Could You? Would You? (Plural Marriage)

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NO way, I love my hubby too much and can't imagine sharing him in any way, if I need extra help I save money and pay for a sitter.
have a great night!

Well, this is funny to me. (Funny ha-ha, not funny weird.) I have a dear friend who is an Auntie to my son. She is single, fun, and sometimes comes along to events or trips with my husband, son and I. I can't lie-- It's great to have a third 'parent' around, and more than once I've joked "I can totally understand why some women are fine with puligamy." In practice, though, I am the queen of my castle and not happy to be a co-princess, thanks! Could I? I'll entertain the thought on a bad day, but would I? Nope!

I don't think not wanting to share your husband has anything to do with jealousy and by excluding anyone that would respond with a christian outlook ultimately insists that responders only think your way. You loaded the question. O. husband & O. wife....... Amen.

well you are suggesting how people reply.. when you post a question and state what you don't want to hear about.... let the chips fall where they may.. you get the kind of replies you get.. read what you want and forget the rest.. for some, who might be religious, while not debating about it, it might very well be the reason they say no to plural marriage and hence religion does play a role ...

I can't imagine it working for me...I am WAY to insecure and jealous for that to ever be a possiblity for me. I would find myself plotting ways to eliminate the "competition"....lol and then I would have a whole NEW set of problems to deal with!!

We set a very low bar for men, don't we?

My husband doesn't need another wife, *I* need a wife. Not for sexual reasons, but it would be great to have another person to cook, clean, and bring home a paycheck. Maybe we need a matriarchal society like the Mosuo of China:

http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/rough/2005/07/introduct...#

I could not and would not ever be in this type of relationship for religous reasons as well as not wanting other wives around me and my husband and my children. Also, I find it degrading to women. Just my opinion, but I do feel this way.

NO, I think it's a sick lifestyle! Polygamy is designed for a man, in my opinion. Just for their pleasure, desires, etc. They get a younger wife each time. It's an entirely selfish and unhealthy lifestyle. Not to mention, the kids are destined to repeat the same choices.

No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!! totally gross!!!!! Nobody touches my man!!!!!! And if my husband so much as strayed....we'd be done. O. husband....O. wife together for life!!!!! Polygamy designed for man alone for his selfish pleasure period...end of story....I am a Christian by the way and while I may not agree...a person's ultimate decision is between them and God and he will be the judge and jury not me.

I find it interesting that so many claim to be against it for religious reasons when for many centuries it was fine according to the church. I don't think God is the O. who is against it.
I could not personally do it. I"m too much of a feminist, and wasn't raised in it. If others want to do it, I have no objection. Of course, all the participants would have to be of legal age, and there would have to be limitations on "welfare" benefits. In this day and age of live and let live, why not allow this?

Fascinating? Yes. Gross? YES.

Interesting question, but you really shouldn't tell people how to respond. If you want an honest debate, religion is a part of it. It just is. Marriage for most of us is a union based on our religion.

I will completely leave religion out of this. It's so funny that you are asking this because my husband and I saw the preview for it and started talking about it!
So, here's what I said to him. First of all, do these women have no self respect? Do they think that they are not good enough to have O. man love JUST them? Then, I said...according to this show, he was married to the first wife for 3 years before he got married again. So, that would mean that he needed his "first" wives "blessing" before he married the second, right? Is she afraid to say "no" because she doesn't want the man to leave? Then, how does O. love THREE wives? How does O. man love 15 kids? (or however many he has?) How do you not start liking/loving O. woman more than the others?
I don't think that it has a lot to do with whether or not a woman is jealeous...wouldn't it be healthy to be jealeous of your husband making love to another woman? SHaring life stories with her, knowing her physically AND mentally? I personally could NEVER do it. My husband is MY husband...good, bad, ugly...MINE. I will not share him.
AND, why is it whenever there is a plural marriage it is always the man with multiple wives? Why do we never see a marriage of a woman with 3 different husbands and a whole slew of kids? I think the man must "get off" on the fact that he can have so many different wives "love" him and share him and be so freakin' happy to have him those O. or two days a week that it gives him a power complex. AND, how is he able to get it up every night? Seriously. My husband loves me, but we are not a sex everyday kind of couple. If you had to have it every day...phew....exhausting, no?
I look forward to reading what others wrote!
L.
Oh yeah, my husband says, "I don't think that the man REALLY loves any of those women. I don't think it's possible to say you love someone and then go off and sleep with someone else...get other women pregnant. It just doesn't make sense."

