My husband of 6 1/2 yrs is amazing. He cooks for me every night, and weekend mornings, helps to clean the house, and makes enough money that allows me to stay home with the kids. On top of that he never goes to the bar and seldom drinks. Occasionally we'll share a bottle of wine tho.
Here's the one and only problem: Over the weekend we were all sick here. My 22 mo old was the first to get it. She threw up all over me, for what seemed like a long time, even tho it wasn't. I was yelling at the hubby to get some towels since it wasn't stopping and I couldn't go anywhere. He just stood there and stared. I was so mad that he wasn't moving. When I questioned him later he said he was amazed that that much could come out of our little girl. Then went on to say that I should be thankful that he helps out in other areas with the kids...changes poopie diapers, baths and disipline, he just gets grossed out by the "throw-up" so can't deal with that. So what I'd like to know, is how many other husbands/boyfriends do any of these kinds of things and do they have the same reaction to throw up?
My husband will do it all when he is home. It is just as much his children as they are mine, can't imagine letting him get out of being a "DAD"
My husband of almost 10 years also helps with the diapers and household stuff. I consider myself truly blessed. You might get a kick out of this video on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTij4txO8Uk
My husband helps with all and I don't even have to ask him. Especially when she's sick. He always felt a little short changed (like he wasn't needed) because my daughter and I have a close bond and always wanted me when she was sick, so my husband always wants to be more involved in comforting her. (There's just something about moms that kids need.) but, over time, my 4 yr old has now become more bonded with dad because of his volunteering and stepping up for stuff like this...the care giving. Also, I think no boys are really good at troubleshooting problems well, which towels to use, getting new unpuked on jammies, etc...they just can't do more than one thing at a time, so you'll have to just practice patience with him.
My husband is wonderful as well & does all of those things. Neither of us likes puke. Something about puke just makes me want to puke. Some people just have their thing that they can't tolerate. Doesn't make them a bad person. My husband & I just kind of work togeter since we both don't like it. Thankfully, our little man has only had 1 day where he was puking.
I'm in the medical field & have seen TONS of people puke & each time, I just want to puke! Be gentle on your hubby ok :)
He probably doesn't want to admit how much he can't handle throw up. And I would be appreciative of the other things he does around the house.
That said, he can’t be a wimp or use those other chores as leverage against helping you in tough situations. I would talk with him about it. If he really can’t handle it, then maybe it isn’t worth the argument.
On another note, of course it is gross but why do you have to deal with it by yourself? I am a single mom, and I don’t have a choice. The first time my daughter got the flu she was 2, and she threw up all over me. I was lucky to have my brother over at the time and he cleaned up my daughter and the floor so I could take a shower. (He is a paramedic and cleans up puke from people he doesn’t even know, someday he will make an awesome dad). But this last year, when my daughter got the flu, I had to do it all myself. I hated it, and I was gagging the whole time, but taking care of my daughter is so much more important then weather I end up regurgitating from the smell.
Single mother of 2 girls, 5 years and 16 months.
My husband helps with NONE of the things you mentioned, so I would be thrilled if he helped in any ONE of those areas. He has never dealt with our kids when they have been sick, it has always been me. He can't stand the vomit, either. Consider yourself lucky!
S.
I have to say my husband is the BEST guy I have ever known. I am a WAHM, so I am home 24/7 but I also work from home, which at times is harder than working out of the house for me.
I have a 10yr daughter that was 5yrs old when I met my husband. He took her on as his own right away (she does see her father too). We have a 4yr old son and a 4 month old daughter together. He does soooo much more than any guy I know. He cleans the house and has always has, does the dishes, cooks, bathes the kids, changes diapers and he even got up with my son in the middle of the night when he was an infant and gets up now with our daughter (only thing he doesn't do is the laundry, but that is because I won't let him, but he would if he had too). More or less he never sits down. As far as the puke goes, he is the one that cleans it up because it makes me sick. He also has to clean the dog poopy up from our two dogs because I can't stand that smell either and he will do the litter boxes if our daughter forgets.
