Parenting Styles?

Hi C.,

I read baby wise when my children were born. I pretty much adhered to the feeding and sleep schedule and my children were sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. It's mainly common sense. Good luck to you.

well, here's the thing. your kid is likely already programmed to be who they are. my parenting style was all set (ok, i changed along the line, but overall, i knew what i wanted). however, he is nothing like what i worked for!!! he's awesome mind you, but not at all who i planned for!! : )
of course, how you parent will have some effect (and i agree to compromise in the middle with your husband), but he will be who he is. remember too (this was my problem) that your baby boy will grow up to be a man and your husband knows more about this than you. boys are oh so very different from girls. truly, let him take the lead sometimes. it's hard, i know, but, in the end, it will be for the best!

It's a little hard to answer, cuz I'm not sure what you mean by "hover". If your room is baby-proofed, than I say don't hover. If it's not, it certainly should be by now. I think you need to find a balance between keeping baby "safe" vs. being too concerned baby might get hurt. He will fall down and scrape his knees and get little rasberries on them. He will conk his head now and then and still be fine, as long as he's not climbing on tables and falling off of them! Make sure your home is baby-proofed and keep him in the room with you and let him do his thing wile you do yours. I personally don't believe in letting a crawler have the run of the house--that might be asking for trouble. Keep him in the same room with you and let him safely explore. Keep one eye on him and only intervene if he's going to get into something he shouldn't or if you know he's going to get really hurt. They actually can learn from little bumps and bangs, honest! Hovering can create a fearful child and I'm sure you don't want that. I don't know if this is what you're looking for. Hope it helps.

absolutely your parenting style affects how your child will be as they grow up. It's our job as parents to train our children and teach them what is right and acceptable. A hovering parent, however, can also make your child very anxious and untrusting and probably a little neurotic. I think giving your child clear parameters of what is acceptable behavior and telling them so, and what is inappropriate or acceptable, they have clear boundaries and expectations. I have 3 pretty well behaved children and they can each tell you what will happen if they misbehave and even what the consequence will most likely be. I do let them earn things back if it seems appropriate. They will thank you later on and so will their wives/husbands if you lay a good foundation for them to grow from. Mom and dad have to be on the same page for starters or at least find some middle ground. Hope that helps!

Check this out - Diana Baumrind & Parenting Styles
http://tinyurl.com/2988tk
I tend to be "permissive" and I have tried very hard to change that. I've read "Democratic" is the best (Aletha Solter.) Check out her website, books and articles.
http://www.awareparenting.com/supernanny.htm
Author and lecturer Barbara Coloroso wrote the book Kids Are Worth it: Give Your kids the gift of inner discipline. She discusses those parenting styles also. That might be your best starting point on an important topic. I really wish I was more aware of my parenting style ahead of time.
http://kidsareworthit.com/

How wonderful that you two are talking about his now! You always hear the aweful news when parents can't talk or agree on their children, because it is the children who end up with the short end of the stick. My boys are now men - 24 and 26 years old. They are both married to wonderful women and function out in the world great. Neither drink nor did I have trouble with drugs. Now they weren't perfect - I did a lot of hospital visits from skate boarding and we had our major fights but I was blessed. Blessed being the key word. I was also a single parent since they were 9 and 11. I strongly say I was a Mom with rules period!! I loved them and they knew it but they was punished when needed to be and praised when stuff occured. I used time outs and a swat to the behind when needed. They spoke to me with respect or saw the walls of their room. They had chores and lived by the rules of my home. We were also highly involved with our church. When their Dad left - the youth pastors really picked up the guy stuff - but I can still wrestle with the best of them :). Their friends were always - and I mean always - allowed over but they had to follow my same rules. Still to this day when some of them are in town they come say Hi. A couple of them still beep their horns - yelling Mom when they drive by my house. Again I told all of them I am praying for you - and they knew where I stood. I guess to may this very long story short - loveing, consistent, discipline. Set your rules when they are young and they will follow them when their old. Plus prayer prayer prayer!!! Hope this helps - D.

I agree with mom with rules! I have two stepdaughters who have very little supervision at home (they live with their mother) and more and more the ugly results of that are coming around. I would say that a combination is best. Always show him you respect him as an individual and give him a little space, but do not let him to whatever he wants.

R.
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