ill be bold enough to say that while i dont think i could handle another woman having sex with my man, i totally understand how in someone elses world this could be acceptable. I would befriend a polygamist woman and would have no issues about her decision, i would only bring it up out of sheer curiosity and never judge her. It is when something is made illegal that its participants become less than human by the sheer fact that they are in the shadows. It is in the dark where evil grows. Just look at legal vs illegal prostitution (thats a whole other topic) When a man has another baby with someone other than his wife it is not illegal to recognize their union, why can the wife have some say in that? I know its preferable to marry O. person, and breed with that same person, but it does not always work out that way. Why do we judge the men and women that choose to take their affairs to a different level, a caretaking, level wherin they claim the other women, and the children produced within to be legitimate? why is the alternative better?

The only problem i can see with it is for tax purposes, and that could be easily remedied. The participants in this type of union would of course not be blindsided and they go into it expecting this result. who are we to say who someone can and cant marry.

And i really dont see this a pig-male fantasy, while a man may want several partners for a night, i doubt he would want to be legally and financially responsible for them, if there werent some fundamental- religious reasoning behind it.

Call me a feminist, but I could never support this. Partnership is between two (and only two) people, whether it be woman and man, man and man or woman and woman. Some men think this the idea of multiple wives is ok, and some women just go along with it. But honestly, where's the respect? Not once have I heard of a plural marriage with O. wife and multiple husbands. The whole idea is ridiculous to me!

I was very nearly in a polygamous marriage, and have been in some poly-type relationships (polyamory and polyandry), but have never actually been in a plural marriage. The poly/plural relationships weren't something any of us were seeking out (and it was after I'd been proposed to, which I suppose is why the solution didn't seem so outlandish). It was just a common sense solution to the situation we happened to be in. We fell into it, loved each other deeply, and made a go of it. It worked better than any relationship I've ever been in. It's actually a lot more common than most people think, because gay people in this country can't even be married, much less plural marriages. Most of the long term 3/4/moresomes that I *personally* know that have been successful were this type (accidental instead of sought). People who actively seek it out, I've found to be a little wacky. When it's a solution to a problem, however, or a cultural NORM (like for the family that asked me)... fewer wacky people. At least on a percentage basis. There are wacky people in every single kind of special interest (from religion, to politics, to PTA meetings)... but certain groups seem to attract more than their fair share. Some people ACTIVELY seek to be part of a minority for it's own sake. Which I find weird. But I'm not the judge of others (at least, no O. phoned to offer the position). I just tend to like people who are more down to earth. And most down to earth people don't court the fringe.

Anyhow....

For the marriage I was asked to join, I would have been the 3rd wife. It was a VERY hard decision to say no, but I eventually did. He was a diplomat, and as such, came from a very powerful family. If it had just been he and his wives I would have said yes in a heartbeat. They were some of the most amazing people, and O. of the best families I have ever met, and it would have been an honor to join. But at any time his father or uncle could have recalled him, and therefore us as well. Raising my child(ren) in that specific country, with a family that powerful, wasn't something that - in the end - I was willing to risk for love. In some ways I was more mature at 19 than I am now.

So could I be? Yes. Not only that, in my monogynous marriage, I keenly feel the holes that weren't there when more people were involved. But they are both VERY different systems. Both have plusses and minuses, and like with ANY marriage, each marriage is different and depends sooo much on the people involved. Personally, I find monogynous marriage to have far more minuses than plusses. I would love to have 2 or 3 husbands or 2 or 3 wives to share joys and burdens with.

I find it interesting:

I've been told by several (slightly jaded) girlfriends - 1st husband for love, 2nd for friendship, 3rd for money...

I've been told by many middle eastern friends - 1st wife for power (money or connection), 2nd for friendship, 3rd for love & happiness... and any wives following for the wives the husband already had (aka to keep them happy, and they chose any 4th).

