Please, Help Me to NOT Be a Mama Bear. :(

Okay, don't be a mama bear.

Like you said, it's not a big deal, she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing and needed to be reprimanded.

If no one has ever talked to her like that, it's time she got a taste of the real world, so she won't collapse the first time she's reprimanded when she's older.

Just say, "Well honey, you're not supposed to stand up on the bus. It's dangerous. Don't do it and the bus driver won't yell at you."

Really, a little adversity is good for her.

She will survive. GEESH. She isn't going to know everyone's name in one day. Explain to your child that the driver knows where she gets off. This is real life now. People are not always going to be sweetness and light.

Having been on a bus with 30+ students, I can emphatically tell you that asking nicely IS NOT going to get the desired results. Also, expecting the bus driver to know your daughter's name this early in the year might be an unreasonable expectation. In my area bus drivers drive both a secondary, as well as an elementary route. That's a lot of kids to remember. Last, keep in mind that yelling is often the only way to be heard on a bus with lots of children. Yes, it would've been very nice and caring if the driver had gotten on her PA system and said, "Dear sweet little girl who is standing up...I must ask you to please sit down while the bus is moving. It's unsafe for you to be standing." But, really, is that realistic?

It's wonderful that your daughter has made it six years without anyone yelling at her. I admire your self-control as a mom, as well as all those around her. No, I'm not being sarcastic. Any mom who can go six years without yelling at her kids is a goddess and deserves much praise, in my book. I'd use this as a learning opportunity to not take things personally. That driver has the safety of 30+ kids, plus the other drivers on the road to consider. Yelling got that point across quickly and effectively. Personally, I think that takes precedence over your daughter's feelings.

Sorry. I realize I'm in the minority with this opinion, but if it were my kid, I would just say, "Sweetie, I'm sure the driver was just concerned for safety. Next time, wait until the bus stops before you stand up. If you can't see where you sit, ask the driver for a new seat and tell her why." If the driver refuses the new seat request, THEN you have a very good reason to get involved. Until then, I'd step back from the ledge and save your Mama Bear instincts for a more worthy fight.

Good luck.

Well, I have been on bus rides on field trips and honestly, I don't know HOW the bus drivers do it with all the noise and yelling...I think I would yell at everyone too and she probably had to just to be heard. And in reality, how would she know your daughters name since school just started. I would just explain that to my daughter and let it go. Bus drivers are like teachers, underpaid and underappreciated...in my opinion. Oh, and maybe tell your daughter to sit by the window on the side of the bus where she can see. Good luck!

Yoo-yoo! Get off the ledge, Molly!

I knew a school bus driver once. I don't know how she survived her work. Mamas who think they have a tough time managing their children at home should drive a school bus for one day.

I'm assuming that this driver is a worthwhile member of the school staff and totally trustworthy. The driver is just trying to get her job done. Her job is to get the children to and from school on time with no problems, no injuries, and no grief from her employers. She's not looking at individual children - she's looking at a teeming, noisy mass of something or other.

So teach your little girl that bus drivers sometimes yell (at her, even!) but that doesn't mean they're nasty. Is there a way she can help the bus driver? Yes - she can help by learning the rules and being kind.

You could even do this (are you ready for it?): teach your daughter to get on the bus and say "Good morning, Mrs. Smith" to the driver. (Saying the driver's name is important.) She should say it every day, even if the driver doesn't respond. Let your daughter report to you how it goes every day.

In the afternoons, she can learn to say (at least for the next couple of weeks), "Mrs. Smith, I'm not sure yet where I get off. Would you please tell me when we're close to Adams Road?"... and, when she's ready to disembark, "Thank you, Mrs. Smith. Goodbye."

Think of this circumstance as a terrific opportunity for your daughter to learn good manners toward a grownup in a way a six-year-old can handle by herself. Let her have that chance. If she's a girl who talks to her mama about things, you can keep up with the adventure and be there for any road bumps along the way (kids generally have less trouble from drivers than they do from other riders).

Wait to pull out the Mama Bear suit until it's a necessity. Too much Bear too many times dilutes its effect.

how is telling a child to "sit down" and not knowing her name treating her like a dog? I think you are way overreacting, and it sounds like your daughter needed to be told to sit down anyways, standing while the bus is in motion is dangerous.

The bus driver's #1 priority is student safety when driving the bus. Her job counts on it. She spoke firmly to make a point, and it's still early in the year so the rules really have to be enforced. Not all bus driver's are going to be sweet and gentle, it's life. Watching the road and driving 30+ little students of various ages isn't easy. Your daughter will figure out the stop and most likely try and sit somewhere that she can see better.

I do understand that she's only 6, I'd probably be a bit upset that my child just got yelled at. Just explained to her why...the driver was worried and wants everyone to be safe. This is minor stuff.

First of all, did you hear the bus driver? If you didn't then you really need to calm down. She may have spoke up but if your daughter isn't used to being yelled at it could sound worse in her words than it really is. If you did hear it, it could sound worse because it is your baby, ya know.

