Pacifier,Potty Training, Big Girl Bed Before the New arrival...where Do I Begin?

To prevent resentment, don't go too hard or too fast. I saw one 16 mo. old boy quickly potty train from laid back mom, when 21 mo. old girl was very slow from up tight pregnant mom who was trying to get one out of diapers before baby arrived. Even some children regress when the sibling arrives.

I was in the same boat. My daughter was 20 months when my son was born. Start with what is most important. For me, it was her geting into the big girl bed b/c I needed the crib! We started at nap time in the big girl bed and the crib was punishment (if she didnt' stay in her bed she had to get in the crib. She wanted to be in the bed so badly that it worked! After naps were down, we did night time. I didn't worry about potty training or pacifier until after the baby was born. I just felt like that was a lot of adjustment for her!

I am in the same situation and I am keeping my son in his crib. He has not tried to climb out of it yet. The baby will be in the play yard in my room for a few months and I am hoping when the baby starts sleepimg through the night then they can share a room.

Congrats on the new addition. Frankly, it is not such a good idea to make all of the changes you listed with your current child prior to having the new baby.
First, the pacifier is a security blanket and she will need that when the new baby arrives and she is feeling left out and pushed away.
Second, removing her from her bed to put another child in it will make her feel that the new child is more important and she may not be ready to leave her crib. Buy another crib.
Third, there are very few 2 year olds that are mature and ready to be potty trained - pushing will cause undue stress for the child.

I would suggest that everything with her be left just as it is and not make any radical changes for her, adding a new member to the family will be enough change for her for a while.
Yes, it means extra expense on a crib and diapers but that is what having children is about.

Best of luck to you.

You know, the big girl bed is the only important thing listed here if you want your new baby in the crib. But your girl doesn't need to be potty trained until she is ready. If she isn't ready, don't push it. Just start by putting a little plastic potty next to yours. Every single time you go, she sits on the one next to you. Make it fun. Say, "Let's go potty!" and you go and she goes. Together. Keep it up and if she is ready the light bulb will go off. Read on the potty together. Share stories on the potty together. Then check afterwards and show what you did in the potty and she shows what she did in the potty. Doing it this way is very positive. If she does something, give her an M&M. If she doesn't, say, "Next time!" and go on.

But if your girl isn't potty trained before the baby, that is alright. And if she is, don't be suprised if she reverses it some when the baby is born. That isn't unnatural at all.

The pacifier thing...how attached is she? Is your new baby going to have a pacifier? Is she so attached that she will have jealousy issues with the new baby having one? Will she steal the new baby's pacifier? If you think yes to any of these, let her keep it. Don't strain the relationship between big sister and new baby, there will already be enough jealousy there when your time is divided. A pacifier until 3 is not the end of the world. If she isn't that attached, then just ditch it. I had a friend who was walking with her son and a fire truck went by. She just put it in her pocket and said the fire truck took it. Silly, but it worked. Typically when you just ditch the pacifier, if they are really attached, you will have about 3 really bad days. Then they go on. Sometimes they substitute the thumb/finger which I hate because it is harder to break later and it makes their fingers/thumb smell bad. So don't push so hard. Make it fun and if it happens, it happens. But having two in diapers, with one being that much older, really isn't that big a deal. And the older one will train when she is ready.

V. S

First, I have to say I LOVE Amber's advice (mom of 4): "My only advice is that you remember not to make your oldest grow up, just because there is another baby..think about what your expectations would be for her if you were not having a baby, and stick with that."

Here's what we did:

We switched our girl to a bed the second I learned I was preggy - told her how she was a big girl now, crib was too small... Showed her the bed and let her be part of the transition of taking apart crib and putting in bed. Lay with her in it, played with her in it, told her how great it would be that we both could sit in it together, etc. Showed her how small the crib mattress was, oh too small for HER, she's a BIG GIRL now!

Paci either 3 months or more before baby comes or wait till after. Otherwise, your daughter will be jealous of the newborn if newborn has a paci. Our girl is 2.5 years and still has paci - for sleep only, although she does ask for it during times of stress, and I usually give it to her.