I think it shows the difference in how men and women think. And I also wonder about american plural marriage. Big Love DEFINITELY used that trend (Barb was for power - aka his standing in the LDS community, Nikki was a childhood friend/best friend, Marge was his love/ happy pill. I have absolutely no experience with religious plural marriage... so the show makes me wonder if they used the MidEast ideal, or if that trend exists here as well.

Anthropologically speaking, plural marriage in VARIOUS forms have been the norm for most of human history. Mostly polygynous cultures. Some were polyanderous but not many. I suspect it to be a practical consideration. Men tend to get themselves killed on a regular basis, which creates a bit of a shortfall. If the norm was several husbands, and men were in high demand ANYWAY, there would be a LOT of old maids. The only cultures *I* know of that were polyandrous were in very "safe" areas. Not a lot of wars. Like with most things, in plural marriage, it was the upper and lower classes who parallelled each other. Either more spouses because O. had the means to support them, or O. had more spouses in order to share the work. But MOST cultures in the world plural marriage has been practiced. Sometimes the norm, sometimes merely an accepted option, but not the norm. Greece and Rome were sort of borderline, because both espoused kinds of open marriage, but didn't actually marry more than 2 people at a time. Rome gets complicated so I won't touch it here, but Greece was really straightforward. Men married women AND had boyfriends. It was expected. My son is reading the Illiad right now, and we've just run up against that (Achilles's lover Patroclus), so it's on my mind.

<grinning> I'm not sure if I find the topic so interesting, because I almost was married to a family, and later found it to be a practical solution, or just because I find people as a cultural species so fascinating.

But yes, absolutely, with the right people and situation... I could do it. And be very happy.

You asked, so I am going to answer and I refuse to be censored. Take it or leave it. Doesn't matter to me.

Marriage is designed by God to be between O. man and O. woman. That's it. I am not sure if I could seperate that belief from the fact that it feels just WRONG on so many levels. It would be demeaning to me should my husband want to be with any woman other than me - even another wife. I could never consider my competition a sister, nor my sister my competition. If I am enough for my husband, he will be happy with just me. If not, we don't belong together anyway.

I could go on (and on and on) but I will stop there.

Really it is not much different than being in an open marriage or being polyamerous. I never would, because I believe every woman deserves to be loved exclusively. At least in an open marriage or in a polyamoursous relationship, both parties get to have additional partners. Polygamy really seems like a way for a man to have his cake and eat it too, but if everyone involved are consenting adult, and have not been brainwashed or forced into it, than live and let live, it has no effect on me.

I personally wouldn't mind being married to a few men and women... that way O. man or two can work for main source of income, the other man or men could work around the house fixing, building, etc.

Multiple wives would then have multiple options open to them and would not have to share. So not only would there be more hands to help around the house in all capacities, but there would also be more time and variation for sex. More helping hands for child raising, more help to grow their own food, maybe even make some of their own clothes?

I could see a lot of great benefits to multiple COUPLES merging into O. household... but not O. man for multiple women. Most of those women would get very sexually frustrated.

I couldn't or wouldn't.

If I could, I would delegate all sex to someone else. Seriously, I would not miss it O. bit.

I would do the childcare and teaching. Hopefully someone would be a great cook.

I don't see how it could be good for the women. Legally, doesn't the first wife get everything(retirement, house, benefits).

I doubt any women with any type of self worth would want to live in this type of marriage. What the heck does she get out of it!!! Let's see a man gets to have sex with many women and a women gets to share that intimate part of her husband with another woman. Wow!! not too appealing to me!! Big deal extra women to help around the house, I can pay a housekeeper, or pick up the phone and call a friend. Just another way for a man to use women and demean what true love is all about. NO THANKS!!

No way. The whole polygamy issue is wrong. I think it's a selfish and egotistical male who gets into this lifestyle of controlling and brainwashing these women. Actually, I'm kind of surprised that this show is airing. I was under the impression that polygamists were a closed society to the rest of the world. I will not be watching it anyways.

Hi,

Thank you for asking this question~ I am curious myself how this show will be and how the whole plural marriage could work. I believe for this type of lifestyle to work, you would have to have very specific ground rules and guidelines for the marriage to work and flow. I personally have never been interested in this type of lifestyle so I know it wouldn't work for me. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and my hubby and I are happy together.

