I have been on anti-depressants for years now. I feel the same as you and don't want to take medicine every day if I don't have to, but I have to. It has taken me a long time to accept that, but I know now that I am a happier and more stable person on the right medication.
My son is 9 months old and still breast feeding. I was on anti-depressants throughout my entire pregnancy. My son is very happy and healthy and has not had any problems from the medication. I talked to my OB about it when I got pregnant because I was concerned about the side effects, but we looked up the side effects and decided together that the benefits of being on the medication far outweighed the risks. I think that I made the right decision for me. I think that doing research is an excellent start. You know you better than anyone else and you know what is right for you. Trust yourself to make the right decision, but do the research so that you know why you trust yourself (does that make sense?). :)
I did have to switch medications after I had my son and started breastfeeding. While the medication that I was on (Wellbutrin) was fine during pregnancy, there was a very low risk of seizure in breastfed babies. I decided to change to Zoloft for a year while I breastfeed and then go back to Wellbutrin when I am done nursing. Zoloft is more expensive because it is not covered by my insurance, but I would rather pay more to know that my son is safe. I figure I can do that for a year.
I hope that this helps you a little bit. I know it is hard and it is a big decision. I have also dealt with friends and especially family that don't understand. I am VERY close to my cousin who thinks that depression is a state of mind! She tells me to go have a cup of tea and think possitive thoughts. She thought it was crazy that I was on medication while I was pregnant.
One more thing that I will add before I go, is that I had a lot of concerns about post partum depression because I was already vulnerable to depression. I had NO problem whatsoever and I think that a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was already on medication. I am very greatful to have had the option to take medication rather than have to suffer through it.
I wish you the best of luck. If you ever have any questions about this, or just need to talk to someone who understands feel free to email me at ____@____.com.