Potty training - that's your girl's decision when to do, not yours (no matter who says otherwise). I agree with other moms who say the younger you do it, the longer it takes. Really it depends on whether you can pay the price. Time-wise, it's going to take more time to potty train unless your daughter is 100% willing and ready. Diaper changes for 2 isn't that big a deal. My girl waits while I do the baby, and I've taught her that it's "her turn/his turn" and she doesn't make a fuss about it.

Best of luck. Just dive in; don't over-think it. That's what'll get you in trouble, trust me!!!!!!! Life goes by more smoothly if you turn your brain off during this time and just go on cruise control!!

Pacifier, bed, then potty training after the new baby.
My kids are 2 years apart and we did the pacifier at 1 before I was even preg. with my second. Bed we did about 5 mos. before the new baby came, it's a big transistion and you have to work them on going to bed and staying in bed. Realize that it will be a never ending battle until they get older. My son still gets up here and there, and has bad nights of not wanting to go to bed.
Potty training I didn't even attempt until after the baby. Daycare helped a lot with potty training once we felt he was ready.
Good Luck it will be tough at times with two little ones, but watching them interact being so young is so wonderful!!

I would just jump right in with the big girl bed and make sure you're in a good routine. She will eventually get used to it.

I would not worry about the potty training unless she's showing definite signs that she's ready because she may revert back when the new one comes. Especially since she's only barely 2.

honestly, i'd go ahead and shelf the potty training idea. she's awfully young for that and very likely to regress after a big event(like the birth of a new sibling), making all the effort for nothing. i'd get the pacifier away NOW - start slowly and make it completely gone within a month. after that's over and done with, wait a few weeks and start the bed thing. that's PLENTY of change for a little one to adjust to! congrats and good luck!

Hello there fellow l&d nurse. In my opinion, I would not rush all of those changes, I would continue to let your daughter " be a baby" until she is ready. I wouldn't force her into "being a big girl" until she is ready and indicates that she is ready. Very few kids are physically ready for potty training until after they turn two. I think she has enough changes to deal with anyway without feeling like she has to grow up so the new baby can take her spot! I really think that is how these little ones feel when a new baby arrives. I just think, regardless of the new baby, these are high expectations for your 1st daughter. Is there some other reason why you think she needs to make all of these changes? Because if not, then she probably isn't quite ready to make these transitions just yet. Worst case scenario, you buy or borrow a second crib and have 2 in diapers for awhile. Try not to worry and have everything "figured out" and I think everything will work out as it should!

I have 3 boys ages 5,4 & 2. IMO, 2 is to young to worry about any of that... let her have the pacifier if she wants it and if you decide to take her off of it during the day, let her have it at night.

all of those things is best to wait until after the baby is a few months old because 2 things will happen,

1, she will regress and it will be harder to deal with with a new baby as well...

2, she will resent baby becasue she had to get rid of her bed, pacifier and diapers all because of the baby...

I feel its best to just let her be her for now and worry about all that when the baby is about 4-5 months old at the earliest and you have a good routine set and she is used to the new baby. as far as the bed goes. a baby usually does not sleep in their crib right away any way so let her have it for a while longer until the baby really needs to use the crib.

you dont need all of that drama when you are pregnant any way.

She will need stability until after she is comfortable with the change. even your pregnancy will be disruptive (trust me they sense it) to her and its best to wait to make any changes later when things are setteled down and she is comfortable with all the changes.

Good luck
A. J

Start with the bed right away. Make it a special thing for her. Maybe let her pick out some new sheets or something for her new bed. It will give you all plenty of time to adjust. As far as the paci I'd slowly work on that after she gets used to the bed. It's a comfort thing for her and if you do too much at once it'll probably make her regress. Potty training? Is she showing signs of readiness? If not forget it or it's only going to make you crazy - I'm speaking from experience here. We pushed my son even though he wasn't showing readiness and ended up stopping figuring he'd tell us when he was ready.