As far as it working for some-- I do think it would work for a very small percentage of our population. This is not a judgement, but my concern is not about what goes on in their marriage or the bedroom etc- it is the children involved. I would find it so confusing as a child to explain my 3 other moms or dad's wives etc. and not be uncomfortable with it. I just can't get over the whole drama of getting up as a child in the middle of the night to need your mom and you don't know where she is--is she with your dad? In her room by herself? Which mom would you go to etc? What if you interrupted their private time or you wanted dad and didn't know which wife he was with that night. I don't think a child could have a calm home with all that going on. Thats my 2 cents. I know some will agree and some will not. Overall, not the lifestyle for me-but I respect others' to make the decision if its right for them.

M

I saw an article on this show, and to me, it seems very much like the lifestyle of Hugh Hefner - the man keeps going for younger women. When will he stop? Four wives seems like a lot of responsibility and work (for the man - all those children!!!) and like a lot of heartache for the women, if they really love this man.

That being said, I think this lifestyle is actually preferable to the lying, cheating and creeping that go on every day in some O. man/O. woman marriages. It's more honest this way, and maybe some women like having that bond together, like "sisters", but to me, it's not a lifestyle I'd like or choose.

wow- interesting conversation. No, I would never do it, and being raised Mormon- it was in my background. I am still surprised at how many women would actually go for it. In my opinion, it is an ego thing for men- not just sex, but having that many women and children "under" him. The wife(wives) would never be seen as equal to him- he is the man and therefore has the last say in any debate. Some men would take it farther than that and not even consult wives on anything of "importance".
I have seen the way of thinking that is involved in this way of life and there is no equality for the woman in such a situation. This is not to say that the woman is treated bad or beaten or anything like that, just that her opinion doesn't count. And yes, I know that there are marriages already out there that are like that without the multiple wives- I just think that with that way of thinking- polygamy would be more accepted.
When I need help with dinner, cleaning the house or taking care of the kids, my husband steps up and helps out because it is our dinner, our house and our children. He is not interested in another wife, or many more wives- he also thinks that it is rather a sexist way of life, even if it has very little to do with the actual act of sex.
Just my opinion!
~C.

I watched about 2 minutes of the first episode and was sick to my stomach. I wonder what is wrong with these people heads. Oh well, not my problem. I don't want to share my husband. I want him all to myself :)

Yes it could work, and I personally would welcome a sisterwife. I love my husband and we've been together for a long time. But this is something I actually talked about with my husband prior to seriously dateing.

I believe in God btw, and I believe that I was guided to my husband. We have a strong relationship and an unbelievable trust. He's an amazing guy and a wonderful father...I'd love to share that.

It seems to me that their philosophy is, "When it get roughs, add another wife." I think polygamy (for this particular family) is an easy way to deal with the really tough parts of marriage. Instead of working through problems or boredom, they add another wife or more children to make life new again and more exciting for the time being. The fact that they continue to add another wife shows that they cannot be content with the life they have already built.
Yes, it would be great to have a live-in babysitter, someone else to take care of the yard work or laundry... but for someone to have a say in everything for the rest of my life??? I'm just not THAT lazy!

I like the Idea of having another woman to share the responsibilites, sex, what have you, but in practice, I can't Live with another woman. I am like to be the O. in charge, and know in a plural marriage I would get demoted to second wife pretty fast. That would drive me nutty. but the Idea of having a friend in the house is somewhat attractive... =)
R.

I've always been a fan of the show Big Love, and now I enjoyed watching Sister Wives.

At the most basic level, I love the idea of raising family and children as a community, and having a woman to lean on and share responsibilities and the joys and challenges of motherhood with. Strong bonds with other women are important, and even in this unconventional world, I think they can be beneficial! The wives all seem to care for and support each other in the family on the show, and I could see myself enjoying an arrangement like that.

Another significant benefit would be "me" time, which I have almost NONE of being a working, pregnant mother of 2. I feel like I am constantly at the mercy of someone needing something from me, and another wife or two would ease that burden lol.

