HI A.,
Hmmmm - well my husband never did it all the time, but he used to every so often. I LOVED IT! It made me feel like he wanted me & wanted me right then & there. It was fun & hot & sexy & so spontaneous. And if he's saying "I want to f#&% you" well that 'bad word' isn't really used in a romantic way either - he's sounding like he desires you, craves you ... etc. Maybe its just your interpretation of it that's making it a problem.
However, if you've told him multiple times that you don't like it at all then he SHOULD respect your wishes & stop doing it. Atleast save it for a once in a very great while thing - hey he's gotta get his way too ya know! a relationship is all about give & take! - as long as he's not hurting you in any way shape or form & you're enjoying yourself - then it's ok. He's a guy, it's not all "ooohhh make love to me my beautiful princess.... " If I ever heard my husband say something like that to me I think Id vomit!
Maybe you should try marriage counseling. You guys are only a little way into the marriage game. As well as my husband & I . It'll be 5 yrs married for us come March. We've had our problems too - this past year has most certainly been the most difficult, but i'm pretty sure we'll get through it. We still love each other, but the whole sexual drive isn't there right now with our heads so full of everything going on. To be honest I never thought it would be this way this short into the marriage, but again - that's life! (I mean we still do it but it's not the same at all & certainly not as often by any means ... very different - but I think we both know the reason behind it & we're working together to fix it).
The point is -
#1 he needs to respect you, but at the same time you need to find a common ground with him. A neutral, mutual place where you both agree.
#2 be careful - don't let him hurt you in any way (mentally, emotionally, physically, etc) & don't hurt him either - you're husb & wife.
#3 be smart - ok if this is genuinely him just wanting you like crazy (which isn't really a bad thing) then you've gotta give every once in a while or he may run off & find someone who WILL give it to him as often as he wants. (I strongly believe in this part - I know noone wants to think about it - but I've witnessed it with TWO of mine & my husband's friends since we've been together and it's really REALLY sad). TRY THE COUNSELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#4 TRY TRY TRY to talk it out when the kids are asleep or out of the house. If you can't atleast agree to TRY counseling, then you need to come up with a list of questions yourself & ask him - find out for yourself - tell him again how you feel & let him know that this 'issue' is making you feel funny & that you really wish he would respect you & stop. ALSO that if he wants to try 'new techniques" in the bedroom, that you guys can brainstorm some ideas together & try them! You come up with ideas too. Maybe a change of pace will change things for the both of you.
I hope I've helped a little bit. I know it can be hard to talk about things like this. But it certainly helps when you've got opinions & advice to weigh & really think about before you make any harsh decisions.
Again this is just my opinion & advice. You can take it or throw it away. You do what works for you. I'm just giving you a view through a window I've watched into. I wish you the best of luck & God Bless.
C.