Picky Eater

Updated on December 30, 2007
B.S. asks from Escondido, CA
15 answers

Hey Moms, my 17 month old daughter is being a picky eater! Help me please! Mostly dinner time is the hardest. She used to eat veges, and now she is not eating most of any veges. She won't eat meat, unless it's a hot dog (which is not our dinner food). She usually wants the starch (rice, potatoes, fries, etc...). I don't want to fix different foods because I don't want her used to eating whatever she wants to or eating greasy foods every night. I even made meatloaf and tried to hide some veges in that or in mashed potatos, but she is wising up to it and picks them out. It is really hard for me because I don't like to see her hungry but I just don't want to give in. Last night she was hungry before bed so I gave her a banana (gave in!)- is thisjust a phase that all toddlers go through? How long does it last? What advice can you share that has worked with your kiddos? Thank you

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just for you and ten zillion, trillion other M.'s and Dad's that have this issue...they will not starve, I have three children to prove this fact...make sure she drinks liquids, cut down on the milk products, love her to pieces, play all the time, laugh, love and be patient and just remember God created her so what could be negative about any of that? Eat, not eat, don't worry anymore, God provides all that as the days go on...just enjoy,

2 moms found this helpful
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R.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear B.,
I hear myself in your request. You have a girl and so this will take your careful attention to be sure food is not an issue for her later on. Don't fight about food!!! My daughter is 12 now and just does not have the same relationship with food that I do. Turns out that's a good thing. She eats when she is hungry and at no other time. She listens to her stomach tell her when and how much to eat rather than just because others are or because there is a lot on the plate. Here's what I learned. Have only those foods available to her that you wish her to eat. When she seems hungry (lunch/ snack) give her a choice of good foods so she feels she is actually making the choice. Young children don't often develop a taste for meat until later. I remember my pediatrician explaining that the texture for some kids is not what they like at first. Slowly introduce new foods and limit the carbs. if that bothers you. Don't be anxious or fight about it as she will pick up your anxiety about food. Relax- the doctor told me, "She won't starve and she won't let you starve her - so let go." Good luck,
Becca

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
All i can say is - puree it! Steam then puree whatever veggie you want her to eat and put it into the meatloaf or in small dosages into the mashed potatoes, definitely in spaghetti sauce with pasta (maybe try the spinach pasta). Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think everyone goes through this. First, remember her vitamins - that'll relieve some of your worries about meeting her nutritional needs. Also, always offer her what everyone else is eating - let her try if she wants, but don't get into a fight. Lastly, if my children were still small (and I'm considering it, even though they aren't) try one of the books out there about hiding veggies in everyday foods, like Jessica Seinfeld's Decepetively Delish (I think that's the name)

Good luck!
B.

(I just looked at Felicia's response, and I too had a 1 bite rule - until my son vomitted his peas all over the rest of his dinner!)

1 mom found this helpful
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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've been going through this for months with my now 28 month old daughter who only wants chicken nuggets and hot dogs! It really is just a faze but in the meantime you can try giving her the new juices that contain veggies also like Juicy Juice or V8 fusion. Also Jessica Seinfeld wrote a fantastic book called Deceptively delicious. She shows you how to cook, puree and successfully hide any kind of veggie in foods that your kids will eat. She even hides veggies in baked sweets and you wouldn't know it. But it does pass. My nephew would only eat Ritz crackers and tuna for years. He's a healthy teen now who eats everything!

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

I boil cauliflower and it mashes right in with the mashed potatoes, nobody, not even my husband knows it's in there. I also switched out my daughters American cheese slices, which I really didn't like buying in the first place, with Veggie Slices American cheese flavored. She has not noticed the difference. I feel for you, my kids, most kids are picky. My son(8 yrs) has grown out of it and will eat most anything now.
My daughter(6yrs) not so much. I have faith that she too will grow out of it. Keep offering it , one day they will eat it!

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi B.,
I have a healthy 16-month old and she is a somewhat picky eater. She doesn't like to eat her vegies either, so I have pureed carrots/sweet potatoes/squash and baked them in Banana Bread and blueberry muffins. At least she is getting some intake of the nutrients. Oh, try sweet potato mashed potatoes-I believe there are a lot more nutrients in those then regular potatoes.

Your daughter isn't always going to be on the same schedule as you would like. If she is hungry before bed, there shouldn't be an reason why she can't have a piece of fruit or some milk. Just keep putting food in front of her at her dinner time so she knows that is when the family eats dinner. She will eat when she is hungry-I know really frustrating but it is true. There are many nights where my daughter just throws her entire plate on the ground(I still insist that she drinks her milk though).
Good Luck!

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K.D.

answers from Honolulu on

Hi B.. Feeding our children, I believe, can be one of the most difficult lessons as mothers. My son is 23 months old now and he goes through phases of loving to eat- to the point I feel I can't keep up, and times when I can't fix anything right. I figured out a schedule that I try my best to stick to. This has helped. Try keeping track of her bowel movement patterns. We eat breakfast at 7:45 am, little snack at 10 15isham, lunch at 12:45, I hope for a nap between 1:20 and 2:20. than snack again at 3:30, bath at 5:30, and dinner at 7:30. I know that keeping a schedule is so hard in this modern life and I admit to falling out of it (I'm working and going to school, so I can only have so much control). Though I try my best to stay with it. He is happiest when I can do this. Probably because his hunger needs are met, but even more, he has my attention when i follow this schedule.

