Having read and contributed to the post on "Anything Moms can do, Dad's can do equally" blog post, I'd just like to put the following out there:
I am grateful to have a wonderful husband and Daddy to my daughter. He is 50/50 fer sure, if not more. Sure he micromanages at time but I would rather have that than a father uninvolved, aloof and expecting me to do everything. Some things I believe he does better than me, and vice versa. And many of these things go AGAINST stereotypes. For example, my husband loves to cook and my daughter cooks with him! I will take my daughter out in the snow (gasp!) without snowpants and let her get soaked because she's having fun and clothes can always be changed!
I think that's why I like the blog post so much. It goes against the grain of stereotypes.
Maybe it was the title that upset some of us, but I think he was just saying that there are Dad's out there who LIKE to be involved. I say yay! Anyone else?
Oye! I let my daughter play in ithe snow, sans snowpants for like TEN minutes outside the house and then we go in and change!!! I'm not going to deprive her of snow short-term because of one thing I still have to buy.
it just seems a little archaic to me. movies like mr. mom were so 'funny' back in the day but i'm really tickled that no one today seems to think that dads taking care of kids is such an anomaly.
except for mainstream tv, which is always about a decade behind.
i think dads who are hands-off are now the exception, by far.
khairete
S.
Can we forward this thread to that guy. They he will really realize he isn't special, we attack each other as well.
I remember as a child, zero out, snow, water, soaked to the bone, still stayed out for another four hours. I still have all my digits, never had hypothermia, and sure as heck never got pneumonia since most viruses and bacteria don't survive is zero degrees and I am pretty sure they are airborne, not water borne. :p
If I live to be a hundred I will never understand attacking people you are jealous of.
Oh, and none of my kids even own snow pants and they are all thriving.
I don't know too many uninvolved Dads in this day and age. My kids are 17 and 13 now. My husband was a hands on parent from the day they were born. I don't mean that I'd say, "Honey, I think she needs a new diaper" and he'd do it or that I could ask him a "favor" to watch the kids while I got a haircut. I mean that sometimes he was the one to take them to checkups, to stay home when they were sick (we swapped based on who had meetings or a busier work day on those days), I travelled for business and he had our daughter for 5 days at a time when she was 2 and 3 years old, he'd take the kids out for the day on weekends, it was never assumed that I was always on duty. Sure, he'd do things differently than me, like dress them in the first outfit he could find - corderouy (sp?) pants and a turtleneck in May, or if he took them to his moms and didnt' bring any diapers and had to buy them, he'd always buy smaller sizes than they wore, but so what? Sure, he couldn't breastfeed them and he HATED feeding baby food, he'd have much rather changed the diapers. The kids are older now and we divide things differently - he's the parent chaperoning the 4H and Scout events, I'm the one who teaches the kids to drive and does the college visit/application process with them. We've had a great co-parenting relationship, where my husband isnt' a helper and I'm not the primary parent.
I think he brings light to a huge issue plagueing society today. Somehow we've come to treat parenting like a competition, and we feel threatened by any parent who appears to be more loving, more involved, happier, more successful, etc., than we feel at that moment. Which is ridiculous!! We all have something to prove as parents...but we're supposed to prove it to our kids, not other parents (or the internet!).
Meh - another article about a 10,000 year old stereotype. Shocking.
But I LOVED that woman that kept posting replies to other commenters. She could NOT stop discussing divorce! It was hilarious....
Some commenter: "Great article - my husband is awesome too."
Woman: "Just keep in mind that most divorces are 90% female initiative and society and judges will award the care of the child to the mother b/c the mother decides if a dad is involved, or can even get her pregnant."
rofl
I think my husband and I are equelly different. I do all the mom things he does all the dad things.
Just a tip for you. Frostbite and Hypothermia when really cold and wet happens quickly when it's a child is in wet cold clothes. Sure clothes can be changed. But how easy is it to just put them in snowpants so they do not get sick.
Moms are usually the primary care givers, but there are many dads who help with the kids -beyond working to provide for them. My husband does doctor's appointments, helps with homework, takes our daughter shopping, etc. sometimes it is a case of us moms giving them the space to handle tasks in their way. I don't need things done my way. I just need them done and his way is fine. It is ok if mom and dad contribute differently to child rearing. We seem to get stuck in the stereotype of the super mom solely managing the kids and the hard working father bringing home the bacon. This is not the standard for a family dynamic. Then there are the other dads, who prefer not to be involved and the wives who are ok with this. To each, his own.
So should we pat you on the back, too??
(By the way, your snow story is way off topic. But I'll point out how wrong that is. It's a great way to catch pneumonia!)
My husband works 10-12 hours a day. And now with the snow he has to be out plowing for however long it takes, even 48 hours straight if necessary. When he's home he is an active parent.
I suppose I don't understand the term "involved dad" either. My husband is involved with his children. He works his butt off to provide for them. Is it 50/50? Of course not! That would be impossible since I am with them 24/7 and he isn't. And that doesn't make him any less of a parent or any less "involved".
