Parent Orientation for Kindergarten

I have always been the one parent to go to the events. Rarely did I see both parents at anything unless it was an event to watch, like school plays and stuff.

I think it's a fine plan. You husband will take great notes, bring home all the handouts, and tell you what he heard.

Why don't you go and hubby stay home? It is normal for only one to go, no worries. No one will miss much.

Sure, we've done this a lot. When you have 2 kids, sometimes 'divide and conquer' is the best strategy for getting through the day. As long as someone brings the info home, it's fine.

My only suggestion is to have whichever parent who is going to be the most responsible for the child's school communication to be the one to go. In our home, I'm the stay at home parent, the one who sees the teachers in the morning and afternoons, so I am the one who goes to these things.

If you are feeling bad about not going, just ask your husband. Let him know it's important to you to go. We got a babysitter for the first 'parent orientation', then decided that I would go on my own in the future.

Absolutely. And there was one time where I was the only one of four that could attend my SD's Back To School Night. So I went, took notes, and emailed them to her bioparents. You do what you do and you trust that he's a great note taker. :)

Why don't you go and let hubby take care of your daughter? When is her bedtime?

Will you be volunteering at the school? Joining PTA?

Many times around here just one parent (usually mom) goes to these meetings.

My husband went with me if he was in town but he travels a lot so I went to some of these meetings myself and took my daughter with me. It is not like it is a crazy late night because the teachers want to go home too!

Yeah, we have three kids and we each have a job so my husband and I have pretty much never *both* shown up to ANY meeting.

Sounds like you might rather go than your husband. Why not have him stay home and get your daughter into bed and you can get be the one at the meeting? I hadn't been able to go to our daughters "Back to School Night" the last couple years b/c I work in a school and it was always the same night as the school I work in. This year it wasn't so I told my husband it was finally my turn to attend and he stayed home with the 3 kids.

Totally normal for just 1 parent to go to these things.

So you go and your husband stays home. Problem solved.

The parent who will be the most hand's on with school related stuff should be the parent attending...no matter who is the best note taker. But that is great that he is a good at it!

It doesn't matter that one parent attends and the other does not. Teachers understand that that it is a parent only event so kids are at home and need to get to bed. Teachers want at least one parent per child attending.

We have done a divide and conquer on many occasions. It is how families function.

If you feel so guilty, then why are you not the one going?? Does your husband need to let go of the note taking skills and brush up on the nighttime routine skills?? Maybe it would be best to let him stay home with your daughter and have some daddy/daughter bonding time. Let him read her a book and tuck her into bed.

I always went and let my husband stay home with the kids, because I was the one most in contact with the school, teacher and other parents.
Why can't you go and let your husband stay home? It sounds like you want to.

Why don't you have your husband stay home and put your daughter to bed while you go to the orientation? If you're the one who is going to be interacting most with the teacher, school, other parents, etc. it would make sense for you to take the lead and go. I work evenings teaching test prep and am often too tightly booked to make every back to school night for our kids (there are 4 of them) so my husband goes to some instead of me and while it's great that one of us is there, he usually manages to do something dopey like put his e-mail address on the contact list that the teacher sends around and then it takes me months to realize that I haven't gotten birthday party e-vites and other things because they're all being sent to him, or forgets to give me a packet, etc.

On the other hand, if you're the one who will normally be handling school stuff and this is one of the few chances your husband has to be involved, having him go and meet the teacher and see your daughter's classroom would be a great experience for him so I can see how it would make sense for him to go from that perspective. Just tell him to not add his e-mail to the parent contact list unless he wants to answer party invites and requests for playdates ;-)

First child attending this school? First child in kindergarten?
Get a sitter. This way you and your husband will be on the same page. If one of you does not hear something, the other will.

Never be afraid to at least ask family to watch or help out with your child. If they cannot, not a big deal. At least you gave then the opportunity.

We went our orientation class last week. Only about half of the parents showed up. My husband didn't go. One family brought everyone in the family, someone else only the dad came. You just need to do what works for your family.

Relax Mama. One parent is as good as another, much better than no parent attending. If you're really set on letting this bother you, switch with your husband and you go while he handles things at home.

I have never been able to take my kids to their first day of school, because I'm already an hour+ into my work day by then. In fact, I wasn't able to do morning drop-offs at all last year or the year before. I only rarely did preschool pick-up (maybe 5 times all year) with my daughter.

I go to most school meetings solo, since my husband is with the kids if he's home or miss them if he's traveling and I can't get a sitter. Some of those meeting nights, school-night bedtime routine goes out the window if the kids are with grandparents or a sitter, so no baths are had and everyone survives.

That said, I was still able to be active in the preschool, active enough in the elementary school last year when my oldest was in pre-k that I'm on the PTO Exec Board this year. My husband is active in the elementary school's Dad's Club. We juggle, balance, and make the time work.

