Switching to Toddler Bed

Updated on February 10, 2008
R.W. asks from North Brookfield, MA
23 answers

My son just turned two. We decided to get him a toddler bed. Its actually shaped like a car because he loves cars so we thought it would be easier to get him to sleep in it. The first night he had trouble falling asleep, my husband had to stay with him until he fell asleep but then he slept all night. Last night was the second night. I left his door open for a change and he fell asleep on his own. He woke up at 1:30 and went back to sleep after I went in and explained that he needed to go back to sleep and so did I, in my own bed. Then he woke up again at 4:30 and would not go back to leep and finally asked to go in his crib and fell asleep for about 5 minutes in his crib. When he woke up this time he just wanted to play. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can handle this. I don't want him to get used to us staying with him until he falls asleep and I won't let him sleep in our bed. I'm used to getting my sleep though, he's been sleeping through the night since he was 6 weeks old, we went through a few sleepless nights when he started teething but mostly he's been a good sleeper.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

take the crib down. give him a night light, a special blanket or toy and suck it up. it's a huge change for him, but make it fun.. sticker charts and rewards for staying in bed all night. He'll be fine, but if you give in to him, he'll keep waking up. when he finds he doesn't get his way, he'll just sleep thru the night. good luck

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I have 4 children...my first child I moved to a "big boy" bed when he was a little over 2 and we went through the same thing....for a long time. With my other 3 children I let them dictate when they switched beds....they all did it around 2 1/2 and it was an easy transition. My youngest who is 2 1/2 just decided around the holidays that she suddenly did not want to sleep in the crib. She has been sleeping soundly and through the night since December in a big bed in her sister's room. We are now talking about getting her her own bed. Maybe it is a little early and if you let him have some control over the situation you may have more success. Maybe try napping him in the race car bed and sleeping at night in the crib. Whatevr you do I firmly believe the getting the sleep you need is the most important thing. He WILL move to a grown up bed eventually and if you don't need the crib for another child don't push it. Give it time and the transition will be easy.

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W.S.

answers from Providence on

Remember that he is out of his secure element -his crib. The old theory was that if they tried to climb out of the crib - it was time to move them into a bed. There is no "age" that they have to be in a bed - but its for safety's sake.

So, presuming you need him to move into the bed, have him select his buddies to be with him in the bed. Tell him he will sleep much better with the room in a big boy bed! And maybe tell him when the sun is shining its time to get up, but to stay asleep til then. If he wakes up during the night, tell him to snuggle with his "bear" and makes sure the bear gets a good nights sleep. Sometimes, if they feel responsible for their animals (this worked for mine), they take it seriously!

I need sleep, too and was in a coma if my sons woke me up.....so I feel for you! It'll pass...soon! hugs.....

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D.P.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.

I think you are doing fine. I would receommend letting him decide where he wants to sleep for a little while (unless he is crawling out of the crib and you are afraid of him hurting himself. My daughter transitioned at 2 1/2 because I was pregnant and need the crib for #2. but we left the crib in her room for a while and she would sleep where she wanted. It did not take long before she was in her bed all night and didn't even care the new baby had the crib.

As for sleeping though the night. I found as soon as my daughter was toilet trained and waking to go to the bathroom she didn't sleep through anymore. But I would much rather get up to walk her back to bed than have to change sheets!!

My son is 27 months and still in his crib and I think I will let him stay there until he starts crawling out or asks for a big boy bed.

Good Luck.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi Rugh - Wow - all excellent responses and advice for you here!

This is KEY. In his own bed, all night. May take a few sleepless nights on your part, but then all will be well.

There is nothing more important in parenting that a child knowing that his parents mean what they say. Kind and loving is key in this case (and usually all cases!), but under no circumstances does he come into your bed or regress to the crib.

Also - again, key... Are you encouraging him throughout the day about what a big boy he is?? Trying to get back in the crib is somewhat a form of regression - who wants to grow up? And the crib is familiar.

So - stand firm (gently). Sit near the bed and rub his back - but stay OUT of it! This too will pass.

