Parenting Advice. - Detroit,MI

My mom's advice to me was to always remember that my job as a mom is to raise confident, productive individuals who can co-exist with others in society. I think that's pretty good advice!

To love them unconditionally ~ no strings attached. They need to know that no matter how naughty, how messy, how frustrating, how loud, how disrespectful, how much they take you for granted, etc. that Mom will still and always will love them.

To love them...

Simply love them.

Turn off the TV and spend time with your child. Read, play, laugh, go for walks. We're given such a short time with our children.

I agree with that, we know our kids better than anybody else does.

I think my best advice would be to always try your best. It sounds corny, but if you try your best, then no matter what happens, you know you did everything you could, and you won't feel as guilty when something bad happens. Do all you can do and let what happens happen.

We actually don't know everything! - I know, shocking! haha But I think we need to be willing to grow and learn and change as needed.

That, and to enjoy every NANO- second with your children. They really do grow up in the blink of an eye.

To love your child is to be a parent to him/her, NOT to be a friend.
My own mom was never really a parent, she didn't like to tell us no (because we would get upset, cry, etc. and she couldn't "handle" it.) Our household was utter chaos.
Lots of other great advice so far (and more to come, I'm sure!) but that's my two cents :)

I'm sure I'll see a bazillion answers to your question that I will agree with wholeheartedly. And for me, my advice is to keep reading, keep learning. There has been a tremendous amount of research done on child development in the last 20 years, but so many parents are still using the parenting patterns they learned from their own childhoods.

Yeah, that worked, and we 'turned out okay.'

But I've watched a generation of kids who have been parented by adults who have continued their own educations into this great adventure, and honestly, those kids turn out even better – with fewer ingrained hangups, habits, dysfunctions and misunderstandings that keep their lives a little narrower than they could be. And both parents and children are happier, calmer, and less stressed.

Not one single parent is ever likely to raise a child perfectly, with no mistakes. And I think we all probably do the best we can. Nevertheless, I genuinely wish I had all this new information when I was raising my child in the 70's. But I did learn what was available at the time, and it was a night-and-day improvement over repeating my mother's patterns. My daughter, in turn, is improving over my parenting. All I can say is YAY! My grandson is growing into an amazing person.

Oh, so many good answers! I only looked at a couple, but thought I should answer before I read anymore. My first and main parenting advice is to raise your children in the Lord. Follow Biblical precepts. God created children, so He has the best wisdom on how to raise them. My second tidbit is to be consistent. And my third... LOL

Oooh, I'm excited to read all of the responses to this! I like your trust your gut advice...I think that's some of the best. Too often people (especially mommies) go against their gut and regret it, I think. I also like the advice (I think it is Dr. Sears) that is "Don't continue with a failing experiment." Meaning, if you read something or hear something, and decide it is the thing to do, don't continue doing it if it's not working just because "research" or somebody says you should. Don't be afraid to learn, and change things up to do what's best for you kids. Finally, the advice I give myself alot is to look ahead and ask myself, "Will this matter or seem important to me when my child is 18, and walking across their high school graduation stage?" If the answer is no, then I try not to sweat it!

I have 2: 1. Nothing lasts forever, such as potty training, feeding, thumb sucking etc... so when you think that it will never end....it will and 2. Nobody LOVES your child like you... meaning no one loves to see those 100s of picks, movies, stories like you.....my ex father in law told me this years ago and it really hurt my feelings - but it was true.

Pray for your children everyday! Pray for good health, protection, guidance, that they'll make wise decisions, that you'll have wisdom as a parent, and that you'll show your child love in the way he/she needs, etc. If you've ever read The 5 Love Languages, I believe that applies to children as well and while one may feel loved because you cuddle with them and hug them (physical touch), another one may feel loved because you praise them and give lots of compliments (words of affirmation).

Let them learn independence and don't do everything for them. And be a parent, not their friend. You want them to respect you. And give them structure.

Edited: Also, be involved! Go to school functions, extra curricular events, speak with their friends' parents before sleep overs or whatever it may be, etc.

Go with the flow of your baby (It's probably close to what you said).

When I first started mothering I was so stressed out trying to do what everyone told me was best for my baby in spite of how much it all conflicted (co-sleep vs. not co-sleeping, breast vs. bottle, CIO vs. something different, everyone had an opinion on what to do those first two months to make him happy. One day I let it all go and just listened to my baby and observed him and his actions that made him happy. He went from being the fussiest baby to being described as "chill" and "mellow" and has become a rockstar sleeper. It's all because I mellowed and stopped stressing. I just went with my gut at the time till he was happy. So yea, I would tell parents to just relax no matter how stressed your baby seems. They are always more stressed empathizing with your stress.

my biggest thing is probably fever or general health. I am really big on nipping a fever in the bud!! i get so nervous when i read about people saying their child has had a fever for a week or a few days and it isnt going away. If one of my little guys gets a fever and it doesnt go away in one day i take him to the doc, or ER if it is really high. if i cant get rid of it with tylenol then in to the doc he goes. i just really think it is better to be safe than sorry esp in regards to our kiddos. i had a doctor tell me once she would rather me come in 100 times with nothing wrong then to NOT come in once and that be the time something is wrong. always trust your momma gut!!

To always keep learning. My dad gave me advice and told me that the way he parented us wasn't perfect and that he wishes he could've done some of the things differently but he was too stubborn to learn new ways of doing things. We turned out great, but did have to overcome emotional obstacles. I would say open your mind to new things, even things that feel unnatural (like some of the accepting feelings examples in how to talk so kids will listen) because it may teach a valuable lesson in communicating with children.

Go with your gut and this too shall pass!

The things I have found to be very useful that were passed to me are:

1) If what you are doing doesn't work, try something different. Seems like common sense, but I have referred to this tid bit from time to time. I think we get into routines and our kids change and we forget to change with them.

2) Tell your children that you love them AND you like them every day.

3) When you have a choice to spend time with your child or do something else, pick spending time with your child, everything else will and can wait.

I have/had to raise two boys (now young men) on my own. I have people ask me all the time "how did you do it on your own?" He is my opinion:

Tie a rope around them and hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Also I have a lawn sign in front of my house that says "Beware of Children"

PS they are the most wonderful, caring men you will ever see...