Please Help!! - Saginaw, MI

It may be one of those things that he'll eventually get used to. Maybe see if Grandma would be willing to come over for dinner, at the apartment. Explain to her ahead of time the problems you are running into. Then when she is there, she can "talk up" the apartment - how nice his room is, little things like that. If she comes over on a regular basis, he may begin to realize that even though he's living away from Grandma, that she is still around and there for him. It's not leaving Grandma, just living somewhere else.

I wonder if having pictures of grandma sitting out would help him or perhaps a couple of items from grandma's house such as some little trinkets.
Maybe grandma could make him something special like a drawing or crafty type item that he could hang in a special place to know she is always with him. Or maybe grandma and your son
could go to Build A Bear and make a very special bear together that will hold her love while she is not with him.
Maybe she could call each morning or night to give him some helpful words of love as he adusts to his new home.
Maybe on the weekend or a free evening you could invite a playmate over to help him transition or if your apartment complex has a play area or pool that is always a good place to meet playmates. Perhaps once he makes new friends it will help take his mind off the things he is missing.
Congratulations on your new apartment. I bet that is so nice for you. What a huge job to be a single mother. It's hard enough doing it with two people. Kudo's to you.
Best Wishes.
M.

get him involved in the decor of his room. put a picture of granny in there. Explain granny needs her own home and you need your own home.

I'd reassure him that he'll see Grandma often and make sure it happens.. if you need to sleep in the same room with him during the transition.. that may help him to feel safer.

Sounds like he is reacting to his loss. I know it sounds strange but when young ones move from the only place they have known, it is a loss to them (similar to death). Try to help him by making it is his own but still having some things from Grandma's so it is like his old home too. I hope this helps.

You may just have to go through a period where he is always with you (except bathroom). Try to include him in whatever you're doing. Maybe even let him sleep with you for a while -- I assure you, you are NOT setting him up to sleep with you for the rest of his life, you're just meeting a need he has for reassurance right now.

We moved recently, and my three year old was all over us. For the first week we let him sleep in our bed and then moved him back to his room (by that time he was comfortable with the new surroundings). Letting him call grandma, and even having her visit and maybe stay the night might be helpful for him. Fun grandma sleepovers can be great for adjusting! By the end of the second week he could care less that we had moved.

This is hard because I think he's experiencing similar feelings to what other kids whose parents get divorced because all of a sudden their other "parent" isn't there with them every day. I think you need to continue to love and support him until he rebuilds his feelings of security and also let him talk to and visit his grandma as much as possible so that she can help reassure him that she also loves him and will always be there for him even if they live in different houses.

Good luck!

S.,

It has to be very hard for your little guy to understand that part of his family can't live with him anymore.

Would your mom be able to give him a special lovey that is only from Grandma? Maybe a Build-a-bear, or something like that. A special animal that he can snuggle each night to remind himself how much his Grandma loves him and how they are connected through the special gift.

You might also want to ask your mom to give him a call right before bed time. I'm sure there was some sort of routine that his Grandma helped to put him to bed every night. He may need to hear her voice just before bed so the routine is changed, but she is still a part of his every day life.

I hope these suggestions help. Good luck with your little one.

Could Grandma stay the night once "if he's a big boy all week?"

Would your mom be willing to come to your place "frequently" for a couple weeks (like 4-5 times?) and then a little less the next few weeks (3 times week) and then come over regularly once to twice a week indefinitely?
Also, would she be up for having your son spend the night at he house once every other weekend?
Your mom has obviously been a huge part of his life, and in essence is a second parent. A 'transition' is truly what he needs to get used to not seeing her every day. It makes absolute sense that he is crying all night. His world, as he knows it has been completely altered and he is feeling a 'loss'. The more she is around him at his new home, the more it will make his new home begin to feel like it is a 'home'. But definitely have the bulk of her time spent with him be at your apartment since that is where the transition is needed.
Also, try to replicate the room he had at your mom's house. The more his room at your apartment feels 'familiar', the easier the transition will be for him. For example, bring the photos, artwork, trinkets,etc. from his old room to his new room. And make sure there are photos of your mom around too.
Just a guess here, but I am sure your mom is feeling an emptiness too ever since you moved out. I'm sure she will be happy to help him with this emtional transition...it will probably be therapuetic for her too.
Good luck.

OK, I have done extensive research online and in books about moving with children. There was little or no info... and then I found this. I know you have already moved, but the information here might still be of a big help!!

http://blog.thebittingerteam.com/

I hope things are getting better!!