Please Help Me with This!!

Is there a man in his life that he can speak to? How would we know as women? I hope that he has a trusted male that he can talk to. I am not saying that he should not come to you. I just think at that age, he needs a respectable male perspective.

It's completely, totally, absolutely normal. The masturbation (3 x day) is very typical for his age. It's much more unusual -- but also very, very sweet and impressive -- for him to breathe a word about it to you. I think it's very, very important for you to reassure him that this is completely normal and there's nothing wrong with it. It's the way teenage boys "blow off steam" before they're mature enough to have sexual relations.

Just say, "Sure, maybe you will [have a high sex drive one day]; it's probably too soon to tell. But what you're talking about is part of the normal changes in your body at your age. It's okay to do what you're doing and to feel the way you do." Say this calmly and cheerfully, like it's no big deal, which it's not.

Also, I usually refrain from disagreeing with other moms who post on a given thread, but the moms who are saying it's weird or abnormal for him to tell you about this, or that teen boys don't "have to" masturbate -- I'm sure they're nice people, but they are not well informed on the topic of teenage-boy development. Please, please do not make this poor sweet kid feel ashamed! Please.

P.S. Oh, when I was in jr. high, the health teacher strongly advocated a book called Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. I was too embarrassed to even think about said book at the time, but from what I recall of her talk about it, it might be a good book for your cousin. This teacher went on and on about a chapter on masturbation, which to me at the time was a mortifying word just to *hear,* but clearly there's a need for books like this! Try hunting down a copy for him.

Yep. In a 14 year old boy this can be completely normal. Their hormones are going NUTS!

"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself." www.themommypsychologist.com

I have a teenaged son. We are very close and can talk about anything.
HOWEVER.... I can promise you I don't know if he masturbates or how often and when. I can promise he's never talked to his father about it either.
It's not something that's wrong, but for heaven's sakes, it's not something we need to go around sharing either and of all the many, many teenage boys I know, they wouldn't go around talking about it. Even amongst themselves.
Since he's really brought this up to you, I would get him some books about puberty and normal feelings of sexuality.
What he feels the need to do x amount of times per day really has no bearing on what kind of "sex drive" he will have "one day".
By the same token, every erection doesn't need to be "worked out", shall we say.
We're not monkeys, for heaven's sake.
I have a 20 year old nephew and he's never said anything to me or his mother or his dad about jerking off.
If it's something that's okay to be done in private, you don't necessarily have to announce it.
Masturbating might be normal, but I've never known a boy who wanted to tell someone he was doing it or how many times.
Maybe he thinks that makes him manly. I don't know.

Just my opinion.

Its completely normal sweetie!

When my step-sister's step son (I know!) was that age, he spent a LOT of time "resting" in his room! LOL
What a great thing he feels safe talking to you about anything--I think! haha

Teenage boys masturbate. It's uncomfortable to talk about, I know, but it gets easier. He is probably just worried that because he is doing it he isn't normal. It's okay to tell him it's difficult to talk about, but that he can always ask you about anything, including sex. Just tell him it's not abnormal (you also need to have the safe sex/how to use a condom talk now). But if you shame him he'll be less likely to talk to you about things other than sex, too.

That is totally normal and unless you want him to have weird sexual hang-ups for life, tell him not to use a "death grip" and then never have that conversation again. Masturbating is a whole lot better than having sex at that age, so don't discourage it. It won't harm him. Steer him toward Dan Savage for future questions if there isn't a male figure he can turn to.

ROFL... actually that's kind of LOW for a teenage boy... but Shhhhh! Don't tell him that. He may well want to prove otherwise and you'll never be able to get him out of the bathroom.

Its normal. The wind can blow a certain direction and cause an erection in a young boy. Do you have any male family members that he could talk to? Uncle, grandpa? older male cousin etc? I would see if you can get him tied into a positive male role model.

Did he just walk right up to you and proclaim this bluntly? If so, I find that pretty odd. Teen boys would generally be mortified for their mother (or mother figure) to know things like that, much less just randomly come out with that. I'd say he needs to be connected with a male figure to talk about this with.

Ok, so now his body is producing that substance for life. Their body makes too much and has to release some. That is where wet dreams come in to play. They do not have to masturbate. Keep in mind that some kids do it for emotional reasons. I agree, and depending on your faith as to which kind, a good book for either your husband to explain or for him to read.

Ok... why does he "HAVE" to masturbate 3 times a day? Is it because he is getting the spontaneous erections that are so common in teen boys, and he feels he needs to masturbate to bring it back down?

It doesn't take much to get an erection for a teen boy... sometimes just thinking about something, or looking at a girl, and all of a sudden... they have their notebook in front of their crotch, trying to hide what is happening.

My son didn't say anything about any of this when he was a teen... and I also have 3 older girls, so I don't really know how this goes.

No one HAS to masturbate, no matter what they think they should do. I think it's odd he even told you this. Otherwise, I think it's normal.

Three times a day is OK for a 14 year old, as long as he does it in privacy and doesn't let anybody else (like the younger kids) know what he is doing. Explain to him that masterbation is a private matter. He sounds like he is bragging about it, which is not acceptable behaviour.