Pacifier or No Pacifier????

Every baby is totally different. Some babies are good with the paci and others aren't. My son never got the hang of it... he'd suck a bit and then spit it out. try it and see how it goes. However, keep in mind... she's only 2 weeks old. Imagine how scared you would be if you had only been on the planet for 2 weeks... I just always tried to put myself in my son's place.

I also was scared to use a pacifier when my daughter was a newborn, but now at 15 months, I think it is one of the best decisions we made to give her one. It has helped soothe her, made her a great sleeper and gives her comfort when she needs it.

Newborn infants usually sleep a lot (and wake a lot), and get tired very fast... so I guess, she is wanting the boob a lot?

Differentiate between her just being "tired" or her being hungry and needing to feed. And, infants usually fall asleep during/after nursing too many times. So it may just seem like she wants the boob when she's 'tired.' Infants can also "cluster feed"... meaning they nurse all the time, even every hour. But if they are not getting enough intake, then they are always hungry, thus wanting the boob, often....

Is she latching on properly and you can see her actually sucking and swallowing? Is the entire areola in her mouth? Is she nursing long enough to get to the hind milk? If she falls asleep or seems satisfied after nursing, then she is probably getting enough intake. But just feed her on demand, she's so young and they need it.

babies even 'suck' on their fingers in the womb... so, sucking is just an instinct and self-soothing. If it suits her, try the pacifier. My daughter didn't like it, my son did. It helped a great deal.

Either way, whether it is with a boob, a pacifier or a bottle... they will still have to 'wean' from it later... so pacifying takes all forms, human or not. It's okay. They won't go to college with it. LOL

Pacifiers comes in all sizes per the age of the baby. Just buy several kinds/brand and try it. That is, if you want to. Then perhaps just for sleeping, try and put it in her mouth.
Yes, if it falls out of their mouth, they can wake. Maybe or maybe not. Each baby is different. Once my son fell asleep, it would fall out. But he didn't scream or wake for it. As he got older, we just put about 3 paci's in the crib, and he could just grab one himself.

So many opinions on this subject.

At this age, can't really expect her to self-soothe... rocking/nursing etc., are comforts they need to sleep. They need Mommy and the bonding from us. Its just an instinct and for survival purposes. As she gets older... you can try and get regular about her nap/sleep times. But she's too young now.

My kids were both so different with sleep. My daughter was very high-demand, my son is not. So I just had to do what worked for each one & customizing it. And now, they are both great sleepers and nappers. I was more attachment oriented and co-slept as needed. So I'm one of those. Every Mom is different... cue into your baby and see what works. But at this age, we sorta have to keep up with their needs.

Well I don't really have a 100% solution, just some thoughts.

Good luck,
Susan

H.,

I guess my question after reading all the responses is, how often is your baby waking? Is it literally every ten minutes? If she's waking and actually rooting then she's hungry, but if she's waking or adjusting then let her be and make sure that is all it is before you put the breast to work.

It is typical for newborns to wake to feed every two to three hours, and sometimes more often if they are not latching properly and getting enough BM.

My son used to not really wake but, would move and tumble around the bed looking to get comfy and to find me. It took me some time to realize this was his way of soothing and he needed nothing more than a pat on the back to know I was there. Make sure she really needs something before offering her anything.

A paci is fine if that is what you want to do and what works for your child. But, like Susan said you will then have to wean her from that later. If it works then go for it! I'm all about doing what it takes to make our kids comfy and happy.

Good Luck.

Hi, Congrats on the new baby! My 3 year old never was very interested in a pacifier and I was very happy about that. Now, my 3 month old on the other hand wants to be sucking all the time. He has used a paci since he was born and God help you if it popped out of his mouth, he would lose his ever living mind. I was very afraid that it would be very hard to ween him. I read an article that if you wanted to ween 3 months was the age to do it. So, at 3 months we slowly took it away and he didnt seem to mind, I guess at this age they are starting to soothe themselves. They will find a finger or two to suck on. I say let her suck away! I dont think it will last too long and it will make your life a little happier! Good Luck

Hi H.

