Please Help Me with My Friend

This is so very sad! I suggest that you tell her that you're there to help in any way she'd like. Wanting to be alone for awhile is a normal reaction. Tell her you recognize her need to be left alone (if that is what she's said) and ask that she call you anytime she wants. Suggest that you'll call every once in awhile because you care. Ask her if you can fix meals, help with the bay, do laundry, or anything else.

Then I would call her every day or two saying you're just calling to share a bit of love. If she wants to talk this will give her an opening. If not you can say a few words and hang up.

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Just hang out with her and be her friend. She will probably be having some pretty dark days and I am sure it will be nice to just have a friend over to hang out with.

Keep an ear out and keep in touch with people like her husband or mother so they know you're there for all of them. When she wants to talk, remind her you are her friend and ask her what she wants and needs. If she needs someone to walk the dog, then offer to do it. If she needs someone to run interference with mutual friends, offer to do it. If she needs someone to let her cry and yell, then offer to be there for her through that, too.

I'm sorry this time in your friend's life is bittersweet.

I'm sorry for your friend. She probably needs to process alot of stuff. If she will let you, you can let her talk it out and just listen without judgment. A friend who can do that is a real gift.

If she has not asked to be alone, don't assume she wants to be alone. Just ask her. When my son was very sick and we were dealing with a lot of horrible outcomes, we were very, very lonely since we have no family around here.

A friend of ours just hung out with us. We did playdates, lunch once in awhile and things like that in between what we had to do. It made a world of a difference just to have that to look forward to besides all the medical stuff we were dealing with.

Before that I was really struggling because any time we weren't doing medical stuff, we were planning more appts., planning more hospitalizations, talking about outcomes or dealing with insurance and it felt like that's all we had left in life. It was pretty scary. If you ask, you can get a feel for what she is really needing.

Other things that people did for us that may be helpful: make a dinner, even a frozen one takes the pressure off a day she needs to make dinner and helps her eat; offer to clean (after everything else, I did not have enough energy left in a day to do anything beyond basic straightening up for a bit), do some laundry, run some errands; offer to watch the baby for a morning so she can get some sleep; etc. I had a really hard time asking people to help, but if you offer to do something specific, it is a lot easier to take someone up on an individual offer.

Obviously with a new baby she already had a lot on her plate. Staying away without a phone call or at least card though can have the opposite effect when someone is dealing with something so big and scary and overwhelming. Just letting her vent and express her feelings could be helpful. She will be in our prayers!

I think you just need to leave her alone.
She has way too much to process right now.
I would send her a card letting her know that you will always be there for her anytime she needs you. Maybe find a pretty little angel that can "watch over her".
Put it in the mail so she can open it and read it when the time is right for her.
If she has expressed a wish to be left alone, I would respect that, even though I'm sure your instinct is to be there to do anything possible for her.
Give her time to let you know when she's ready. She's in pain emotionally and physically right now. I think you need to let her get things worked out. Of course she's upset and angry. She has a right to be. It may take time for her to work through that.
I would put together a little care package of some type and mail it to her. That way, you're sending your love while respecting her space.

I will keep her in my thoughts as well.

Best wishes.

Give a little space, then maybe bring dinner. I hear it is not helpful to say "what can I do?" but just do something kind.

I say respect her wishes but drop off food without staying, maybe ring the doorbell and leave it on the step, order andpay for food to be delivered,.....OR get a quick grocery order with diapers delivered if they're having money or time problems....and then maybe call the husband and let him know you're able to babysit or do anything he thinks she may need, or take her out for a day with no kids J. to get out.