Polygamy/Polyandry

Updated on June 09, 2012
C.S. asks from Carmi, IL
45 answers

If it became legal to practice polygamy or polyandry, would you do it? Not just one man with several wives, polygamy, but also one woman with several husbands, polyandry. (Thanks Mira)
I'm asking for the sake of conversation because of something I was watching online. :)

Oh yeah.... Happy Friyay!

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Why, so my husbands can leave me at home and go have "boys' nites" and sit on the sofa high-fiving each other every Sunday as they are glued to the NFL?

11 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My husband and I were watching tv and a commercial for "Sister Wives" came on. My husband said, "why in the world would he want 4 wives" I can barely afford the one I got"!!! I had to laugh cause he is right!!!

No, I would not want multiple husbands. I have enough on my plate with the one I got!!! He's a keeper and NO ONE else can have him!!!!

I would not share well and I am the Queen B.!!! Happy Friday!

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D.J.

answers from Detroit on

Would I want my husband to have another wife?
No. I couldn't handle that.
Would I want another husband?
Hell, no. They're too much work.
But I love the idea of having a sister wife of my own, namely for the adult conversation and to split up the tasks.

8 moms found this helpful

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

Just what I need...one more man thinking he can tell me what to do...

10 moms found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I don't really see the big deal with polygamy/polyandry.

First of all I don't reallt care what other consenting adults do in their private lives.
Second many people equate polygamy with having sex with several people at the same time (threesomes and such). Most people in polyamourous relationships don't actually have sex with all of their partners at once and even if they did... what do I care? (see #1)

Third, we already effectively allow polygamy. There are no laws against a man or a woman having more than one relationship at a time. Yes, you can only MARRY one other person, but you can sleep with, produce children with and share your home with as many people as you want! There are already plenty of couples in "open marriages".

So, would be be for me? Probably not. But if that's what someone else wants... I don't really care.

9 moms found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hell no, but if I did I would have a lot...
Doctor
Lawyer
Mechanic
Charpenter
Plumber
Electrician
Artist
Fashion designer
Jewelry maker
Policeman
Hair dresser
Nail tech
Massage therapists
Insurance claim adjuster
Banker
IRS employee
One who looks like idris Elba
Probably a few more, just drawing a blank...
Lol....

7 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

No thanks. Not for me.

I wouldn't want to "retrain" him after he came back to me from "their" home.

I asked my husband if he would participate in it - he said "no thanks - you already told me once - I was all the girl you will ever need and you were right."

7 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Not me! No Way! No Thanks!
Way too many in-laws!
What I really want is a Stepford Wife of my own that can step in and handle all the drudgery while I relax and enjoy the fun stuff.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Isn't one husband enough headache already? ;)

Am sure my husband's answer will be just like mine - takes all I have to manage one, why in my good sense would I want more?

PS: Polyandry, is the term I believe for a wife with more than one husband at the same time.. :P

7 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

Heck no! Just another man to b*tch at about the house being a mess. No thank you, might as well just send me off to a early grave. Happy friyay!

6 moms found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Me, personally, as a reality...nah. One for one is best for me I think. Now, as for my wild untamed fantasies? BRING ON THE HAREM BOYS!!

6 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I certainly don't need another husband, but I might not complain too much about having another wife to help out around here.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

No. Never in a million years!

~I don't share well with others and I *need* to be THE one and only LOVER to my husband!!

5 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

haha, have i stood on the street and imagined what it would be like to do the hoochie coochie with a million people? of course
Live with more than one? ugh not in my dreams

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Well, since I don't know what the hell to do with the one man that I DO have, no way would I be adding another to the mix :)

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Would I willingly be one of many wives? If I was the wife that took care of the sex and children and the other wife was the one to... Do everything else... Then, yes. I would love some "sister wives". If the other wife got to have sex with my husband and I still had to do some of the chores... Well... Where's the fun in that?

Would I want more than one husband? While it's a very interesting thought, I'm going to have to say 'no' on that one.

Am I against other people having multiple wives and/or husbands? If they are all happy with the situation, then who am I to judge?

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D.D.

answers from Medford on

Oh heck no I dont need another husband! Now a sancho, maybe!! (wink wink) TOTALLY just kidding!

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I couldn't imagine living in a house with more adults. One hubby is enough, thank you, and I don't like to share.