I am going to ask anyway. What time does your child go to bed? In kindergarten she's quite old enough to stay up until 8 or even 9. They are really having it that late in the evening? Or do you put your child to be at an extremely early time?

One parent is sufficient. It sounds like you'd like to go, so go & let hubby stay home:)

Of course. My husband's work schedule is such that, for MUCH of the school activities and open houses, awards, etc.. he has been unable to attend and I have gone by myself.

I think it is fine for you to stay home and let husband go. But, I wonder how you reached that decision rather than husband staying home and you going. ? Any particular reason you went with that arrangement?
Which of you will have the most contact with the teacher overall? It may be best for the one with the least expected contact to go to this event, and then (assuming that would be your husband?) you could spend a moment or two introducing yourself to her before school or after one day soon... and volunteer with anything she might need in the classroom. Or introduce yourself and ask who the classroom mom is.
Be careful about doing this so you aren't distracting her from before school or after school duties, however. A quick hello and introduction shouldn't be a big problem. Standing rehashing everything your husband "gets" at open house/parent orientation would be.

Happy first year!

We had First Grade Orientation last night. I went and my hubby stayed home with the kids because we were unable to get a sitter. It will be fine.

*** our school also had on site care for the kids. if you really had to bring them. ** Ie Single parents etc.

I have been to everything of my kids except two things I was unaware of, and not happy I missed. Why do I go to all of them? First because I want to, but second and most important, I have bosses who understand I am a parent first and my husband didn't for a lot of years. Now that he does, he joins me on the events too.

Don't feel bad. We can only do so much.

But, can your daughter go to bed a little later for this one night so she can meet her teacher and see the room? She'll feel better, and so will you.

You'll have to let go of that guilt, because school things will very often conflict with the family schedule. It is always okay for just one parent to attend.

In my house, I'm the default parent who goes to school things because I'm also the person best able to handle that aspect of our children's lives in general. My husband only very rarely - a handful of times in the past 10 years - been able to attend a conference, meeting, etc.

In your scenario, I'd go to the Orientation and leave my husband home to get the kids to bed.

I also know fathers who are the primary school parent. Whatever works best for your family is what you should do.

Holy cow momma, yeah you're making more out of this! Neither of you NEEDS to go and one is fine. BUT I will say, my daughter's kindergarten orientation was SO GREAT for her!!! It was simple and very brief. But because she got to see her room and her teacher, she had NO ANXIETY AT ALL her first day of school. She got on her bus all excited knowing exactly where to go and what was waiting for her. Is this one at your school JUST for parents? That's weird, it's kindergarten. They're going to teach the alphabet and numbers and play games and sing songs and do a little writing by the end of the year. I'd personally skip it and go in for a personal conference later if your daughter can't go.

Personally, I would want to go. I need the information. My husband has always been content with knowing the gist of what 's going on. I know I can't count on him to tell me things like, lunch is at 11:00, music is on Mondays, library is on Tuesdays, P.E. is in the afternoon, etc. I have learned that if I want to know what my husband would consider the "mundane details," I have to go myself.

When our oldest started kindergarten I had to work and my husband went. I felt completely out of the loop that year. Our oldest is now in 2nd grade, so I've picked up on many things along the way, but this was our first time at the school. Our youngest is in kindergarten now, and I went to orientation. You know, funny thing, I didn't learn much at all. Guess I did pick it up along the way. Still, I have that piece of mind.

If you trust your husband to give you the information, great! I just know that I need to get the info myself, because my husband is a wonderful man, but he stinks at getting the information I need.

I recently went to our first grade parent's night. Out of sixty-two kids, there were maybe 6 couples at the meeting, everyone else was just mom or just dad. Totally normal to divide and conquer!

i totally don't get this.
at least one parent should go, yes. and if your husband is a 'great note taker' well, that's something.
but i can't for the life of me figure out why YOU don't go if this is such a big deal for you (and yes, with this being your first kindergartner's orientation night it SHOULD be a big deal.) so your husband puts your kid to bed and you go. if you're going to be the parent principally dealing with school issues, it should be you who goes.
surely you don't have one of those kids who makes rules about who puts her to bed, do you?
khairete
S.

ya all the time. My husband rarely does school stuff that's my domain. If it's the festival or open house he goes that it. We often have to be in two places at once.
Don't feel guilty over this. Our teachers email the power point presentation.

Why can't your husband put your daughter to bed? That's what I'd do. You couldn't keep me away from Kinder orientation night. My husband might take notes well, but that wouldn't be enough for me.

If he has never put your daughter to bed, that's a REAL shame and you should make him.

Perfectly fine. I am going to curriculum night Thursday while DH takes DS for his eye appointment. It is difficult for both of us (really it is difficult for even one of us) to take time off during work hours to attend school functions. We try for one of us to make these. Getting a sitter for evening functions - generally not going to happen.

ETA: I see no reason that you should go rather than your husband. If this is the way you decided, go with it.