The question of jealousy is much more complicated. I don't know how much sex with another woman would bother me, but I would have a very hard time knowing my husband had a strong emotional connection to another (or multiple) women, or that he may take her advice over mine in certain matters. I love feeling like a partnership, or team, with my husband, and another woman would definitely complicate that!

I also wonder if jealousy over children would come into play. My bonds with my two little boys are SO strong - I wonder if it would be hard for me to see my children growing extremely fond of, or attached to, a sister wife over me. That would be tough!

Perks and drawbacks for sure, and an intriguing discussion!

K

My kids are always saying there should be 2 mommies...O. to play with them and the other to clean! Maybe this is the answer!

I think it would be way too hard emotionally. We all need the O. someone that knows us like a book and can be with us when we need them most. Three women on their period at the same time... how would O. man deal with that?

I would never have sisterwife or even have someone else join my marriage and share MY man! I would get grossed out knowing that he spent the night with my sister the night before he did with me...and then having my children accept it and then this act later on in life. For me marriage is between two people not three or four...plus i would be too jealous to deal with...

What an interesting question! Well from a religious point of view I would have to say no, I believe it is wrong, but from a personal view I have thought about it and wondered if I could do it. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to both a single or plural marriage. It also depends on weather you are sharing the same household, or living in different households. And there are advantages and disadvantages to both living in O. or in two or more households. If it were in separate households, it wouldn't be much different than being a single parent with a boyfriend who comes to visit, except he would be financially responsible. Being a single parent myself I can see the benefit to this situation. Living together in O. household would be a challenge, but being a single mom all alone i can also see the benefits of this situation. I think living in a single household would be difficult as any marriage is, the more people the more complications, but also the more joys. I really don't think when it comes down to it, that I could really do it if all lived together. But I suspect there are many who could do it happily. O. of my issues is that I like things a certain way and I don't know if it because of how I was raised or born this way or as a result of life circumstances and being a single parent. But I find it difficult to consider anyone else having a say in decisions about my children or my household. Of course I can't have things the way I would ideally like them because of my situation too, so there is always pluses and minuses to every situation. So religiously I would say no, personally I would say yes it could work.

I could never do it. I don't share well. LOL. More than that though, I could not do it if the roles were reversed either. I do not want several men in my life, no matter what fantasies I could conjure up. The reality is that I barely manage the O. I have and he barely manages me in turn. My time with him is sacred and I can not imagine if I had even less than I have now.

As for other people doing it...there are just too many different factors that crop up making it difficult for me to pick a side. If the children are protected and cared for properly and allowed to live their own lives as they get older and move out, maybe. I do think that consenting adults who are not harming anyone should get to make those sorts of choices on their own. The thing that creeps me out is when you begin talking about situations where little girls are raised knowing they are meant to be breeders for a man who already has a bunch of wives and is way too old for them.

Hi, Denise:
To be in that kind of relationship, there needs to be a set
of norms relating to the boundaris of each person involved.
Something like a job description.

It would work if the structure of the relationships were in place.
It takes special people to wok together as a team. It is not all about sex but that can be included if need be.
Good luck on your inquiry.
D.

I agree with Kay B! I also would not miss the sex at all! I have three small kids and am ALWAYS so tired. I give my husband sex out of obligation as his wife. I cannot even imagine having multiple sex partners - gross!!! It's hard for me to give it to O. person (my own husband) let alone other men. I will never understand why married people who are parents of young children cheat. How on earth can they have the energy or desire?? Anyway, I don't believe in polygamy.

Paula G pointed out something I was thinking... So many people claim to be against it for religious reasons. I have my bible right here and could pull quotes out about it that have HIGHLY religious men marrying multiple women! Now push the whole religious thing out of the way... I could do it and would do it! However, I won't bc I like the way it is with my husband. I like having just me and him time and no I wouldnt mind sharing this wonderful man, but Im selfish :) Me and my husband find this very interesting and think it can work well if taken care of the properly way!

Religious issues aside, I'm disgusted by the show's commercials. They're glorifying something that most and I do mean most people are offended by for many different reasons. They're advertisting it like it's a great thing and it's just a different marriage approach. Don't like that.

