Perfume Allergies

Choice: 1) to be in a room filled with 14 year old girls. 2) to be in a room filled with pit-bulls.

Hmmm?

I'll get back to you.

Margaret :)

I would go to the school and talk with the teacher and see if she could explain to the other girls that this is not a joking matter. That is the same as someont who is allergic to cats or dogs or flowers. And that they need to grow up and show a LITTLE RESPECT FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

Do not feel threatened or meek about it, you are doing the right thing. Your daughter can not help it any more than I can. Perfume makes me so sick with the exception of a very few brands that I can actually wear.

Stand up for your daughter. Go to the administration and the nurse. Write them a formal letter asking for their support in the matter (seeing to it that each of her teachers is notified and asked to refrain from wearing perfumes) and attach a doctor's note if you can get one. If you address the situation in a professional way with documents and requests, you will get far.

Is your daughter on any kind of allergy medications? That might help her in general...when I was young, I didn't realize I had allergies to other things, especially plants and trees.

As for the girls, teens have a tendency to disbelieve anyone who says or does something different than that which falls into their own realm of understanding. "Allergies" is such a vague term and had always sounded to me like a weird excuse for not liking something...until I got them.

If your daughter is (or could be) a drama queen, she could fake an "asthma attack" and have an inhaler ready. She could enlist the help of a friend and put on a "show" where the other girl has to grab her inhaler and yell that she is having an asthma attack after the perfume spraying. That might frighten some sense into those dumb girls!

Otherwise, your daughter is at the mercy of the administration handling the situation, you just need to make sure you follow up with them.

I also have lived with perfume allergies and understand how this can be very frustrating and I have become very critical of perfume wearers. I feel I am as sensitive to thier need to wear it as they are to my need to not smell it. I have avoided people and situations in which I know this would be a problem. I think those not afflicted just do not understand the piercing headache that we must endure that is not relieved by common headache medications. I think the girls here are taking advantage of a situation and should be considered bully's and the school should treat the incident as such. The school should already have some sort of consequences established for harrasing and bullying behavior.
I am not against wearing perfume and understand a light scent that they can smell and enjoy is fine. But just because they like the smell does not necessartily mean everyone does so please do not force it on me. The real offenders are those that have it on strong or repeat applications with out laundering their clothes. It seems some people use perfume instead of a bath or shower. Personally, the smell of soap/ laundry detegent that are now available in all types of light scents is not a bad smell at all.

Hi, Johnnie,

My daughter Allison was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 4 (she's 14 now) my husband has allergies, and my mom is so perfume sensitive that she has to use men's hairspray and deodorant as the women's just has something in it that bothers her! So after a lot of studying, I came across a medical fact that the allergic reactions themselves can only manifest when the body can't "take" anymore "input" and starts to react, by giving you a headache, or, as in my daughter's case, by starting to swell her breathing passages to keep the offending smell/smoke/substance at bay. What we discovered is that if you keep down the things they are exposed to on a daily basis, they can handle outside factors much better when they are exposed. So, taking all that into consideration, we did a lot of research and found Shaklee - an amazing line of scent and phosphate free household cleaning products, laundry products, allergy-free mineral based makeup and skincare, not to mention all the nutritionally supportive factors such as omega 3's, probiotics, and soy and whey protien shakes that really, really biuld up the body's defenses and make for much healthier and happier children - and husband! We now have a website :www.shaklee.net/living4u, where you can go and get all these things in your home easily - and the cleaners are all concentrated - so you save money as well!
The difference? Well, Allison can now run 2 laps in athletics at school and is no longer on ANY MEDICATION, whereas before, she couldn't run AT ALL, was considering hving to drop athletics altogether, and had been told she needed higher and higher doses of medication to have any kind of a normal life. We are so grateful to have found these products and are not ashamed to say, yes we sell them! I love them as well, and don't have any chmical sensitivity myself; i just love knowing that I am helping the environment in a big way by using Shaklee! ( The White House just switched to Shaklee too!)

Godd luck!

J. K.
Mom of 4 + loving Husband

Most peope don't understand and just assume you don't like the scent, that it is a matter of preference. I feel your daughter's pain. When I am around certain perfumes or scents (including laundry detergents), I can get a severe headache that stops all activity (including talking - moving the jaw hurts) for 3 days straight. Nothing over the counter works, and prescriptions that work have dangerous side affects if overused. A few perfumes will have my throat close up and the irritating, horrible-to-be-around coughing begins and I have to immediately leave the area or lose oxygen. These are the choices. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do other than make the teachers aware at school and allow your daughter to leave the area and work somewhere else if necessary. (They won't make a new rule in the dresscode regarding perfume unless it is a widespread or dangerous problem.) The bullying should be addressed though. That shouldn't happen, no matter what the excuse is.

