Please Tell Me This Has Happened to Other People!

First of all, I think you son needs to get out of the crib and into a regular bed. I think 3 1/2 is way too old to still be in a crib. All three of my children were out of the crib and into a regular twin size bed by the time they were 1 1/2. None of my children ever climbed out of the crib either. It was just time to move to the bed.

Now, the problem you are having sounds like separation anxiety. He started to count on you coming in and comforting him. Now, he wants more. The only way that I was able to break my children of this is by simply letting them cry it out. The more you go in and do what he wants, the longer this is going to last. And, there is the possibility that if you don't let him cry it out, that he will never get over this.

Good Luck!

J.,
I agree that he is FINE in his crib if he is not crawling out. I wish I had left my son in his crib longer, but people were saying "oh--big boy bed yet? blah blah blah..."
If you change beds now, it will be an even bigger issue. I would suggest solving this issue THEN think about a twin, etc.
Just go in and reassure him. Repeat. Be prepared for some crying and screaming. Get some steely resolve! Hang in there. Comfort & leave, repeat. It will be a few rough nights but he'll get it. Good luck. Hang tough!

I second Denise P's advice!!!

I agree you should leave him in the crib until he tries to get out/ out grows it/ needs to get up to go to the bathroom. I slept in my crib until I was 4 (i could climb out of it, but that was in the days of drop side cribs).

My son does this from time to time, and, sadly, letting him CIO is the only thing that gets us past it. That having been said, when my son does it, he does it very regularly-- like, he wakes up at 3:13 every night for 3 or 4 nights in a row. Also, he really isn't that awake-- he's often just crying in his sleep. If you think he's just in a waking rut, I'd give him at least 10 minutes of crying to see if he can get him self back to sleep. If we do this just one night it gets him past it. Now, my son is not quite 2, so 3 1/2 may be a different developmental stage-- so take my advice with a grain of salt....

Although this has only happened to me a few times, i have a lot of friends who have gone thru it. Also my mother has been a day care provider for 30+ years so i have known many others who have gone thru it. I believe it hasn't happened to me because i follow two of my mom's "rules" for a good sleeper... 1. night light in the room somewhere, kids get afraid no matter what age. 2. white noise, we use a radio with a CD player on continuous loop. I put on happy kids songs and my 2.5 year old sings along until she falls asleep. She has even told me they make her "happy" if she wakes up at night. Let your son pick out his new nigt light and CD... he will be so excited. I even let my kids take books to bed...
Good luck.

l.

Hi Jen,
First, I don't think it really matters what type of bed your son is in. When he's ready for a big boy bed, he's ready.
I can only say my son goes through these phases from time-to-time. He is 4 1/2; He did it A LOT when he was between 3 & 4, but it has subsided for the most part... I've found that he mostly can calm himself down and go back to sleep if I don't intervene... Sometimes, however, he has a really "bad dream" and needs me...But, I can also say, you may want to take him to the doctor any way, just to be sure he isn't sick... My sons (3 & 4) seem to be fine during the day, then start having sleep issues, then a week or so later, full blown sickness - toncilitice (sp) - ear infections, etc...

I can SO relate, my 25 month old daughter has up untill 3 weeks ago been a fantastic sleeper, 2-3 hour naps and down at 19h00, quite happily so. However, as from 3 weeks ago she refuses to nap and even bedtime is a huge struggle - the hysterical screaming and crying starts as we head up the stairs to start the nap or bedtime routine.

I am at my wit's end and REALLY desperate as she now also suddenly wakes up at 1am adn I have to lay with her till she falls asleep, tried it all, nothing seems to work!!!

If I find something I will be sure to contact you, sorry I couldn't help, I do hope we find a solution real soon!!!

Best of luck!!!

I.

My guess is that a change in the routine has brought about this behavior. We are having a similar issue with my daughter who just turned 4. We had several out-of-town guests stay with us for a week at the beginning of August so we had our 2 children (ages 4 and 5) sleep on our bedroom floor on their air mattresses. They thought that was so much fun. We told them if they behaved we would have these "sleepovers" from time to time as a special treat. When our guests left we put our kids back into their rooms at bedtime. For two weeks things had been great - no issues. Now all of a sudden my daughter wants me to sleep in her bed with her. I should note that prior to the guests coming she was in a toddler bed (we moved her into that from her crib on her 3rd birthday). After the guests left she went immediately into a twin size bed. Like I said, though, for 2 weeks she was fine with it. Now she cries for me at bedtime. I assume the changes are causing her to behave like this, but the 2 week delay seems odd. Anyway, after our 3rd night of bedtime battles my plan today is to have a discussion during the day about her new behavior. I am going to ask her what is bothering her at night and try to alleviate any fears or concerns she has. I'm going to talk about ways she can calm herself - tell her to look around her room so she knows she is in a safe place, remind her that she has her favorite stuffed animal with her, etc. Then before I start the bedtime routine I am going to remind her of what I expect from her in terms of her sleeping in her own bed (and me in mine). I'll keep you posted on how it works and I'll be curious to read what advice others have. Good luck!

I think it's normal behavior. It has been awhile since my son was that age but I remember him doing that. I think it was seperation anxiety. At some point he started getting night terrors too (around age 3) but that didn't last long. You really just need to reassure him that you are just in the other room, etc, etc and follow your normal routine. If you give in it will only make it worse.

My son did that for while also. It was like he discovered that there were things to be scared of in the dark. We started leaving a night light on in the hall and that helped a lot. Moving him to a regular bed might also help make staying in bed more appealing - just because it's new. Good Luck!