I had always been taught that pacifiers were bad juju. Fortunately, a couple of my girlfriends set me straight. Our son had a tremendous need to suck. Finally at 3 weeks, I gave in and gave him a pacifier. It was a blessing for both of us. He still nursed of course and he used the pacifier a lot. At age 2 months, he spit it out and never wanted it again.

Good luck

All the best, S. H

Hi H.,

Congratulations on the arrival of your daughter! I say try the paci and see if she likes it. My daughter is 8 mos and for the first couple weeks we were afraid to use the paci - worried about nipple confusion, how she'd learn to self soothe, if we'd be able to tell need for food vs. comfort, etc. Then right around 2 weeks we gave in and it was wonderful. She loved it. When she was hungry she'd fuss even if she had the paci, so we knew. When she was that little she didn't wake up when it fell out. We went through a brief period later before she could get it back in herself where we'd have to pop it back in, but it was maybe once or twice a night and it passed quickly.

she still uses her paci, but puts it in herself (we, too, put several in with her at bedtime as at least one usually gets lobbed over the edge). and she is put in her crib awake for naps and at bedtime and puts herself to sleep without crying (though she does like to play with her pacis for a few minutes before nodding off).

Best,
K.

My son took a pacifier from about 2 weeks of age until 15 months (he weened himself). It was a gret help as he always wanted to be on the boob. i think that if it helps her soothe herself then thats a good thing. Also, my son would spit the pacifier out during the night but wake for it only once in a while. I suggest if you do decide to go the pacifier route, always keep 2 in reserve in a designated spot as once my son liked the pacifier he really wanted it to sooth himself. Oh yes a quick note... when my son was born I was 100% against giving him a pacifier however once he did start to use one, it was a life saver and helped me calm him as he had bad calic. Good luck to you and congratulations on your little princess!

I would definitely try the pacifier, some babies have a stronger need to suck (this doesn't mean they are hungry). You can use it whenever she wants to suck outside of feeding times- sleep or not sleeping. At this point, I would not worry about forming bad habits with the paci. A feeding schedule may also prove beneficial: nurse every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day and then whenever she wakes up at night.
Ultimately your goal is that she learns to soothe herself- but this is a process and will happen by 3 to 5 months (if you let it happen- not being the one to always soothe her to sleep).
Don't go and put the paci back in her mouth unless you want to... just give it to her when you put her down. Also, using a paci may take some practice- you may need to hold it in her mouth as she learns to suck on it or as she learns to control herself more.
Are you swaddling her? That is key!! I just did a series on infant sleep in January on my sleep blog- check it out: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2009_01_01_archive.html

C., sleep consultant, blog writer www.lullabyluna.com

a pacifier was a sleep saver in our house. We were really worried about using one, since they didn't use them in the hospital, and you just hear stories on not wanting them to get 'hooked' on using them... but on night 2 of being home from the hospital, we decided to try one out.. and it was FANTASTIC! babies can tell he difference - like, hey I'm hungry and sucking, and nothing is coming out - and they will let you know when they are hungry. If they just want something to suck on because it's soothing, then the pacifier is marvelous. (for our family atleast)

Hi H.,
I just have a story to share with you that came from my pediatrician. I have four children. Our oldest is 24 and our youngest is 8. I NEVER used paci's with my two older children. With my third, I worked and he took the paci sometimes and not other times. But what I found more interesting about his paci use, was the fact that depending on where he was while I was at work would depend on if he needed the paci. I had three friends that took care of him. One friend that said he never needed it. The other always said he needed it. Well, then there was my friend who found the happy medium....she would give him the paci if she was trying to hold him off from eating because he knew I would arrive shortly. So, if your baby "needs" a paci, will probably depend a lot on your perspective. I never used the paci much with him. Now on to my youngest...the paci user! I watched my sister-in-law use the paci with her two oldest kids...and I saw how easy she made putting kids to bed look! I always had to spend all kinds putting my kids to bed. All she ever had to do was read one story, put the kids in bed and count to 10, then walk out of the room...mine always cried, and caused a huge fuss. So, I decided to try the binky with my youngest. So at a Dr. appointment, i asked the pediatrician his take on binky's and he said, "Well, I want you to get a picture in your mind." I said, "Ok". "Visualize your crawling around under the crib on your hands and knees, naked." That was all he needed to say to tell me that maybe the paci wasnt such a good idea! ugh! I finally got a binky and silky loving baby and that was the story that he left me with! LOL He said, he was all up for children learning how to self pacify themselves.