He works 3-11pm (we get to bed around 1am) and he is always doing something around the house from 8am-2pm before leaving for work. Even when he is sick as a dog he is always up doing something. He was raised this way and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have such a great loving husband and I would never trade him for anything. He is always telling me he wants me to have the best and wants to give me everything he can. In June of 2006 he had 3 fingers cut off his right hand at work (everything attached now, but still causes LOTS of pain!!) While out of work, he couldn't sit down even than. The first thing he thought of when it happended was "How am I going to support my family", he didn't even think of himself at that point.
I actually have to tell him to SIT DOWN or he won't, even than he may fight with me on it and say "I have to get it done".
Sorry this was so long, but I am very happy and I like to brag...lol
But to your reaction to your husband, I wouldn't be mad, some people can't handle throw-up.
my husband is a great dad and provider but he also can not do the poopie diapers and throw up he starts gaging and i'm always scared he is going to make a mess as well on the other hand he can skin and gut a deer or any animal for that matter with out gaging i don't understand this i will also be watching you responses. you are not alone
I'm a sympathetic puker so I don't handle the vomit very well. My husband has always been good at taking care of the kids when they are throwing up, but he does not handle the diarrhea--which doesn't bother me. It works out nicely when the kids are sick--neither has to do both. Other than that, he doesn't do many of the other "less fun" things associated with kids. He doesn't change diapers unless he has to, doesn't give baths, doesn't put them to bed......So if not being able to handle vomit is the only thing yours doesn't do be very thankful. Some people don't handle sick very well.
If that's the first time he's seen her throw up that much it could that he was in shock. When I was baby sitting once my husband (boyfriend at the time) did that same thing. Stood there while the kid projectile vomited all over myself and everything. I tossed the kid at him because he was standing there like a idiot and he held him at arms length (facing away from him). I think that if your the one getting pucked on your more likely to react faster the the watcher. We laugh about it now, but I was pretty ticked off at the time. Now he's really good in all aspecs of baby care.
Cut him some slack. He does a hundred times more things then alot of husbands do.
I guess I am not sure what you are complaining about?? Are you just mad that he didnt jump to help??? My husband does NONE of those things your husband does, dont get me wrong he works at his business all day, and works very hard, and thinks that because I stay home that the house and all it intales is MY JOB!! I guess that if you are just getting upset over the fact that he stood there is shock, most likely, and did not jump to your rescue that you are really complaining about nothing. A lot of fathers and men alone would just stand there in shock. I would consider yourself very lucky that he does everything that you said and just didnt do the throw up!! Its really no big deal!! Consider yourself very lucky!!
no they will not help out when kids are sick, or when we are sick...however they do expect to be dotted upon when they themselves aren't feeling well...
I have this issue every time a virus goes through out house...the kids get it, he gets it and then once I am all done taking care of them...I get it and have to take care of myself and them...
I guess I would just expect to see the deer in the headlights, then maybe when he does help when everyone is ill, you can be surprised!
My husband helps in all areas of the house. We recently had our first experience with Vometing children (2 weeks ago). Both of us were grossed out, (neither of us do well with the smell of vomit) but he took our Oldest into the bathroom to clean up (brush teeth, change PJ's, ect) and finsih if he had to vomit more. I got the task of cleaning up our living room.
He was sitting with our son when he threw up, I was on the other couch...we both could do nothing but watch, we had nothing close by to try to "catch" it. I'm not sure if the clean up duties would have been different if I had him when he threw up or not.
We have 4 kids, ages 14, 11, 7, & 3 (& 1 on the way). My husband will change diapers when he has to (if I'm not home), but if the baby has a cloth on & they poop, he leaves it for me to clean out, & puts a disposable back on!). As for vomit, he has a really hard time with that.
When our 1st experienced projectile vomiting from her formula, he just ran the other way, usually to the BR to vomit himself. He's gotten better over the years. He can usually keep from vomiting himself now, & knows enough to run for a bucket or towels when I yell! In fact, around Christmas when I was horribly sick with the stomach flu during the night, our 11 yr old threw up in her bed & on the floor. He got up & cleaned it up (brought in the shop vac from the garage & VACUUMED it up!), changed her bed, then went & took a shower because he was sure he could smell it on himself! But he did it & didn't throw up! yeh!
