My 2 Year Old Is So on Edge HELP

Have he been vaccinated recently? Have his bowel habits changed? My son used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and I couldn't sooth him. He had chronic diarrhea too. I told my husband he has to be in pain because I cannot calm him. Yes he was - so watch for those types of things.

Well, I would say get the binky and save your sanity!!! Is it important to break those habits, yes of course, but when you are trying to change so many things, maybe not. Pick the things you want the most...obviously new baby is not an option, but remember that for some kids that is a HUGE adjustment. But I would say get him in his room before you fight the binky thing. It just seems like the logical answer to me, he is just not self soothing any other way. Good luck, I know it is tough, I have 4 and just gave my 2 year old son back his binky too, for similar problems..whining at me all the time!! His sister gave hers up a two with no problem, but he is different, and deserves to be treated for the individual that he is. Not to mention the frustration that was setting in after listening to him whine all day. I was getting mean with everyone, he was wearing me down, so we are all happier and I am sure with in the year he will give it up/ Good luck to you!! ~A.~

There is nothing wrong with allowing him to have his paci. If the pacifier comforts him, then by all means, allow it. My daughter was exactly 2 when the new baby was born and I can't imagine taking from her the one thing that makes her feel secure. At some point in the future you can deal with the paci, but not now. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry advises that the pacifier is not an issue until 4 years of age. I agree that you need to get him out of your room, as I'm sure that is where the baby will be for some time. You don't want him to associate that move with the baby's arrival. Maybe start with nap time? Have him take naps in his big boy room, and then progress to night time. Just remember it is a tough time for the little guy - lots of TLC.

S., The clue is you took away his security. He will have enough to deal with when the new baby comes. My 3rd child sucked his thumb, i was expecting the 4th so i encouraged him to suck his thumb. It made him happy. i was told all kinda stuff by others, that it would cause his teeth to come in crooked and such, balony. He gave up that thumb when he was about 3yrs of age, without any urging and his teeth were straight. Hes 50yrs now and if I was starting now i would do it again.

Well, I don't have any great answers but was "so relieved" to see your post today. Our toddler turns two on Monday and I'm about to go insane with the constant whining and screaming (he's screaming at the top of his lungs when he's mad or glad, frustrated, etc). He has had alot of changes in his life lately (new baby sister, mom going through postpartum depression and an anxiety disorder, starting mother's day out, having a cold, spraining his ankle, etc). We gave him benedryl for a couple of days and then I said no more because I was afraid it was affecting him negatively. I still worry about what's going on with him. Hoping it's just a passing phase. He is so incredibly stubborn and when he has his screaming fits will not give up, apologize, etc. He does want his binky alot more now which is fine with us since his life is so ever changing right now. We did get him moved to his toddler bed before his baby sister came home from NICU which worked out well for us. I'd give him back his passy for a while for his security and your sanity. Good luck

Hi S., I just wanted to offer a little advice because my daughter was 19 months old when I had my 3rd child. Her pedi said she would probably regress a bit when the baby arrived, due to the change. He said 2 yr olds want to feel like the center of the world, and they have a very hard time adjusting to the arrival of a new baby. She did regress, she stopped showing an interest in potty training, she started throwing more fits, and she wanted to nurse every time I nursed the baby. You may want to get him into his own room well before the baby gets here, to make the transition smoother. I don't see anything wrong with giving him the binky back either. Sometimes they can only handle so much change at a time. Good luck, I feel for you :)

My advice is give him what he needs now. My son was 2 1/2 when I got pregnant with number 2 and that was SO hard on him. Still is. When they are 2 they are still just babies which is why he's screaming. He can't communicate what he needs but right now he needs all the comfort he can get. That would be you and all the love and understanding you can give, his pacifier and probably still sleep in your room. Changing any of that is a BIG deal and he's already facing a BIG deal and a complete life change.

I wasn't able to see all of that for my son as soon as I needed to and I regret that.

We can't grow our kids up because of how old they are or when we are ready. We have to sit back and let them tell us when they are ready.

Good luck.

S.,

My son was 15 months when my third baby was born. I too took the binky from my son before the baby's arrival so I wouldn't have to worry about him taking it from the baby. Hind sight, I absolutely would have done the same thing again. It has been well over a year since he has had a binky and on occation he still snaches his little brother's binky.

If I were you, I would try to get him into his own room ASAP, especially if the baby is going to be taking his place in your room. You want to do it well enough ahead of the baby's arrival so that he doesn't have resentment toward the baby for taking his sleeping spot. My boys (the two youngest) share a room and I made sure that my middle son was out of the crib and in a big boy bed months before the baby's arrival. They are already going to have enough adjustment, and yes some resentment toward the baby without adding to it by making them feel that the baby is taking everything that is theirs. How to do it? The only thing you can do is just do it! You have enough time right now that you could start him out in there for part of the night and extend the amount of time daily. He may surprise you and take right to it. I built up the big boy bed so much that to my surprise, my son took right to it. It may help to postition his bed in the same spot in his room that its in in your room.