--a high school teacher turned SAHM

I would get a DR. note, then the school will have no choice but to act on the matter. It would be like a bunch of rude girls throwing peanuts at someone with peanut allergies, the school would not allow it, and as far as the teacher goes, you can try to talk with her and if you don't get anywhere go to the admin. Most places of employment have dress codes and in those dress codes most often state that they can not be offensive in appearance, that includes smell.
Good luck, and I feel for your daughter, I hope she gets some help. School should be a place for learning not fearing. Don't give up. Let us know how it goes.

Education is the best tool but be careful not to go in like a roaring Lion. See if you can look up information on the internet regarding perfume allergies and get a letter from the doctor for the school. I am a speech therapist in the schools and I was taught to be aware of how odors and colors can effect the behaviors of children. It was new to me and not all of us are taught this, or hold on to the information. It does make a difference. The schools already have policies about using air fresheners, scented candles, incense, and other fragrances because of allergy sensitivity. People without sensitivites are frequntly unaware of what other people experience. Maybe her teacher has a decreased sense of smell or is trying to cover up a more embarrassing body-odor problem. As far as the students, I would address it with the coach via information share and let him know what the other girls did. What they did constitutes bullying which is a punishable offense. Maybe the school counselor can conduct a group lesson on forms of bullying, and how what seems like harmless teasing can cause serious medical problems for some people, and then become a criminal offense for the child.

Good luck and God bless.
K.

I dont know if you already have, but as a teacher I would HOPE that my parents would tell me if I was doing anything to make learning more difficult for their child. The teacher not wearing perfume though is only a small part of your issue. My mom works with a lady that has this same problem. My heart goes out to you as its so difficult to control it and sometimes you're STUCK around them (classroom, car, etc). For the girls...they are being rude 14 yr old girls. Dont get me wrong, I dont condone it and think that there should definitely be a talk about respecting others. Teenagers can be so rude at times :( I guess I dont have any advice for you, except that when I was teaching I would want to know about this. I would most definitely discontinue using my perfume and would START by having a "respect" lesson and continue from there......this can be initially done without letting anyone know the reasoning (I'm sure there are other rude things happening with the kids) so your child wouldnt be the "target" of the talk. good luck.

I can symapthize. I get headaches from perfumes as well and we have a lady at church who has to wear an allergy mask because of people's perfumes.
Have you thought about getting a note from your daughter's doctor and giving it to the school and having them inforce it. After all, it is a medical condition. I think if you had a doctor's note they would have to do something. Good luck.

Perfume allergies are not that uncommon, some healthpractitioners consider them to fall in the category of chemical sensitivities. CS is a common component of the group of ailments that people with chronic pain and fatigue, and fibromyalgia suffer from (my teenage son has this). Exposure to strong smells causes headache, nausea, dizziness and fatigue. It is especially an issue with petroleum based chemicals such as car/bus exhaust, perfume, spray deodorant, bug spray and household cleaning sprays, also chlorine based cleaners (clorox, tiles), also plastic and vinyl related smells, everything from new car smell to toy packaging, and formaldehyde, which becomes an issue in high school biology. This is not a trivial matter as it can be cause an insidious and cumulative drain in your child's energy level and resistance to infection (it is like a constant challenge to the body's immune system.) I suggest you find a good doctor who specializes in chronic fatigue who will give you a letter, get on the internet and do some research on it, and get ready to go head to head with the school administration. They are obliged to address it and try to find a remedy if it involves the health of your child and compromises her capacity to learn.
ALSO, I have to say that I think your daughter has the right to stand up for herself and you really should support her by talking to the school about this right away. (Even before you have a doctor's note.) The behavior of the other girls falls into the category of peer ABUSE, that is BULLYING and TEASING! The school really must address it, or you have the right to pull your daughter from the PE class and request a substitute situation (like private PE.) I guess I would give the math teacher the benefit of the doubt and meet with her in person to politely explain the situation to her and request that she refrain from using perfume at school. If she is a good teacher she will be happy to make an accomodation that will improve your child's learning capacity. If not, you will have to talk to the counselor, principal, etc, and keep after it until you get results. I would encourage you to view this as a serious matter, and if you don't start dealing with it now it will only get worse for your daughter.
I wish you the best on this.
(I am 50, married, have one teenage son with numerous health issues, love gardening.)