So, needless to say, I had three years of her having to have a binky to sleep..along with her silky! Then we went away for the weekend and I knew I had packed the paci but I couldnt find it. So, silky had to stay hidden too! It had to go on for a long time for her to not cry when she had silky but no paci! One more thing. When she was 4-5 years old, I was cleaning out the kitchen drawer where I hid extra ones, she saw it and i let her have it..thinking, no big deal...but guess what? a little while later, i went to her room and there she was actually sucking on her binky! Ohhhhh yuck! She told me she still loved her binky. So, i had to cut the rubber part off...since she said she wanted it for her dollies! So, even when it was years later, she still remembered how to use it and still wanted it!

So, take my story and just think about what your values and ideas about binky's are all about. As my baby got older, one rule I had was that she was only allowed to have her binky if she was in her bed...I can't stand babies running around the house with binkys hanging out of their mouths while they talk. She was allowed to have it while at daycare, but only if she was on her mat/crib. Never just walking around playing.
Best of luck with the paci problem!
T.

I have three kids, first one never took the binky, second one took to it but soon tossed it out! I think he was about 4-5 months old! Last baby LOVED the binky ALOT! It took months to wean him off of it. I suggest using the binky for now, some babies need more sucking then others. But I would eliminate the use of it closer to the age on one, only becuase I KNOW how hard it is to get rid of the binky if you baby becomes attached. I have also heard that binky use can help reduce SIDS. At this time it would not hurt to give the binky a try, if it suceeds great, if not you have the answer to all your questions =}

We used a pacifier with our daughter and plan on it for our son. It was nice to have something that she could soothe herself with because she always wanted something in her mouth. It especially was a life saver in the car. Once she was a bit older, it became strictly a sleep mechanism - getting only for naps and bedtime, then she chose to get rid of it before she turned 3. We found that it worked very well for us - especially since I was only able to nurse for 6 months, so we would have had issues after that if she was accustomed to being soothed by nursing. Just remember that it is your choice - don't let others tell you it is right or wrong if you have a strong opinion about it.
K.

Hi H.,

Skip the pacifier. If she is tired, let her cry it out. It might sound really hard (and heart-breaking) at first, but after awhile, she'll learn to skip the boobs all together. It might take a week or two, but if you stick to your gun, she'll learn. My daughter was like that at the beginning. She'll scream non-stop for 10 minutes and eventually, fall asleep and she was in la-la land. Soon it became a routine for her - scream before she goes to sleep. Friends and family were really frighten at first when they first hear her scream like that, but I told them she's fine, that was her way of falling asleep.

No to the pacifier. Congratulations on your new baby!

We never did a paci with any of our kids. Some research that I recently read, out of interest, was that pacis at night decrease the time spent in REM, so the babies actually have less quality sleep and wake up more tired and cranky. It was basically showing why a paci at night supposedly decreases SIDS, because the baby never gets deep enough to stop breathing. Who knows who paid for that research, but figured I'd share it with you in case it helped at all???

Remember, she TWO weeks old and if there was any separation at the hospital, it could be that she just wants to make sure you are around before she passes out. It'll pass. She's still figuring out life on Earth. LOL

I don't buy the Rem sleep thing. There is also a study that says pacies reduce the chance of SIDS. I'm doing this same thing right nwo with my 2 month old. I just give it to him when I know he's tired. It helps. It's not good for them to use your breast as a pacie. If your baby spits out the pacie every 10 min and crys, she's hungry. Feed her. Put her back to bed, put the pacie in. My oldest loved his pacie from day one, really needed to suck all the time. My second isn't like that but does use it occasionally.

I have two teenage daughters now, both who were glued to their pacifiers. When my oldest was 3.5 yo we finally had to hide all of them. She would search all over the house and have tantrums. We were forever cleaning them, finding them in the car, in between the cushions of the couch - it was very difficult. Our youngest wasn't as demanding about them. If there is any way you could avoid it, you may spare yourself 4 years of hide and seek. They eventually switched to the non-spill sippy cups. We found that rides in the car always worked to get her to sleep. We also set up a bouncey seat and let her bounce for hours until she was asleep but she was a little older at that point. I hope that helps!