Never pressure her into anything. I'm sure she'll eat if she's hungry enough. The reason I say feeding our children is so difficult is because I believe I can't always feed myself properly. I try to eat local organic food, and rarely eat canned or pre packaged foods because I believe in the intimacy of handling my food, but as I said, modern life makes this hard.

A really tasty and nutrient rich food is pureed potatoes, carrots, and a little bit of garlic, and sprinkles of spirulina, or brown rice, barley, and nori with a tiny bit of braggs amino acids, almond butter on sprouted breads or apples, Pureed avocado with yogurt and a hint of agave (sweetener from the agave cactus, great for diabetics).... health snack foods sometimes get's us through the day when my son won't eat meals. As she gets older you can involve her more in the process of making your meals, if you don't already. My son loves to help in the kitchen, but my goodness, be ready for a mess of fun!

I noticed he won't eat much when he misses a bowel movement. I'm still trying to figure the reason for this out. Papaya has been our hero!

Good luck, I never knew mother hood would be so immense in all of it's details, yet so simple -for the need to slow down and really embrace the world of your child is above all, the door to understanding.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

100% normal. Do not make an issue of it or you will regret it in the long run, especially with a girl.

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B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used to give my son frozen peas in a little bowl with a plastic spoon. He thought it was a "treat", especially in the summer. Before he could handle a spoon, I gave him frozen green beans to pick up and eat. I agree not to get upset about it, and that it is very normal. I hope this helps you!
From B. (mom of 11 year old boy that eats almost everything now.)

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kids will eat what kids want to eat and they will eat when they are hungry (which isn't necessarily on our schedule). You are responsible only for providing her with healthy choices. You say she will only eat hot dogs, well what if that wasn't an option? Don't buy hotdogs! (Just out of curiousity, do you know what is in hot dogs?) Let her know that is no longer an option. Instead give her healthy options and when she is hungry she will eat. Your child will not starve if there is food provided to her. She may fuss and cry (something that is about her and not you) and you may have to put up with it. I am not saying torutre her or you, just let her know that you are the one making the food choices and you will decide what is best.

** my suggestion, start your daughter off in the AM with a high quality protein shake (in the form of a a breakfast smoothie) and if you buy it at Wal-Mart it is NOT high quality - set her up with the vitamins she needs for optimal growth, none of us get what vitamins and minerals we need from our food any more. And then give her healthy choices. Once her body has what it requirs to sustain healthy growth, the other needs (in way of tastes and wants) will fall into place.

Now having said that, what are your eating habits? Are you consistently providing your entire family with healthy choices? Are you "walking the walk" as they say or are you like many moms I coach who say "well, I feed my children way better than I feed myself"?

B., this subject is near and dear to my heart as I am a family health and wellness coach and I see teens everyday who are obese mostly because "they were picky eaters and would only eat..." you fill in the blank. I work with families who have spent the last 10 years or more "just getting them to eat" instead of teaching them how to eat. I teach families how to eat.

I offer free 45 minute family consultations with no obligation to use my services in the future if you don't like what we come up with. But I will evaluate your family life and how to best adapt to the needs of your total health and wellness. Whether you work with me again or not, the information is yours forever.

Let me know if you would like to book a consultation. It is open to everyone.

B.
www.HeyYouGetReal.com

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear B.,

The more you try, the harder it will be on you. She will eat when she is hungry. Just ask her if she is finished , then give her a bit of dessert, not a lot and clean her face and take her down from the table. She is going through a non growing time probably, and will start eating again when her body needs it.

Simple as that. You need to chose your battles very carefully, and this is not one that you will win, so back down and pay no attention.

If she gets hungry in between meals, then give her a bit of fruit or something like that. My daughter did that and everyone said that I was spoiling her. She is almost 50 now and still choses her food carefully and is a reasonable weight.

Yes, umhuh that is true. C. N.

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A.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Broke;

My advise to you is to give her some food that she like to eat than nothing to eat. This advised is came from my pediatrician doctor when I am concern with my children who are picky eater two. Ask her some other vegetables that she like to eat and cook for her as special treat for her. Give her salad or fruit salad to eat which is healthy and nutritious. Also you can start making a bargain with her and see if she response to make your life easy. Anyway, later on in life, we have to let our children learn how to make a decision and negotiate. It is an idea and see what will happen. Please let me know.

A.

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F.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a 1 bite rule in my house. You have to have at least 1 bite of everything on the plate. You can have more if you like. The rule stands even if you've had the same thing last week. Try your veggies with different toppings like cheese sauce or white sauce. You can even start cooking with her which may get her interested in trying food again. There are wonderful children's cook books with simple recipes.Good Luck.

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I really believe toddler food aversions are a strongly programmed, evolutionary thing. If toddlers were adventurous eaters when they wandered away from Mom, a lot would die from poisonous plants, etc. It's a developmental phase, and if you keep offering her things but not freaking out when she doesn't want them, it will pass. Give her a gummy vitamin, don't offer any junk, and she'll grow and develop just fine.

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