Hi A.,

I would not get too stressed about all of this. My daugher was 20 months old when her little brother was born. I had her moved to a new room and into a big girl bed about 5 months prior to his arrival. We made a big deal about going and picking out her new bed and got her room decorate really cute for her. I didn't take down the baby bed, but I think that would depend on your daughter and if she is showing any signs of wanting to go back to it. I had Charlize down to having a pacifer only when she slept at 18 months, but didn't remove the pacifer all together until she was 2 1/2. As far as the potty training goes Charlize wasn't really ready to start that until she was 2 1/2. It is scary having two little ones so close together, but somehow we learn and adapt. Good Luck and I know you will really enjoy it.

Cheers,
M. D.
WineShop At Home

Don't even go there! A less than 2 year old is too young for potty training and being out of her crib. Go to a second hand store and get a new crib for your new baby. The pacifier you can wean off. Don't rush her off because you are having another one, trust me. I have 8 kids. Best wishes and God bless! :-)

I was in almost the same exact position you are. My girls are 17 months apart. We moved to the big girl bed first, because I needed the baby bed for my new addition. It was not as hard of a transition as I thought it would be. We got a twin bed and put a rail on it so she wouldn't fall out. She LOVES her big girl bed and has from the beginning. Potty training has taken some time, but she finally got the hang of it and she will be 3 in March. I wouldn't rush the potty training, introduce her to the potty but don't rush it, she won't do it until she's ready. I would make the pacifier the last priority, but that's just me.

Well, coming from a mother of 4 and one on the way, I say, only try the bed for now. And at that, I might wait until the summer begins, to give her a few months to grow. My youngest is 17 months (turning 2 on Aug.22) and the baby will be here in July. I will actually be leaving her in the crib and the baby in the play pen in my room for about 5-6 months. I am not a believer in toddlers in bigger beds though, I like the safety in confinement, and I have had enough kids to realize how much easier it is to have them in a crib for a bit longer. But, potty training this early could lead to regression after the baby comes, and most kids wont get it that young. I would not work on that until about 2.5..after you have adjusted to the baby, and he/she is on a more regular schedule. As far as the binky..well, that is up to you, but I too would wait on that until about 2.5. It comforts her, and a new baby will be a tough transition. She may not be able to verbalize that, or even understand it, but she can comfort herself, which will be a bigger help that you might understand. So, for me, the toddler bed would be the first thing I would tackle, but I have never done it that young, so I have no great advice. My only advice is that you remember not to make your oldest grow up, just because there is another baby..think about what your expectations would be for her if you were not having a baby, and stick with that. Good luck..more kids means more blessing!! ~A.~

Ours are 22 months apart. We moved my daughter to a big girl bed at 17 months to make sure there was plenty of time for her to forget the crib. Switching to the big bed is easy at this age. We have several friends that did it by 18 months because a new arrival was on the way and not one of us had a problem. Our toddlers would be sitting on the bed waiting for us in the morning just like when they were in a crib. It hadn't occured to them yet that they could get down ;-). Now, if you've got a climber (none of ours were), you might have a different experience.

Paci is a tough one, but If it's gone by 18 months you should be home free. I'd do the bed now, then the paci a month later. We waited til 2 to take the paci away from my son and it was awful. Peaceful bedtimes went away and were replaced by an hour of screaming. The best method I've heard is to snip the ends off the pacis and let your child find them. You can tell her it's broke and have her throw it away. After our horrible paci-removal experience the first try, we got our son a new one and did it this way a couple months later and it was much easier to deal with.

Potty-training -- ditto on waiting til she's almost 3. At least wait til 2 1/2. We started our daughter at 2 and we struggled til 2 1/2 -- almost to the day -- when she just did it one day. Everything suddenly clicked, and the battle was behind us. Sure wish I'd just started the process later. I could have saved myself 6 months of stress.

I know other people have said this but I would wait on the potty training. I have been working with my 2 and 1/2 year old daughter who is very "ready" but it isn't really going well. my sister who has potty trained 4 kids says you wouldn't believe how easy it is if you just wait until they are 3. My daughter tells me she needs to pee but wants to pee in her pull-up. She has even held her pee for up to 15 minutes. She just needs to decide that she is ready.