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K.K.

answers from Detroit on

Jane-
Good answer. I am LDS and come from an LDS background and believe me, what occurred in 1852 (officially ended in 1890) is VERY DIFFERENT then what Fundamentalist groups are doing today. I find the practice in the modern century abusive towards women. On the rare occasion I have seen the Sister Wives show, I have seen the women cry over the time he spends with the other wives. It just seems painful and unnecessary. I will admit that the one benefit I do see to the arrangement is the bond between women and the help around the house. Being a mother can be very difficult and isolating at times. That said, the intimacy part....no way! My husband agrees and has said that he has not interest in trying to romance more then one woman.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Polyandry, that's called. And not for me, personally. I'm not enough of a multi-tasker, or negotiator, and it sounds to me like a recipe for endless complications.

But studies show that in polyandrous societies, women are generally respected / revered. Much as men are in polygamous societies, though there plenty of exceptions to both general rules.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Oh, not on your life. I've known a few couples who chose that route and it did not end well. There's a lot of high-minded talk of being 'enlightened' and 'deep communication' (or at least, that's what I heard from these people at the time), but when it comes right down to it, our biology gets in the way. We do tend to be jealous creatures.

I keep plenty busy keeping my husband and son happy and healthy. Why would I want more work?

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

If they are all legal, consenting adults and are happy that way, more power to them!
Personally, I haven't found anyone other than my husband that I would want to spend the kind of intimate time living with them so I would say that at this time, no I would not marry anyone else. I can say the same thing about my husband.
But it does not disgust me or anything else that anyone would want to make that choice.
I do have issue with underage (under 18) children being married off as well as marriages to direct family members (ie first cousins). The cult in Utah that marries off 12 year olds to their older first cousins or to 50 year old men comes to mind when I mention this. In that case it's not the polygamy that bothers me so much as the other things that they do.

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M.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

Why oh why would I want another husband.... dont really care for the one I've got, so it just seems like one more person I would have to clean up after! As far as my husband having other wives... well... maybe.... so long as I dont have to have sex with anyone, including the husband, and the other wives do all the cleaning up.... LOL

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

So I've lived someplace where polygamy is common practice.. One thing I find interesting is that where I lived the theme was

1st for wealth & power
2nd for friendship
3rd for joy / love

What's interesting is that in the US with serial marriages first marriage tends to be for love, 2nd for friendship, 3rd for wealth.

Personally? I'd rather have 2 husbands than 1, but am choosing 0.

I also very nearly became a 3rd wife. This was when wife's 'positions' and what they meant in a marriage was explained to me, by other wives, and by other husbands, when I was feeling the whole situation out. I loved all 3 of them very much, and it was a really hard thing to say no to. I still keep in touch from time to time, and it was a good decision. His family is just too powerful (diplomat). While I loved them, I hate politics. Their lives are not their own. His uncle, as head of the family has complete control over all of them (several hundred), and the entire family is mired in politics. Too difficult. Even for love. Not to say I wouldn't have been happy. I might have been deliriously happy. But the power involved scared me. If I hadn't been happy? There would be no way out. Which, 1 divorce later, I think I'd a sign. I felt safe in knowing I could leave my husband if it didn't work. I think, if that's on your mind, that it might very well be a 'No.' answer that's needed. Shrug. Dunno. Just feeling introspective right now. But back to polygamy...

Ever see Meet the Robinsons? Marrying into a polygamous family is like that... It's EVERYONE. Not just your husband, but his wives become your own (if youre lucky) and everyone's children are also your own. It's a different sort of life, but one that can actually have fewer frictions in many ways, and a LOT more independence / time for yourself AND more time together.

As far as polyandry goes... That was one of my favorite relationships, ever. :)

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J.B.

answers from Rochester on

hmmmm......for the sake of conversation.....
I would like to have several husbands...one to do stuff around the house...one to go to work....one to play with :) lol
Although, I think I would be ok too If I was one of several wives. Then I wouldn't have to do all the cooking, cleaning, child care mostly alone and will always have friends to hang out with...because we would all be friends :)

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

I'm not inclined in either area, but if I absolutely had to choose, I'd take the sister wife and hope she likes to clean house, cook and do laundry.

