My Seven Year Old Has Trouble Keeping Friends, Why?

Some other people have mentioned arranging playdates and I will say the same. That's what seems to kind of cement friendships. Real 1:1 play. My youngest is not good in groups etc so I have always gone the playdate route to help her establish a good friendship and it's worked. So hopefully you haven't been doing that and can start!

Maybe choose a friend or two to invite over instead of waiting for an invitation. Also, if she can tell who the shy-er kids are, she might make an effort to befriend them. Lots of them probably feel the same way she does. I'm sorry she's hurting. :(

She needs more outlets than just school to make friends.

Our daughter had school friends, friends from the neighborhood, friends from her martial arts classes, friends from cheer and friends from specific study groups at school, etc.

You don't rely on 1 source for friends.

My daughter never had THE BFF. She's always had a group of friends.

Best wishes!!

Some kids don't have a "best" friend, but have several good friends.

Just curious.... do you assist her by helping her make play dates or sleep overs? She may need your guidance in setting these things up.....

7 years old is a bit young to expect a best friend already. At that age it's whoever happens to be on the monkey bars the same time as them every day.

Especially in a public school, where there are 3 classes in each grade, the friends change each year depending on who is in which class. But you mentioned Catholic School, which to me means they probably have one class that sticks together year to year. That can be a little limiting.

I will say one thing, you have to do the inviting at this age. That is pretty much what solidifies a friendship at that age. Playdates, parties, and outings. If you haven't had any girls over to your house to play yet, hosted a bday party, or arranged to meet up with someone at the park or zoo or something, that's probably all you need to do to tip the scales.

I also have a 7 year old girl. She doesn't have a best friend yet but she has quite a few she calls friends. The ones I like, I encourage further with playdates and stuff, and a few she just plays with at school.

She is still VERY young. Friends come and go at this age, quickly, including "best" friends.
Just keep encouraging her to have friends over and get together and do things. We don't live in a kid neighborhood so I always had to take my kids to the pool and/or call/email parents to have play dates.
And don't focus on school only friends, sign her up for other things she's interested in, art, music, sports, drama, karate, cooking, church group, whatever. The more kids she's exposed to the less likely she is to be depressed about being left out by any one group.

Not everyone has a best friend.
You might try putting her into a bigger school where she can meet more people.
If that's not doable, get her into an after school activity so she has friends outside of school.

I have a 12 yr old daughter who also attends a Catholic school. Your daughter sounds a lot like mine. She struggled with keeping friends until 5th grade or so. In 2nd and 3rd grade she played with either younger or older kids at lunch/recess because not one girl in her grade would play with her. I didn't think she'd ever find her niche. It took her a little longer than average to figure out social cues and sort of play the game. Now she understands how friendships work, and she has a small group of 4-5 girls that she hangs out with regularly.

The best way to help your daughter? Start by role playing. If she's bossy, role play with you being her and show her that people don't like to be bossed around. Then play her taking a more compromising role. Teach her the art of good listening and asking questions of her friends to get them talking about themselves. I always tell my daughter to listen more and talk less. I think this has helped her greatly.

She'll figure it out. My daughter did and yours will too!

Seven is still really young to expect her to keep a friend for more than a school year that's her "best" friend. If she's generally well liked by her peers and her classmates like her, I wouldn't worry about it yet.

They're still learning how to be friends, and they're at that age where it's hard for a lot of parents to step back and let them figure it out on their own. I see far too many parents trying to manage their childrens friendships for them rather than offering advice when the children ask. My children have learned how to treat their friends, especially the ones they want to keep, by my example with my own friends.

I can't tell you how often my daughters, all of them now, come to me with friend questions. Sometimes it's just to vent. I listen and then ask them if they want advice. Sometimes they do, sometimes not. Sometimes they take the advice, sometimes not. They're learning their way. But they always want to handle it themselves and they always have. Even when their hearts, and thus mine, are breaking.

I know you want to fix this, but at that age, best friends come and go. My dd is 11 and she really didn't know who her true friends were until 4th-5th grade. Maybe you could help her by inviting different kids to go to activities or play dates. My dd is an only child and I am constantly setting up arrangements for kids to come over.

my younger son has had 'best friends' since before he was even verbal.
my older just hung out with groups of friends, and didn't have a bestie until he was a tween.
it's good to be understanding and sympathetic, but don't go overboard. you don't want to feed into this. friendships are all unique when it comes down to it. until the magic spark happens and she finds her kindred spirit, help her be more accepting of her own particular way of relating to other kids, and how to find joy in it. if she's REALLY making friends and then losing them constantly, it's time to look more deeply. there's something causing that.
but it sounds like she's a well-liked kid who has expectations of relationships that just haven't materialized yet.
khairete
S.