I would say don't even think about potty training. She will regress the moment the baby gets here from stress and you being too busy to be there every moment she needs you.

The pacifier is easy. Just have a ceremony such as giving it to the Pacifier Fairy under her pillow. The fairy will give it to a new baby somewhere and leave her a 'lovey' to sleep with. We never used pacifiers with any of the three of our kids but ALL my friends did and struggled with giving it up.... not because the kids couldn't do it but because THEY couldn't do it. They ALL said that the best way was cold turkey. Just 'lose it', throw it away, or do the fairy exchange for a lovey gift. But just do it cold turkey and under NO circumstances give it back. As the parent, just deal with the few days of screaming. Everybody said it was over after only two or three days. Everybody.

As for the bed, my first two had an easy transition as they were very excited about a new bed. We just threw the mattress for the new bed straight on the floor so they would not be hurt if they fell off the bed. We put a gate across the bedroom door and granted, the first week or so, I always found them asleep somewhere in the room on the floor but they quickly learned that the bed was more comfortable in the end and would stay in it....or get back in it after they wandered around their room enjoying their new found freedom. :) Just make sure their room is safe and let it go. Actually staying in the bed is nothing to battle. Let them wander and fall asleep where they may. They will eventually learn that the bed is where they want to be. It didn't take mine more than a week or so and it certainly didn't hurt them to sleep curled up with their blankets by the door.

Good luck and congratulations! My first two are 22 months apart and even at 7 and 5 and boy/girl, they are the best of friends. It is the new 11 month old that has thrown a bit of a loop in the family dynamic but the kids LOVE him and take great care of him.

I agree w/ Gabriella. My daughter turned 2 then I had my son the next month. My daughter never took a paci but my son does. The nurses in the hospital told me to slowly cut the tip of the nipple off each week making it shorter and more difficult to suck on. They will not want it making it their idea to stop using it. I have not done this as my son is only 14 months now. When I potty trained my daughter I never uses Pullups. They are a waste of money since they are basically a diaper. When she got to the point where she was telling me she needed to go I put panties on her w. plastic pants over them. Yes she had accidents but she felt the wetness and did not like it. Goos Luck it is some majot transitions.

I didn't read all of the posts but I was in your shoes just over two years ago. My daughter's birthday is August 25th and I had a son in November. All I can say is pick your battles. The bed is the most important. I would do that as soon as possible so she doesn't associate the baby's arrival with her losing her bed. You don't want her to think the baby is taking her things. Make it fun and make it seem like a grown up thing. We took our daughter to the store and let her have some say in her new bed linens.

You will be wasting your time trying to potty train. Odds are, she will regress to get attention anyway.

Let her get used to the new arrival before you start trying to take away her pacifier.

I would talk to her as much as possible about the new baby. My daughter was very excited and would try to share her sippy and her snacks with the baby in my belly. It was really cute. We've been very fortunate that our children get along really well most of the time.

Good luck! Please feel free to contact me directly if you want to discuss more.

J.

Whoa . . . slow down and calm down! Trying to get all those monumental tasks done before your daughter is even 2 and before your little one arrives will only serve to stress both you and your daughter! She certainly does NOT need to be "trained" before she is two and before new baby arrives! And it will likely backfire. Once your new baby arrives, your then 2 year old will take comfort in the things she knows and is familiar with.

Potty training -- unless she is showing signs she's ready, don't bother. I suggest visitng parents.com to get a good idea of what those signs are. And it is very common for children to backtrack when the new baby comes. She'll see how you spend time with the baby changing his/her diapers and will realize if she was in diapers again she'll have more of your time/attention.

Pacifier -- You'll probably have the most success with this one if you get it done now. My children didn't use pacis, but the older two both sucked their thumb (which is way worse in my opinion!). My eldest stopped sucking her thumb when she turned 4, only to revert back to it a few months later when her little sister was born.