K.

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With both my kids, we used pacifiers (binkies) when they were newborns, and we got rid of them before they turned 2. We only used them to help them get to sleep for naps or night, and occasionally if we were out to dinner (only if they started to get fussy). My kids never seemed to wake up trying to find it, but at nap time they would find it and go back to sleep! We loved the binkies, and so did they, but we didn't over use them. Then we warned them a few months before they were 2 that the binky fairy needed them back, and the first couple days it was hard, and sometimes they cried for it, but they adjusted fine. It's much better than the thumb! You can't take away the thumb! Oh, the kind we used was Gerber Nuk pacifiers, there are different sizes. I think they are the best.

I wish my oldest son would have taken a pacifier. I would have gotten alot more sleep. My 2nd & third children took the pacifier but I did not alow them to have it all the time. Just for fussy moments and bed time. I dont think it is a bad thing as long as you dont allow them to use it as they get alot older.

Well, the doctors doing studies on sids found that pacifiers help to reduce the likelyhood that it will happen...
As to feeding all the time, my daughter fed every hour for half an hour. I had to play with her and bother her so she would get enough and not just fall asleep. this little piggy worked pretty well. Once we got her eating and waking a little better she ate for half an hour ever two hours or so. At night we got to where we only had one or two feedings a night. We had a pacifier, and it was fine, but I made sure she was eating enough before I gave her the pacifier... Your daughter is really little, remember she really needs to eat a lot if she is going to grow properly.
Good luck
R.

I was against the pacifier as well but gave in bc my lil one starting sticking her fingers and hands into her mouth (due to teething). Our Pediatrician advised us not to use one until after 2 months. We buy the Avent ones because it comes with a cap to cover the nipple when not in use. We only give it to her during her nap times, car rides, and again for bed time. It does pop out while she is sleeping and she will wimper until we stick it back in her mouth or sometimes, she manages to find it herself. You will also need the tether to clip onto them so it doesn't land on the floor. And make sure you get the ones that are "orthodontic" I beleive these are flat in shape. Good luck!

DONT DO IT!! I have two girls, one now 16 and the baby is 3. I nursed both. I never used a pacifier and frankly they didnt want anything that didnt have food it it. It's just another thing to worry where you put it; did you remember it god forbid; traveling with tons of stuff and losing it and they have a screaming fit...etc. Honey, whatever you give them they adjust to. The less, the better.
AND FYI, When I began to stop nursing I switched the bottle back and forth with my breasts and neither had a problem. AND, they slept with me all the time and never had a problem moving to their own bed. Sometimes they were in their bed, sometimes in mine. AND, I carried my babies around all the time. As long as they didnt have a problem with me putting them down, there was no problem. Had they had a fit when I put them down instead of carried them, I would've stopped carrying them right then.
You see my logic? Everybody, and magazines, and Dr so-n-so says you CAN do this and alot of CANTS...phooey. Use your mommy common sense. Nature works best and normal mommies know by instinct. You can MAKE problems/issues where there doesnt have to be one. Think. It's YOUR baby. Not your neighbor's, not a novel's on rules...it's yours.

Bless you,

Wendy

my son who's five now never took a paci but my daughter who is 11 months took them from day one! Only for sleeping purposes though, we have never had problems with her losing it at night. When it's time to ween we will cut off the tips of the paci and that seems to help them not want it, I think it's the feeling of the cut tip that they don't like! Good luck and congrats!

try the paci if she wakes continuously at night then do something else. at 2 weeks they dont know how to self soothe just yet. try putting her on her tummy or side to sleep (if on the tummy make sure her head is turned to the side :)). my daughter took a paci till 4 months then i got rid of it because she used it as a toy. when shes fussy just offer it to her and also when you put her to sleep. its better to have her goto sleep with a paci then a bottle (but you bf so thats even better!) you may have to get a few different ones to find one she likes (my daughter would only take a soothy or a nuk). good luck