I would bet that your son is acting out because he is really starting to sense that a major change to his life and routines is coming his way. At five months along, I bet your body has just now started to change in ways perceptible to him. Reassurance, patience, and love does wonders. It is hard for little ones to go from being the center of your world to sharing the spot light with a new baby!

It is all worth it though. I am amazed daily by the relationship that my sons have!!

Good Luck and Congrats!!

I agree with Amber, get him in his room, give in on the passy issue for now if you need to. You can always fight that battle later. The longer he stays in your room, the harder of a fight you will have. Perhaps he is acting out because you are pregnant and he is noticing changes? It's natural for kids this age to go through these hellish phases (mine is right now), but pretty soon, everyone will adjust.

I say get him checked out at the doctor. My older son got an ear infection when he was little and he gave out no signs he had it, just acting out. Once that is ruled out then maybe you could try letting him get excited about his new room. Maybe help you pick out things to go in it. Or you might want to transition him to the new room and then lose the paci in a little bit. Good luck with all the new changes and I say you are one daring prengnant lady. My patience goes right out the window when the pregnancy hormones kick in. So make sure not to attempt something now that you can wait til after the baby is born to try.

S.,

I had similar problems when my second son was born. Please give your son back his passy. That is his security blanket. With so many other changes going on he really needs something that is familar esp since he will have to share you too. Also I would recommend looking into Parenting with Love and Logic. www.loveandlogic.com/ they have some great advice that really helped my son to feel in control when so many other things were changing in his world. Giving him more control over the little things helped him to accept the bigger things.

Dear S.,
Please give him back his paci. My pedi told me to allow our daughter to keep her paci until age 5 if she wanted it. I was shocked! He said you are not able to reason with a 2 or 3 year old therefore they do not understand why you are taking away their source of comfort and security. She didn't keep her paci utnil she was 5 at 3 I would only give it to her a nap time and bed time until she fell asleep then I would take it out of her mouth but leave it close to her in case she woke up and felt she needed it she would be able to find it.
She eventually stopped sucking on it but she would hold it in her hand while she went to sleep and then she eventually gave it up. I told her it was getting really worn out and she should think about throwing it in the trash so she did. What a big girl!
Another thing to consider is do one milestone at a time and space them out. For example let him keep the paci first, then work on moving him into his new room. Once that is acomplished then work on potty training when that's done move onto the next thing and so on...
This keeps the both of you from being frsutrated and stressed. I hope this helps you!

Blessings,
A.

Hi S.

Not to sound harsh, bc it sounds like all the other responses were "nice" but I think that he is just being a 2 year old, I have a 2 year old as well and it seems to be just part of the terrible twos. I just take it one day at a time and pick my battles wisely. It is extremely frustrating to have your child always fussy esp if they were never fussy to start.
About the whole pacifier thing, I personally think that he is way too old for one, and think its tacky when I see other older children in public with one stuck in their mouths. It also can create problems in their teeth as my pediatric dentist says, a paci is meant to pacify a small infant not a two year old. My daughter had a paci until around 6 months and she never has missed it. But I understand people think differently about the whole pacifier thing but I just think it is the parent's laziness to not give up the pacy bc they do not want to hear their child scream. I think you should just take it away cold turkey and explain to him that the new baby will need it and he is a big brother now so he needs to act like it. Hopefully I didn't offend you but that is just my opinion! good luck!

Dear S.,
Children are very intuitive and of course, you have told your children about the new baby coming. Your little boy has been "the baby' until now and he is worried about losing your attention. It is perfectly OK, even advisable to let him have his "passy" or whatever makes him feel secure during this time of transition. It is important to make the transition to his own room as soon as possible, so he doesn't associate that with the arrival of the new baby. Be sure to get him a night light and maybe a new cuddly stuffed animal or fuzzy blanket to sleep with. He will need lots of reassurance. Be sure to make time each day to spend alone with each of your children, even if it's only 15 minutes. Reading a story at bedtime together is an excellent ritual that allows for a lot of cuddling and bonding. He just wants to know that you still love him. It's important to get started right away, because, by the time the baby arrives, you will be so tired and busy, it will be harder to do.
Good luck and let me know how things turn out.
Mother of 8, grandmother of 4

I'm thinking the acting out is normal for this age. Both my children did it. He is having to adjust to the thought of a new baby.

Regarding the paci, my daughter gave hers up at 18 months with no problem but took it on again when her little brother came along 6 months later. I had a friend tell me to expect that. I have a picture of her with two of his paci's in her mouth at once on the day he came home. She finally got rid of it at the same time her bother did. She was around 3 1/2. I didn't see any problem with her having it since she was having to adjust to a new brother already. She is six now and doesn't seem negatively effected by it.

Don't stress over it. Just show your son how much you love him. He may be acting out some since he wants this reassurance with the new baby coming. Good luck.