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M.S.

answers from Providence on

Not to discourage you from the switch but I really wish we had waited longer than 2 with our son. He turned 5 last week and he still comes into our room every night. Some nights we hear him and bring him back other nights we don't hear him or let him stay. He was a great sleeper in his crib and I don't know where we went wrong.

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A.S.

answers from Hartford on

Unless he really needs to move to a toddler bed (new baby, climbing out, etc), I'd let him stay in the crib where he's been sleeping well for a while. He might not be ready for a big bed. If you need him to sleep in big bed, just keep putting him back in his own bed. Eventually, it won't be worth it to him to keep coming into your room. It's hard to hear the crying and to deal with the sleepless nights, but he won't remember the experience.
We went through the same thing with our daughter, and it turned out that she just wasn't ready to move. She is 3 and is happily sleeping in her crib. She naps on her big bed, but isn't ready to be in there at night. I kind of like knowing that she's not up walking around at night. I'll keep that as long as she wants! (:

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A.L.

answers from Pittsfield on

I had to put my daughter in a toddler bed at 7 months old because she kept climbing out of her crib. She did like to get up and play during the night, but I found that if I put a baby gate in front of her door, and then closed the door, she was fine after a few nights.

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S.B.

answers from Burlington on

If you are not already, try reading a bedtime story. He also just may not be ready. It is alot to expect that he would transistion in 2 days so give it time. Did he ask to get a new bed? Perhaps start with naps in the big boy bed. The important thing is that you both get to sleep.

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L.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.,

My husband and I went through the same thing with our son when we attempted to switch him to a toddler bed, at right around the same age (he is now nearly 4). The best advice I can give you is to avoid putting too much pressure on him to sleep in it. My son took naps a few times in the bed in the beginning, and then refused to have anything to do with sleeing in the bed at all. It was becoming a power struggle and I finally decided to let him sleep in his crib and try the bed another time. The bed and the crib were both in his room for a few months, and then one day he asked if he could have his nap in the bed instead of the crib. He slept fine and did not get up. After a week of successfully napping in the bed, he wanted to sleep in it at night and never asked for his crib again. I think he just needed time to get used to the idea of the bed; he enjoyed sitting on it and having storytime on it and tucking his stuffed animals in, and when he felt okay with it he slept in it. If sleeping in the bed seems like it's becoming a power struggle, and if everyone in the house is getting little sleep, try the bed again later. Don't worry, he won't be 6 years old and still sleeping in his crib. :)

Good luck!
L.

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D.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.
My sister has had her 3 yr old sleeping w/ her since birth. I have always said there was going to be issues once she tried getting him into his ow bed. Recently it was time to make the switch and to my surprise she didn't have a problem at all. She just made him part of the plan. They went shopping for his bed together and he got to pick out the theme. She gave him tools to play with as she was putting it together and since night 1 he has been sleeping through the night on his own. I would try letting pick out new sheets and maybe pajamas, toothbrush etc. to try and make a production of the
'big boy" change.
Good luck!!
D.

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K.L.

answers from Boston on

We recently switched our daughter to her big girl bed too. We transitioned her by dragging the twin mattress into her room and laying it in front of the crib and she used it to take her naps on while still using the crib at night. After a week or so of that routine, she asked if she could sleep on the mattress at night and we let her. She liked it and said she wanted the big bed in her room. She sleeps through and hasn't fallen out yet....

We actually have trouble getting her to settle down once we leave the room. She wants to drag stuff out and play with it on her bed instead of getting her sleep. We do make several trips in and that gets annoying, but other than that she has taken very nicely to her big girl bed.

Hope this helps.

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K.A.

answers from Hartford on

Hi... have you considered just letting him cry it out? When my husband and I were sleep-training our daughter, we let her cry for five minutes, then went to comfort her; we would then add five more minutes each time she cried until she would stop crying. We never went past 15 or 20 minutes, but we didn't gave her the option to come over and sleep in our bed. It was a hard week, but it worked. That does not guarantee that it will work with every child, but it's worth a try.