May I add, you are SO lucky that he helps with all that other stuff. I get SO tired of cleaning up after everyone without any help. And if I ask him to cook 1 night a week it's an imposition to him & he always cooks the same thing.... So count your blessings & put up with the rest!
oh cheryl.. your husband and mine could be twins..lollol
but... my husband will clean it up even if i'm here,,because he knows he has to..lol but i do ask him. .do you need me to help you cuz i know he gets grossed out. i do too,, don't get me wrong,, it's not something i enjoy. but i think he knows that we both are grossed out by it and someone has to clean it.
You all should be THANKFUL for what you have! We both work outside the home, but I do all the chores (cook, clean, laundry, etc), bath and take care of the kids, etc. Sometimes feels like single-parenting. Anyhow, my husband too cannot handle the puke situations. It makes him sick in return. If this is his only downfall, I would GLADLY take it!!! Be HAPPY!
Thanks to all who responded. I guess I didn't realize that many people that were sickened by the puke smell and/or look. Thanks for giving me a reality check. I needed that.
My husband has gotten better about helping out with diaper changes and sick kids over the years (our oldest is also 5). I think it helped that our first projectile vomited several times a day for the first few months. =) The novelty wears off quite quickly. Hopefully, yours will just learn to get over it.
I would LOVE it if my hubby helped out around the house as much as yours does!
My boyfriends is extremely helpful. He'll change any diaper and has jumped in to clean up any vomit situations we've had with our son. I've had many people tell me how lucky I am to have such a helpful man. If he didn't share half the work I'd remind him he did half to make our son.
If your husband does all you say he does and puke is the only thing he can't handle, you should cut him some slack. Not everyone is capable of doing that. Recently our son got sick for the first time vomiting, and my husband and I looked at each other like we were going to barf.
I read the other posts about husbands who don't help out with the child-rearing and housework chores, and I think that is despicable. It shows a lack of respect for the female adult in the household and what she does. My husband and I share a completely equal amount of the household burden, and he's an attorney who works full-time. I work almost full-time, so I do a bit more housework on my day(s) off. That's about it though. We are equal partners.
The Feminine Mistake is a really interesting book on this topic.
Hi Cheryl,
I think we married the same man. :P My hubby is FANTASTIC with the kids and housework. He'll clean up any spill, any mess, even the cat box without complaining. His one weakness is the smell of vomit. Our kids had a run-in with the flu a month back and he was the same way. It doesn't really bother me, so I took care of it. He just gets grossed out by it. We all have our different triggers. (mine is a really nasty poopy diaper)
We are SO blessed to have men this wonderful, but even they have a right to have one recessive parenting gene. :P Don't worry, you're not alone! :)
I think throw up catches everyone off guard and I've been in a similar situation and been frustrated that my husband didn't move faster and we talked about it later and here is what was going through his mind: did he just throw up? Oh my god is it going to stop- uh oh my wife is talking to me- towels- ok, which towels- paper towels? kitchen towel? bathroom towels? which towels are ok to throw up on? Does she want them wet or dry? Basically- he was just as overwhelmed in the moment and wasn't quite sure which direction to go because he didn't know which towels to grab and didn't want to frustrate me further by bringing the wrong towels and didn't want to ask again and make me think he wasn't paying attention.
My point is, in situations like that- it is nice that one of you stayed calm and knew what to do- but since you were the one that had an idea of what to do, maybe you could be more specific in telling him what to do and he could be better about listening to what you need him to do to help.
Hope you get it worked out!
Hi Cheryl
My husband does all of those things. although he would rather not deal with puck he will. Me and my daughter got the stomach flu at the same time He helped her get cleaned up and let me rest. but some people really can not handle puck. T.
my husband had problems changing poopy diapers. if i went grocery shopping and came home and my son was crying i knew my husband was in the bathroom throwing up!!! that was about 4 years ago!! and we have had nights with my now 5 year old with the flu or such that my husband will just throw me a towel and run for the bathroom to throw up!! it gets to be funny because i tease him about it. he has a very weak stomach!!