You need to set up a meeting to discuss this with the school administration, counselors and her teachers. For the meeting, you need to have a note from a physician stating the allergy because if not, its just a "mom's word". The school should have avenues to work this through. For instance, Fellow students/parents can be notified by the school that classrooms, etc. are becoming a perfume free zone, etc.
(Kind of like dealing with students who have nut allergies.)
Blessings,
D.

while your daughters allergy's are no laughing matter, I did find your post a little funny. I mean that you happened to be standing behind your daughters teacher and now could totally relate to her complaint! You know I am willing to bet that this teacher was an older woman. For some reason older women tend to have been wearing the same scent for like their whole lives! and they can't smell it anymore! Today there are so many choices that today's modern woman generally refuses to get stuck on one scent, so she alternates, and therefore she can smell the scent each day because it's different from her scent yesterday. I'll bet this teacher has no idea that she is offensively strong! I feel for your daughter, there is nothing worse than having to smell something that bothers you. With such strong allergies you might get her adrenals checked. Adrenals have effects on allergies especially extreme allergies. There is a muscle response test and a blood pressure test. let me know if you want more info on that. Best of luck with the girls, I think that you will have more problems with them than you will with this teacher.

I teach on a elementary campus, so my response may not be as valid for the upper grades. Our campus policy does not allow perfumes, sprays, candles etc. to be used or sprayed because of the possibility of reactions. I'd talk with the principal about it. They may have a policy in place that is not really being enforced in all classrooms.

All schools have rules on hazing and bullies. The schools also have an person on staff for intervention. That person would get the girls all together and they talk it out, and that usually works. I know a girl that was threaten with her life at school and did not want to go to school anymore. I told the parent that she need to call the principle of the school and tell them they need to the staff for intervention and settle this. They did, both sides were there and no more trouble. The only reason I know this is because I am an advocate for children and represent them to get the school to do what the law says they should. Some schools may have another word for this intervention, but they have them.

This allergy is no different than peanut allergy and now the airlines do not serve peanuts on the plans anymore and I know of several business that do not allow perfume at there place of employment. I to have an allergy to perfumes and it can stop your breathing, but headaches are my problem with them.

Good luck.

I think the simplest thing to do would be to write a note to the P.E. teacher, math teacher, etc., explaining the problem and with a respectful request for their assistance in the matter. Or you could go to the school district's website and email the teachers involved. Keep a copy of the letter/email for documentation, in case you want to pursue it further. I would hope most teachers care about our youth and chose their profession for that reason.
Linda C

Let the school know. I have seen signs in school about peanut allergies. I too am allergic to perfumes. For many years I could not go to department stores because of the perfume counters. They used to practically spray you as you walked by, that has changed. I found that limiting my chemical exposure has aleviated many of my problems, no longer use any meds. No aerosol sprays, just pump sprays. Non scented laundry detergent, I even eliminated using bleach products, etc. Basically going "green". It is worth a try. Mybiopro.com/claudia13

Hi Jonnie
I am feeling for you about the perfume thing I don't have allergies to anything thank goodness.Growing up in grade school we had a principal that doused herself with perfume we could smell her coming down the hall it was horrible.The only suggestion that I have for your daughter(teenagers/children can be cruel)it seems is too late not to say anything.Meaning:If these girls think they are irritating someone they will continue to do so as your daughter I wouldnt say anything.Adults would be the only ones(hopefully)that might pay attention to such a request.I myself am a smoker and always ask people if they mind and or will never smoke near children because I am a considerate person.Sometimes adults don't realize that they are wearing too much perfume.As for teenagers most are insecure and wont take even a friendly suggestion as such.Therefore I would suggest that your daughter still speak her mind in a friendly way and be aware that this may be a not so fun way to find out who her friends are.One other suggestion I just thought of I myself will not put perfume on if I know I am going to work outside being that BUGS/BEES are attracted to the smell.
Best Wishes
To all

I'm an 8th grade teacher and the girls you mentioned should not be allowed to get away with that behavior. Please contact the assistant principal and let him/her know about the harrassment. Also, contact the school nurse about her allergies and ask her for suggestions and ideas. My son has asthma and when he had a class with a teacher who was a heavy smoker I ended up threatening to call my lawyer to get my son into a different class-even after a note from my doctor. So do pursue with the school staff!

I feel your pain. I have ajor allergies to perfume as well. friends of mine have stopped wearing certain perfumes if they know i am going to be around as they know it is going to make me ill. It is hard to tell someone "Sorry i cant stand near you cos you perfume is giving me a headache". Some dont know whether to be insulted or amused, others just ignore you. I used to work in a restaurant as a waitress, i had a table come in and one of the men was wearing a ton of aftershave that as i got nearer to them started making my head pound. I had to walk over to them and tell them that someone else was going to serve them hopeing they wouldnt ask why as i mght blurt it out. My boss was very understanding luckily. I dont wea perfume either but i went intbody shop and they have a range of perfume oils whih i was old should be ok. I can wear them but not on my wrists or neck. If i wear perfume it has to be on my lower and below my waist.
For your daughter i would recommend trying to avoid goinginto the changing rooms with tese girls (we all know what kids are like) she couldeven ask her teacer if she can go a little earlier so that she doesnt run it the problems. Or like ou said ask th school to ban stron perumes altogether. After all if someone has a ery bad peanut allergie they will ban peanuts.