As for me, personally, I could not and would not be married to a man who has more than O. "wife". And they're not "wives". They're O. wife and some girlfriends. I refuse to believe that O. man can truly love more than O. woman, truly love her in the way she needs to be and deserves. I'm sure he feels a type of "love" for each woman but when you give your heart to O. person you are giving all of yourself back. How can you do that to more than O. woman? I don't think it's jealousy. It's nature to be with O. woman.

For the man, you cannot tell me it has nothing to do eith ego, sex, and male chauvinism (head of the clan).

For the woman, you cannot tell me she does not have some type of low self esteem to allow herself to be submissive and share a man. What's wrong a woman having more than O. husband then?

And the fact that, unless the man is loaded with money, plural families are usually on some kind of welfare or state assistance, which I find disgusting in itself.

Then there's the children. If you can't afford all of those children yourself, then why have them! And then there's the confusion of having multiple "moms". If the "moms" aren't on the same page with discipline then there's arguments.

I don't know. The issues can go on and on. But at the end of the day, it's adultry, whether it's religious or just plain moral. And if these people are doing plural marriage for some religious reason, they're not reading their Bible correctly. Adultry! It's just plain immoral no matter how you look at it.

If you want to screw some other woman, go for it but not on my watch, and with my children being raised in that? Blah!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

i don't think i could do it...jealousy jealousy jealousy! plain and simple. while i do see the draw i.e. shared work, etc...i just can't get my mind around it, and i have to wonder whether these women don't think they are worthy of undivided love of O. man? cuz i'm not sure i buy that they are all really "that" well-adjusted and content...? really?

no i couldn't, just because i think there would be too many kids hahahahh :)
really, i think even marriage between two is difficult as it is, trying to make it work, O. always sacrifying more than the other, let alone bringing the third person into the mix.
as far as religious views, i have none :)

I haven't seen the show and I really want to know...how can a husband cover more than O. wife on his medical insurance? It was my understanding that in cases of polygamy only the first wife is recognized legally and the others are considered single moms cared for by state aid. was this explained?

Updated

I dont think its possible for a man to cover more than O. wife on medical insurance. Only the first wife is recognized, the others are single moms who are supported by the state, that is we taxpayers, so that is ANOTHER problem with polygamy

I could NEVER do it! The thought of another woman touching my husband sickens me! Or for that matter, being a mother figure to MY children!? No way!! I hold my husband way to dear to my heart as my best friend, my love, I waited too long to find him to share him LOL!!

I honestly don't know how these women do it. And honestly think a man like that is somewhat of a pig! Sure alot of men would love to have there choice of at least 3 or more women at the end of the day, but to me that says alot about their morals and character. I'm not a religious person necessarily, but maybe spiritual? I just dont believe in sharing your love that way. But hey, to each his own! Just don't dont expect me to understand it!

I have polygamous ancestors. My great great great grandmother, I think was a 2nd wife. According to the family, the first wife was treated like the favorite, along with her kids, and the 2nd wife felt like she was treated as a 2nd class citizen. That's just O. family, though. I know another of my ancestors was the first wife and her husband too another wife. He had two houses - O. in Canada for the 2nd wife, and O. in Utah with my great grandmother. It sounds like for the men, it was actually a big financial and time constraints burden. All around it doesn't sound very easy at all.

I love the show Big Love and enjoyed reading The 19th Wife. The concept is so interesting because it can't be a happy way for a women to live her life - yet so many choose to. They claim to love it, but it is completely based on their religious beliefs. Personally, if religion were out of it, I would rather have a couple husbands than share mine with a couple wives. The feminist in me feels like if it can work O. way, then it can work the other way. Of course the only way it does work is because the people involved believe they doing this for God, otherwise there would be no way to balance the pros and cons to the lifestyle.

Honestly...I don't see a problem with the concept of pleural marriage. I am a huge fan of Big Love and while I know that the show is fictional, I see nothing wrong with how they (the main story characters) live. I don't think I could do it personally, just my preference. I also do not see anything wrong with having more than 2 people in a loving relationship. It is pretty sad that in our society adultry is more acceptable than even the mere thought of pleural marriage. Now, I'm not saying I agree at all with the "compound" lifestyle. I'm talking about a man and a woman in a committed marriage who together decide to involve another woman in their lives. All adults, and all fully aware of the situation and all fully consenting. No fraud. No scamming the system. Just living together and raising a family. Where is the harm in this?