Bed -- Hmmm. My little one just turned 2 and she's still in her crib and probably will be for a little while. But my oldest daughter moved to a twin bed at age 2. My middle daughter went to a toddler bed at about 2 1/2, because she was very intimidated by the bigger bed. It's all about readiness. If a big girl bed (or maybe a toddler bed) is something your daughter is enthusiastic about, then go ahead.

But please don't rush it! There is no right/wrong answer here, and there is no manual that says your daughter should be doing all these thing before age 2. Relax and enjoy both your little ones, take the cues from your daughter, and it will all fall into place.

I was in this same situation, my daughter turned 2 and a month later my other daughter was born...so, my advice, learn from my mistakes, transition to the big girl bed now, before you even mention baby and don't tell her the bed is for the baby, just cheer and rant about how great it is to be in a big girl bed. Try to take her off the paci, slow transition. As for potty training, girl, DON'T! My oldest was doing a great job right before the baby was due and then baby came and, Aghhhhhhh, it was a nightmare! I would try to take her to the potty before I nursed, well, she wouldn't go and then darn if right as I started nursing the baby she would stand right in front of me, out of arms reach and pee on the floor!!!! Trust me, just wait, your already a pro at changing diapers so just pat yourself on the back for being so efficient with two! Good luck and now that they are turning 4 and 2, I wouldn't have it any other way! Bless you and your family!

First of all, breathe! It will be ok! My boys are 16 months apart. It can be done and it is so much fun! My personal opinion on pacifiers is to go cold turkey. You might have a few days of crying but then it is over and you can move on with your life... if you try to gradually take it away, it will just wear you out. Second, don't even consider potty training unless she is really ready. That is just another thing that will drag out and wear you down. Having two in diapers is not the end of the world. Also, the older child often regresses after the birth of a sibling, so she might just forget her potty training anyways! And finally, you have plenty of time to get her into a big girl bed as well. I personally just bought another crib, but I really didn't need to. The baby is still in my room in a bassinet and probably will be there for a while longer (he is 3 months old now). Just remember that if you do decide to switch her to her big girl bed, it needs to happen well before or well after the baby is born. You want your routines to stay as consistent as possible when you have the baby to make things easier. When I went to the hospital to deliver, I left detailed instructions for my mother-in-law about my son's care. I did not let anyone take him out of our house while I was gone so that he would always be in his house, in his bed, on his schedule. My other piece of advice is to always try to take care of the older childs needs first. Get yourself a good carrier (I love my Moby Wrap, but something like a hotsling will work) and wear the baby as much as possible. that gives the newborn closeness with you, but leaves you able to care for the older child.
Good luck and congrats,
A.

Hey A. Congrats first of all :) My kids are 21 months apart and I had was worried about some of the same things as you were when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. First I can't give any advice on pacificers since neither of my kids would take them. As far as the potty training let me just tell you that it really isn't that much more to change one while changing the other...I had always read to not rush the child so I just let my son do as always once my daughter got here and finally within the last 2 months he decided he was ready and pretty much is completely potty trained now (don't get me wrong there are mistakes but NO more diapers :)) As far as the bed I would say don't worry about that either unless your new baby isn't going to sleep in a basinet or anything like that. My daughter uses my sons bed now but she slept in a travel crib until she was around 4 months and that is when we made the move to the big boy bed. I think like a lot of mom's have said don't change a lot all at once since the biggest change is yet to come. I thought my son would FREAK out about having a new baby around because he is such a mommas boy but he took it so well and LOVES his sister. It is a lot of work but so worth it and I will tell you that the first year has been hard but it has gotten SO much easier. You will be so glad that they are close in age!!

