly can for your child's well being.

I hope that my experience and opinion at least help you a little, even if it's just to know that you are not alone. I wish you the best.

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A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would continue with the pull-ups for sure! 2.5 is early to be fully trained to begin with. Couple this with painful poops and you have a recipe for accidents and upsets. The fact that she is going pain free/scene free is something to be encouraged by. Perhaps the pull-ups are giving her the comfort and freedom to poop without issue. I would let her keep wearing underwear and keep the pull-ups next to the potty so she has the option to grab one or sit on the potty. Let it go, she will start pooping in the potty much sooner if you do.

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K.H.

answers from Lincoln on

are you planning on putting her in pre-k if not let it go until shes 4

A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

i had sort of the same problem with my son who is now 3 i too began potty training around 2.5 and he also went pee very well in the potty but when it came time to poo he would go hide under the table or behind a chair or something lol and i eventually just let him run around the house with nothing on his bottom half and he would hold it untill he could possibly hold it any longer one time he went on the floor and i said in a nice but firm way this is not where we go poo, i made him help me clean it up then i put it in the potty and showed him this is where it goes then let him flush the potty which he thought was a treat! perhaps you can tell her (once she knows what happens when she get the sensation to poo) she will have a special treat waiting for her. like a new favorite toy or something u know she will love. make a huge deal about her underwear and how great they are and if she goes in them its "yucky" and some how less great. i would say to hide the pull ups for now and give something else a try....good luck doll

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think you should hide the Pull Up , and when she asks for it tell her to sit on the potty while you go get it. See what happens...maybe she will go on her own, maybe she will wait for the pull up, maybe it can take you longer to get the pull up and a poop will happen naturally. Good Luck!

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A.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I had problems getting my son to poop on the toilet...he just wouldn't (period). No amount of cajoling or heckling would make him. He was stubborn! And I was so at my wits end! Finally I resorted to the big bribe...I bought a toy ( at the time it was a large Lightning McQueen that he reeeeeaaallly wanted.) I put it in sight but out of reach on top of the refrigerator. I told him if he goes poop in the potty he gets it. It worked. The next time it was w/ a smaller toy but still something he wanted...the next time it was just a matchbox car,after that stickers. We worked our way down until going on the potty wasn't the big deal it had been and became habit. I know a lot of people don't like the idea of bribing but it worked for us and we were desperate for a solution. So give it a try...what toy does she really really want? Is it worth it to her to get the toy if she's willing to give up pooping in the pull-ups?

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

try fish/flax oil ( omega 3s) and probiotics to fix the BM issue and Pullups are a scam. I worked in the 2 year old room of a daycare and that was rule #1 with the parents. To a child they are a diaper, there is no difference to them. THe way it goes on isnt going to change what they are, an overpriced diaper

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Z.L.

answers from Chicago on

my daughter was the same, wees were great on the potty but she wud go mad for a pull up for a poo! i just stopped letting her get her pull ups as she could get to them, we had 1 or 2 poos on floor but this horrified my daughter olivia, who has just turned 2 in april. So we just kept praisin her & incouraging and in the end she thaught it was great to do a wee and a poo in the potty as she got more claps and hoorays!!! she had been weein on potty since she was 1 so it took us ova a year for pooing. they all do in their own time. i would hide the pull ups now and have a few tantrums then she would of forgotten what the fuss was in a few weeks!!! good luck, mrs z brown, northallerton.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

How about get real smart and time her poop needs?

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