Hello,
I don't know why anyone would be offended at this! I would talk to the school administration as well as to her math teacher and gym coach. Tell them to think of it as a peanut allergy- It would be cruel to make a child with a peanut allergy eat PB but that's exactly what they are doing to her.

My children have a sensitivity to gluten, which is in wheat, oats, malt, modified food starch, and many other things. It's been a really difficult thing going totally gluten free, but neccesary. My sister doesn't understand, though, and is mad at me for being so strict about the diet. My nieces' birthday party is Saturday and they are having all things gluten- she made no attempt at altering things for us. Corn dogs, cake, cookies, icecream, and chips. There are GF varieties but she said I need to just get over it and let the kids eat like kids....no comprehension what so ever.

Good luck and God bless,
S., mom to four girls (so far!) ages 12 months to 5 years.

This is a touchy issue. 14yr old girls bully in SO many ways and most within the law. I would defiantly talk with the teacher and maybe your dd could get a note from the DR to let her dress elsewhere. The girls should be nice, but they should be able to wear perfume within reason of course. The sensitive part is that if a big deal is made of this, there are many many worse things that they could switch to. I'm so sorry that you and your daughter are going though this. If they are spraying her and there is a real reaction, I would speak with the gym coach about it. This is a form of bullying.

I understand exactly where you are coming from cause I have perfume allergies too and my mom thought I was lying when I told her about it.Just imagine being preggo and someone sprays cologne while you are in the room.I got a bad headache and then I just started feeling dizzy,so I called my mom and told her about it and she came to get me but we went to her church not home.I felt soo bad and she didn't understand it at and that really hurted my feelings back then.Girl,I never knew what the problem was all I knew I was always having headaches when someone sprays it.What I would do if it was me is have a meeting with the school,the girls,and the parents and let them know what the problem is and go from there.As for the teacher that wears all the perfume I would tell my daughter to tell her she use to much and see if she can cut back some cause it was making her sick.Good luck

You definately need to contact hte school! Just as when a child has a food allergy accomodations HAVE to be made. Your math teacher WILL HAVE TO lesson or eliminate her perfume and those other students will need to not spray it around your daughter.

Period. Allergies can accumulate and each reaction increases the risk of more and more severe reactions next time. They are putting your daughter at serious risk.

A. <><

I have the same problem. Before I was laid off my job, the boss's wife worked in the same room with me, right next to me in fact. It seemed as though she literally drowned herself in body spray/perfume. The first time she did it, I just politely asked her if I could talk to her & politely told her I was severely allergic to her perfume & was there any way possible she could avoid either wearing it all together, choose another scent or just not use so much & she got SO huffy with me, how dare I ask HER anything & she'd do what she darn well pleases! I calmly explained to her I knew it was her right to wear it but out of respect to those of us who can't tolerate it, would she please at least change the scent to a more tolerable one & so from that point on, she made it a point to go across the yard (their home was on the property itself) & spray EVEN MORE on during lunch & come back & it'd be SO strong, I literally would get severe nausea & migraine type headaches. I talked to my supervisor about it & she didn't seem to care or do anything about it. I finally just had to borrow a small fan to put on my desk & blew it in her direction. She griped at me about it & I told her, as long as she disrespects me w/that gosh-awful perfume, the fan stays pointed in her direction. We FINALLY moved into a different building which separated us & that was my only relief til the lay-off. My point is, no matter what she says to those girls, they'll do it even MORE so just to upset her & mess with her at her expense. My suggestion is to talk to the teachers, if that doesn't help, talk to the principal & even the school board if it goes that far. You may just want to go over the teacher's heads altogether & go straight to the principal & tell him straight out, it not only affects YOUR child but there may be OTHER students who have the same allergies but just don't say anything or feel they can't say anything about it. I was bullied all THRU school from kindergarten on up & nothing was done about it but this day & time, even this may be taken more seriously now. If they have a severe crack down on having midol at school (re: the student who was suspended for 'dealing' drugs for giving another student Midol for her cramps) then SURELY they take this into consideration. You may hafta threaten a law suit if it has to go that far to get something done! Good luck!

This is not offensive at all. I believe you need to go to that school and talk to the principal or the counselor for advice and what you belive needs to happen. You need to be very involved and proactive in any case that invovles your child. I believe this and I am a mother that does this. I am the one to protect my boys and I believe this with my heart. So get to that school and make your case known. Your doing great.