I am a mom of three. My oldest turned two three weeks before my twins were born. She had started potty training and that flew out the window with the babies. I would say just wait. It doesn't take that much more to change another diaper. You might want to start working with Pullups so that she can start becoming more independent. Having three in diapers is expensive, look for coupons and if anyone wants to offer presents or help ask for diapers. Also try the store brand diapers, several brands are really good and truly save money. We use the Kroger brand pullups and they are wonderful. They have all the features of the more expensive brand name and a ballerina of the front. Walmart has a store brand pullup that is very good also. As for the crib, my oldest was in a toddler bed at thirteen months, because she was a climber. I put a gate on her door and made sure there was nothing she could get hurt on or bother within her reach. This really entailed alot. I couldn't leave any toys or anything for her to do out or she would want to play. She had her bed and a stuffed animal or doll. We totally took the crib down out of sight and acted as if there was not a different option for her to sleep. Now, my youngest daughter, slept in her crib until she was a little over 4. She loved her crib. When she was ready she moved to a big girl bed and that was it. No problems there at all either. If your toddler is very independent then I would try to move her now, if not plan on using the pack and play or bassinet and hope she is ready to move before the baby is. As for the pacifier, we had a big girl day and threw it in the trash can. She really never looked back, but my twins never liked a paci. Hope this helps. Your house may get crazy for a little while, but in the end it is worth it.

A.,

Last year I welcomed my third when my second was only 15 months old. You have the right ideas, I dealt with much of the same before my youngest arrived since he was to share a room with my middle child. The first thing that I did was to get my then 15 mo. old son off of the pasifier. I wanted to make sure he was as far removed from the habit before the baby was born so there wouldn't be any "binkey stealing." The second thing that I did was to get him into a big boy bed, because I too had to use the crib for the baby. Some advice here: If it is posible to arrange the room so the bed is in the same spot as your daughter sleeps in the crib, do so. I found out quickly that though my son loved the big boy bed, he had trouble sleeping on the other side of the room. As soon as I rearranged the room and put the bed where he had been sleeping in the crib, it was smooth sailing as far as the bed was concerned. As far as the potty training goes, I am just now working on that with my middle son so I don't have much advice here. Oh, do expect temporary regression here once the baby is born. Its normal for kiddos to have accidents quite a bit when a new baby is brought home.

Another piece of advice: Since they are going to share a room, start them off sleeping together as soon as you can. My son was actually excited about sharing his room (got lucky here) and before the baby was to outgrow the basinet, I started putting them in at night together. After the 3rd day, both of them had adjusted to each other's noises and even now one of them can be crying and the other one is 100% out!

Congrats and Good Luck!!

A.

Like others have said, I would start with the bed. Potty training for us was a nightmare. We had tried everything with no luck and then found out we were being moved. We put it on the back burner and then he did it himself, but he was 3 when it happened. I wouldn't worry about the paci, my son had his until he was 3 and has no probems at all (he's 5 1/2 now). We had 2 major moves between his 2nd and 3rd birthdays and I just couldn't bring myself to take away his security. We had cut the time down to where he only had it for bedtime, but after the final move and settling in, it disappeared with no problems.

Good luck!

The biggest advise I can give you is to NOT rush your little one because the baby is coming! It will be a lot to do with the newborn but rushing could create an even bigger problem. Think of this...if you weren't expecting another would you be in a hurry to take the paci, put her on the potty and move her from the crib?

My son was 1 year and 8 months when son #5 was born. I started with the big boy bed! Since the newborn was in a cradle in my room for the first 3 months I really didn't rush. But I never said that he had to give up his crib for the new baby; that can create anomosity. But when he did move we made a big deal that now the baby could be bigger too.

It can be tough, just take it 1 day at a time. Again, I would NOT RUSH her. My family will pray for your's.

God bless.
M.

I had a 20 month old son when my second son was born. We kept him in his crib until it was time for the baby to sleep in the crib - ie; too big for the pack-n-play - so he was a little over two by then. We made it a big deal about him moving to the new room with a big bed. So I would second doing it now or make it extra special if you do move her after the baby arrives.
I also agree that you would probably want to wait on the potty training. I understand that girls are considered easier to train thatn boys, but if she isn't ready, she'll definitely regress after the baby is born and that will cause a HUGE stress for you. Believe me I've been there - as another poster said, just when you think they are ok for you to turn your back and take care of the baby, they go right where they are and you get to clean up the mess. Not good for the post pardum mommy. Wait until you and she are really ready, and again make it something very special for her that only big girls get to do.
Good luck and hang in there. The first 4 months are hard, but it is totally worth it. My boys are now 5 and 3 1/2 and I wouldn't have it any other way - they adore each other.

