Wow, this will be long. I hope you will bare with me..
Here are some solutions that helped us have a very active PTA at all of the schools our daughter attended. At the elementary level more that 95% of the teachers and staff were members. about 90% were parents , guardians, and community members. In middle school it dropped a whole lot.. Parents seem to disappear. But in High school it jumps back up because parents realize they only have 4 more years with their children.
And yes, dads are PTA parents. They ran our school Carnival and did an amazing job. The students love seeing the dads on and around the campus.
We had a Welcoming committee for new or interested parents.
They held gatherings at a neighborhood coffee shop. This is a place where kids are welcome the owner provided a few pastries at no or very low cost. This was advertised and announced in the neighborhood newsletters and also the city wide community events calendars. This committee was composed of NEW parents to the committee and some parents that had been at the school for many years. At the high school level it was just held at the school in the Library.
This committee also held tours of the school. They provided a packet with information about the school and also the PTA. They actually had folders in the front office at all times that were information packets the school had the left pocket for all of the district forms and school information and the right pocket was PTA information, school terminology etc.. . Each person was given a "buddy parent" so the new parents could call and ask questions at any time.
In the summer this group would meet at the school playground. This was an ever changing group, because soon parents realized they were the "Buddy parent", sharing information with other new parents.
All PTA meetings were scheduled out for the entire school year and published at the end of a school year for returning parents and again published when school started. The meetings were held once a month and alternated with "Night meetings" at 7:00 pm one month and "Brown Bag lunch meetings" at Noon, every other month. And yes, if we could find a teacher and volunteers (usually older past students) they offered child care to hold free babysitting (also a good way to find a babysitter for yourself).. Our goal was to start exactly on time and not have the meeting go over an hour. If we felt it was going to run long, we held the most "business" at the beginning of the meeting. If a controversial or more extensive subject was brought up, we considered holding another meeting at another time to really concentrate on this subject.. Many times the Principal would meet with the parents concerned. And yes they would make it either a private meeting or announce that this subject had come up and would hold an Open "Meeting with the Principal on the subject".
The minutes from each meeting were posted on the website so even the parents that did not attend could see what was discussed.
The volunteer sign up sheets were given out to every parent or guardian at the beginning of the school year. People could sign up for every activity that was planned for the year. Usually the Teachers and the PTA worked together to figure out the Homeroom parents. The TEACHER had the final say on who they wanted to work with.
All of the information sheets were then listed and divided up with the different chairmen. And then this person would send out their schedules of when they would need the volunteers help.
Teacher luncheons were held every report card week. At the elementary level parents provided the dishes for that months theme. In the high school, the PTA paid for the meal picked it up and served it to the teachers, but the parent brought in the homemade desserts..
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Here are things I learned as a parent about the PTA.
The "cliques" are usually parents that have been parents at that school for years.. And I mean 12, 15 years. Their families also are friends through their children's daycare years, through church, children's sports, some are neighbors and some are not. They have been through thick and thin together. Usually they are each others support because they do not have family close by. They are like family in each others lives.
There are people that seem to always be in charge of things.. The same people over and over.. This is because these are the people that can get things done. When they sign up, they actually show up (gasp) and do the work. They are not looking for the attention, they are the worker bees. The school and the PTA know these are people to ask for help with the big projects.
There are the whiners and gripers.. This is the group of parents that think for some reason the school is trying to make their lives harder. That the PTA is against them and talking about how they never help.. In reality, the PTA workers never talk about the parents that are not there.. (we usually do not even know them, we do not see them). this group is too busy working for all of the children in and teachers in the school.
There are parents in PTA that only want to volunteer directly with the school. In the classrooms, in the library, helping with technology.
Then there are parents that are there to help the school get the things that it needs to make the school even better. This can be a better playground, more books more technology, help in the library, the landscape look better, allow the teachers to plan field trips. Make the school more of a community center.. These are the people willing to participate in fund raisers.. They have a budget to meet, that is their goal.
And yes, the PTA understands that there are young parents with many children and busy schedules who just cannot help at this time. So there are small jobs and projects that are always available to be taken home. Once these parents children become older, they usually are more available. But as you can imagine there are not that many jobs, so the teachers tend to turn to the parents they have access to.
Just do what you can do. Be honest. Buddy up with another parent or parents to get a project done.. even co chairman. One parent is great on the computer and the other is good at organizing and attending meetings.
No excuses are necessary. No one is judging. But, if you have a new and wonderful idea..for the school or PTA that makes it YOUR baby to get it done when others agree on that project or suggestion.
When you have a concern, be prepared with a solution or at least know how you want it changed. Or what it is exactly that bothers you.
Be honest. No one can read your mind. Remember once school starts there is a plan and goal for the whole school.. so new projects will need to be worked on with a group of volunteers you put together or held till another time, unless you are willing to make it happen yourself.
No regrets.