Playgroup for 11 Yr Old?

Updated on November 20, 2007
A.W. asks from South Saint Paul, MN
6 answers

I have an 11 year old son who seems to have a hard time making friends. He has ADHD and gets teased quite a bit in school about this. He cries about not having any friends so I thought I would try and find a playgroup but I am finding that they are all for young children - any suggestions?? Thank you!!

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

does he have a special class at school? what i mean, is he pulled out during the day to meet with another teacher and a group of kids for extra help, etc?? if so, see if you can invite these kids like him over for a big kid playdate. Maybe a video game tourneyment with pizza, rollerskating, etc. He can make friendships with kids who understand him and they can also help each other when other kids tease them. My nephew is a little different too with ADHD, but the moms have helped these kids form friendships outside of school. It had been the first time for some of these kids to get invited for sleep overs and birthday parties. Also, it gave the moms a brake because they took turns hosting sleepovers! good luck...kids can be mean, even if you are totally normal! Even if he can make one or two buddies, schoollife will be so much more tolerable!

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L.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A.,

My son is older, but has ADHD. When he was about your son's age he started playing in Chess group after school. He really enjoyed it and was quite good at it. He even went to a State tournament several times. It helped him also to make friends that were interested in the same things and to feel more at ease about making friends. You can also check with his special ed teacher to see if he/she would have any suggestions. I agree with the other responses he is to old to schedule a "play date", but if you phrase it as to "hang out" he might be more at ease with inviting friends over. Good Luck and hang in there! L.

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S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a 10 year old in the same situation. He AS and has a very hard time keeping friends. Where are you at? We're just north of St. Paul.

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C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A.. I also have a 9 year old who has Aspergers and ADHD. He is a very normal kid at home. He just struggles in school and making friends. I think it's really important for the parents to help their kids make friends. Getting the boys together would be fun. I wouldn't call it a play group, more like to get together and "hangout". I'm open to helping my son make friends and meeting other kids his age. Please feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com.
Thanks,
C.

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A.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would shy away from a "playgroup" type situation. When kids are that age, I think they sort of resent being stuck together to make friends. I remember feeling pretty awkward around my parents' friend's kids.

Maybe getting him involved in an extracurricular would be easier. Try to find something he's good at or is interested in, so he doesn't feel like an odd duck all over again.

I'd say boyscouts, but there's a lot of sitting and listening there, so that might be an anxious situation with his ADHD. Maybe something active, like soccer or hockey or martial arts. Martial arts might be good for his ADHD, too, it teaches focus and self discapline, if he's interested, it'd be great for him. Make sure the kids in the group aren't from his school, so that his reputation for being someone to tease doesn't follow him.

My brother has ADHD, but when he's interested in something, he can focus for longer. He's older now, with his own kids and things are easier for him.

Also, I wonder if a mentor would help him feel better, maybe you could find an adult or older kid with ADHD that could help him cope. I'd suggest my brother, but he lives out of the area. I bet if you poked around online you could find a program like that or a support group that might lead you to the right person. I'd be willing to help, if you wanted me to, just send me a message, if you'd like.

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hey A.. My son, who is 9, has a friend who has augsberg (however you spell it)and his mother has expressed to me that he is going through a similar thing at his new school and how great his friendship with my son has been for him. (Not that that that is the same as ADHD) His friend will call to set up playdates (even though they are kinda old for that) and fortunately my son just sees him as someone that is his friend, nothing more. If you would at all be interested in getting our boys together, I know my son would be all up for it. I know he is a little younger, but I think they are pretty close.

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