L.

There is no rush to do those all at once! Relax and start with the big girl bed. Remember that the pacifier and potty training may not happen until after she's three, and you don't want to rush them.

It will all work out just fine, and congratulations!

Hi A.,
I have two boys that are 17 months apart.I know boys are different about potty training, but I wouldn't worry about starting potty training till after two. We didn't worry about the pacifier till right about two either, and then it was slow process. Since you need the crib, you might start with a fun toddler princess bed or something now, keeping both the crib and bed in the room. Maybe let her take naps in the bed or just choose to use it whenever she wants. We did that with our oldest, who got a race car bed with spiderman sheets! Don't worry, it will work out for your family. BTW that's good age difference with the kids, my boys are BFF! congrats.

My daughter loves her Noni (my mom). My mom brought over her mattress for her "big girl bed" and my daughter is super excited because her Noni gave it to her.
I would not worry about the paci or potty. That will come in time. My daughter's paci fell behind the bed and we could not get to it in the middle of the night very easily. She tought we threw it away and that was the end of it. She was fussy for a couple of nights (3 to be exact) and then it was fine. I had read all these stories about it only takes 2 nights and they are fine without it. I thought...not my child...SHe LOVED her paci and STILL talkes about it.

Hi! I know my response is a little late but I just went through the same thing. My daughter turned 2 in November an my son was born in December. I put off potty training but we had her moved to a big girl bed by the end of September. We actually moved her into a new room and bought her a toddler bed and bedroom set that she helped pick out. She was so excited to be in a big bed that she didn't care about leaving her crib. After a few weeks I asked her if it would be okay if we gave her old bed to the baby and she said yes. We started calling her old room and bed the baby's room and bed and her room was called the big girl room and her bed was the big girl bed. I was still anxious to see how she would react when the baby came but it has been over a month now and so far so good! I am still putting off the potty training though! I really think it is up to each individual child but I decided it would be better to try and if it worked out then I would save the money from buying a new crib, if it didn't then I could at least say I tried. Good luck!

Move her to the big girl bed first. Don't associate it with the baby. Just tell her she is getting bigger and needs a bigger bed. We did it like this. My son and I left for the day and my husband dismantled the crib and put it in another room(not put back together). We had been talking with him about this for several weeks before to prepare him. When the crib is gone and you can't rely on it because it is in pieces, you and your daughter have no choice but the big girl bed. It took weeks before he would stay in the bed without getting up between 2-10 times per night. It was lots of work for us. We even had to use a gate on his doorway(door opened) to keep him in his room a few times. Then I would try potty training, if she is interested, this late spring or summer. If she resists, then you may have two in diapers for a while. No big deal, except for your grocery bill!! Let her keep the paci. She needs a comfort object for the transition. You can work on that when she turns 3. Good luck and congratulations!!!

I think I am echoing everyone here, but I think the only thing you really need to do before #2's arrival is transition to a big girl bed. I have been told that if you try to potty train that young and then introduce a new baby, the toddler tends to backslide in the potty area anyway. And she may need the paci for comfort once she has to share attention. At such a young age, it's not the end of the world if she still needs a paci for naps & bedtime, if it gives her comfort. If you introduce two many changes at once and then introduce a new baby, she may develop resentment and see the baby as having taken her things...aka, "the baby has my bed, uses diapers, uses pacis, and I can't?! what the heck, Mom?!"

Congrats on the impending arrival, and don't stress out so much. It will all work itself out in due time...

God bless!

Hi,
First, as someone else said, breathe and try to relax, everything will work out. Do not try to make too many changes at this time.
If you are going to change her into a "Big Girl Bed" I strongly suggest that when you get her new bed that you completely dismantle the baby bed so she will not feel that the new baby has "taken" her bed from her. I know this seems like a lot of work but it will make the change easier for all of you.
The pacifier really depends on how attached she is to it and how much she uses it for comfort, etc. Only you know how much she needs or depends on it.
Potty training will be MUCH easier when she is older. When the child is ready to be potty trained, it will only take about 2 weeks. Trying before they are ready, will only frustrate you both.
Don't try to make her grow up to soon, you will miss so much. They grow up fast enough as it is.
You can do this. There will be days that you want to sit down & cry but there will be more good days then bad.
Just remember that the house can be cleaned later and take the time to enjoy your kids.

