Pain Management

I second the message about the depression medication.
Sometimes women, especially after giving birth, go into depression. Not even realizing it.
It doesn't have to be a forever answer, just until you get things back to normal on the home front.

If you want a natural remedy, there are options out there. You'll have to do your research, and preferably see a naturalist, or go into a health food store that has knowledgeable staff & good books. (Winding Way Farms in Castleton is a great place)
Maybe try Sam-E. (look into the breastfeeding deal at the same time though, but I think it's ok. my friend is taking it & still BF)

Good luck sweetie. Stay strong. Your sweet girls need ya. ;o)
*hugs*

I understand what you are going through. My family was involved in a near head on collision - on the way home from the youngest's baptism and on the older one's 3rd birthday no less. We were all okay - bumps, bruises and hubby had a shattered thumb that required surgery and he couldn't carry the baby or pick her up or change her diaper for a couple of months. I had bruised ribs and it hurt to pick her up to breastfeed, but once we got settled it was okay. I thankfully had parents and in-laws that were able to help out. After the baby was 6 months I knew I finally had to see the doctor - I was spending way too much time crying and angry at the kids and I'm just not an angry person. The doctor put me on Lexapro and it made a world of difference. Then I was able to look back and see how bad I felt and feeling better in general helped me get over the guilt and feeling like a failure since I couldn't just get over it and move on. People have asked me the question and yes - I do still have emotions on the medicine, I still get mad and sad and frustrated, but it doesn't overwhelm me and I CAN get over things instead of crying for an hour about it. I had a third daughter 2 years ago and was able to recognize the symptoms much earlier and went back on Lexapro.
Kudos to you for understanding that something is wrong and wanting to do something about it. Talk to your doctor and DON'T feel badly if you take and antidepressant. I had a good friend tell me that my kids aren't going to remember that I needed medication, but they'll remember that I was there for them and I'll be better able to empathize with them when they have children of their own. The doctor may also have a suggestion for a support group or counseling. I had some good friends through my church that helped me out as well. We had Bible Study once a week and it was good for me to get out of the house and they held the baby and played with the older one a little bit for me. Good Luck and feel better!

When I was truggling after my second child was born and was adamant that I wouldn't use any drugs- I had a revelation. If I had cancer or some other illness, I certainly wouldn't refuse to take the necessary medication. Well, depression is an illness- it is directly linked to brain chemistry and most often requires medication (although counseling is also VERY important!)
The best thing you can offer your children is a happy and healthy M.. I strongly urge you to talk to your doctor and a counselor about things. If the diagnosis is indeed depression, remember that illnesses are illnesses- and the prescription for this illness isn't an antibiotic - its an antidepressant.
Good luck to you!
BTW- I just had my 3rd baby 3 months ago and so far- no signs of PPD! There is hope!

First, good job on being aware of what's going on - how your feeling, noticing how your daughter's feeling, and taking steps to see the doctor about it!!!

Second, I understand wanting to stay away from medicines like antidepressants, but they may actually do you a world of good right now. You probably won't need to stay on them for very long. Part of the feelings you're having I'm certain are related to PPD. I grew up (wrongfully) thinking that antidepressants weren't something "normal people" needed, and I should just "suck it up" and everything would be fine. I've been through depression, and when PPD hit, that was a whole new ballgame. I went straight to the dr. and said, "I soooo need help!! People say hello to me and I start bawling!" I took Sarafem for about 6 weeks, and it was a huge help. Just keep repeating to yourself, "It is not a sin to take antidepressants!" It would be a bad thing to avoid taking them when it could help you deal with PPD better. You take pain medicine for physical injuries, so why not take antidepressants for the emotional injury?

Next, thank you older daughter for being so sweet. Maybe she could help with "booty duty" - she could help hand you wipes while you're changing the baby, get a drink of water, get something for the baby to wear. She needs to be included in the process - and that'll help the 3 of you bond.

It was hard for me bonding with both my daughters too. The people at the hospital were useless in the breastfeeding area with my first daughter, with my second, they wouldn't leave me alone! I still ended up using a bottle with both. I just had to hold them and say, "You are my sweet girl, and I love you so much..." and it was one of those things of you say it enough and it comes true sorts of things.

Good luck!!! Hope everything goes well with the dr. appointment.