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

When we switched our son into a toddler bed we put it in his room with his crib. We were very nervous since our little guy had never been a great sleeper and any change could result in major set backs (he used to wake up for the day at 3 a.m.!). We got him excited about it by talking about it while it was in his room without letting him sleep in it. Then we let him sleep in it for naps. This was a shorter period of time that allowed him to get acquainted to the bed without being too anxious. He finally asked to sleep in the bed at night after a week or two.

We now have a 2 1/2 year old who sleeps in the room with his bigger brother and we are preparing for the smae process. Fortunately, the little one likes to do what his big brother does so he has already asked to take naps in his brother's bed (which is a big bed - not even the toddler bed). We are now trying to figure out how to do the transition since the room probably isn't big enough for a bed, a crib and a toddler bed. My guess is that we will move some other furniture out for the short period of time it will take for our younger one to get used to the toddler bed. Oh the things we do for our kids!

Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

What I found helpful was a bed tent. You can get them at target.Both my kids adjusted great to their beds with the tent. I think it gives them an added secruity much like the sides of the crib.Good luck!
M.

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

R.
My daughter had a hard time switching also. As any new transition you will need to be patient. We left her crib in her room and let her decide eventually she choose the big bed and had a few rough nights. It will get better. He just might not be quite ready but if he is maybe something special to snuggle and trying to make the rules clear that he has to try to stay in bed etc...
It is to be expected that there will be a couple weeks at least where he's trying to get use to the new bed.
hope that helps. M.

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A.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi,
I am a mother of a 4 yr old daughter. I have some bad news...get used to him waking up in the night. My daughter still does it almost every night, several time s a night. She has a regular bed since she was 1.5 yrs old. It can be quite a struggle some nights. You may be lucky though since it seems you were with him sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. Good luck!

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

You could try taking the crib down and putting it away OR he may not be ready and is a little stressed about the new situation. If you waited for a couple of more months, he may ask to sleep in the new bed. Sometimes I do not sleep like I normally do when I am in a different bed!!

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

It was a long time ago,(my two are now 10 and 8 years old), but we made switching to a "big kid" bed a fun and slow transition. We started with naps only in the bed and night time in the crib. This let our children get accustomed to the idea of sleeping in a bed without the unknown associated with the dark. Then one day our child asked to sleep at night in the bed. Since it was their idea, things went a bit smoother.

Another thing we did was buy a digital clock and put it in the child's room. We would play "read the number" games at first but then started to introduce the idea that while you can wake up at any time you want, you must play quietly in your own room until the first number on the clock is a "7". I know this probably won't work for every child but it worked nicely for ours!

Good Luck.

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P.B.

answers from Boston on

A couple of things may be happening. #1 it is a new bed and different mattress. Remember how hard it is to get used to a new mattress? #2 he may feel insecure with out the security of the crib rails. Perhaps try one of those half rails that they make for this transition. I use one on the coach for my 3 year old granddaughter (who sleeps in her own bed without one at home). It gives her the sense of it's now a bed for night time use, not a couch for daytime use.

If you are determined to keep him in the toddler bed you may want to physically remove the crib, so he only has one bed.

Maybe he just needs to be in his crib a little longer. My son stayed in his until he was three, and it wasn't any big deal to him. When he got his big boy bed he was ready and willing to sleep in it. In fact he was so excited. We have photos of the big event, it still makes me smile when I remember how excited he was. (And ready.)

Hope this helps. Every child is different.

P.

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J.R.

answers from Springfield on

Hi R.-Maybe you should just skip the bed and go back to the crib-not as a punishment but just as a matter of fact. "The bed is here for you when you are ready but for now we are going to have you sleep in the crib". Sounds like you got spoiled with a good sleeper. It may be just too exciting, different for him right now. You could try having him take his naps in the bed and sleep at night in the crib. See how that works. Good luck.

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

I think what you are doing is perfect. Just keep it up and I'm sure he'll get use to the bed. Maybe taking the crib down will help.

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H.T.

answers from Boston on

I think it's only natural for anyone to have to get used to a new bed. I would say give him a week or so, while continuing to remind him to stay in bed and praise him about what a big boy he is! If after a week he's still struggling with sleeping, maybe he just isn't quite ready. :)

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