I have been married to the love of my life for almost 44 years. I am a mother to 3 daughters and grandmother to 7. I also have had an in home daycare since 1979.

Wow! Sounds like you are going to have a lot on your plate. Do you even have the option to keep her in the crib and buy another for the baby? I ask this because it will probably save you a lot of heartache. If she is still in a crib you won't have the bedtime and naptime issues that you would have if she was able to get in and out of her bed on her own. DO NOT try to potty train her before the baby comes, you will be setting yourself up for failure. Sure, you can force your child into using the potty but if you wait until she is completely ready it will be completely stress free. Just have panties, pull ups and a baby potty available for her and she will put it all together in her OWN time. Give her some instruction so she knows what to do but it takes time. Relax and continue to let your 2-year old do what 2-year olds do, even if you are going to have another baby. You would treat her very differently if you did not have this new baby on the way. Try to keep that in mind so you don't put too many unrealistic expectations on her. Good luck!

I agree with paci first. It's a lesson learned the hard way in our house. Taking the paci away disrupted my son's sleep, and he was already in a bed. so he'd get up, wander down the hall, and throw tantrums when we put him back in bed. That was when I bought a baby gate for his door. So, with my two year old, I plan to go cold turkey with the paci, let it settle, the move to a bed. And,I believe the closer you can wait to 3years to potty train, the shorter amount of time it will require overall. No one really tells you how long the process really is. Seems like it's a full year if you start at 2. GOOD LUCK!

My kids are 2 years apart. We had the "big kid's" bed in his room so he could get used to it. We even let him take naps in it so it was special. He was really comfortable with the bed well before the baby arrived and we never told him that he was transitioning because of the baby. I never wanted him to resent his sister for the changes he had to make.

We tried very hard to wean him off a lot of things before the baby arrived, including the pacifier. Our thought was that he would already be doing the things he needs to do because he was a big boy, not because the baby was coming. That worked well for us--he's never blamed his sister for those changes and he really loves her.

I agree that the potty training will be the hardest. Don't push that too hard. I just had to accept that potty training would happen after the baby was a few months old.

Good luck!

Hey A.. I would start with the passy. I slowly cut the end of her passy off, till eventually there was nothing left byt the plastic shell. Oh, make sure you get rid of all of the passy's except one. Then cut the one passy back. It was a 3-4 wks process for us. She did great and never really missed it. Then I would do big girl bed. They usually do better than you expect. Most kids don't even realize for a while that they can get up out of bed. Get a really big gate for the side of her bed and it's almost like a crib. Then the potty thing...now if she is not showing any ineterest, I don't think I would try this one. This can be a really BIG battle unless they are ready. 17 months is pretty young. Make sure you have a potty in your house for her to use and just talk about it and practice. I wouldn't push it though. Good luck!

All mine are about 2 years apart. Don't rush her on anything. Don't try to do all at one time. Expect that there will be some regression once the baby arrives. I always started with the big kid bed, as I needed the crib for the new one. We took the crib down and packed it away until right before the new one arrived. Potty training is something that cannot really happen until she is ready. You can introduce the potty and encourage her, but you can't make her. My girls were easier than the boys, but still they did it on their own schedule. My youngest daughter was going on the potty before her baby brother was born. After his arrival, she regressed for a few weeks. Eventually, she decided that she really didn't like wearing diapers and there were some fun things about playing big sister.

I would start with the bed. The pacifier and potty training can wait, right??? The baby can always sleep in a pack n play for a couple of months anyway so I wouldn't rush it too much as she is still pretty young. Don't force the potty training. If she's not ready you'll just be battling and cleaning up accidents all the time. 2 in diapers is not the end of the world. good luck.