The thing is she cannot be standing up on the bus. As much as you want to protect her, you are not protecting her by putting the emphasis on how the bus driver spoke instead of what she said. She cannot stand up when the bus is moving. If she needs some coping techniques she needs to learn who are the other kids on her stop. Especially the older ones. When they start to get up then she knows she needs to get up. She also needs to know that the bus driver is going to make sure she gets home so she doesn't need to worry so much that she feels she needs to get up.

Will that work?

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she's six!! obviously one of the smallest/youngest in her care. i agree she was out of line. maybe introduce her tomorrow along with something like, "she was a little upset that you seemed to snap at her yesterday, i told her you didn't mean to sound like that and you were probably just having a rough day." that's the nicest i could be about it. and i would have a hard time not sounding completely sarcastic. but yes, i agree you have a right to be a little upset. hopefully by tomorrow you will have calmed down a bit. otherwise if you're still too angry, maybe call the lady's boss. don't call her up and yell at her too, but maybe it'd be easier for you to talk calmly to someone who wasn't involved. good luck. poor kiddo.

Wait, and Why is it you want to NOT be a MamaBear?

At some point in your daughter's life, she will be able to approach the bus driver and say.....'I'm sorry, Mrs. X, I know I'm not supposed to stand up while the bus is moving, but I am unsure for now of where my stop is, and I'm very new to this bus riding thing, and I'm very nervous about missing my stop because I can't actually SEE my Mom standing there waiting for me. Soon, I will know exactly where we are and will KNOW my mom is there waiting, but TODAY and possibly for a few more days, I'm a little scared that I won't get it right and will forget and break the rules.'

So.....how will your daughter LEARN to how DO THIS and cope with such situations in the future, you ask?......Why, by YOUR modeling it FOR her NOW.

So, really, how can MamaBear EVER be a bad thing?!

:)

I'd feel the same way as you. Try to also put yourself in the bus driver's shoes. She was concerned about your daughter's safety as it is dangerous to stand while the bus is moving. A sudden stop could've sent her flying. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Try to let it go and remind your daughter not to stand while the bus is moving. I'd feel the same as you but sometimes if I try to put myself in the other shoe, it helps calm the mama bear down. =)

Um....I don't know if I should talk you off the ledge! The bus driver was very rude and shouldn't talk to anyone, especially little people, like that. Maybe talk to her when you aren't feeling furious. Also, it's a good learning experience for your daughter to learn to ignore rude people!

It does seem harsh, but I would agree with others this might be the first step in your daughter developing some "immunity" to others who will not always speak sweetly and kindly to her, and may correct her, even scold a little, when necessary. The driver probably needed her to SIT DOWN NOW and do it quickly before she or someone else got hurt and may have been reacting more than anything - better my child get yelled at and maybe get their feelings hurt than end up more physically injured or worse.

I remember when my stepson was 6 and wanted to take soccer in the worst way, but his mother would not sign him up for it. Because his cousin was on the team and she did not like the way the coach talked to the kids. I honestly don't know if the guy was that over the top or not, but I remember how upset my stepson was that Mom wouldn't let him play soccer. I know she only thought she was protecting him, but she's tried to overprotect those boys all their lives and now that they are teens, they can't seem to cope with any adversity whatsoever - and they still seem to resent the fact that she wouldn't let them give the soccer a try. They may have handled the coach better than she believed they would but she wasn't willing to give them the chance.

It seems a little harsh, but safety (sitting) was more important than kindness at that particular moment.
Have you ever ridden on a bus load of kids, like for a field trip? I don't know what those bus drivers make per hour, but I can guarantee you it is much too little!
My son also had trouble recognizing his stop from the direction the bus was traveling when he was in K, and we enlisted the help of a neighbor girl (3rd grader) who tapped his shoulder and made sure he knew it was his stop for the first week or so. Any chance of that working for you?

Actually, I hope you did say something to the bus driver. It is obvious your daughter is new to the bus system. The driver could have nicely told her to sit down and explained to her that for safety reasons, no one is allowed to stand up while the bus is moving. then, if she does it again, maybe the bus driver would have reason to be a little more "forceful." Bus drivers think they can do/say whatever they want to the kids because they are not monitored by anyone so you do need to advocate for your daughter. I bet if you let her know that your child told you, she won't be picking on your child again - she'll find another victim!

Come down off the ledge. Driving a bus is stressful and a huge responsibility. The drivers are responsible for more kids than a teacher is at one time. And they are also DRIVING the bus while supervising these kids. Standing up when the bus is moving is a safety thing and has to be addressed right away. It is a couple days into the school year and I would not think the driver would know her name. Yes, it was a little harsh but it was also quick and short and addressed the issue. I think you and your daughter both need to move past this.

You for sure do not want to make an enemy of the person who is responsible for your daughter twice every day! Keep in mind the bus driver probably has 30-40 kids on the bus and certainly has not learned all their names yet. You might want to go out and introduce yourself and let the driver know you have concerns that your daughter might need a little help the first few weeks. You might suggest to your daughter she needs to sit by the window so she can see and explain the bus safety rules to her. It will work out.

No way. I'd tell her what her name is when you put her on the bus tomorrow and explain to her she is still learning the route.
My dd busdriver has been really sweet, hopefully the busdriver will be nicer in the future.