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Mama
I like to see myself as very open minded so I have no problem with other adults practicing this.
I see my union with my husband as been with my twin flame ,my soul mate so I can't see myself ever wanting anyone else in the mix.
B. k

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D.S.

answers from Columbus on

Putting up with one husband is enough for me and if he thinks he needs some else, the door is open and he can go find her on his own and with his own resources, I would be done!!!

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J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have no wish for more than 1 hubby. Simply don't think I'd want another person to argue with, LOL. Sometimes I actually pray for a sister wife, though! :) it'd be great to have some help with the house and kids. (That isn't accompanied by sighs and grumbling...)

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No.Freaking.Way.

I have a VERY hard time believing, that anyone willing to be married to someone with multiple spouses...does not actually have something wrong with them.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I would not want to have to deal with another person on such an intimate level over any extended period of time. I would not want anything to distract my husband from putting in the work that it takes to be with me. I'm not opposed to the idea; I just don't want it in MY house.

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E.D.

answers from Seattle on

A SECOND husband? Bwhahahahaha! No, I think not. Relationships are hard! I can't imagine trying to negotiate another man into the mix.

Now, I think I could get pretty into having a sister wife. The sex part would be tricky, since I can feel pretty jealous and territorial at times, and because I am pretty darn straight. On the other hand? It would be pretty cool to have a lady friend to do everything with. I really dig companionship and there several women friends who I can happily imagine integrating into our family.

But then, yah, the romantic sex part, I'm not sure if I could deal with it. I've seen some people be really happy in open relationships. Me myself? I'm not sure I'm big enough to be able to handle it gracefully.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

NOPE not for me

I would not want to share my signifigant other with another woman/women. If I had to then I would not be his S/O. To me in that type of relationship no one is special you are in a cast of thousands.

And the last thing I need is another man to take care of or live with. I like it best when he has his place and I have my place.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I am 100% for it if that is something someone wants to do in their lives. Me I can't even handle one husband and two kids, work and all the activities we have. And still get one on one time with my hubs. So I'd say no for me.

So instead one of these days I'm going to get a cleaning lady and she will go home after cleaning and I can relax!

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Who in their right mind would support such an cultural atrocity such as polygamy or polyandry?

Monogamy, whether its bisexual, gay, transgender, heterosexual doesn't matter. Monogamy is the only way to raise children. It is not cool, nor morally right, nor according to any version of any bible to go against monogamy.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

I would totally dig have more than one husband. My husband knows this, so he makes sure I am very happy with just him :) I could never share him, though heh heh heh

I do not judge other people's relationships. Live and let live, as far as I am concerned. Kids grow up all over the world under different circumstances, and turn out just fine. All this "bible thumping" about it makes me giggle. There are many different marriage scenarios in the Bible, and monogamy is only the latest version. Even I know that, and I'm not Christian.

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K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

In my opinion, polygamy is unethical and amoral.

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M.B.

answers from Orlando on

As long as all involved are legal age to be married who cares how many wives or husbands someone has. Me personally no I would not want to because I wouldn't want to share my sexy man :)

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

There is no way I would want my husband married to anonther woman nor would I want another husband!!!!! I don't share!!!!!!!

But the show Sister Wives does crack me up. And yes I do watch it. To me it's comical.

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I would never do it, but like several other posters said I can see the appeal of a sister wife. It would be nice to have another woman around to help out, lol.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

no! but i'm just selfish and the thought gives me the heebies. i would be interested though what other men thought of this, just curious!

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Um . . . no. I've been married twice and that's quite enough! :P

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

No, not here, but to each their own.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I never plan to marry again at all, so no.
But I would have no problem with others doing so if that's what they wanted.

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E.V.

answers from Phoenix on

No way, I wouldn't want to hurt my hubby. In my place though, it is legal. There is a guy who owns a very famous chicken restaurant and he is finally able to develop it to some big cities. When he was already succesful, he married his own employee as the 2nd wife and 3rd wife. As the 4th wife, it was like a contest where 400 girls applied in his restaurant and the jury is the 2nd wife. He said he will allow his daughter to be in polygamy. He even have polygamy award. ( if you want to know, google " poligami award ayam bakar wong solo"). Creepy guy!!! His 1st wife was so sad and he wants his daughter experience the same sadness?! Thankfully not so many people agree with him.

1 mom found this helpful
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