Hi Denise, I always like your posts.

I have a , uh, somewhat cavalier attitude about fidelity, so I've been told.

I don't really need to own my guy.

I DO however need to own my household, I AM in charge,

Sharing that, well, yeah, no, I don't think so.

As far as the show goes....they were all on the Today Show this week, caught a little of the interview.....

Three words, eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

My family history includes plural marriage in my great-great grandfather's time. It is not an easy commitment. My mother told me stories about how cousins from O. side didn't talk to cousins from the other side. If the women don't get along, then their children won't either. Children pick up their parent's attitudes on so many subjects. The wives must also be happy with each other if it is to work well. They must rise above envy, favoritism, and pettiness. If you ever listen to Dr. Laura, you know how hard that is for many women to do. Men can brush off little insults or irritations; women generally do not. As with any marriage, you are not just marrying your partner, but you are marrying into the whole family. You will either enjoy or deal with those relationships for years to come. If there is any question about getting along with the other wives, don't put your children through it.

This answer doesn't address the legal issues which are another big consideration. The economic issues can also have consequences; who works and who stays home to watch kids. At least O. wife will probably have a job.

Since when did Hollywood ever make a realistic TV show? "Sister Wives" is just another unrealistic show geared toward what the producers think the public will watch; so of course, they cast a socially acceptable light on an edgy subject. It's all about sponsers; money; bottom line.

This is quite dysfunctional to say the least. I'd never do it even if I liked dysfunction.

I love watching shows like that, but i don't have cable anymore. =( I know some do it for religous reasons, some do it for cultural reasons, and some just do it to, but I don't think I could.
If the only thing she would do is housework, sure! Ok so yeah I run my own house, and yeah I WOULD miss the sex, and no I wouldn't want to share my SO, but I think the hardest part, for me, to deal with would be my child having a second or third mommy.
I know it sounds weird, or even petty, but I am territorial of my child. She's mine, and I am her only mother. The show I watched before they sort of all parented each others child and the children even called them mother, mom and mommy (there were 3 wives).
Don't get me wrong, if you were my best friend I would expect you to keep my child in line and treat her as your own, but there is something different when all living together. It's a bond that you create and I think that mother- child bond should only be between me and my child, not between me, another woman, and my child.
Thats just O. aspect of it for me. So in short, if she would only come in and clean, sure why not. =)

ADDED: LOL I had to had what my boyfriend just said. I asked him could he, or would he if another woman and I were okay with it, and this was his response "I don't know, it sounds awful hard and nerve racking." hehehehe

I never heard of the show! but I am wayyyy too jealous to share my hubbie. he is too wonderful and i love that he only has eyes for me, at least I sure hope so. lol

Assuming there were no political or religious or moral issues I dont think I could do that. At first i might think it would be great to have extra help but then you have to think that there would be so much more that it would even out to what you already do. And while it might be nice to know that others know what you have to put up with from your husband, I'd probably always wonder if he liked another O. better or another O. was better in bed or whatever. and i really really wouldnt want to share my kids with another mom.

If done properly, I could.

Besides the religious POV, my husband couldn't possible handle another woman. He can't even handle me! Although, I guess there would be benefits, like having a live in babysitter :) It's not for me to judge, so I'll leave that to my maker to decide. When thinking about it technically though, someone mentioned how gross it is. Is it anymore gross than meeting your husband who has already had sex with other women before you met him? The only difference is that he's having sex with you simultaneously. I don't see how that's anymore gross.

On the other hand, I would be VERY interested in what the rules are about getting pregnant. Obviously, they aren't using protection. So are they tested for STD's?

The whole concept is very confusing to me. And maybe it just appears to be. They certainly have it figured out, someway. I'd be more concerned about what they are teaching their kids about relationships. Are the boys going to grow up expecting to have more than O. wife? Do the girls want to have sister wives when they grow up?

Oh, what a dream for a counselor to dive into.
Glad it's not me.